Did I really just say that?

As any parent has experienced, we often hear things coming out of our own mouths that make us stop and say, "did I really just say that?" As more than one of these came out of my mouth today, I stopped and started writing them down. Before long, I had an entire page filled – both sides.

Some of these are "those lines" that my parents said – the very ones that I swore would never come out of my mouth. I believe that every parent has said some of them at some point. See how many you recognize…

~ "I don't care if you didn't make the mess – you're going to help clean it up!"
~ "How do you expect me to pack your lunch if you left your lunchbox at school?"
~ "If I step on that _____ one more time, it's going in the trash!"

~ "Get your finger out of your nose."
~ "Get your finger out of your brother's nose."
~ "Yes, you have to use soap when you get a bath."
~ "Who farted?" (usually said in the van)
~ "Who pooped?"
~ "The more you bug me about it, the longer the answer is going to be 'no'."
~ "You'll eat what I cook and you'll like it."
~ "Don't make me beat you in public." (usually said within earshot of a judgmental bystander just for my own personal amusement)
~ "Why is there a worm stuck to the ceiling?"
~ "Stop spitting. Now."
~ "Let's get out of this house before someone kills someone else. Now."
~ "Can't I just pee in peace? Just once?"
~ "Why is there a golf ball in my bed?"
~ "You don't want me to clean up this mess, do you? I didn't think so."
~ "No, you can not have cookies for supper."
~ Kid: "Mom, how does ______________ ?" Me: "Magic."
~ "Because I said so."
~ "Excuse me? What did you just say?" (usually said after I hear something that sounds obnoxious)
~ "If you aren't ready to walk out the door in 30 seconds, I'm leaving without you."
~ Kid: "Mom, I want ______." Me: "Oh yeah? Well, I want a million dollars."
~ "Use your words. I don't understand whine."
~ "Pee or poop?"
~ "Stop licking your brother."
~ "Get out of the refrigerator."
~ "Your laundry isn't going to put itself away."
~ "Stop poking your sister with a stick."
~ "Don't make me stop this van!!!"
~ "Is there a reason why you're being so loud?"
~ "I suggest you stop doing that right now."
~ "Are you bleeding? Are you dead? Then stop interrupting me while I'm on the phone."

Sound familiar to anyone? Thought so....