Let me explain.
In the past, I have been in not-so-wonderful relationships with not-so-wonderful men. There was abuse and addiction and disrespectful behavior and lies and manipulation, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. To me, that was normal. It's what I was accustomed to having in my significant other.
The Dude isn't like that. He'll say or do something that most people would consider to be normal - for example, take out the trash - and I give him "the look". The look mostly comes from surprise because he did it voluntarily and because he didn't complain about it, but mostly just because he did it. He didn't leave it for me to do. The first few times that he did things like this, I really had to take a step back and think about it, because no one had ever really done those kinds of things for me before, and I had to convince myself that it was ok for him to do it - I had to process that maybe, just maybe, this is the way that things are supposed to be.
Apparently, it's rather obvious to him when I do it - and he'll just say "are you processing again?" and smile. It's funny - he doesn't look at it as doing anything special, but to me, the little things like taking out the trash or stopping to get me a soda while he's out or doing the dishes while I'm busy with something else - those things are amazing. I am so grateful to him for everything that he does.
Today was a prime example - although it was way bigger than just taking out the trash or getting me a soda.
I have the Frosty 5K coming up on Sunday, and I really haven't gotten out to do any walking/jogging for about the past month. I was getting a little stressed out about it, and mentioned it to him the other day. His response?
"Let me know when you want to go run, and I'll keep the kids for you while you go."
Had to process that one for quite a while.
Seriously, in any past relationship, that would not have happened. First off, I wouldn't be preparing for (another) 5K because I would have been told that I was too fat and lazy to do it (and yes, I did try before, and that's what I was told) and even if I 'defied orders' and did it anyway, there's no way that I could have done it without the kids.
Things like this - that most people would consider to be "normal" - seem strange to me. And I have to process them and think about them, and make them make sense in my head before I can 'let go' and let him help me. I'm so used to doing things on my own that actually having help is strange - and it's hard for me to let go of the control and allow him (or anyone) to help. But as time moves on, I'm beginning to realize that it's ok for him to help me. I don't have to do everything by myself anymore. I think I've finally started to realize that this is what a normal, healthy relationship is supposed to be like - and although I'm still getting used to the idea, I think I'm beginning to accept it.
So anyway, we met at a park and he kept the boys there while I took off...
It was an absolutely gorgeous day, especially for the end of December, and I did a lot of processing while I was out there by myself.
It really kind of hit me as I was out there jogging along, enjoying the peace and quiet. I've never had someone stand behind me like he does. Whether it's getting things done around the house or helping me to train for a 5K - I've never had the help from anyone like I do from him.
It is such a new concept to me - to have someone actually help and support me. But this is the way that it's supposed to be, right?
Anyway, while I was walking/jogging, the boys played and The Dude snapped some pictures...
And when I got back, we both started goofing around with them...
Now, I will admit that I did find another flaw in him today - beside the obvious one (Cowgirls fan). He does have another serious flaw. Are you ready for it?
He likes to take pictures. And he likes to get ones that may not be oh-so-flattering at times. And those pictures might be of me.
But, it's all good. I promised him that I would post them - and I have serious doubts that these will be the last ridiculous pictures of me.
For the record, I do not routinely run around making this particular face or picking at my butt. However, there was a puddle of water at the top of the slide, and although I gave it my best effort, I still landed in it. And it was cold. And wet.
I will get even with him though. I've been known to snap pictures when it is least expected. Just sayin'.