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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Did I really just say that?

As any parent has experienced, we often hear things coming out of our own mouths that make us stop and say, "did I really just say that?" As more than one of these came out of my mouth today, I stopped and started writing them down. Before long, I had an entire page filled – both sides.

Some of these are "those lines" that my parents said – the very ones that I swore would never come out of my mouth. I believe that every parent has said some of them at some point. See how many you recognize…

~ "I don't care if you didn't make the mess – you're going to help clean it up!"
~ "How do you expect me to pack your lunch if you left your lunchbox at school?"
~ "If I step on that _____ one more time, it's going in the trash!"
~ "Get your finger out of your nose."
~ "Get your finger out of your brother's nose."
~ "Yes, you have to use soap when you get a bath."
~ "Who farted?" (usually said in the van)
~ "Who pooped?"
~ "The more you bug me about it, the longer the answer is going to be 'no'."
~ "You'll eat what I cook and you'll like it."
~ "Don't make me beat you in public." (usually said within earshot of a judgmental bystander just for my own personal amusement)
~ "Why is there a worm stuck to the ceiling?"
~ "Stop spitting. Now."
~ "Let's get out of this house before someone kills someone else. Now."
~ "Can't I just pee in peace? Just once?"
~ "Why is there a golf ball in my bed?"
~ "You don't want me to clean up this mess, do you? I didn't think so."
~ "No, you can not have cookies for supper."
~ Kid: "Mom, how does ______________ ?" Me: "Magic."
~ "Because I said so."
~ "Excuse me? What did you just say?" (usually said after I hear something that sounds obnoxious)
~ "If you aren't ready to walk out the door in 30 seconds, I'm leaving without you."
~ Kid: "Mom, I want ______." Me: "Oh yeah? Well, I want a million dollars."
~ "Use your words. I don't understand whine."
~ "Pee or poop?"
~ "Stop licking your brother."
~ "Get out of the refrigerator."
~ "Your laundry isn't going to put itself away."
~ "Stop poking your sister with a stick."
~ "Don't make me stop this van!!!"
~ "Is there a reason why you're being so loud?"
~ "I suggest you stop doing that right now."
~ "Are you bleeding? Are you dead? Then stop interrupting me while I'm on the phone."

Sound familiar to anyone? Thought so....

9 comments:

  1. LMAO! I use that all the time- "I'm taking a nap.... don't wake me up unless you are bleeding so bad that it's dripping on the floor, or the house is on fire and you can't put it out!" HAHA! One time.... Dylan really was bleeding that bad.... and he didn't wake me up because he thought he would get in trouble because he was playing with something he shouldn't have been. I woke up and there was freaking blood everywhere.

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  2. A worm stuck to the ceiling? Wow...
    My favorites are:
    "Get your finger out of your brother's nose"
    "Stop licking your brother"
    "Get out of the refrigerator"
    "Don't make me beat you"
    and of course.. "How the heck did you manage to do that???"
    Those are the most used in this house.

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  3. OK, my kids are grown, so my question to you is this, "HOW THE HECK DID YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID TO MY KIDS!!!!????!!! LOL
    Mare

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  4. I have used so many of these. I could probably do a whole post about the things I say on a daily basis as well. HAHA

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  5. Said to our four year old at Applebees last night.

    Did you just lick that?
    Why did lick the top of the salt shaker?

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  6. Three kids, each 4 years apart... I think I said at least half of those TODAY

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  7. Scary thing is how often things like this are said around here.....it's mind boggling!

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  8. SOME OF THE FUNNIEST LINES I'VE HEARD.I'M SURE I SAID A FEW OF THEM MYSELF.WHY MOTHERS TURN GRAY.

    GRANNY

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