Over the past few days, I've been on a mission of sorts to help out a friend who found out that she is gaining custody of 3 little boys. She lives about 3 hours from here, but since we were planning on going down there this weekend anyway, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to gather some things to take to her.
Granted, I did not expect to end up with as much as we did.
I didn't expect to have so much stuff that we would have to tie some of it onto the roof of the van to get it there. I am so thankful that it worked out that way though.
To me, this is not a big deal. She needed help, and I was able to find some things for her and take them to her. I didn't do it for public accolades and admiration - I did it because it was the right thing to do.
Along the way, I actually had people question my motives. Some people chose to believe that the whole thing was a farce - that I was collecting the things in order to turn around and sell them for my own profit.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I had people tell me that I was doing such a wonderful thing, and that it was just so amazing. Those are actually the comments that really got me to thinking about some things.
Why is it so amazing that I would collect some things for a friend in need? Isn't that what we, as civilized human beings, are supposed to do? Aren't we supposed to help people when they need it?
What I did was not amazing - I did what needed to be done. I am so thankful that I was able to do what I did to make this transition easier for these babies and for my friend and her husband. Collecting stuff to take to her was a no-brainer - but to many people it was like I moved mountains.
Don't get me wrong - I'm so incredibly grateful for everyone who was able to donate items to her. And I totally understand that many people were unable to for so many reasons. I know that times are tough right now. Financially, I'm not able to do much to help her. But, we had this trip to see her planned and budgeted already, so tossing in a few extra bags of goodies wasn't that big of a deal. And it was important for my kids to see what we were doing - it is important for them to understand that while we may not have much, we can still help someone else.
Doing the right thing for someone shouldn't be amazing. It should be normal. Doing the right thing should be a way of life for everyone - not a rare occasion for a few people.
Think about it. The next time you hear about someone who needs help with something - really think about it. Figure out if there is a way that you can help. Sometimes, even if you think that you can't do anything, you might be able to find someone who can.
I agree.. too many times the "right thing" is seen as someone "looking for a place in the spot light" when it reality its simply just doing the right thing. Its a shame that America has come to question ones motives no matter what we do. SMH. I personally think your amazing for helping this woman. It was beyond a grand gesture, and one I could only hope that someone else would do for another in a time of need. (Then again, Im the mom who would give the shirt off my back if someone else needed it... )
ReplyDeleteYou have my total respect.
You're exactly right - everyone's motives get questioned anymore, and it stinks. I'm just thankful that I was able to help as much as I could - and it just goes to show that even if you don't have *stuff* to give, you can still help locate it! ;)
DeleteI think so many consider it amazing b/c sadly, this has become a "me,me,me" society. The majority either wanting to line their own pockets or inflate their own egos. B/c that seems to be the mainstream some can't fathom doing right for the sake of doing right as well teaching by example not empty gestures or platitudes. I've found that those who've truly been in need are the first to step up to do the right thing when the opportunity arises. I'd like to thank you, not for being amazing, but for being a "good guy" and teaching at least a few members of our world's next generation the correct way to live. With that said,I hope to have some things to ship your way in a few weeks. I'm still waiting for my local friends to go thru their unneeded items. Give The Dude and his mom a hug for me. Hopefully we'll get to meet in the next year or two when I'm able to make it back there to visit. :)
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to meeting you, and I will definitely pass along the hugs! ;)
DeleteWhat you said is right - I have been the one who has been in need before, and I have been the one who has been on the receiving end of generous donations in the past. Thankfully, I have moved beyond that now and while I don't have a lot of extra, I still try to help others as much as I can. This is something that I have been trying to teach my kids too - while they don't understand how truly destitute we were at one point, someday they will - it's important for them to understand that if we are able to help someone, we're going to help them. Period.
I absolutely love what you did, and am very happy to know there are still people in the world like this. Personally I don't really care what people think my motives are for doing something, as long as I know my heart is pure. I only hope that I have the same kinda of friend as you when I hopefully add three more kids to the three I already have. I really love the fact that you involved the kids, so that they might learn a very valuable lesson about being human in a not so human world. Best of luck and hugs to your friends on their new journey.
ReplyDeleteLike I told Jeni above, it is so important for me personally to involve my kids in things like this. Not so very long ago, we were the ones on the receiving end of donations, and it is so wonderful to now be on the other end - and I want them to realize that even if we don't have the financial resources, with a little creativity, we can still help somehow!
DeleteYou are amazing but for so many other reasons than just you help someone out in a time of need. I've been the one gathering things for a girl at work before and it is amazing to see that there are still great people in the world who are willing to help someone out in a time of need.
ReplyDeleteLove ya and you are great!
PS - This is Annessa :)
You're pretty awesome too, and thank YOU for everything that you threw into the donation pile - they were thrilled with everything that we took down there! I love being able to do it, and just hope that more and more people will feel the same way as situations arise!
DeleteI'm sure your friend appreciate EVERYTHING you were able to gather and that is all that matters. Good luck to your friend.
ReplyDeleteGreat job.
Melinda
Thank you so much, Melinda! :)
DeleteJust speaking for myself, I sent you a 'tip of my cap' comment just to acknowledge an act of kindness. I don't understand why someone would take your doing a nice thing as anything but that. Sadly, some people just think that anything nice has a bad side. That is never a thought of mine. After I read your post, my first thought was...way to go!!!...and I wanted to express it. It feels good to say thank you to someone. I was surprised that you thought that your bloggers saying nice things about your act of kindness was excessive. That was my word not yours, it was just my feeling from your post. I work for a charity in my town, and I am sure many people who read your blog do what they can to help others. I was just saying 'thank you' to you, that is all. Please just take the 'thank you's' in. That is what commenting on a blog is all about, expressing our feelings to what you write.
ReplyDelete:)
Hugs, Beth
Beth, I really do appreciate all of the kind words that everyone had to say. I was just shocked that some people (and it wasn't just blog people) seemed to think that this was just such an incredible thing for me to be doing, when to me it was just doing the right thing.
DeleteThe more I thought about it, the more I realized that not enough people do the right thing - so it's become more unusual to see it happen. I wish it wasn't like that - I wish that doing the right thing happened so often that it was just 'normal' - but sadly, it just doesn't seem like that anymore.
I'm glad that I was able to do it, and I appreciate what everyone said - I really do. I just wish that more people would help out when needed, regardless of the situation. If more and more people helped out when other people needed it, instead of turning their backs and walking away, the world would be a much better place!
:)