We need to turn it around...

I went into the beginning of this new year full of hope and excitement. I really do think that there are going to be some wonderful things happening for me and my family this year. I was anxious to get this year started for so many positive reasons.

But then the new year started - and it didn't start well at all.

I found out on the second day of the year that one of my friends was going through a personal hell, and as a mother, it hit home for me.

On the third day, we got more devastating news that again, hit me so incredibly hard.

The Dude has been having problems with his truck. My "service engine" light was on. He has to get two teeth pulled tomorrow afternoon.

It just hasn't been a stellar start to the year. But at the same time I know that it could always be worse.

We spent part of the afternoon today working on his truck. Although we didn't get it fixed, we have now narrowed down the problem and are about 98% sure that we know what's wrong with it. He can drive it for now, for short distances, but it needs to be fixed. Of course that doesn't come for free, but we can get it taken care of in the next couple of weeks.

My "service engine" light? I had a sneaking suspicion desperate hope that it was something stupid - and it was. Turns out the gas cap wasn't on tight enough to make it happy. Stupid thing. But the light's off now, so it's good.

Tonight, however.....tonight was hard. As I mentioned the other day, a little boy who was the son of one of Sarah's mentors was killed in a horrible accident last week. As a mother, I can't even begin to imagine the impact of losing a child. I just can't wrap my head around it. After the kids got home from school and basketball practice tonight, Sarah announced that she wanted to go to the boy's viewing. I wasn't sure that it was a good idea, but she and I talked about it and she really wanted to go. I told her she would have to check with her father, since she was supposed to go to church with him tonight. He agreed that she could go, but only if I went with her. So plans quickly changed, Ex1 came and got Emily and Jared, I took Alex and Daniel over to The Dude's house, and Sarah and I went to the viewing.

It was so hard. So incredibly hard. Seeing the little boy's parents and sisters there, and the other mourners...looking at the pictures and the videos from his short little life....my heart shattered so many times tonight. Seeing the pain in his mother's eyes as she hugged me and thanked me for coming....I have tears running down my face as I'm typing this.

All I've been able to think for the past few days is "something's got to give" - there has been too much bad stuff to start off a new year. Way too much. It needs to change, and somehow we need to turn it around. So I started thinking - always dangerous for me to do.

Tomorrow, January 10, 2013 is my 2 year blogiversary. It's been 2 years since I started this crazy thing.  And Sunday, January 13, is both my 42nd birthday and the 2nd anniversary of the day that my 2nd divorce became final.

I need to celebrate. I want to celebrate. I want to be happy. While I can't forget about the bad stuff, I can't focus on it - and I don't want anyone else to focus on the bad stuff either.

So what do we do?

I know what I'm going to do. I've always been a huge fan of the "Pay it Forward" movement (as is my good friend over at Mom-troversial) and I'm going to start making a really conscious effort to pay it forward as much as I can and in as many ways as I can. I have a pile of stuff sitting by my front door already that needs to be donated - and it's going to go out this week. We have toys that the kids have outgrown or they don't like or whatever. Guess what? They're going out the door too.

I've made up my mind that I am going to do as much as I can for two of my favorite local organizations too - our homeless shelter and our women's safe house. I have my own personal reasons for choosing those two in particular, but they're going to be getting some of my time, my money, and any of my "stuff" that they can use.

So - for my blogiversary and for my birthday, this is the best gift that anyone could give to me (*cough* along with a pair of warm fuzzy slippers so that I don't have to keep wearing The Dude's that are 18 sizes too big for me *cough*). Go out and do something for someone. Donate something somewhere. Be nice to someone. Donate something that you don't need anymore instead of selling it. Volunteer your time. If you have the cash, make a donation to a local organization that needs it. There are so many ways that we can make someone else's life just a little bit easier, but we overlook those things so often in our hurry to deal with our own lives. Pay it forward, people. Please.

So go and do it, and tell me what you did. Leave it in a comment here, post it on my facebook wall, send me an email, whatever. Tell the world that you did it, and maybe you'll inspire someone else to do the same thing.

When did doing the right thing become amazing?

Note: I have a ton of pictures and stories from the weekend, and I will be posting some of those. But, instead of doing that tonight, I want you to think about something. This is something that has been eating at me for the past few days.

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Over the past few days, I've been on a mission of sorts to help out a friend who found out that she is gaining custody of 3 little boys. She lives about 3 hours from here, but since we were planning on going down there this weekend anyway, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to gather some things to take to her.

Granted, I did not expect to end up with as much as we did.

I didn't expect to have so much stuff that we would have to tie some of it onto the roof of the van to get it there. I am so thankful that it worked out that way though.

To me, this is not a big deal. She needed help, and I was able to find some things for her and take them to her. I didn't do it for public accolades and admiration - I did it because it was the right thing to do.

Along the way, I actually had people question my motives. Some people chose to believe that the whole thing was a farce - that I was collecting the things in order to turn around and sell them for my own profit.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I had people tell me that I was doing such a wonderful thing, and that it was just so amazing. Those are actually the comments that really got me to thinking about some things.

Why is it so amazing that I would collect some things for a friend in need? Isn't that what we, as civilized human beings, are supposed to do? Aren't we supposed to help people when they need it?

What I did was not amazing - I did what needed to be done. I am so thankful that I was able to do what I did to make this transition easier for these babies and for my friend and her husband. Collecting stuff to take to her was a no-brainer - but to many people it was like I moved mountains.

Don't get me wrong - I'm so incredibly grateful for everyone who was able to donate items to her. And I totally understand that many people were unable to for so many reasons. I know that times are tough right now. Financially, I'm not able to do much to help her. But, we had this trip to see her planned and budgeted already, so tossing in a few extra bags of goodies wasn't that big of a deal. And it was important for my kids to see what we were doing - it is important for them to understand that while we may not have much, we can still help someone else.

Doing the right thing for someone shouldn't be amazing. It should be normal. Doing the right thing should be a way of life for everyone - not a rare occasion for a few people.

Think about it. The next time you hear about someone who needs help with something - really think about it. Figure out if there is a way that you can help. Sometimes, even if you think that you can't do anything, you might be able to find someone who can.