That wasn't supposed to happen

Today started out rough. Daniel started on another vomiting spree sometime in the middle of the night, and kept it up for several hours. The Dude came over at 4:30am as usual so that I could go to work, and I made the decision to take the day off instead. So I got the kids up and ready to go to school, he loaded them up and took them, and I crawled back into bed with Daniel. At some point, The Dude came back and brought some Gatorade and ginger ale - I vaguely remember him coming in to the house and leaving again.

Daniel and I got up around 11:00am and puttered around the house for a bit. I figured that since I had an unexpected day off, I could maybe get some stuff done around the house. The Dude had to be at work at 11:00am, so I knew that I wouldn't be hearing from him for a while.

A little after noon, my phone rang - and it was him. I had a really bad feeling, and as soon as I answered the phone I knew that I was right.

"Babe, I'm headed to the hospital. I fell and I'm pretty sure I broke my wrist."

Crap.

We talked for a few minutes until he got to the hospital, and then the texting started. He kept me updated as things were happening. At 1:13pm, I got the text from him - "And its broken"

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

I met him at the hospital and took him back to work to fill out paperwork, and then dropped off his prescription and picked Alex up from school. We had to run a couple of errands and then I had to get back here to make supper for the kids. After we were done with that, we made supper for him and his mother and ran that over to their apartment, and then ran a few more errands.

Needless to say, he's not a happy camper right now.

So now we wait until he sees the ortho to find out what the plan is from this point. All I know is that he is miserable and in pain, and I hate to see him like this. I'll be out of town all day tomorrow for a Scout outing with all of the kids, so once we get back I'll be able to check on him and make sure that he's ok. But it looks like he's out of commission for a little while - at least until the pain eases up and he can start to function again.

It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse.

It. could. be. worse.

Cake baking, quilt making, building burning...

Over the past day or so, Alex has gotten to bake a cake. His Blue & Gold banquet for Scouts was tonight, and part of that banquet is a cake decorating contest. And although I have mixed emotions about him being in Scouts - the fact is that he's in right now, and he will continue to participate until a decision is made otherwise.

Anyway....the cakes were being judged in a number of categories, but we decided to go for the Most Patriotic and/or Most Colorful categories.

He helped with every step along the way....

Dumping the mix into the bowl.

Separating the eggs. Love this trick!

Mixing mixing mixing....

Adding food coloring to the batter.

The finished layers.

Stacking the layers.

Frosting!

More frosting!

Flags. And sprinkles.

Can never have too many sprinkles.

The finished product - from the outside.

And the inside.

We had hoped that the cake itself would be red, white, and blue - not pink, white, and light blue. But at the risk of having everyone oozing food coloring out of their pores, we opted to not add any more color to the batter. It still came out pretty nifty though - considering that it's been many many years since I've done one of these cakes.

If you're curious, I used a thing from Pampered Chef to do this - I think it's just called a checkerboard cake pan or something like that. I don't know if they still make it or not. It's not difficult, there's no magic involved - but it is a little bit of a pain in the butt, especially if you're in a bit of a hurry when you're doing it.

Anyway, he didn't win any of the prizes, but that's ok. We had a blast making it, and it tasted great.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the midst of all of this, I was working on a sewing project or three. And while I got a lot of it done, it also further reinforced the fact that we have GOT to get out of this house and into some place bigger. I can't deal with having to combine my sewing space and my sleeping space - since I worked on my project until the wee hours of the morning, I ended up sleeping on the couch because...well, because I couldn't find my bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This afternoon, I was outside changing the blinker light bulb in my van, and I heard sirens. I looked up and saw a cop go tearing past on the big street nearby. I didn't think too much about it. Then I heard and saw a second one. No big deal - they almost always travel in pairs. Then I heard a third one and when I looked up I realized that he had stopped and was blocking traffic on the bigger street. Curious, I put the light bulb down and walked to the end of my driveway and looked - and to my surprise the business three doors down and across the big street from me was on fire. As in - thick black smoke pouring out of the roof and the back of the business. 

Within moments every piece of emergency equipment was there and traffic was a standstill. People pulled into the parking lots of other businesses and got out to take pictures and to watch. Nice Neighbor had walked down there to give one of the employees a coat to wear (it was cold)(and that's why she is Nice Neighbor) and she said that there were only 2 employees inside at the time and they had both gotten out safely. The business had been remodeling, so I'm willing to bet that something electrical started the fire.

Alex came outside to watch the fire trucks for a little bit, but we were getting ready to leave for the banquet and it was cold - so I didn't let him stay out too long. But he still got a kick out of it, and we are thankful that no one was injured.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So now, after running around like a crazy person for the past few days, my feet and ankles are killing me. Alex went home with his father tonight so it's just me and Daniel - who is currently snoozing on the couch. But I promised Daniel that he could sleep in my bed tonight so I think I'm going to go uncover it and we're going to crawl into it. Tomorrow is another day - and I can take care of everything else then.

Not exactly what I had planned...

OK, seriously, when your day starts off with a sunrise like this, what can possibly go wrong? Really?

Wrong question to ask.

My plans for the day were fairly simple.

Get the kids to school. Come home and clean and whatnot. Get the kids from school. Make supper. Have The Dude come over and watch the kids for about 2 hours while I go to a meeting. Come home. Hang out. Put kids in bed.

Easy, right?

HA!

I got the kids to school. I came home and putzed around and didn't do much of anything for a while.

Then, it happened.....*cue ominous music*

The Dude called me from work to ask me to bring some ibuprofen or something to him because his back was hurting. I had just gotten a shower so I finished getting ready and ran across town to give him the medicine. I could tell that he was hurting - badly. But he had to wait for his boss to get there before he could leave so I came back home.

He called me again a little later. And it's one of those calls that no one ever wants to get.

"Babe, can you come and get me and take me to the ER? I can barely breathe because it hurts so bad."

I took off and got him from work and he was miserable. We got to the hospital and it was all he could do to walk in the door. It was busy but luckily they got him in fairly quickly - and then we waited. I had to leave to get the boys from school so I took off across town. As I was driving, I called a friend of mine to see if she could watch the boys for a couple of hours, and luckily she agreed so I told her that I would be there as soon as I got them. I hung up and called Ex1 to explain what was happening and to ask him if he could just keep the older three kids instead of bringing them to me, and he agreed. I got the boys, dumped them at my friend's house, and got back to the hospital about 30 minutes after I had left.

He had gotten the xrays done by that time and was even more miserable than when I left him half an hour earlier. The doctor came back and said that things looked ok on the xrays and that it did not appear that his lung was collapsed (wait, what? you mean you thought that was a possibility???) and that it was a severe thoracic strain and the muscles were spasming. He got a couple of shots in the butt and a handful of prescriptions, and we left.

I dropped off the prescriptions and then we went back to his work to drop off the doctor's note and to lock up his truck since we were leaving it there, and then I took him back home and poured him into his bed. Then I left to go back to pick up the prescriptions and bring those back to him.

At that point I realized that if I rushed I could still make the meeting that I had planned to go to, so I raced home and changed my clothes and went to the meeting. While I was there, Ex1 called to let me know that Emily had forgotten some stuff she needed for school but not to worry about getting it to her since she was the one who forgot it. We touched base about a few other things and then I went back to the meeting.

After the meeting, I went to my friend's to pick up the boys, back over to The Dude's house to get some money, ran out to get him some food, and then took the food to him - and then finally got the boys home. They ate a late supper and fell asleep on the couch.

Emily texted me about the stuff that she forgot - apparently the lines of communication got crossed and she thought that I was bringing it to her tonight. I talked to her and Ex1 and we decided that there was no way I was doing it tonight (25 miles round trip at bedtime for the boys? I think not...) but I would bring it out in the morning after I drop the boys off - but only because if things hadn't been so crazy tonight she would have been able to get it and would have had it for tomorrow.

And then to top it all off.....

I had gotten a message while all of this was happening that the blankity-blank-blank Tooth Fairy letter had been posted on cheezburger(dot)com. I didn't worry about it too much at the time because, well......I was busy. I looked into it tonight, and sure enough it's on there - under the "Parenting Fails". And yeah, that bugs me. It was just a silly letter, and it's totally being taken out of context and it's driving me nuts. And I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

But it's also a good reminder that judgmental people suck.

Where's the Tooth Fairy?

So here's the story....

Last week, when I went to the dentist, they called the oral surgeon and scheduled the appointment for me. I was standing right there. I heard her schedule it. And confirm it. And she wrote it down on the surgeon's card and handed it to me. She even asked them how much it was going to cost while I was standing there.

So the appointment was for 10:15 this morning. It was about a 30 mile drive, so The Dude and I left here around 9:30 just to be safe. We got there, I panicked a bit, and he got me in the door. I gave the lady my name, and she looked confused. Then she asked for my birthdate. And then for which doctor I was seeing. And then I handed her the appointment card.

I wasn't on the schedule. They didn't have me on their schedule. How does that happen???

She handed me the paperwork anyway, and we sat down and filled it all out and I handed it back to her, but she still said nothing about whether or not they were actually going to see me today. After a short wait, I was called back to the exam room. I grabbed The Dude and made him go with me, because there was no way that I was going alone.

We got back there and she proceeded to tell me that they were going to squeeze me in - unless I wanted to be sedated. If I wanted to be sedated, then they'd have to reschedule me because they just didn't have time. I knew at that moment that I was going to go through complete and utter hell, but I told her to just do it because if I walked out of that office today, I wasn't coming back.

So the dentist/surgeon walked in, introduced himself, and *bam* got to work - after he figured out that he was about to pull the wrong tooth. Yeah, there was a typo somewhere and he asked if he was pulling one on the left and I about freaked and showed him which one it was. Things were not starting off well at all. The initial shots to numb it weren't bad, until he got to the one on the roof of my mouth, where I pretty much lost it and started crying. Cripes, I hate when I do that. But he left to give it time to work, and The Dude stood there and held my hand and talked to me until I calmed down, and then it was time.

The procedure itself was brutal. Absolutely brutal. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to sugarcoat it. He worked extremely quickly - almost too quick for my taste - and I white-knuckled my way through it. He warned me at one point that I was going to hear cracking....yeah, I'm sorry, that wasn't "cracking" - that was the most horrible sound that I've ever heard in my life, and it was coming from MY mouth. The pressure was incredible, the pain was intense (he did ask at one point if it hurt, but didn't even pause to hear my answer), and the sounds were unbelievable.

I'm not sure how long it took. Maybe 30 minutes? By that time I couldn't even think straight. I know he had to put a few stitches in on the side of my gum, but those are supposed to dissolve so I don't have to go back. He gave all of the instructions and the prescription (yes, I accepted a prescription for pain pills this time) to The Dude, and then looked at me and said something to the effect of "maybe you should consider being put under next time". I really wanted to snap back and say "maybe you should have put me on the schedule this time so that could have happened" but I couldn't form the words.

So I paid and we left. And I cried. It hurt so much and I was so upset by the whole scheduling debacle and this did absolutely nothing to help with the fear of dental work.

The Dude drove me home and then went and got my prescription filled and picked up some lunch for us - mashed potatoes for me! And I took a pain pill and we started to watch a movie...but when the couch started spinning I decided that it was time to lay down for a while. I napped while he watched the movie and then went and got the boys from school. He had to go into work for a few hours, so I'm going to make something for the boys to eat and get them into bed and then become one with the loveseat until he comes back from work. I'm still in an  unreal amount of pain, so I plan on drugging myself up really good tonight after he gets back since he can stay with me tonight - maybe if I drug up enough tonight, I can get ahead of the pain.

On the plus side, I'm not *too* swollen (right side) so he
must have done something right.

Follow-up, catch up, and staying up.

First, the follow-up:

You remember when I went for my first mammogram the other day, right? Well, I got this little gem in the mailbox today. I really didn't feel like I had to worry about anything, but getting the confirmation is always nice and crossing anything off of the "things I should potentially be worried about" list is good.

So ladies, if you're over 40 and you haven't gone yet, DO IT. It's easy. It doesn't hurt. Just do it and get it over with so that you can cross it off of your list too. Please.

As for what's been going on for the past few days (since I haven't blogged in what seems like forever)....

I have this phobia of dentists. We've talked about it a little here and there on my facebook page. Anyway, I had my wisdom teeth pulled back in 1993, and I've been to the dentist once since then. If you do the math, that's once in 19 years.

Smart thing to do, right? Wrong.....

Years ago....probably 6ish or so....I broke a tooth. It has a filling in it, and a chunk of the tooth broke off. I went to a dentist to see what could be done with it, and since he wanted something like $600 to do a root canal and a crown, I didn't get it fixed. It didn't hurt, so I just didn't bother with it. Recently, it started to feel uncomfortable, and I realized that there was a crack in the other side of the same tooth. I figured out that I was going to have to do something about it, so I called and made an appointment with the local clinic, and the earliest that they could fit me in for an extraction was January 12.

Then it started to hurt. Like, really really bad. So I called another dentist who was recommended by a friend and he got me in immediately (yesterday) - come to find out that the tooth is abscessed and needs to be pulled. Like, NOW. (I still can't afford a root canal and all of that jazz.) But, I have to go to an oral surgeon to do that because it's an upper tooth and the roots go up into (or too close to) my sinus, and the roots are curved too much for him to do it. So Tuesday morning, I get to go deal with that, and until then I am on antibiotics and miserable - but, I had totally forgotten that I would have to be on antibiotics anyway because of my prosthetic hip. I don't remember the reasoning for that though....

So that's why I haven't been around much for the past few days. Fun, huh?

Poor tree....

And now, because I haven't been able to function, and because I opted to sleep for a couple of extra hours this morning after I took the kids to school, and because I had to go to basketball games this evening for close to 4 hours, I have a ton of things to do. There is so much laundry piled up in my laundry room that I'm almost afraid to walk in there, lunches need to be packed for tomorrow, the Christmas tree needs to be righted after it took a nasty spill last night and is now just propped up in the corner of the living room......so I guess it's a good thing that I got that couple of extra hours of sleep this morning.

And the results are in....

We woke up this morning to a horrendous thunderstorm - as in *something* in our neighborhood got hit by lightning, and the thunderclap about knocked us out of bed. I checked the radar, and it was ugly. I was getting worried about whether or not there was even going to be a race, but as I checked the website, they were determined to continue. We got ready and took off to Wichita, running a bit behind. We got to the start line about 15 minutes before the race began - and it was raining.

The Dude and the boys hung out at the start line until we took off, and then he took them out to breakfast. The original plan was to let them play on the playground near the start/finish line, but well, the rain killed that one.

It rained for probably the first 7-8 miles - and it wasn't always a nice gentle rain, either. There were some out-and-out downpours, and I ran through ankle-deep water more than once on the route. I ended up having to take my glasses off and jammed them into my shirt because of the rain, so I was literally running blindly for a while. The rain finally stopped around mile 9ish, which is about when I started to lose my steam. My body has never been one to handle bad weather, so I was miserable by the end.

Anyway, here are the pictures....

I was exhausted at the end. Completely and totally exhausted. And so sore. My hips were killing me, my ankles were sore, and my underarms were rubbed raw. My feet were starting to cramp so the boys helped me to get my wet shoes and socks off of my feet so that I could walk around barefoot for a while, and The Dude went and got the van so that I wouldn't have to walk too far. Of course, since I was soaked to the bone (even my underwear was wet) I was cold, and the only dry thing that we had in the van was his jacket. His Cowboys jacket. I had to swallow my pride and cover myself with it for the ride home, and of course he was loving every single second of it. Jerk. :P

And of course, the medal that all participants received. It's pretty cool this year - has kind of a stained glass effect to it.

So anyway....I guess you want the results. I had a few goals when I started:

(1.) Finish vertically and not in a body bag.
(2.) Beat my time from last year, which was 3:12:32.
(3.) Finish in under 3 hours.

Obviously, I met Goal #1, and I finished.
I met Goal #2 with a final time of 3:12:05 - I beat last year's time by 27 seconds.
I didn't meet Goal #3.

When I first started out, I was doing really well - but the weather really created problems for me, and honestly, at one point I wasn't sure that I could even finish. So, while I'm somewhat disappointed that I didn't improve more, I'm still happy with the results.

I have to give a very special shout-out to The Dude. He has been so wonderful to me throughout all of this - from putting up with me going out to run instead of spending time with him, to getting up in the wee hours of the morning to go with me to races, to watching the kids while I run, to giving me pep talks and constantly supporting and encouraging me - I just can't thank him enough. I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I'm going to enjoy it and not question it. Thanks, babe, and I love you!

He didn't make it.

And with those four little words, my entire world turned upside down.

Some of you know, but most of you don't. I found out yesterday that my ex-husband (the second one) was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Through a series of messages today, I found out that his condition had deteriorated quickly - multiple organs were failing and he was on a ventilator. I packed up the kids and we went to our friends' house to hang out, because I didn't want to be at home alone when I got the word. At about 7:30pm my time I received another message - "He didn't make it." I looked at my phone and couldn't breathe. I handed the phone to my friends so that they could see the message too, and I lost it. Completely and totally lost it.

Our marriage was not a fairy tale story by any stretch of the imagination. We met online, we rushed into a relationship and we rushed into a marriage. We both had our demons - his was alcohol - but we tried to work past them. There were numerous times when the police were called to our home because the drinking had gotten out of hand, and he did a stint in rehab, but the lure of the alcohol was always too strong.

Kicking him out for the final time was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life, but I had to protect myself and my kids. Since that time, I have had very little contact with him. I have not seen him in over a year and a half, and he has not seen our son in that long either.

I told my girls about him being in the hospital first. I knew that I had to tell them - to prepare them - because I wasn't sure how I was going to react when I found out that he was gone. They were devastated. So they knew as soon as I broke down at our friends' house what had happened. I waited until we got home to tell my 6 year old. He didn't fully grasp it, and I didn't expect him to. I haven't told my 5 year old yet, and I haven't told our son.

I have gone through a complete rollercoaster of emotions today. I am pissed off at him - I don't know what the official cause of death was, but I'm quite sure that alcohol played a part in it. Why couldn't he just stop drinking? Why was booze so damned important to him that he gave up his LIFE for it? I am sad that our son will never know his father. He was not quite 2 years old when he left, and doesn't even ask about him. He has never asked me why he didn't have a daddy in his life, and now when he does, I have to tell him that his daddy is dead. I am devastated because even though our marriage wasn't perfect, I still believed that deep down inside, there was a good man trying to get out. I still had that tiny little glimmer of hope that at some point, he would get the help that he needed and become a father to our son, even if from a distance.

Now, any hope is gone. He is gone. I didn't expect to feel this many emotions. I didn't expect to have this horrible pain in my chest and the knot in my stomach and the eyes that are almost swollen shut from crying. Our divorce was just final 20 days ago, and I thought that the emotional rollercoaster was over. Sadly, I think I just got back on for another ride.

I know that we will get through this. I know that we will be fine. But right now, I am hurting. I think I am hurting more than I ever have before. Not only am I still mourning the end of our marriage, but now I am mourning the death of a man with whom I was once crazy in love.