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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Another open letter.

Dear family of my late ex-husband:

I don't even know where to start this one. I really don't.

You have truly stooped to a new low - one that I didn't even think was possible to reach.

On February 5, Mary called me to inform me that a trust fund was being set up for Daniel and E. I gave Mary all of the information that she requested - Daniel's date of birth, his social security number, and anything else that she asked. She assured me that day that as soon as everything was completed, a copy of the paperwork would be mailed to me.

Big surprise - haven't gotten it yet.

Why do I need it? I need it to prove that I do not have access to any money that may or may not be in the trust. Why do I have to do that? It is required for income verification purposes for several programs - including preschool - for which Daniel is eligible. I was told that the trust exists, so I disclosed that on the applications. However, since I can't prove that I don't have access to it, all of the opportunities for Daniel are being pulled out from under his feet.

I called the bank - they refused to even speak to me, even though my minor child's name is on the account. So I had my attorney call, and they refused to speak to him as well.

So, because of your petty, selfish, vindictive, and controlling ways, Daniel most likely will not be attending preschool in the fall. It's a shame too, since he would benefit from it both academically and socially. And he'll lose his medical, dental, and vision insurance (along with the rest of my kids, who you have always *claimed* to love so very much). There were some other programs that I was looking into for him - but guess what? With my inability to prove that I can't access the alleged trust, he can't get into those either.

As for the birthday card that he received yesterday....I have several issues with that too.

First off, I divorced Jeff. I took my maiden name back - which was indicated by the return address on the previous letter that I sent to you. Show me a little bit of respect in that area, please. Your name is no longer mine.

Second - Don't tell me that you "hope all is well with you and the kids" because if you truly did, this situation would have resolved itself over 2 years ago.

Third - Don't bother to pray for us. We've got that taken care of by people who are involved in our lives.

Fourth - Don't bother sending a check (made out to me with my former married name on it) so that I could get Daniel "something special" from you. I give him something special every day - love from his family and friends. I don't need your money to do that. I don't need your money at all. I don't want your money.

In fact, I want nothing from you. Nothing at all.

No, let me correct myself there. I want the copy of the trust fund paperwork so that I can get Daniel into these programs. If the trust doesn't exist, then I want documentation from you stating that it doesn't exist.

If it does exist and his name is on it, I want you to remove it. Period. You have proven that you don't care about him. In fact, that's one area where you have gone above and beyond. Remove his name from the trust, make E the sole beneficiary of it, and stay out of our lives.

I'm done. You have had 2 years, 1 month, and 5 days to show that you cared about Daniel. A couple of cards here and there doesn't prove anything.

Please send me the documentation that I need. That is all that I want from you. Ever.

Thank you.



P.S. Glad that you find my blog so interesting - yes, I see you reading it. 40+ posts in one night? Really? Maybe you should have shown that much interest over the past 2 years. Be expecting the card and the check to be returned to you in the mail, along with a copy of this post, in the next few days.

26 comments:

  1. And for anyone who would like to express a comment - good, bad, or otherwise - please be assured that I will post them all, as long as they do not reveal personal information about Jeff and his family. I can take whatever you want to dish out, but I will not tolerate comments like the one that I received on the last letter that revealed his last name and the town that he was from. That is where I draw the line.

    And if you directly bash another commenter, consider that grounds for having your comment deleted as well.

    Now, have at it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well said. Those people are beyond belief. The level of selfishness is just amazing.
    Total Pieces Of Sh**!
    Bruce

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  3. Holy crap....it's apparent to me that a phone conversation is going to be necessary between the two of us soon!!! Know I love you girl!

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  4. Ugh. Fuck 'em. Selfish bastards. Seriously. I'm pretty sure 'Hallmark moments' were reserved for people who are involved in the lives of others.... not as a substitute for real love.

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  5. Thank you everyone!

    FYI - I am calling it a night. Storms are rolling in so I need to shut the computer down for the time being. Any comments that are submitted overnight will be posted in the morning, but possibly not until after church.

    Goodnight!

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  6. Give Little Man loves for me. He knows who loves him. He doesn't deserve selfish manipulative liars like them in his life. Major hugs, loves, and prayers sent your way.

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  7. I think you can go to the police station and fill out an affidavit saying you don't have any knowledge of whether a trust fund exists or not and exactly what you've done to try and find out and that you have absolutely no ability to access the alleged money and then present that to the income verification people. You made a good faith effort to find out. I say forget about it and move on. This situation will just get worse and they will not be the ones to resolve it. Trust me. They will always think it is your fault to avoid admitting it might just be theirs...

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  8. Here's a comment that I received this morning. I have edited it solely for language, and not for content. Some people just aren't fit to play in the sandbox with others.

    Posted by Anonymous at 8:52am:

    Hey Amy. You are a f*****g worthless C**T and I hope you f*****g die.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sorry to hear about your current trials. It SHOULD be all about the kids but seldom is. I hope you get it all straightened out soon. Will keep you in my prayers.

    BTW, the comment you edited? Not even worth 2 cents! Hang in there!

    Kar

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  10. Tigers are sexy. Deep breath. Hugs.

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  11. I'm with Kar. Just delete it. Not worth your time.

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  12. And Heather, too. And well, damn all of you. We're now an "Us."

    Except for your Exes. They can suck it like Trebek.

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  13. AMY, MY HEART FEELS SO HEAVY FOR YOUR LITTLE BOY. YOUR DOING A GOOD JOB WITH THE CHILDREN REMEMBER IF THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU SWEETIE IT'S THEIR PROBLEM SO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND ENJOY ALL THOSE SWEET CHILDREN. AS A GRANDMOTHER AND YEARS OF EXPERIENCE YOU CAN'T WIN WITH HATERS AND USING THE F WORDS IS SUCH FILTH.I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WANTS TO LAY IN FILTH. I PRAY FOR THIS PERSON THAT CALLED YOU SUCH WORDS. I CAN'T BELIEVE SUCH WORDS CAN COME OUT OF A PERSON MOUTH. THEY MUST HATE EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. I FEEL SAD THAT LIFE HAS KILLED THE WORD LOVE IN THIS PERSON. LORD FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DON'T KNOW THE SINS OF HELL WILL LEAD THEM DOWN THAT PATH TO THE FIRE. OMG HOW AWFUL. HUGS, I'VE NEVER MET YOU BUT I CAN FEEL THE HURT YOUR FEELING.WITH OUR LORD ON YOUR SIDE, YOU CAN'T FAIL.

    GRANNY

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  14. I dont know you and I like you. lol Seriously, it's sad how selfish people have no concerns about using children as weapons in their delusional quests to hurt others. I hope they read this comment because this is for them
    : grow up , whether you like her or not put the children first ALWAYS... always. If you have one once of love for the children, send her the paperwork she needs. :
    I truly hope you get what you need so your children can get what they DESERVE. Mary

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  15. Thanks again, everyone - and I did post that comment only because I have said before (and I'll say it again) that I'll post all of the comments, as long as they don't cross the line of revealing personal information or attacking another commenter. Me, I can handle it.

    Anonymous - thank you very much for that information - I will be following up on this first thing in the morning. That was something that I never even thought about doing. Hopefully that will work because a few deadlines are approaching for these applications.

    They will continue to blame me for his death, and I don't care anymore. I know that it was because of choices that he made - not me. I can only assume that they lash out as a way to ease their own guilt.

    *shrug* I'm not losing any sleep over it.

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  16. Hugs from one mom with exlaw problems to another. I've gone through similar with my daughter and ex's family. Don't let them get to you and know you are well liked and loved by those that matter!

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  17. Believe me I know all about rotten in-laws, or ex-laws in your case. People like that take joy in blaming everyone and everything around them for their miserable existence.

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  18. Amy, a lot of good advice from *stranger-friends*. I am hoping you can verify what you need to on your own...and call it good.
    GRANNY...YOU KNOW I AGREE WITH YOU.
    Hating these people will only cause you (and the kids) pain in the long run...
    Blessings and hugs (and good wishes for things working out!)
    Mare

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  19. My friends ARE wonderful, Mare - those who I have known forever, and those that I have met through blogging.

    I hate very few people in this world. Very few. The exlaws don't even rank that high - at this point, I honestly couldn't care less about them or what they think. All I want is the documentation that was promised to me - that's it. Nothing more.

    It will all work out the way that it is supposed to work out in the end.

    :)
    Amy

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  20. Life is difficult enough without things that can't be controlled, but when someone deliberately makes your life miserable and that "is" in their control....they should be ashamed. When they use their child to do it (as Jeff is obviously doing) they should be tarred and feathered. You don't use kids and you don't deliberately try to make the woman who is doing both her job and "your" job's life more difficult than it has to be. I am so sorry for what you are going through, but remember....karma is a bitch!

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  21. Cmom, it's actually not Jeff himself - it's his family. Sadly, he passed away on February 2 of this year. His family is in total control over the trust fund, if it exists. All I need is a copy of the paperwork or documentation that it doesn't exist.

    ReplyDelete
  22. First I really enjoy reading your blog.:)
    second I understand exactly what you are feeling, I too struggle with ex inlaws who are hurtful and mean while saying they love my kids.I have explained to them the rules they may be a part of there lives as long as they are followed, you dont have to like or respect me (never have) but you will respect the fact that every day I get up and try my best to be a great mom unlike there father who does it when he needs to fee loved.
    To those angry people I say my kids pain is your loss. we have people in our lives who love us and that is what a family is not blood ties.

    At the end of the day even with there cruel words and actions I am the lucky one because I can hug and kiss them any time I want and they will always know love.
    Keep your head up and know you are doing an amazing job.

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  23. You get busy for a few days and all shit hits the fan. You go girl ;)

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  24. i dont understand how some peple can dish otu such disrespect, especially when children are involved in such a way that they are mourning and grieving.
    im sorry you have to go through this, just as im sorry for everyone in his family for having to sort out the emotional oil that lies on the water of pain.
    from what i have read, you are doing the best you can, and you deserve respect and compliance. it takes a village, and unfortunately, there are always a few freakin village idiots. i hope your son doesnt suffer from their actions!

    let it all out, thats why we blog!

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  25. Just found your blog. I hope that the ex-in-laws come around and give you the paperwork you need. And shame on those who post on here swearing and saying hurtful things to you!! Is there anything your lawyer can do? Write a letter demanding information on the trust so that your son can attend preschool and continue getting services he needs? (I have no idea how to go about this, but that's where I'd start.)

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  26. Thank you for the support, everyone. I have to admit that I get nervous when I post these rants - it's not that I expect everyone to back me 100% but it is hard to take the hatefulness and flaming that some choose to dish out.

    I post these not to seek attention, but to hopefully help others who may be in similar situations (and yes, I've received numerous messages from people dealing with things like this, thanking me for posting them). I am not the type of person to seek out conflict - in fact, I generally run and hide from it. However, as time goes on and I work through my own issues, I have come to realize that sometimes I have to speak my mind and deal with the consequences when I do! LOL

    I do appreciate the support and the advice - and I am working to resolve this situation as peacefully as I can. I mailed this letter (and the birthday card) to my ex-mother-in-law on Monday so I am anxious to see if I get the paperwork that I need. If I don't, then I will take the next step in getting it.

    I know that the exlaws are reading every word of this - I just wish that they had been this interested in our lives before it was too late.

    Their loss.

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I have only two rules - don't reveal anyone's personal information, and be respectful. It's not difficult, honest. Now, go on and play.