Bloggy Stuff

I got an email a few days ago, and the more I think about it, the more I want to talk about it.

It included phrases like "revolutionary video summit", "video event", "active community", and "win-win with our existing community". I usually ignore these emails because my life is chaotic enough without having to schedule stuff around my blog, but this one was so happy and upbeat that I thought "oh, what the heck" and I emailed her back and said ok, tell me more.

I got an email back a little while later telling me what I'd need to do to participate in this "revolutionary video summit" as a so-called expert (an expert on what? I don't know.) and there was a list of requirements. A pre-recorded interview. Sending out some emails. Sending out a newsletter. Oh, and did we mention that you have to have at least 5000 people in your email database, but that doesn't count anything that you do on social media?

At this point (after I got done laughing) I sent her an email back saying that while I appreciated the opportunity I would have to pass, as I don't have an email database and everything that I do is on social media. What I didn't say was that even if I did have an email database, the last thing that I'd want to do is spam 5000+ people to beg them to watch me on video. No one wants to see that shiz.

When I started this blog, it was at the urging of one of my friends who at that point said something to the effect of "I bet you could have at least 30 people following you!" - I never expected it to get this far. But thanks to that silly letter, it's gotten way bigger than I anticipated.

In the early days, I went out looking for people to read my stuff. I promoted myself in so many ways that it was downright exhausting. I celebrated each milestone and did everything that I could to get to the next one. The blog that I wrote about food stamps put me on the map, and then the Tooth Fairy blew it out of the water.

The Tooth Fairy letter has been stolen and reposted without being credited back to my page approximately eleventy and a half bajillion times now, and people criticize me for pointing out that it came from my page and asking to be credited for it. "If you don't want the numbers, why do you insist on pointing out that it's yours, you big fat hypocrite?" Well, to be honest, I don't want the numbers - but at the same time I believe in this little thing called intellectual property, and if something isn't your creation, then don't post it as if it is. If the whole Tooth Fairy letter debacle has done anything, it's proven just how fast something can be stolen and spread out of control.

So why am I blogging about how I don't care about how many people read my blog?

Because sometimes I need to remind myself why I even started this thing in the first place. Because when it started, it was just a place to express myself, whether it was to journal about things that we had done that day, to rant about something that pissed me off, to express my feelings over a difficult situation, or to post a dumb picture or story that I felt like sharing. There was no purpose, no rhyme or reason. It was for me, and for whoever decided that they wanted to read it. Period.

Then I started to get worried about what people would think. And so I'd censor myself. I wouldn't write about a certain topic because it might offend someone. Or I wouldn't ramble on about my day because no one would really care about it anyway. But then I went back and I read some of my older posts - posts where I just rambled about the normal day-to-day crap in our lives - and I realized that while it might not be interesting to other people, it was fun for me to go back and read it and remember things.....which is why I started this in the first place. So while I can't guarantee that I'll blog about something fun and exciting every single day, I'm going to make much more of an effort to blog something more regularly.

I mean seriously - I have some fun and exciting stuff (to me, anyway) going on in my life. Between shenanigans with The Dude and/or the kids, getting Mom Cave Designs up and running as a legitimate business, getting myself up and running in a bunch of races, and just life in general - my mind goes a million miles an hour. It's time to stop worrying about what people think and actually put some of these thoughts down in writing so that I can look back at them later.

And if people don't like it, screw 'em.

Random moon photo by Emily, taken when she
snatched my phone while on the way to town
to pick up pizzas and movies.

Randomness.

Just because. I'm in the mood to write, but I can't get my mind to go in one direction, so you're getting random thoughts. I want to get back into the habit of writing regularly, but I'm having issues with it....

So apparently it's Wine Day or something. Like I need an excuse.

OK, that makes me sound like a lush, and I'm really not - but I like wine. And there are days when I'd like nothing better than to kick back with a bottle and just relax and get over the day.

Today is one of those days. So I'm partaking. And I'll hate myself in a few hours when the alarm goes off, but whatever.

I didn't have a good time at the gym this morning. Not that any time spent on the treadmill is necessarily a good time, but today really sucked. I fully intended to do 3-4 miles when I got there and after 2 miles I hit the 'stop' button and quit. I just couldn't do it. But on the flip side, my sole sis and I have really kind of pushed it this week and we're tired. So tomorrow is officially a rest day - at least from running. Not like I'll actually rest....

I haven't been writing. I miss it. I have tons of things that I want to write about, but I have a million reasons excuses why I haven't written lately. The ridiculous Tooth Fairy Letter made a ridiculous comeback and as usual, the haters came out of the woodwork to remind me yet again what a horrible mother I am. And yeah, as much as I try not to let it get to me the comments still sting a bit. There were a few that really got under my skin, and I might address them at some point. Or not. Haven't decided on that one yet.

Things with Mom Cave Designs have been gaining speed. That's a good thing. Getting weighted blankets out to people that need them has been amazing and enlightening and overwhelming and eye-opening, among other things. I love that I'm able to do it. I really do. I have ideas and plans and all sorts of fun stuff in my head but I just haven't had time to put them into action yet. I need an assistant. An assistant with deep pockets would be great, but for now I'd just take any old assistant.

The weather right now is awesome here in the middle of the country. I'll take shorts and bare feet in February and not complain about it.

Life is good. Life is really good. There are so many things going on right now and I can't even begin to explain all of them. For real.

And finally, cancer sucks. Seriously. Cancer sucks ass. I'm sick and tired of it taking the good guys. Just for once, I'd like to see it take one of the assholes - but no. Not today. Today, it took one of the good guys. He was an acquaintance, a facebook friend, a fellow alumni from my high school - not a "friend" per se, but still.....it sucks. RIP, Dave.

And with that.....I'm done for tonight. I'm going to try to write on a more semi-regular basis again.......but "try" is the operative word here. Life is crazy. We'll see what happens.

EMILY HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.

This is Emily, or as many of you know, "My dearest Emily." Yes, I'm talking about that stupid Tooth Fairy Letter. I sure have a lot to say about this, so brace yourself and get ready to read it all.

Now, this letter was written to me when I was eleven years old. Eleven!! I wasn't six. I hate to break it to everyone, but, I no longer believed in the Tooth Fairy. I had stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy around age seven, having an older sister, this was reasonable.

When I woke up the morning of the letter arrival, it was taped to our bedroom mirror, a place we were bound to find it. I got out of bed, walked over to the mirror, read the letter, tore it off, and put it on a shelf that was close to my door. I didn't talk to Mom about the letter until I had woken up a little more and had eaten breakfast. I went back into my room and grabbed the letter. Laughing at how incredibly dumb the letter seemed for an eleven year old, I took the letter out into the living room and showed it to Mom.

"Really Mom?" I said, obviously not impressed with the now infamous Tooth Fairy letter.

All she said was, "Gonna clean your room?"

"Maybe," I say, walking into my room, wondering where to start on the disaster we called a bedroom. After many, many hours of cleaning a room, basketball practice, and many other distractions, the room was cleaned. That night, I went to bed, like any normal eleven year old would. The next morning, I did have a dollar under my pillow. We went on with life just like before.

Until, one day, a few months after the disaster bedroom incident, Mom was on her computer and I walked over to her and said in these exact words, "Hey Mom, I know you made that Tooth Fairy Letter famous."

I'm pretty sure she almost fainted. In case anyone is wondering how I know about everything, I will admit, I was a nosy person. Being eleven, I had a fascination with anything and everything Mom was doing on the computer. I would look over her shoulder and on more than one occasion, the Letter would pop up. I would read just enough of it to know what was going on with it, until Mom would go to a different website or tab or whatever. I had known about the letter going viral for probably a month or so. I never did tell anyone though, because that would mean admitting my nosiness.

Mom asked me how much I knew. And I told her. I didn't know very much at the time, just enough to know what was happening. She showed me some of the blogs, posts, comments (rude, funny, nice, everything), and some different websites where the Letter was featured. I read all about it for close to an hour, getting the full story.

And I was shocked. The comments!! "This is emotional violence," "She will need therapy after this," "You are a horrible parent," "You are f***ing up her childhood." Really!?!? In case you guys can't tell, I thought this letter was a dumb, but working, way to get me to clean my room. I didn't need therapy, but I think I should after reading all those comments.

Everyone listen up, the Letter was stupid. It wasn't "emotional violence." It was ridiculous. I thought it was funny, but half the country thinks Mom is evil, abusive, cold, manipulative, lazy, etc. If you ask me, she is definitely the opposite of everything on that list. 

Since the initial blow up of The Tooth Fairy Letter, I've followed along with Mom and have laughed with her at all of the people who think that I am needing therapy now for "such a ruined childhood."

Judging by this blog post, I think I turned out alright. I am not emotionally scarred. I am perfectly happy. 

Thank you for reading!!!

-Emily

Keyboard Warriors

So last night, that silly Tooth Fairy letter resurfaced in a really big way. A page on facebook with almost 4 million fans posted it, but of course - without the backstory. Without a link back to my page or my blog. Without my permission.

It happens all the time. All the time. I should be used to it by now, and for the most part I do ignore it. I'll read a few comments, throw the link to my blog up there, and let it go.

This time was different. This time, the comments were mean. Hateful. Judgmental. Way worse than usual. Sure, there were a few positive ones, but they were quickly buried under the ones touting my inept parenting skills.

Of course, since the letter wasn't credited to me, people didn't know who they were insulting. They sat there behind their keyboards, casting stones at someone who wrote a letter to an 11 year old girl as a joke. Even after they read the blog post, they continued.

Emotional violence. She should be ashamed. What a horrible mother. That woman doesn't even deserve to have her kids. She should take parenting classes.

The ones that hurt the most were the ones who insinuated that I was a horrible person for raising my kids in a broken home:

(This thread of comments on the post has since been deleted. I think.)

Broken home. No father figure.

The last thing that I ever wanted was for my family to not be "normal" with a mother and father and kids. I never planned to get divorced, and certainly didn't plan to do it twice. I fought like hell to keep it together, to keep it from being broken, and so I stayed.

But staying wasn't worth it. Staying wasn't safe, for me or for the kids. We had to get out. I had to "break" our home in order to keep them safe. I had to get them away from the violence.

Yes, we lived in an "icky" house for 3 1/2 years. But that icky house meant more to me than just about any other place we've lived. I learned more about myself in that house than ever before.

I know that the hate and the judgment and the Mommy Wars will never stop. As long as there is an internet, there will be keyboard warriors who get their panties in a wad and think that they are better than everyone else and believe that they are entitled to pass judgment on other people without knowing the background. It's never going to stop.

I tell my kids all the time - you can't stop other people from being jerks, but you can certainly control your own reaction to it.

Same thing applies to adults. Don't feed into the anger or the hate or the judgment - it's not worth it.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of the same thing.

You asked.....

Just in case you don't follow me on facebook, every now and then I ask people on there to ask me questions, and then I answer them in a blog post. I did that tonight, and this is what they asked me:

Michael asked: why are you so damn awesome? 

Ha. I'm not. The people who read this blog - they are the awesome ones. I just blab and ramble about my normal life, which is totally NOT awesome, but the interactions with the people who read it are what make it all worth it. THEY are the awesome ones, not me.

Erica asked: How do you feel about the tooth fairy letters fame? (I love it btw and will totally use it with my kiddos) 

Honestly, I hate it. I seriously wrote that thing in about 30 seconds and never expected anything to come of it, but it did. And it keeps resurfacing. And I keep getting bashed for it, even though Emily thought that it was funny. But, it is what it is and I can't change it now. So when I see it posted somewhere, I link my blog posts about it in the comments and just let it go - I honestly try not to follow it because more times than not, I'm getting bashed for my parenting skills over one piece of paper floating around the internet.

Michelle asked: Are you freaking out about Monday? I have faith 

Yes and no. I honestly think that the thing that I'm the most worried about is that The Dude is taking on so much responsibility with my kids. The job scares me, yes. The hours scare me, yes. But I know that this is going to be such a huge change for my family, and that scares me more than anything. However, this has come at the most perfect time, and too many things are falling into place at the right time so I can't ignore them. I have to go for it.

Jennifer asked: What are some of the worst things you've seen at work? I want details! (well, not too many details.. but, ya know)

I honestly think that the bare crotch coming through the drive-thru was the worst. Seriously, I can't get that one out of my head. Cover yourselves, people!

Lavinia asked: why is life more complicated than it has to be?

That, my friend, is the million dollar question. But at the same time, I think that people tend to make things more difficult than they need to be. Life is life - whatever is going to happen is going to happen,  and most of the time there is nothing that we can do to change it. Roll with the punches, don't worry about what might happen and deal with it as it comes. One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one second at a time - do what needs to be done to get through the moment, and then deal with the rest as it happens.

Bianca asked: Favourite movies? Two categories: with the kids, just you (or you'n'The Dude). 

For me alone, I can watch just about anything except for sci-fi/fantasy types. I'm a sucker for a good horror flick (yes, even alone) but I also love the typical "chick flicks", dramas, comedies, whatever. When it's me and The Dude, we tend to watch more zombie movies (his choice, but I deal with it) or whatever looks good. He's awesome though, and will willingly sit through a chick flick if that's what I'm in the mood to watch.

Heather asked: How do you manage to do all that you do on so little sleep?!? Because I am cranky butthole without it!!!

At this point in my life, it's just become normal for me. Ever since I split from Ex1 almost 9 years ago, I've lived on very little sleep. Right after we separated, I was working full-time plus a part-time job, and I just got used to it. I run so much during the day and evening that the only time that I have time for myself is at night after the kids go to bed. I know that it's not the best situation for me, so when I finally crash and sleep for 12+ hours at a time, I don't fight it much. Caffeine is my friend.

Maria asked: With how long you an the dude have been together do you think marriage is a possability ever?

We have officially been together for just over 20 months (wait, how did THAT happen?) and while I can easily see spending the rest of my life with him, I just can't see myself getting married again. I did that twice, and I got burned - badly - both times. I know that he's different, but at this point, no, I can't see myself married again. For me, emotionally, it's too big of a risk, and yes, I'm a wuss when it comes to that - and I freely admit it. I love him with all my heart - no doubt about it - but I don't want to get married.

And actually, I had to go digging but there are posts here and here that go into way more detail about that. Check those out if you haven't before.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So that's that for tonight. I haven't looked back at my page in the past few minutes, so if there are more questions, I will answer them on a different night.

If you want to see a perfect parent...

....you'd better not be looking at me.

The Tooth Fairy letter got posted on another page today. And as usual, the haters came out to play.

Usually it doesn't bother me. I've heard pretty much all of it. But this time, they were a little more harsh than usual. I was called some pretty colorful names, and was my parenting ever questioned this time!

But you know what? As much as it annoyed me, it got me thinking.

People are so quick to judge other parents. But why? Are there any perfect parents out there?

I'm not perfect. I freely admit that on a regular basis. My kids aren't perfect either.

I curse in front of my kids. Not all the time, but it happens.
My house isn't perfectly clean. Sometimes, it's downright disgusting.
I usually manage to get a shower every day - but not always.
My kids' rooms are usually a mess.
I spank my kids when they need it - but it's not often.
We eat more junk food than we should.
Sometimes we eat out because I just don't feel like doing the dishes.
The kids probably get away with more mischief than they should.
I don't keep everyone on a set schedule, and I don't always enforce bedtime.
Sometimes I have to bribe my kids to get things done around the house.
I sometimes breathe a sigh of relief when they aren't home, and maybe enjoy the peace and quiet a little more than I should - and I don't always feel guilty about it.

People don't always agree with my parenting style, and that's ok. I was raised by parents who were significantly older than most parents of kids my age and I grew up in an age when a parent could backhand an unruly kid in the middle of the grocery store without anyone else batting an eye. I'm not scarred for life by how I was raised - in fact, I think it made me a better person in the end (although it took me a very long time to admit that).

Who would have thought that such
a silly letter would cause so much
of an uproar???

But for all of my perceived failures as a parent, I think that my kids are turning out pretty darned good. They are all above-average students and for the most part they're pretty well-behaved (although they all have their moments). And I sincerely believe that part of that is because their parents don't put up with any crap. We are not the type of parents (me, their fathers, their stepmothers, The Dude) to coddle our kids and protect them from every single little thing and give them participation trophies just for showing up. They have responsibilities, and if they don't do them, there are consequences, period.

There are no perfect parents. People need to remember that once in a while - especially before they run their mouths and judge someone else's parenting based on a random letter floating around the internet.

So what does Emily think of the Tooth Fairy letter?

It's been almost 6 months since I posted that silly letter to Emily from the Tooth Fairy. And today she surprised me by saying "hey Mom, I know you made that Tooth Fairy letter famous".

I about fell over, because I didn't think that she knew about the uproar that was caused by it.

I asked her how she knew about it, and she said that she saw it on my computer one day. I asked her if she had read the blog and she said no, so I showed it to her. She knew that I had it, but had never really paid attention to it before. I showed her where I had initially posted the letter and the reaction that it got there. We looked through some of the shares of it and I showed her where it had been posted on BuzzFeed, and I showed her some of the nasty comments too.

Her reaction?

"You mean people thought that it was bad? I've known that you were the Tooth Fairy since I was about 6 years old!"

I told her that people told me she'd be scarred for life because of it, and she rolled her eyes at me.

So yeah. For all of the people who think that the Tooth Fairy letter was such a horrible thing to do to my kid...... she's rolling her eyes at you, too.

So I was walking to work...

Since both of our vehicles are dead, I've been walking back and forth to work a lot over the past couple of weeks. I don't always go the same way - but I made sure to go a certain way today specifically to get pictures of this.

Doesn't look so bad from here...

Then as you get a little closer, you realize exactly what is going on...

Yes, that is a dog - doing its best to scare the living crap out of anyone who walks past its 6' tall privacy fence.

The first time I walked through here, I had my head down and my headphones on, and all of a sudden there was really loud barking and growling coming from above my head. I'm pretty sure that if someone filmed it, they are very rich right now because I squealed and jumped and just about ran, thinking that I was about to get attacked. There are at least 2 dogs in that fence, and they throw a royal fit every time I walk past - because of course I keep forgetting about them and so I keep walking past them. Like an idiot.

Just a few blocks away from the psycho-dogs, I get to walk past some Kansas skyscrapers.

Hopefully, today was the last day that I have to walk for a while. The Dude *thinks* that he has the truck fixed, but I refuse to believe it until I actually see it for myself - because I just know the way that our luck runs. I did manage to hitch a ride home after work with a coworker, so that was nice. And a friend took the boys to school for me this morning - and that was a huge help.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In other news.....in case you didn't catch it on my facebook page, it appears that the Tooth Fairy has to make another visit. Luckily, a letter isn't necessary this time around since the boys don't seem to trash their room as much as the girls do.

Now I have to go throw a load of laundry in the washer so that I have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow....and I think I'm actually going to try to get to bed at a reasonable hour again because for whatever reason, my allergies are kicking my butt. Blah.

My chariot...and other random thoughts.

Since my van is officially dead - to the tune of $2300 to replace a blown head gasket (ha! right!) - it's sitting in my driveway until we figure out what to do with it. I refuse to panic about it yet - I did enough of that  yesterday. Today I started making phone calls to figure out ways to do it cheaper than that - and I will not panic again until all of my possibilities are exhausted. It's not worth the panic. There are bigger problems in the world. This is just a hiccup.

(Yes, I'm trying to convince myself of that as well.)

Anyway, since The Dude is out of town for an extended playdate with his buddies, he handed over the keys to his truck. It isn't pretty, and I can be heard from miles away, but right now it gets us where we need to go.....

Yes, we have reverted to the days of lap belts and actually rolling down the windows. There is nothing computerized or electronic about this baby - and that's ok with me.

We will use the chariot to get us to a 5K tomorrow - Emily and I are running. Well, she's running, and I'm probably walking since I haven't done anything to get ready for it. Life has just been too hectic lately. I'm bummed, but at least I'm still getting out there to do it. And no matter how slow I go, I'm still lapping everyone on the couch.

I have to remind myself of that next weekend when I do the half-marathon. Whoops.

.....speaking of Emily......

For crying out loud, people. The Tooth Fairy letter surfaced again today. People just need to get over themselves and stop armchair parenting other people's kids. Seriously. The pages who shared it were awesome - and they made sure that I got credit for it (which is more than the majority of pages who shared it did) but the people who commented on it - WOW. Most of the insults were aimed at me, which is fine. But there were a few who insinuated that my kid was lazy, or disrespectful, or whatever. Don't get me wrong - my kids are far from perfect, but I will not put up with strangers badmouthing them when they don't even know my kids. And so, to those people I say..... judgmental people suck.

Finally....I know that I've been sharing THIS POST a bunch. But it's really really important. Read it. Share it. Please. And notice the challenge - because as of right now, no one is going to see ME in a moomoo and mohawk. If you want to change that, the only way is to donate more money. Take that couple of bucks that you were going to spend on your next cup of overpriced coffee and donate it to a good cause. Seriously. It doesn't take much to add up to something big. And that something big could be a cure.

It must suck to be so scarred.

Remember how people were telling me that Emily was going to be scarred for life because of the Tooth Fairy letter?

Spelling bee - 15 kids competed and she was in until
the next-to-last round.

What a horrible, awful, scarred child. 

It all just goes back to my belief that judgmental people suck - and I think that it's funny that so many people said that the letter was the worst thing that I ever could have done to her - because I'm pretty sure that it's not.

Judgmental people suck

Yep. I'm about to take off on a rant here.

Just over a year ago, I wrote a post about judgmental people and what I thought about them. There have been so many things that have come up in my life in the past week or so and they've really just been kind of eating at me. I told The Dude tonight that I didn't think that there would ever come a time that I would need to blog, but right now, I need to do it. I need to get this crap out of my head.

I'm going to warn you right now....I'm currently typing this at about eleventy bajillion words per minute - literally just spewing it out to get it out of my head and try to make some sense of it. So if it doesn't make sense, well, I don't know what to tell you.

About a week and a half ago or so, I wrote the post on my thoughts on marriage and how I believe that everyone should have that right. I am very happy to say that 100% of the comments on both the blog post and on my facebook page were positive - and I really expected to get some negative backlash from that one. So that made me happy. Even when I changed the cover photo on my facebook page, no one said anything negative. And for that, y'all rock.

I changed my profile photo on my personal profile too, and most of the response that I got was positive. I got involved in a few discussions, but didn't really get into any arguments about it and for that I was thankful. I was saddened to see a few closed-minded people continue to use the "Bible argument" and try to force their own religion onto others despite that whole 'freedom of religion' thing in this country, but I also know that some people will never change. And that's ok, because just like me they are free to believe whatever they want to believe.

So in that department, the Judgy McJudgersons behaved themselves.

But elsewhere....

A friend called me the other day. She runs another page on facebook, and she was telling me that she had posted something on her page about being stressed because she was going to have extra kids around for a few days. Apparently, someone commented on her status and told her something to the effect of (and I am massively paraphrasing here) 'you shouldn't complain because Non-Stop Mom does it on her own all of the time' or something like that.

Honestly, that really bugged me the more that I thought about it. I don't ever want anyone to think that my life is so horrible or stressful or depressing or whatever that I have to be admired for getting through it. It's my life, people. It is what it is, period.

Think about it. I'm a single mom. Yes, that's stressful. Yes, it makes some things harder than it does for parents who have a spouse. But you know what? I'm single by choice. I choose to be a single mom. I didn't choose it when it happened, but I sure as heck choose it now. Yes, I have The Dude and I love him with all of my heart and soul and I fully intend to torture him for the rest of our lives be with him for a very long time - but I choose not to be married to him. There are a lot of reasons there and I've talked about some of them before but regardless, I'm a single mom by choice.

Hopefully, as we continue house hunting, we'll be living together within a few months and although we will not be married, he'll be around to help more. Until then, it's ok. Really.

My schedule is crazy. We all know that. But you know what? It's crazy by choice too. I allow my kids to participate in as many activities as they can because I think that (to a point) it's good for them. I want them to be active and involved and to enjoy life as much as possible. I could seriously simplify my schedule by just saying no to a few after school activities - but I choose to do them. And that's ok.

I could also simplify my schedule by just not taking on so many projects at one time. But you know what? By making the choice not to work right now, I can also make the choice to be more involved in other stuff. Important stuff. And so I run myself ragged. I like to stay busy. It's my choice. And that's ok.

So I don't sleep very much. You know what? A lot of that's by choice too. I don't get a lot of time to myself during the day, so I stay up late playing on the computer and blogging and doing whatever I feel like doing for a few hours. Should I do it all of the time? Probably not. Have I been getting better about it? Somewhat. But again, it's my choice. And it's ok too.

Another area where the Judgy McJudgersons have been out in full force is that silly Tooth Fairy letter. Holy crap, people. Seriously? It's still appearing in random places and it seems like the farther out we get from the original posting of it in January, the more hateful people get. For real. I saw it on 3 different facebook pages today, and holy crapola the hate and venom and ........ mean, judgmental people were just unreal. I couldn't believe it. There are so many people out there who are willing to call me a horrible mother ... mean ... nasty ... evil ... the worst parent ever ... bitch ... that I'm scarring my kids for life (that one still kind of amuses me) ... that I'm lying to my kids ... that I'm lazy ... Seriously, you name the insult, and I bet I've read it in regards to that letter.

But you know what? I can take it. It really doesn't bother me that much. But then I sit back and think - if people are so willing to judge a random unknown parent by one single random piece of paper that's circulating around the internet with absolutely no context whatsoever - what kind of judgments are they passing on people who are actually in their lives? What are they saying about their kids' teachers, or their own siblings, or their neighbors, or the homeless guy that they pass every morning on their way to work? What do these people think of themselves? How is it that they feel qualified to judge someone unknown to them based on one tiny little momentary glimpse into that person's life?

Honestly, what gives anyone the right to judge anyone else? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that being judgmental is a learned trait - and most of the time, kids pick that up from their parents and other adults in their lives. Think about that the next time you feel like spouting off some line of judgy crap about someone in front of your kid, and then go one step farther and think about how you would feel if you were the person being judged.

Trust me, being judged sucks. It really does. That I can tell you from experience.

The Tooth Fairy strikes again

I don't know what it is with my kids and the Tooth Fairy, but I pulled this little gem out of Daniel's backpack a few days ago.

It would appear that after the whole Tooth Fairy letter fiasco, I just can't seem to get away from her.

I kind of think that I should get a double picture frame and put both of them in it, just for the heck of it - but the kids might think that's kind of weird. Instead, they'll both stay safely tucked away in the filing cabinet.

I just had a feeling that anyone who saw that letter might get a kick out of the picture.

I'm wired. And I have hand grenades. And candy.

It's been another crazy day around here. Not so much in the physical-here, but in the blogosphere-here.

In bloggy news, I was contacted yesterday (was it yesterday? I think it was yesterday...) by a gentleman by the name of Roy Wood who writes for wired.com. He wanted to write an article about the Tooth Fairy letter and so we emailed back and forth a few times and talked about the specifics. I told a few friends about it, and they all had pretty much the same reaction.

"OMG DO YOU REALIZE HOW BIG THIS CAN BE?!?!?!?!"

Uh, apparently I didn't.

I can honestly say that before yesterday, I never even looked at that website.

I'm looking now.

Mr. Wood published his article this morning and emailed me with the link to it. I didn't realize it right away because for whatever reason, my phone has decided to quit notifying me about emails from that particular account. When I got the email from him with the link, I immediately went to read it and was really happy with what he had to say. Even the nasty comment that another reader had left didn't bother me. So I went and posted the link to his article on both my facebook page and my personal profile.

A little while later I figured I'd check the stats on my blog and see what was happening.

There might have been some hyperventilating involved at that point. Today was probably the third highest day for traffic on my blog since I started it over 2 years ago.

And it blows my mind. Seriously. When I wrote that letter, I expected nothing to come of it. Maybe a few giggles here and there. I'm amazed that it's still floating around out there and that people (for the most part) still like it.

But the increased traffic is stressful for me in a way. I've said it before - this blog has been so small for so long and I was used to that and comfortable with that. Getting this much attention is a bit unnerving. It makes me question where I want to go with it (I'm still pretty much dead-set against advertising) and if I'm good enough to keep going with it. I don't pop off with things like the Tooth Fairy letter or the food stamp post or the Boy Scout post very often and those are what have brought the majority of people here. But if they're looking for that on a regular basis, they're going to be waiting for a while and will have to tolerate stories about my kids and my crazy days and mountains of laundry and stuff like that in the meantime.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to keep on going the way that I have been for the last 2+ years. I don't know where I'll end up, but I'll just keep plugging along.

I had this discussion with The Dude tonight. We took Daniel and went out to eat and then did a little bit of shopping after so that I could get some stuff for a project, plus a few odds and ends that I needed wanted. My next project includes hand grenades, candy, yarn, and glue.

Because those are the ingredients needed for the perfect Easter surprise for the kids. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Don't worry - you'll see them when they're done. Unless they're an epic fail.

Not exactly what I had planned...

OK, seriously, when your day starts off with a sunrise like this, what can possibly go wrong? Really?

Wrong question to ask.

My plans for the day were fairly simple.

Get the kids to school. Come home and clean and whatnot. Get the kids from school. Make supper. Have The Dude come over and watch the kids for about 2 hours while I go to a meeting. Come home. Hang out. Put kids in bed.

Easy, right?

HA!

I got the kids to school. I came home and putzed around and didn't do much of anything for a while.

Then, it happened.....*cue ominous music*

The Dude called me from work to ask me to bring some ibuprofen or something to him because his back was hurting. I had just gotten a shower so I finished getting ready and ran across town to give him the medicine. I could tell that he was hurting - badly. But he had to wait for his boss to get there before he could leave so I came back home.

He called me again a little later. And it's one of those calls that no one ever wants to get.

"Babe, can you come and get me and take me to the ER? I can barely breathe because it hurts so bad."

I took off and got him from work and he was miserable. We got to the hospital and it was all he could do to walk in the door. It was busy but luckily they got him in fairly quickly - and then we waited. I had to leave to get the boys from school so I took off across town. As I was driving, I called a friend of mine to see if she could watch the boys for a couple of hours, and luckily she agreed so I told her that I would be there as soon as I got them. I hung up and called Ex1 to explain what was happening and to ask him if he could just keep the older three kids instead of bringing them to me, and he agreed. I got the boys, dumped them at my friend's house, and got back to the hospital about 30 minutes after I had left.

He had gotten the xrays done by that time and was even more miserable than when I left him half an hour earlier. The doctor came back and said that things looked ok on the xrays and that it did not appear that his lung was collapsed (wait, what? you mean you thought that was a possibility???) and that it was a severe thoracic strain and the muscles were spasming. He got a couple of shots in the butt and a handful of prescriptions, and we left.

I dropped off the prescriptions and then we went back to his work to drop off the doctor's note and to lock up his truck since we were leaving it there, and then I took him back home and poured him into his bed. Then I left to go back to pick up the prescriptions and bring those back to him.

At that point I realized that if I rushed I could still make the meeting that I had planned to go to, so I raced home and changed my clothes and went to the meeting. While I was there, Ex1 called to let me know that Emily had forgotten some stuff she needed for school but not to worry about getting it to her since she was the one who forgot it. We touched base about a few other things and then I went back to the meeting.

After the meeting, I went to my friend's to pick up the boys, back over to The Dude's house to get some money, ran out to get him some food, and then took the food to him - and then finally got the boys home. They ate a late supper and fell asleep on the couch.

Emily texted me about the stuff that she forgot - apparently the lines of communication got crossed and she thought that I was bringing it to her tonight. I talked to her and Ex1 and we decided that there was no way I was doing it tonight (25 miles round trip at bedtime for the boys? I think not...) but I would bring it out in the morning after I drop the boys off - but only because if things hadn't been so crazy tonight she would have been able to get it and would have had it for tomorrow.

And then to top it all off.....

I had gotten a message while all of this was happening that the blankity-blank-blank Tooth Fairy letter had been posted on cheezburger(dot)com. I didn't worry about it too much at the time because, well......I was busy. I looked into it tonight, and sure enough it's on there - under the "Parenting Fails". And yeah, that bugs me. It was just a silly letter, and it's totally being taken out of context and it's driving me nuts. And I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

But it's also a good reminder that judgmental people suck.

Randomness.

~~ I don't know how long it's been since I've been out for a run, but it's about to kill me. I need to get out and get moving again for so many reasons. However, I made the mistake of yanking on what I thought was a tiny little piece of dead skin on my big toe, and *ouch* - instant hangnail/swelling/pain. So I've been babying that thing like crazy trying to get it to heal because right now it hurts to even put a shoe on that foot. But, it's getting there. Another couple of days, maybe.

~~ I really need to remember to take the trash out tonight. And to dump all of the *ahem* leftovers-disguised-as-science-experiments out of the fridge first.

~~I can really make a mess when I cook. But my philosophy is that the bigger the mess, the better the food. And yes, the food was good last night. The mess was all that was left of it by the time we were done.

~~ Another reason to get out and start running again is because I am determined to do the half-marathon again this year - and to significantly reduce my time (not just by a few seconds again). I want to do it in under 3 hours this time, and I will do anything in my power to make that happen. I have until May 5 to get ready for it...but I need to get registered before the end of the month.

~~ That silly letter from the Tooth Fairy now has 3000 shares off of my page alone on facebook. 3000 shares. Really? Of course, I've also found about 10 different radio stations that have swiped it and posted it as their own and gotten hundreds (if not thousands) of shares on it as well. It just blows my mind.

~~ I find it kind of funny when people tell me that they admire me for "keeping it all together all the time". If they only knew how chaotic things really get around here.....they would change that opinion really quickly. My kids are far from being perfect kids, and I am far from being a perfect mother - but somehow we make it work, most of the time.

~~ I really hate this house. I hate it more and more every day.....as I pull on a second pair of socks to keep my toes warm. I can not wait to get us moved out of here and into a better place.

~~I wonder if the ghost will move with us when we do find a new place.

~~ I really wish that I would have wiped that gigantic glob of spilled toothpaste off of the front of the bathroom sink when I saw it earlier. But on the plus side, my dirty laundry now smells minty fresh and I have on a clean pair of sweatpants.

~~I just realized when I looked at the ticker on here that I have been smoke-free for 6 months. Woot!

~~I still have a million things that I need to get done tonight, and I'm not getting any of them done while I'm sitting here complaining about having to get them done.



Brain dump complete. Carry on.

The now infamous Tooth Fairy letter.

Holy crap.

That's about all I can say right now. Had I known what would happen when I posted a picture of a letter that the Tooth Fairy wrote to Emily at about 1:00 this morning, I might have thought twice. Or not.

The letter.

I thought that a few people would get a chuckle out of it, and that would be it. Now, here I sit less than 24 hours later....and there are almost 1900 likes on it on facebook and it has been shared almost the same number of times. More than 300 new people have come to my facebook page and have 'liked' that as well.

Really? It was just a silly letter to try to get my kid to clean her room.

I would say that well over 99% of the comments that I received and/or saw on other pages were positive - something that shocks me. It seems like even the most innocent share can trigger the haters and trolls to come out of the woodwork - so I got really nervous when I saw the numbers exploding after I posted it.

There were a few questions raised, and rather than attempt to answer them through comments on facebook, I figured I'd just address them all here. It's easy. And I might have a lazy streak in me at times.

The most common question related to the "bodies" in the bed. Yes, Emily is 11 years old, so no, there are no boys in her bed (unless one of her brothers sneaks in there during the night). The only other live body was that of her 13 year old sister, who insists on sleeping in the bottom bunk with Emily more often than not. And it irritates me to no end - whenever they sleep in the same bed, they end up fighting over the covers or who kicked who in the face or whose breath stinks the worst or whatever. So I hate when they sleep in the same bed. Plus, there were several inanimate bodies in the bed as well as a bunch of extra pillows and covers and all sorts of crap that made it next to impossible to find the tooth pillow under her pillow.

Tooth pillow. What's a tooth pillow? I saw that comment somewhere. If you look at this post you can see a picture of the tooth pillow. I got it when I was little, and the kids have all used it. It makes it much easier for the Tooth Fairy to find the tooth under the pillow in the bed if it's in this, and then the money gets stuck in the pocket so that it doesn't get lost either.

One comment that really kind of ticked me off annoyed me caught my eye was on one of the shares, where someone said something to the effect of me being a horrible mother, and my kid was going to be scarred for life. Uh huh. Whatever. I'm pretty sure that not getting her buck for her tooth until her room is clean is going to put her in therapy. Get over it.

There was another that wanted to know why she had to ask THE MOTHER and not THE FATHER. Too bad that was on a share too, so I couldn't comment and tell that person that there is no father in this house. I'm a single mom. I have The Dude, but he doesn't live here, and he's not their father. That one kind of bugged me too, but I just chalked it up to someone not being familiar with the story.

Probably the most common question was "did it work?"

Before

The answer to that is yes. And no.

Let me start off by saying that I do take responsibility for some of the mess in this room. We rearranged a month or two ago, and I had to take some of their shelves off of the wall in order to do it, and things kept distracting me and I didn't get the shelves put back up. And well, it's hard to put things away when the shelves aren't there. However, that has nothing to do with the dirty laundry all over the floor, or the garbage in general that was spread out all over the place.

They definitely started out strong. They got in there and they really started working. I got the shelves put back up (busted out some power tools to do it too...hehehe) and got some other shelves anchored to the wall and they got a lot of stuff put away. We had to stop to take Sarah to the school for open gym, and then we came back and worked some more, and then we had to stop again to take Emily to the school for basketball practice, so we kept getting distracted.

During

I thought that things were going really well in there, and it was starting to look really good, but then they dug into a huge tub (the green one in the 'before' picture) that was full of old artwork. It had been stored in cardboard boxes before, but the boxes got broken down over time and so we tossed everything into this tub. And they dug it all out and started going through it, so more of a mess was created. But, we got rid of a bunch of it, so that will help in the long run.

So yes, it worked to a point. The room is not clean by any stretch of the imagination, but they put in a good effort. So I may go ahead and allow the Tooth Fairy to come back tonight - especially since they'll be at their father's house for the next couple of nights. However, considering that it's after 11:00 and I can still hear them, I may cancel it again tonight.


Now....for something really funny. While Sarah was at open gym, I took the other 4 kids to the convenience store to get drinks. I left Emily and the boys in the van and went in to get what we needed, and then realized that I didn't ask her what she wanted. So I went back out to the van with drinks for me and the boys, and sent her into the store to get something for herself. She came out with a bottle of Jones soda.

If you're not familiar with Jones soda, they have little sayings under their caps. Keep in mind that we got these in the middle of the cleaning spree - and this is what Emily got:

(*Edited to add: In case you're wondering about how Emily has handled the hubbub around the letter, read this post - especially if you're one of the people who has something negative to say about it.)

(*Edited again regarding the hateful comments and judgment that I've received about this thing.)

(**Edited again to add: Emily has written her own post about this thing. If you'd like to read that - and you should - you need to click here.)

Where's the Tooth Fairy?

So here's the story....

Last week, when I went to the dentist, they called the oral surgeon and scheduled the appointment for me. I was standing right there. I heard her schedule it. And confirm it. And she wrote it down on the surgeon's card and handed it to me. She even asked them how much it was going to cost while I was standing there.

So the appointment was for 10:15 this morning. It was about a 30 mile drive, so The Dude and I left here around 9:30 just to be safe. We got there, I panicked a bit, and he got me in the door. I gave the lady my name, and she looked confused. Then she asked for my birthdate. And then for which doctor I was seeing. And then I handed her the appointment card.

I wasn't on the schedule. They didn't have me on their schedule. How does that happen???

She handed me the paperwork anyway, and we sat down and filled it all out and I handed it back to her, but she still said nothing about whether or not they were actually going to see me today. After a short wait, I was called back to the exam room. I grabbed The Dude and made him go with me, because there was no way that I was going alone.

We got back there and she proceeded to tell me that they were going to squeeze me in - unless I wanted to be sedated. If I wanted to be sedated, then they'd have to reschedule me because they just didn't have time. I knew at that moment that I was going to go through complete and utter hell, but I told her to just do it because if I walked out of that office today, I wasn't coming back.

So the dentist/surgeon walked in, introduced himself, and *bam* got to work - after he figured out that he was about to pull the wrong tooth. Yeah, there was a typo somewhere and he asked if he was pulling one on the left and I about freaked and showed him which one it was. Things were not starting off well at all. The initial shots to numb it weren't bad, until he got to the one on the roof of my mouth, where I pretty much lost it and started crying. Cripes, I hate when I do that. But he left to give it time to work, and The Dude stood there and held my hand and talked to me until I calmed down, and then it was time.

The procedure itself was brutal. Absolutely brutal. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to sugarcoat it. He worked extremely quickly - almost too quick for my taste - and I white-knuckled my way through it. He warned me at one point that I was going to hear cracking....yeah, I'm sorry, that wasn't "cracking" - that was the most horrible sound that I've ever heard in my life, and it was coming from MY mouth. The pressure was incredible, the pain was intense (he did ask at one point if it hurt, but didn't even pause to hear my answer), and the sounds were unbelievable.

I'm not sure how long it took. Maybe 30 minutes? By that time I couldn't even think straight. I know he had to put a few stitches in on the side of my gum, but those are supposed to dissolve so I don't have to go back. He gave all of the instructions and the prescription (yes, I accepted a prescription for pain pills this time) to The Dude, and then looked at me and said something to the effect of "maybe you should consider being put under next time". I really wanted to snap back and say "maybe you should have put me on the schedule this time so that could have happened" but I couldn't form the words.

So I paid and we left. And I cried. It hurt so much and I was so upset by the whole scheduling debacle and this did absolutely nothing to help with the fear of dental work.

The Dude drove me home and then went and got my prescription filled and picked up some lunch for us - mashed potatoes for me! And I took a pain pill and we started to watch a movie...but when the couch started spinning I decided that it was time to lay down for a while. I napped while he watched the movie and then went and got the boys from school. He had to go into work for a few hours, so I'm going to make something for the boys to eat and get them into bed and then become one with the loveseat until he comes back from work. I'm still in an  unreal amount of pain, so I plan on drugging myself up really good tonight after he gets back since he can stay with me tonight - maybe if I drug up enough tonight, I can get ahead of the pain.

On the plus side, I'm not *too* swollen (right side) so he
must have done something right.

The Dude, the Tooth Fairy, and a Redneck Santa

Sounds like a bad sitcom, doesn't it?

Just to make it interesting, let's throw in a Vomit Rocket and a ride on the Poop Train.

Yeah, it's been one of those days.

It started out well enough. The Dude came over and we went on our major grocery shopping trip to prepare for our Christmas Eve feast. Now, let me remind you, I *hate* to shop. Seriously - I hate it. It doesn't matter if I have a pocketful of cash and no time limit - I still hate it. Add the whole pre-holiday attitude of the other customers and idiotic cashiers, and I was about at my wit's end.

Like my hat?

I think he was trying to strike a pose...

Daniel got sick at school today - I'm beginning to think that he might have some kind of allergy issue because he's been doing this a little too often. But yeah, the kid was hit by both the Vomit Rocket and the Poop Train today - and then was fine for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

He likes my hat too.

Alex has been having an issue with his teeth. For some reason, he likes to keep his baby teeth until his permanent ones are in completely - then his baby teeth slowly start to wiggle loose. We've been working on getting this tooth out for a couple of days now, and I was finally able to yank it tonight.

My skin is still crawling. I hate doing that.

Pre-yanking

Success!!!

Getting it into the Tooth Fairy Pillow

Ready for bed...

Alex is in kindergarten. He's 5...almost 6. I still can't get used to the idea of him reading. He's growing up too fast, and he likes to remind me on a regular basis.

He got a little notebook from his teacher today for Christmas, and he was "writing" notes in it. At first, he was just scribbling so then I told him to go ahead and write something - just to see what he could do. He surprised me and did these totally on his own, with no help at all.

So now the boys are in bed, the house is quiet, and I'm looking forward to being able to sleep in tomorrow. The older 3 kids have one more day of school before Christmas break but they're with Ex1 tonight so I don't have to get up in the morning - which I tried to drill into Alex's head, but I'm sure he'll have me up at the buttcrack of dawn like he always does. Hopefully no one is sick tomorrow so that we can go to the girls' choir concert in the afternoon - we missed their band concert tonight since Daniel wasn't feeling well.

The next few days will be a little crazy, between having the kids home from school and getting things done around the house before Christmas and finishing my shopping and trying to get things wrapped - I need a few more days, but I usually work better under pressure. It'll all get done one way or another.

I might go insane in the meantime, but at least it'll be fun!

A better day

You know, it's funny. I was joking around on my facebook page last night about wearing my bathrobe to church today if I didn't get my laundry done. I said "They're used to me running in there, usually about 5 minutes into the service, gasping for air, hair still dripping wet (if I was lucky enough to get a shower)...."

Well guess what? The kids and I ran in there about 5 minutes late, my hair was still wet, and I was out of breath. But we made it. The older three were happy to go to our church for a change, and the other people there were happy to see them since they don't get to go with me very often.

After church we came home and made lunch and I continued to work on cleaning and doing laundry.

Then we went outside.

I have this corner of my yard that just epitomizes the whole ghetto-riffic atmosphere. It appears that someone in the past started chucking branches there instead of getting rid of them, and over time the pile got bigger, some beer bottles were added to it, and stuff started to grow through it. It's not a huge area, but it's big enough to be an eyesore and it's a pain to mow around (see this post for more details on this particular subject) so I decided to get rid of it.

For the record, the piles of crap behind me are not mine. Those two huge trees are the property line - that stuff belongs to the neighbor.

Jared wanted to cut something.

Something tells me that these have been here for a while.

I got a lot of the big stuff bundled up, but I need to get some big lawn & leaf type bags to put the rest of the crap into, and then I can take it all to the landfill and get rid of it, and my yard will look somewhat better - just in time for winter. But at least I'm getting it done.

I found out last minute that I had to take Jared to a Boy Scout meeting - wasn't too thrilled about doing that, just for the time factor more than anything. Ex1 and I switched some time around - otherwise the older 3 wouldn't have even been here today - so I just didn't really want to have to leave early to take him to a meeting. But I did, and then Daniel and I came back here to hang out for a while. I was going to go back outside and work, but I lost my initiative somewhere. Oops.

Alex got home shortly after we did, with a fantastic surprise for me!

Huh. He never even told me that it was loose. I just hope that the permanent one moves into the hole and lines up with all of the other ones.

Tonight was haircut night for Daniel - and it was the first time ever that he didn't scream his head off the entire time. It was quite refreshing.

He looks so much like his father here. *sigh*

Kind of hard to tell the difference in the pictures, because he's going through this I Refuse To Cooperate For Any Sort Of Pictures phase. He can be such a turd at times.

Finally, bedtime. I had to call the girls at their father's house to find out where the official Tooth Fairy pillow was hidden, but it was located, the tooth was inserted, and Mr. Big Boy went to bed with the tooth pillow stashed neatly under his pillow.

Now, just hope and pray that the Tooth Fairy remembers to visit tonight....she's been known to forget once or twice before.