Perspective. It's a beautiful thing.

I don't even know where to start on this one. Seriously. It's been bouncing around in my head since about 7:30 this morning when some idiot in the drive-thru at work really pushed my buttons - and not in a good way.

Let me explain what happened.

We all know that I work in fast food, and most of the time I work in the drive-thru. There are things that people do that thoroughly annoy me, and I wrote about some of them a few days ago. This guy...... yeah. He was right up there with some of the worst offenders.

We were out of large coffee cups today. They had been ordered, but they didn't come on the previous truck. It happens sometimes - we can't control it. So this guy came to the drive-thru and he ordered a large coffee. Our conversation went something like this:

Mr. Grouch: Gimme a (whatever food he ordered) and a large coffee.
Me: I'm very sorry, sir, but we are out of large coffee cups today. Can I get you a medium coffee instead?
Mr. Grouch: (snaps) Well I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?
Me: I apologize, and.....
Mr. Grouch: (interrupts) Well, I just can't believe this. I mean, really? No cups? I should just go to (insert name of other restaurant). Fine, whatever.
Me: Again, I'm very sorry sir. Can I get you anything else today?
Mr. Grouch: No. I just want my damned large coffee.
Me: Is everything on your screen correct?
Mr. Grouch: Except for the coffee, yes.
Me: Your total is (whatever it was) at the first window, please. Thank you.

He pulled up to the window and started on his tirade again, but to my face this time. I kept apologizing and explained that the cups had been ordered, but they simply were not on the truck and it was out of our control. He just kept at it and muttered under his breath as he paid for his stuff, then pulled to the second window where he continued his tirade until he left.

At first, I was really mad at the guy. I mean seriously, who gets that bent out of shape about a cup of coffee?

There are so many more important things in this world today. So many more. But yet, this guy.... this nicely dressed, handsome man driving a shiny new SUV, was totally losing his cool over something as simple as a cup of coffee.

So many people today have such an entitlement attitude, and it drives me insane. Yes, we're a business and yes, we're supposed to have large cups - but you know what? Sometimes we don't. We aren't required to have them, and even if we did have them, we're not required to serve you. If you want to make sure that you get the cup of coffee that you want - then get it yourself. Buy a coffee pot and make it yourself at home. It's that simple.

And if you make the choice to depend on someone else to provide it for you, then you need to understand that you might not always get what you want. 

Throwing a temper tantrum isn't going to help.

Hosting your own pity party isn't going to help.

If you want something to happen, then make it happen. Don't waste your energy blaming others when you have the power to do it yourself.

I really wanted to tell this guy that if getting a different sized cup of coffee was the worst thing that was going to happen to him today, he should feel lucky. At least he had the ability to get up, get dressed, get in his fancy SUV, and drive somewhere to pay someone to make him a cup of coffee. So many people today don't have that.

I honestly want to thank this jerk. He made me look at some of the things that have been weighing on my mind lately and realize that they really aren't that big of a deal, and they're not worth a temper tantrum or a pity party. Instead, I will make my own cup of coffee and handle them like an adult.

Thank you, Mr. Grouch. I needed that reality check.

So what does Emily think of the Tooth Fairy letter?

It's been almost 6 months since I posted that silly letter to Emily from the Tooth Fairy. And today she surprised me by saying "hey Mom, I know you made that Tooth Fairy letter famous".

I about fell over, because I didn't think that she knew about the uproar that was caused by it.

I asked her how she knew about it, and she said that she saw it on my computer one day. I asked her if she had read the blog and she said no, so I showed it to her. She knew that I had it, but had never really paid attention to it before. I showed her where I had initially posted the letter and the reaction that it got there. We looked through some of the shares of it and I showed her where it had been posted on BuzzFeed, and I showed her some of the nasty comments too.

Her reaction?

"You mean people thought that it was bad? I've known that you were the Tooth Fairy since I was about 6 years old!"

I told her that people told me she'd be scarred for life because of it, and she rolled her eyes at me.

So yeah. For all of the people who think that the Tooth Fairy letter was such a horrible thing to do to my kid...... she's rolling her eyes at you, too.

Do you really want me to look like an idiot? Here's your chance.

This post was written by my niece Ashley.

OK, OK, technically she's not MY niece. She's Ex1's niece. So she's really my ex-niece. Or something like that. But you know, that's just semantics in the grand scheme of things. 

Listen to what she has to say. It's important.

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Cystic Fibrosis is a life-threatening genetic disease. There is no cure. You cannot catch it. You are either born with it, or not. However, just being around someone with it or their cough, will NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT make you sick. CF causes mucus to build up and clog some of the organs in the body, most commonly the lungs and pancreas. Mucus building up and clogging the lungs cause difficulty breathing, and frequent infections since the thickened mucus is bacteria’s favorite place to take up house. This eventually leads to lung damage. Many patients with CF are diagnosed as Pancreatic Insufficient, and require replacement enzymes to digest their food, maintain a healthy weight, and receive appropriate nutrition. Statistics from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation indicate that approximately 30,000 adults and children are currently diagnosed with the disease, and that approximately 10 million more people are carriers! That breaks down to 1 in 31 Americans.

Let me introduce to you how that plays into our lives. In 2005, I met my husband. In 2007 we found out that we were expecting. Things began rocky. I had what I believe to be the worst case of morning sickness known to man. If I was awake, I was nauseated. Exercising, eating, drinking, asleep…you guessed it. When we finally got to the point to where we could find out what the sex of the baby was, the excitement was tantamount to Christmas morning to a four year old. We hear, “you see that? Looks like a turtle? That’s the penis.” It’s a boy. Much to my surprise, my husband’s face dropped. However, by the time we got home that day he was excited. “I’m going to get to teach someone to wrench on things like I do. He’ll tear his bike apart and put it back together.” There was the excitement I’d dreamed of.

Fast forward four weeks, to our next appointment. “The sonogram showed some fluid retention in the kidneys, which isn’t necessarily normal, but it’s not abnormal either. We’d like to do a second sonogram.” Okay, cool. We’ll get to see his chubby little cheeks and cute button nose again. Next sonogram the normal “drink until you think if you even inhale you’ll pee your pants” happens. They take a bunch of measurements, tell you what they’re looking at, we get a couple pictures, done.  The first appointment I attended alone, the OB was out of town.  Let me tell you, there are few things I thought would ever worry me. I never imagined that I would be 25-26 weeks pregnant and terrified. I see the PA and she says, “There were still bright spots on the bowel.” I’m sorry, what?!  This is the first I’ve heard of this. “Well, there are a few things it could be. It could be nothing, or there is a 1% possibility it’s Cystic Fibrosis.” They were going to play vampire that day anyway, so I told them to test it. Now, what they were looking for is whether I was a carrier or not. I was told 7 days for labs to come back and no news is good news. The 7th day I’m thinking, whew, we really cut that one close. At 5:15pm my phone rings. “You ARE a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis.” Crap. Now we’d have to get my husband tested, but insurance refused to pay for it, and we were too broke to pay out of pocket. We had no choice, but to hope and pray.

On October 12, 2007, Corban made a sweeping appearance in the middle of the night. Nothing like what labor was with my daughter. This was easy. He was 7lbs in all of his beautiful glory. He had passed meconium in utero, so we thought we were out of the woods. He nursed like a pro, except he seemed to always be hungry. He nursed 45 minutes, every 45 minutes. At 10 days, he developed a cough. It took some pushing, but I finally got them to test him. He was given a sweat test that afternoon. Now, typically they say they can’t get a newborn to sweat enough for good results. I reckon he didn’t need much sweat, because he was given a “suggestive positive” two days later. The phone call came while I was gone. I was eating lunch with my mother, and she had a phone call in the office. When she came back out she said “you need to go home right now. That was Matthew.” I knew. I hit the ground. All I could say was No repeatedly.  Suggestive positive meant he could still not have it. The only problem, his number was 112 mmol/L. Suggestive positive would mean he was below 60. At 60, it’s a diagnosis.

Digital Clubbing. Rounded fingers and wide fingertips.

We were referred to a specialist two weeks later. They did genetic work, and they found two genes. Official diagnosis.  Delta F 508, a very common mutation and Delta I 507, more rare. He was diagnosed as Pancreatic Insufficient in the office. He went on Creon (enzyme replacement) at that point, and will be on it for the rest of his life. Today, he is going on 6 years old. He has had pneumonia twice, tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, polypectomy, diagnosed with Distal Intestinal Obstructive Syndrome (DIOS), at one point required a PICC line, and he has digital clubbing.

Vesting

How does this affect our family? Treatments are a big deal in our lives. Corban takes 3 breathing treatments once a day, and two twice a day. During those treatments he uses a vest, which is a machine that basically shakes him and breaks up the mucus in his lungs. 28 pills on average per day, and a nasty nasal rinse twice a day. Every 3 months, we take a road trip 200 miles north to see the Pulmonologist, Dietitian, Social Worker, Gastroenterologist, and Respiratory Therapist. Despite all of this, he is your typical boy.

This is the machine that tests his FEV1 -Forced Expulsion Value based on 1%.
In other words...how much of the air in his lungs can he get out. 
It tells what level his lungs are functioning at.
He has been as low as 70% - today he was at 98%!

Trip home. He puts out that much effort
on the machine.

Corban's daily medication

Corban will live the rest of his life battling CF. I pray strongly each day that he will beat it. His odds are good. But it’s a downhill disease. Right now, the average life expectancy for a CFer is 37.

Here’s where you come in. Each year Great Strides puts on walks all over America. Our Local walk is May 4. This is our chance to raise money to fund the research for the cure, as the Foundation runs solely on donation. Nearly 90 cents of every dollar raised goes directly to research.

Just visit this page to donate in my name...... or.......

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Here's where it gets fun. Ashley and I are both very competitive people. And we are evil. And we can really really torture each other.

So we have a little challenge going between us. You can either go her page to donate to her, or you can go to my page to donate to me. All of the money goes to the same place in the end.

Out of the two of us, whoever gets the most money donated gets to 'dress' the other person the morning of the walk. If I raise more money than she does, I get to make her wear whatever I want her to wear - clothes, hairstyle, shoes, makeup, accessories - you name it.

But, if she raises more money than I do, she gets to do it to me.

And we are evil. EVIL. Trust me, whoever wins this little challenge is going to TORTURE the other person. Just imagine - one of us is going to be dressed like an idiot while walking about 3 miles with over 1000 other people who are dressed normally.

Yes. There will be pictures. Lots of pictures. I can promise you that.

So will you please help us? Help Corban and the thousands of others who have this disease - with your help we can one day make CF stand for Cure Found!

You can also help by sharing this post as much as possible. Make THIS go viral. Make it knock that silly Tooth Fairy letter out of the bloggy world because this is way more important than that thing ever was. Corban thanks you. 

The Annual Seasonal Greeting Feud

Here's something else that started from my own personal wall, but I figured that I'd go ahead and share it here as well - with a few minor edits that I didn't think of the first time around.


OK, people – it’s not even December yet, and I’ve already had enough of the bickering between the “Merry Christmas” people and the “Happy Holidays” people. So here’s my take on what I believe is a completely stupid and idiotic argument……

If you know me well, or if you've been following my blog for a while, then you know that I love everyone. If you've just started stalking me, it's something that you'll learn fairly quickly (like NOW). Seriously. I do. If you’re on my friends list or in my life in any way, shape, or form, it’s because I want you to be there. I don’t give a crap what you celebrate or don’t celebrate, or what you believe or don't believe, as long as you are a good person.

So, if I happen to say “Happy Holidays” it’s not because I’m anti-Christian. But at the same time, if I say “Merry Christmas” it doesn’t mean that I am anti-anything-other-than-Christian. “Happy Holidays” can include Advent, Hanukkah, Diwali, the Winter Solstice, Yule, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, my birthday (because we all know that’s a holiday), Martin Luther King Day, the Chinese New Year, and *gasp* EVEN CHRISTMAS!!!!! Isn’t Christmas a “holiday”??? So if someone says “Happy Holidays” doesn’t that INCLUDE Christmas?

(Yes, I realize that there are even more than that, but you get the idea.) *

Get off of your damned high horses and stop fighting about something so stupid. Quit looking for reasons to be offended. It’s a holiday *season*, people. Quit forcing your beliefs or non-beliefs on other people. Your beliefs are yours. My beliefs are mine. I may or may not agree with what you believe, but that doesn't make either one of us a better person than the other, and it doesn't make one of us wrong and one of us right. Being a Christian doesn’t make you better than anyone else, and not being a Christian doesn’t either. 

Just be nice to each other, for crying out loud. It’s not that hard to do once you stop trying to pick fights with each other. I swear some of you people and your petty arguments make my kids look like angels – and we all know that they’re far from that 99% of the time.





*(This is NOT the time to say "oh, but you forgot to mention ________ and _________." I know I didn't list every single holiday. That's not the point, ok? The point is that there are a ton of holidays just in December and January, ok? I don't think I have to list every single one from around the world in order to make my point.)

So, uh, yeah....about last night....

Wow. That's the first word that comes to mind at this point.

When I sat down to write my post about judgmental people and food stamps last night, I had NO IDEA what was going to happen. None. I figured it would get a decent amount of hits, probably a few more comments than usual, and that would be it.

Almost from the moment I hit "publish" - it went crazy. For real.

Just to give you guys an idea of what I'm talking about....on any given day, my blog usually gets about 150 views. Some days, if I don't post anything, it's as low as 30-40 views. On a good day, it's around 200. Until today, my most popular post ever had a total of 1191 views - and it's been posted since July.

This morning, about 14 hours after I posted that post, it moved into the top position, and surpassed an entry that's been up for 4 months. As of right now, it has over 6200 views and is still climbing. There are well over 50 comments from people (that I still have to go back and respond to - give me time!) and the comments are still coming as well.

Those numbers aren't huge to "big bloggers" but to me - and my little tiny baby blog - it's totally overwhelming. My phone - which controls my internet access - has been lit up all. day. long.

I want everyone to know that I have read every single comment - on the blog, on my facebook page, in my inbox, on my personal profile, on twitter - I've read them all. I just simply haven't had time to respond to everyone yet.

But I would like to clear up a few things really quick while I'm thinking about it...and I'm going to include some links that tell more of the "backstory" for the new people here....

I am NOT currently receiving food stamps. Financially, yes, I am eligible to do so. Honestly, I would love to get them at this point - however, because of some *ahem* hiccups in the system and the refusal of certain individuals to send me paperwork that I requested from them several times, my kids and I can not receive that type of assistance any longer.

I do not currently work. My second ex-husband passed away shortly after our divorce. Because of this, my youngest son and I receive Social Security. We get enough to live on and to put some aside every month. We don't live in the lap of luxury, and some months are really really tight - but we make it work. I think after everything that my kids and I have been through in the past few years, they deserve to have me 100% of the time. I will get a job when the time is right. Until then, I do a lot of crafty type stuff to make a little bit of extra money here and there.

For the most part, my life is an open book on this blog. There are a few taboo subjects -

• We do not talk about exactly where we live. We're in Kansas, and that's all that you need to know. If you recognize our location from the pictures, please don't say anything publicly about it. Had I known when I started that there were going to be so many people reading this, I never would have used pictures of my kids. So don't reveal our location.
• For the love of chocolate, do not use our last names! Do not use anyone's last names! That one should be a no-brainer.
• Don't use the name of the kids' schools if you happen to know them. Again, duh.
• I don't do politics. I leave that up to The Dude. If you don't know who he is, you'll figure it out sooner or later.
• Pretty much everything else that you might want to know is found in the "About Me" tab at the top of this page. Or just ask me. I don't bite.....hard.

Now that we got all of that out of the way...........

The rest of the day was spent doing the usual. Tons of laundry, lots of cleaning, bathroom scrubbing (*gag*), and general running around trying to get ready for the impending holiday. Yep, it was a total purple bandana kind of a day. I finally got my grocery list ready so that I can go to the store tomorrow morning (hopefully before it gets swamped) and get the last few things that we need for dinner on Thursday and then I get to clean some more, start some of the cooking and baking, and wait for the older 3 kids to come home so that we can *gasp* celebrate Sarah's 13th birthday.

Yikes. It's after midnight. I'm officially the mother of a teenager.

OK, I'm going to go cry now.

Listen to the parents - even if they're not yours.

OK, let me preface this by saying that I'm really aggravated right now.

No, I'm really seriously pissed. And for anyone who has been reading this blog for a while, you know that I don't usually use language like that. (OK, not here. Real life is different.)

Alex's first day of school - last year

Alex's father called me today and wanted to know what Alex still needed for school supplies. Well, considering that school starts in 3 days, he already has pretty much everything. I knew that he was missing one or two things but I wasn't sure what, so I told him I'd check and call him back. As it turns out, he just needed some twist-up colored pencils. That's it. Nothing else in the "supplies" category. So I called his father back and told him that.

He proceeded to tell me that he was at the store with his grandmother and she wanted to get school supplies. Again, I told him that he only needed the pencils. He said "well, she wants to get him a backpack too". I told him NO - he has a backpack. He is using the same one from last year, just like the other 4 kids are doing. He used it to carry maybe 2 pieces of paper back and forth each day, and it's still in perfect condition. He doesn't need a new one. I told him that if she really felt the need to buy something, to buy some underwear and socks - because that's what he NEEDS. I also told him that he doesn't need any new clothes or anything like that, but the socks and underwear are really a necessity at this point.

So he stopped by a little bit later to drop the stuff off - including a new backpack. Yes, he bought the pencils, and I am thankful for that. And 2 pairs of pants, that are literally 3 sizes too big. And 2 pairs of shorts - again 3 sizes too big. And a bunch of shirts - guess what? too big. And one pack of underwear and one pack of socks.

So why am I pissed? I should be thankful that he's buying anything, since he can't stick to a reasonable schedule to save his life. He can go out shopping with his grandmother, but can't stop to pick up his kid and spend a few hours with him. I'm pissed because I told him specifically not to get a backpack - and he did. It's not needed, and it's not wanted. Truth be told, when Alex saw it, his first words were "Dad, I don't need that - I already have one". And seriously, while he may only have 1 child over here, I have 5. Getting one kid a new backpack when it's not needed makes it hella hard to justify to the other kids that they don't need a new backpack as well. I am also not the type of person that feels that a kid needs to have a new backpack every year - if the one that we already have is fine, use it again! And seriously, the one that he used last year is in PERFECT condition because actually, now that I think about it, he only used it for a couple of months because the zipper broke on the first one that he had - so realistically, he already has a new one.

I'm pissed because he can't buy him clothes that FIT. Yes, he's a big kid, so his clothes do need to be a little bigger - but not 3 sizes! He told me "oh you can just put them aside for him to grow into" - well what's the point of that? He'll grow into the jeans maybe by next summer - when it's too hot to wear them, and then will turn around and outgrow them before school next year.

One 5-pack of underwear - when I told him that this was the one thing that he needed, and he got one pack. I'm sorry, but this is the kid who still has some toileting issues. Five pairs will last maybe 3 days. UGH!!!!

Bottom line is this - if you want to buy something for a kid, ask the parent (or guardian or whoever) what the kid needs. And if the parent says that something is needed, be respectful and get that. And if the parent says that something is NOT needed - show that same respect and DON'T. GET. IT.

Unless you ask, you don't know the reasons behind why a kid needs or doesn't need something. A kid might need more underwear because he/she has a lot of toileting accidents - but because you're not around a whole lot, you don't know that. You might be told not to buy a kid a toy because maybe the kid has been having behavioral issues at home and the parent doesn't feel that the kids needs it right now. You might be asked not to buy something for one kid because then the other kid feels slighted.

Point of the matter is - you may not know the reasoning. But when a parent says "yes, please get _______" or "no, please don't get _______" you need to listen. The parent has reasons - and unless you see that the kids are being neglected or put in danger, please respect those reasons.

Now, I have two choices.

1. Find a place in this tiny-little zero-storage house to put the backpack, the shorts, and the jeans aside until they can be used (maybe in a couple of years).

2. Take all of the stuff, figure out when I have an hour or two of spare time, and return it to the store and exchange it for the stuff that he NEEDS.

UGH! Seriously - I am so mad right now! Maybe I'm overreacting. But come on - I am with this kid 24/7 - I know what he needs! If you ask me what he needs, and then turn around and don't listen, why did I waste my breath??? Why????

OK, rant over. Have at it. Tell me I'm the one who is being ridiculous - because seriously, I don't know if I'm overreacting to this or not. But this is how I'm feeling right now.

What NOT to say...

I got involved in a discussion with some friends the other night. One of them had posted an article that she had found online that listed things that shouldn't be said to someone who is childless. We came up with a whole list of things that shouldn't be said to someone who has "a lot of kids" (and yes, I know that "a lot" is subjective).

So here's the list that we came up with, in no particular order:

1. You know what causes that, don't you? As if having several children automatically means that you're an idiot or something. Yes, we know what causes children. Really, we do. At the risk of sounding crude, some of us really enjoy what causes children. But at the same time, some parents did not plan to have as many as they ended up with, some parents might have adopted or taken in someone else's children in an emergency, and some parents might have *gasp* planned to have a whole bunch of kids!

2. Oh, you have your hands full!!! Usually said to me at the grocery store when I'm in the middle of pushing a "car cart" with 120+ pounds of kid in it, trying to maneuver it through the aisles without taking off an end display or amputating anyone's body parts. I love when people ask me that and I only have 3 of the kids with me - I just smile sweetly and say "not today, I only have 3" and continue walking.

3. Are they all yours? Duh. Do you really think that I'd voluntarily bring this many kids to the grocery store/library/church function/doctor appointment? Yes, they're all mine. I have always hated that question for so many reasons: (a.) It's rude. (b.) It makes the kids feel like we are freaks because someone doesn't believe that they all belong to me. (c.) On the off chance that I do have someone else's kid with me, it makes that kid feel like an outsider.

4. Wow, your older kids must help you to raise the younger kids. What a shame. While this may be true in some families, it is not true in mine. I am raising my kids. Yes, the older kids help with the younger ones - it's only natural - but they are not "raising" their younger siblings.

5. I wish that I could have that many kids so that I could qualify for public assistance too. Wow. Really? I can't even begin to list the reasons as to why this one upsets me (and yes, I've heard it several times) so let's just leave it as one of the things to NEVER say to anyone. Never. OK? Good.

6. Were you trying for a basketball/football/soccer team? Yes, because that's my life goal. I want them all to forego their individuality and play the same sport for the rest of their lives. Get real - I can't even get them to play nicely together for an hour at a time! My actual plan in having 5 kids is so that I can have a brain surgeon, a lawyer, a dentist, a rocket scientist, and a movie star. I want to live in the lap of their luxury - or at least have them put me in a really cushy nursing home.

7. You must spend all of your time doing laundry! Thank you, Captain Obvious! Yes, I spend a great deal of time doing laundry - their laundry - but yet mine rarely ever gets done. So while they are clean and neat, I look like I just landed a starring role in the next "People of WalMart" video. Every time I get ready to throw a load of mine in, there's another load of peed-on sheets materializing....and you can bet that the stinky stuff gets washed before mine does.

8. I just don't know how you do it - I would go crazy! BWAHAHAHA!!!! Are you insinuating that I'm NOT crazy? Look at me - I have 5 kids! I could probably be diagnosed as clinically insane if I had the time to go see a shrink, for crying out loud! Yes, I'm crazy - but it's all a part of my charm, and it helps me to not take life so stinkin' seriously. For real.

9. Feeding all of those kids must be a challenge! Nope. I make a big pot of food, and put it in the middle of the kitchen floor. They all come running to it like a herd of wild animals and they fight to see who gets to eat it while I sit on the couch and eat bon-bons. Seriously? I make supper. I put it on their plates. They eat it. I clean up the mess. It's no worse than a dinner party or cooking for the extended family. It's all about perspective, people. Really.

10. I bet you can't wait until they're all in school! Duh. Of course I can't wait, and you want to know why? Because I can spend the first 4 hours that they're in school running around the house cleaning and doing laundry and actually getting it put away, and then maybe spend 2 hours running errands and going to the grocery store alone, and then spend an hour or so making phone calls while they're not screaming in the background - and then I go pick them up from school and it all starts over again. And if I get to the school early, I might be able to grab a 5-minute power nap before the bell rings and they climb into the van.

Long story short - think before you ask ridiculous questions. And if you ask them anyway, and you get a snippy answer - don't judge that parent. We all have good days and bad, and sometimes what you might think is an innocent question might be the very one that pushes the parent over the edge from Oh-I-Can-Handle-This to Come-Closer-And-I-Might-Just-Rip-Your-Head-Off.

Which way do I go?

I could go so many different directions right now. I really could.

I could totally go off about how a certain someone claimed to me that he made all of the necessary arrangements to ensure that his child support payments were being made since he switched jobs - but with one phone call today, I disproved that claim.

I could vent about how I totally rearranged my entire evening (and the contents of the van) so that I could go meet someone to pick up a bookshelf that I was going to buy, but when I got to their house, they weren't home and after I moved the 8000 pound bookshelf across the yard by myself I found out that it wouldn't fit in the van anyway so I had to drag it back across the yard by myself.

I could complain about grocery shopping today, but it really wasn't that bad. After all, I got enough stuff to last us darned close to a month (plus a lot of non-food crap that we needed) for under $300. Not too bad. I should only have to go back to get things like eggs and milk and stuff like that - or at least that's the plan. I did the same thing last month and it actually ended up working out really well.

I'm also glad that I got all of the bills paid today, so that's one job that's out of the way. The girls are signed up for basketball again (yay) so it's just a matter of time until that starts.

There are some really great things going on in my life right now. I mean, really great. I've been able to reconnect with some people from my past. My kids are doing great in school. Things in general are just going well. And for that, I am so very thankful.

And that's why I refuse to allow simple-minded people to bother me. Sure, crap happens that irritates me - that's all a part of life. I might even get downright pissed off at them - but I get over it. And most of the time, I sit back and laugh. I've just gotten to a point in my life where I'm just not going to let them get me down. They can try - they can post snarky comments on here to try to humiliate me. They can try to make me look bad - don't care. They can do anything that they want to do, but they can't get to me.

It has taken me a long time to get to this stage in my life. I used to stress about what people thought about me, but I don't do that anymore. I was always living my life for someone else, and not for the most important person - me. Not anymore. My kids and I come first - no one else. This is my life, and I will live it my way. No one has to agree with my choices - because they are MINE.



Don't like what I have to say? Then don't read it. It's as simple as that.

Another open letter.

Dear family of my late ex-husband:

I don't even know where to start this one. I really don't.

You have truly stooped to a new low - one that I didn't even think was possible to reach.

On February 5, Mary called me to inform me that a trust fund was being set up for Daniel and E. I gave Mary all of the information that she requested - Daniel's date of birth, his social security number, and anything else that she asked. She assured me that day that as soon as everything was completed, a copy of the paperwork would be mailed to me.

Big surprise - haven't gotten it yet.

Why do I need it? I need it to prove that I do not have access to any money that may or may not be in the trust. Why do I have to do that? It is required for income verification purposes for several programs - including preschool - for which Daniel is eligible. I was told that the trust exists, so I disclosed that on the applications. However, since I can't prove that I don't have access to it, all of the opportunities for Daniel are being pulled out from under his feet.

I called the bank - they refused to even speak to me, even though my minor child's name is on the account. So I had my attorney call, and they refused to speak to him as well.

So, because of your petty, selfish, vindictive, and controlling ways, Daniel most likely will not be attending preschool in the fall. It's a shame too, since he would benefit from it both academically and socially. And he'll lose his medical, dental, and vision insurance (along with the rest of my kids, who you have always *claimed* to love so very much). There were some other programs that I was looking into for him - but guess what? With my inability to prove that I can't access the alleged trust, he can't get into those either.

As for the birthday card that he received yesterday....I have several issues with that too.

First off, I divorced Jeff. I took my maiden name back - which was indicated by the return address on the previous letter that I sent to you. Show me a little bit of respect in that area, please. Your name is no longer mine.

Second - Don't tell me that you "hope all is well with you and the kids" because if you truly did, this situation would have resolved itself over 2 years ago.

Third - Don't bother to pray for us. We've got that taken care of by people who are involved in our lives.

Fourth - Don't bother sending a check (made out to me with my former married name on it) so that I could get Daniel "something special" from you. I give him something special every day - love from his family and friends. I don't need your money to do that. I don't need your money at all. I don't want your money.

In fact, I want nothing from you. Nothing at all.

No, let me correct myself there. I want the copy of the trust fund paperwork so that I can get Daniel into these programs. If the trust doesn't exist, then I want documentation from you stating that it doesn't exist.

If it does exist and his name is on it, I want you to remove it. Period. You have proven that you don't care about him. In fact, that's one area where you have gone above and beyond. Remove his name from the trust, make E the sole beneficiary of it, and stay out of our lives.

I'm done. You have had 2 years, 1 month, and 5 days to show that you cared about Daniel. A couple of cards here and there doesn't prove anything.

Please send me the documentation that I need. That is all that I want from you. Ever.

Thank you.



P.S. Glad that you find my blog so interesting - yes, I see you reading it. 40+ posts in one night? Really? Maybe you should have shown that much interest over the past 2 years. Be expecting the card and the check to be returned to you in the mail, along with a copy of this post, in the next few days.