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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Don't judge me.

Here's a news flash for everyone. I know it might come as a shock to some people.

I'm not perfect.

I have made so many mistakes in my life - we all have, haven't we?

Mistakes are a part of life, and there are so many ways that we can handle them.

We can learn from them, and not make the same mistake again.
We can use what we learned to make sure that our loved ones don't do the same thing.
We can make them a few times just to make sure that they were really mistakes before we learn from them.
We can even pretend that we didn't make the mistakes and act like everything is ok, when in all actuality, it isn't.

Or, my all-time favorite thing to do with a mistake (made by someone else, of course) is to judge a person for her mistakes. (I hope you sense the sarcasm on that...)

Think about it...

We aren't perfect. We've all made mistakes. Right?

So we see someone else make a mistake. It happens, right?

But instead of supporting that person while she regains her footing on the ground that has slipped out from under her, we judge that person. We ridicule that person. We call her a bad person, or worse yet, a bad mother. Instead of keeping our opinions to ourselves, we voice them, and we hurt her. We cause her to doubt herself. We don't go back to her and ask her for her side of the story so that we may better understand her actions - instead, we cut her out of our life.

We pretend that she doesn't exist anymore.

We exclude her from everything.

Why? Because she wasn't perfect, and may not have handled a situation the way that we would have wanted her to do it. But...maybe, just maybe, she had her reasons for handling it that way. Maybe it went way deeper than what we saw on the surface. But we will never know the reasons unless we ask.

At the same time, after we've cut her out of our lives, maybe she's learned from her mistakes. Maybe she's become a better person. Maybe she's even become stronger than she ever was, stronger than we ever gave her credit for being.

Maybe someday, we will find out her reasoning for doing what she did - if we choose to ask her about it. And maybe, she won't be as judgmental of us as we were of her.

14 comments:

  1. Putting yourself out here for us is something that most of us appreciate, but there will always be haters. I am linking you to my favorite blog so you can see part of how she deals with it. Here is what someone asked here and the next quote is her response.

    "I'm surprised you haven't been reported to child welfare with how public you are about some of the things you think and do regarding your daughter. Paper towels are very dangerous for your daughter to chew on. She could suffocate. Don't let her be alone with them. I'm amazed at how foolish you can be sometimes."

    "When you call DCFS, please get the story straight. Not only do I leave her alone with paper towels, I set her in the middle of a flea-infested floor and surround her with sharp objects and porn. Then I turn on a wood-burning stove in the corner of the room and seal all the windows. Before I leave the room and lock the door, I stick a bottle full of vodka in her mouth to muffle the screaming"

    http://dooce.com/faq

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    1. I love that response, and it is totally something that I would say!

      I'm happy to say that probably 95% of the responses that I get on here are positive, and I know that there will always be people (some in particular) who will disagree with everything that I say. I have pretty much gotten over that, and that's part of the reason why I've started to post more of what I call Baring My Soul posts - sometimes I just need to get it out.

      The situation that initially inspired this post wasn't even related to blogging when I started to write it. It was something that happened several years ago, but still rears its ugly head on occasion. But the post in its entirety relates to several different situations, and I'm sure that other people can relate to it.

      (I miss you, BTW - we need to catch up!)

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  2. Things like this are why I am proud to say that my OJAR Family helped me to grow up. :) <3 you! (and you know you're more than my OJAR Family.)

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    1. I <3 you too, kid!

      Yeah, I'm that kind of family that just won't go away - kind of like the plague. :P

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  3. I Love that Quote from Mother Teresa....IF YOU JUDGE PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM....Yes, I'm shouting it out!!!! Thank you for posting it...leave it up to you to bring something up that is so soul searching...You are an amazing Woman!!!

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  4. You rock! Love ya! Whoever don't, tell them to shove it! :)

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  5. It's okay,whoever told you the bad thing probably is jealous that you can be so positive and helpful in this horrible world :( keep staying positive because you have helped and are continuing to help hundreds of people :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Comments like this make it all worthwhile. Seriously.

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