Want to follow my blog?
Pick a way to do it!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Our Day in Court

Finally...today was the day of my Super Duper Uber Secret Appointment.

The appointment itself went smoothly, after the judge arrived 30 minutes late.

Enjoying the view from the peanut gallery.

Talk about a legal team!

The star of the day!

Oh, so I guess you want to know why we were there?

I know that some people aren't going to agree with what I did today.
I know that some people are going to be downright angry with me.
I know that most people totally support my decision - including my children.

Daniel's last name has now been legally changed to my maiden name.

There. I said it.

Want to know why?

1. My older 3 kids all share the same last name - that of their father, my first husband, who is an active participant in their lives.

2. Alex's last name is my maiden name. His father and I weren't married when he was born and at that time, I was still using my first married name. I made the decision at that time to give him my maiden name.

3. I took my maiden name back after my second divorce.

4. Daniel was the only person in this family to have his last name. He didn't "match" anyone else.

5. Daniel's father's family has not been involved in his life at all for 2 years, 3 months, and 27 days, as of today. At all. I opened the door, and they chose not to come in.

6. Daniel's father's family has chosen not to cooperate with me in any way, shape or form to ensure that he would qualify for various programs. They put their selfish, spiteful, petty ways ahead of his well-being.

7. My family has been there for Daniel since the day he was born, and will be forever.

Didn't make much sense to me to have him carry the name of a family who has proven over and over again that they don't care about him - so why not give him the name of his family who loves him?

So, it's done and over with. I just have to wait to get the official paperwork back from the state, which should only take a week or two - then I get to run around and change it with everyone who needs to have it changed.

With all of that being said.....I feel the need to remind everyone that because of the comments that were left on this post I will continue to moderate comments. I will post all comments unless they contain personally identifying information about anyone (you know, don't spill the last names and stuff like that). Please keep the language at least semi-clean. Bash me all you want - I'm a big girl and I can handle it. Don't bash each other. It's ok to disagree - just show a little respect.

Now, have at it.


  1. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! I knew it! I was right! I am SO SO SO SO SO SO stinking happy for you!!! Daniel deserves to have a last name that will be strong, and the new one is definitely that! I love you girl! I am so going to call you for a catch up session this weekend!!!! I miss you!

  2. Since I am posting the first comment, hopefully it will set the tone for others, who may not know what tact is.
    I think you made a wonderful decision and I think that your little one should have the name of those who love him, and care for him. Why carry on the name and "legacy" of a family who does nothing for you? Since you and your family are the only ones involved in his life, they you have the ultimate right to choose. They don't participate in his life then they have no business telling you what to name your son.
    Good for you girl :)

  3. LOL you almost got the first one, Rose! :)

  4. I wonder if I could do this for Dylan and Piper, or if I have to have permission from Jason....

  5. The rules here were pretty straightforward. If you want to change the child's name to either the father's name or the mother's maiden name, you fill out this ridiculously easy form and both parents have to sign it. If you want to change it to some other name, then you have to have an attorney and stuff. The judge just basically reviewed it, signed it, and the clerk stamped it. Boom. Done.

    In my case, since his father passed away, I just had to have a copy of the death certificate.

  6. This is FANTASTIC...so wonderful of you to think of doing this (seemingly) controversial act for your son...It will be something that will make him feel even more tied in to his family and with the *first* three having the same name and *you* three having the same name the symmetry of it will seem absolutely perfect...and complete.
    Said it before, I'll say it again...you are great (no, I didn't say perfect as none of us are) super duper wonderful caring loving (etc etc etc on and on forever) mom!
    congratulations Daniel! (give that great mommy an extra tight hug...you got a winner in her little man!)

  7. Good for you Mom! When my oldest son was born, I was not married to his father, but gave him his father's last name as we were in a relationship, etc. I never regretted it, even when his father walked out on us. When I married my husband, his father would not allow me to change his last name to match mine. My husband and I have 5 children together, and my oldest always felt left out because he had a different name, but was proud to have his dad's. His father dropped out of his life a few years ago and degraded to the point where I had his parental rights revoked. I was able to change his name, like you put it, to match the family who loves him and is always there for him. Forever.

    Congrats to you and Daniel! :)

  8. Thank you for the support, everyone! I really appreciate it!

  9. 100% thumbs up from the VA peeps.

  10. I always wonder what it would be like to have my mom's last name. Especially since I found out (after applying for disability) that I originally WAS named with her last name (since my parents weren't married, I guess?).

    Anyway, I know you did this out of sheer love for your son, and you can never go wrong in that. Congrats! =)



  12. Hey girl. Haven't been around much - but I'm thrilled that you did that. Leave the judgement to God for all those who have something negative to say. A legacy is a legacy - and I love that you gave him yours. Great job.

  13. Thanks again, everyone! I really appreciate it!

    He's been practicing his new name - and he loves to say it! It's so stinkin' cute! Of course, he doesn't really understand what it all means, but he will someday. The older kids all think that it's great and are very happy with it.

    His father's name will always be on his birth certificate - there's no removing that, as even I don't think that's right. But at least now we don't have a constant daily reminder of the bad things that happened in the past. I got to sign his new name today for the first time in the guestbook at the art show, and it was a really really good feeling!

  14. It is clear that you need to continue to say negative things about his father's family in order to feel good about yourself.

  15. Interesting comment about saying things about his fathers family in your last post. I must have missed that part. Though, inbreds often have reading and comprehension.

  16. Amy, that is wonderful!!!



I have only two rules - don't reveal anyone's personal information, and be respectful. It's not difficult, honest. Now, go on and play.