What's really important?

Disclaimer: I've had a couple of glasses of wine. Forgive me if I turn the filter off for this one.

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Lately, I've witnessed a lot of people bitching about a lot of really stupid stuff. 

Seriously.

~ I've gained too much weight.

~ Someone cut me off on the way to work this morning.

~ My girlfriend broke up with me.

~ OMG look at what she's wearing.

~ He's a deadbeat.

~ I overslept and I didn't get to go to the gym.

~ I really want to buy this new bike, but I can't afford it right now.

And on and on and on it goes. I'm guilty of it just as much as the next person. I spent the day outside playing in the dirt and mud just trying to wrap my head around some recent events that hit entirely too close to home.

Our society has become one of total instant gratification, entitlement, and pettiness. 

We focus on the little stuff, and allow it to rule our lives. 

We judge. We criticize. We tease and bully and bitch and moan and whine and complain.

You know what we don't do? 

We don't pay attention. We don't focus. We don't listen.

We are so busy judging others that we forget to really see what is important. We are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that sometimes other people have problems that are bigger than our own. We forget that there is a whole world out there full of people who are struggling.

Hell, there are even people out there who are smarter than we are and who can actually help us - if we'd just stop focusing on ourselves and ask.

If there's anything that I've learned in my life, it's that someone always has it worse than I do. And no matter how awful I feel at the moment, I can always reach out and help someone - even if it's just a simple "hey man, I'm thinking of you" because I don't have anything else to offer. 

Why are we so self-centered? How did this happen? Why is it that in this day and age, we forget about everyone else out there and focus just on ourselves? When did we decide that it was ok to just forget about everyone else in the world?

Helping others has never been easier than it is right now. We can text someone with encouraging words and they'll get the message within seconds no matter where they are. We can send an email. We can make a phone call. 

We can go to the store and buy a greeting card and send it through the mail so that someone can get something cheerful instead of yet another bill in the mailbox. We can visit. And if we think that things might be getting really rough but we can't get there ourselves, we can get someone else to knock on the door and make sure that everything is ok.

So why in the hell are we not doing anything? Why are we allowing people who need help to go without? Why do we turn a blind eye to someone who needs help, and then act shocked when that person does something as horrible as taking others' lives along with his own?

We need to wake up. We need to focus. We need to reach out. 

We need each other.

We need each other now, more than we ever have.

Vehicles and Beds...

This is just going to be a quickie to answer some specific questions that have been posed several times over the past few weeks. I figured it was easier to just do it here....

The girls' beds....this is basically what they turned out looking like.

The first one is Emily's. She wanted hers to be lower than Sarah did, so this is what she and I designed. It's all just 3/4" plywood and there's a piece on the back (against the wall) to keep anything that is shoved into the cubbies from going out the other side - and to make the whole thing sturdier.

We are going to do the zebra duct tape on all of the edges - it's easier than sanding them all down and it looks cool. I think she's eventually going to paint the inside of the cubbies too, but that's up to her to decide.

Sarah wanted taller, so she designed hers to be taller - although it would drive me insane. I did put a second piece of plywood across the top of hers to further reinforce it to support the weight of her and her mattress. So far she has opted not to paint hers - we'll see if she changes her mind or not.

Both of the beds just take a standard twin-sized mattress. They are heavy and they are not going anywhere. Literally. They won't fit through the doors of the rooms.

Now on to the bigger question.....

The vehicle.

I still don't know what to call it. It's not really a van, or a car, or an SUV. I think technically it's a crossover, whatever that means.

Anyway......

My minivan died a few months ago, shortly after I paid it off. So I had to get something different.  But, I was in the middle of financing the house, so I couldn't run out and finance something else and risk screwing up my credit, right?

Enter the GrandpaCar - the Grand Marquis - I bought it from a friend's grandfather because I needed something that the kids and I could all fit into, but not have to be financed. It worked for us, but it was very crowded and uncomfortable.

I kept putting money aside into what I was calling the "house/van" fund - money to be used for both. I also got a very sizable tax refund which went straight into that fund. Once the house was settled and we closed and we had gotten done with the initial "big" expenses, I did some figuring and decided that I could start looking for another minivan. So I called a couple of the local dealerships and basically said "I need something used, inexpensive, mechanically sound, and can seat 7 - find it for me" and turned them loose.

One of them called me back the next day and said "I know you said minivan, but what about a Traverse? It seats 8....." The Dude and I went and looked at it with no intentions of buying it at all - I really just wanted to see how something that was NOT a minivan could seat 8 people. Long story short, I liked it. We went back home and I researched it and liked what I could find on the safety stuff and whatnot, and the price that they had on it was a couple of thousand below the blue book value. So we started talking money and I said that I was thinking about just scrapping my dead van - instead the dealership sent a couple of guys out to the house to look at it and they ended up offering me an insane (to me) amount of money in trade.

Between what they were asking for the Traverse, what I could afford to put down, and what they gave me for the dead van, I was able to get the payments under where I wanted them to be AND get a really good warranty on it. At that point, I would be stupid to not get it.....so I got it. I kept the GrandpaCar  for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is that I have a kid who will be driving in a few months - and whether she likes it or not, she can drive that. And since The Dude's truck is iffy at times, he can drive it when he needs to go out of town or whatever.

Any other questions? :)

You asked, I answered....

So a few days ago, I asked people to ask me questions on my facebook page. These are some of them - finally with answers!!!

Katie asked: How do you manage stress?? With all the kids work school ect you seem like you manage everything so wonderfully...How in the world do you do it??? 

I'll let you in on a little secret: I don't manage it all. I really don't. I'll give you an example.

See that chair in the picture? That's the chair that's in the corner of my living room. I walk past it about 873 times every day. See the pile of stuff on the chair? That's the stuff that came home in the boys' backpacks on their last day of school. In May. 3 months ago. It's still sitting there on that chair, and I still haven't touched it, and school started last week. I keep telling myself that I'm going to get to it, and it hasn't happened yet. So yeah, I keep up with the important stuff, most of the time - but I really don't have it all together.

Jessie asked: What are you future plans? How do you think others view you? What are your top 2 biggest insecurities? What are your greatest achievements? On your days off what do you do ideally? ... Okay thats all I can come up with for now lol 

Wow - lots of questions! I'll try to answer all of them.

Future plans right now include buying a house in the town where my older 3 kids go to school so that I can get all of my kids into the same school district to cut down on stress, chaos, and mileage. At that point, The Dude will hopefully be officially moving in with us, and we'll all live happily ever after.

How do others view me? I think that depends on who you ask. I'm sure that my boss considers me to be a scatterbrain, my family has all sorts of mixed feelings about me, my kids think I'm pretty cool some of the times and the meanest mom in the world other times, and The Dude apparently thinks that I'm pretty awesome with a touch of OCD. Honestly though, I quit worrying about what other people think and I just try to be the best person that I can be.

Biggest insecurities....I question my parenting tactics all of the time and wonder just how badly I'm screwing up my kids (that's normal, right?) and I'm always afraid of losing the people I love.

Greatest achievements? Easy. My kids. They are the best things that have ever come from me.

Days off....I don't get many of them, but I try to spend time with The Dude (fishing is always good) or with the kids if they're not in school - or I clean and do everything around the house that I can't get done any other time.

Lorena asked: don´t you just LOVE MOTHERHOOD?.....I LOVED IT WHEN THEY ALL ATE AT THE TABLE AND TALKED!! WHAT HAS been your favorite moments til now? Besides them being asleep at night!

Motherhood has been pretty awesome. It has had its moments when I wanted to curl up in a corner in the fetal position and never come out, but those little buggers force me to keep going no matter what. Dinners together - though few and far between - are amazing.....assuming that they all like what I made.

As for favorite moments....there are so many! All of the 'firsts' of course, and now that they're getting older I love being able to have real conversations about real topics with them, especially with the girls.

Bianca asked: Best thing about your new job? 

Oy. That's a tough one, because the job is hard. And it's not really that much fun. And the pay, while good, isn't great. And we all know that the hours suck. But I really think that one of my favorite parts is working with the teenagers and young adults. Listening to them talking about school and dating and college and hopes and dreams has actually restored a little bit of my faith in humanity. They're really a good group of kids.

Sarah asked: If you could change anything in your life, what would it be? if anything that is! 

There is only one thing about my life that I would change, and it's something that causes most people to look at me like I'm insane. But, I had my tubes tied after I had Daniel. I didn't really want to do it, but at that time it was the best decision to make. I do regret that decision because if I had my way I would have more kids (stop looking at me like that) - but, I can't change it now and at my age it's probably smart to not even think about starting over again!

Dianne asked: I want to know how you have so much energy with no little sleep each night? Please do tell...im a mom of 4 and i have 0 energy!

I've often said that it's simply a matter of survival. Before The Dude came into the picture, I was doing it all on my own. I had no choice in the matter, and I had no help. I had to get everything done, and sleep was not going to happen until I got it done. I'm still in that mindset to a point, although he helps me out tremendously around the house. At the same time, I know that my house is my responsibility and I try not to shove too much of that off onto him. I depend on caffeine (bad, I know) and I just keep moving, because if I sit down for too long, I'm gone.

Jennifer asked: What is your biggest fear?

Losing my kids or The Dude. I would be lost without them.

Kathy asked: If money was no concern, where is the first place you would travel? Who gets to go with you? 

Easy. Back home - back to Pennsylvania to see my family and friends. I try to make that trip every year, but we couldn't afford to do it this year and I hate that. Hopefully we can do it next year.

Gloria asked: Do you want more kids with the Dude ? 

See above. :)

Paula asked: Where did you meet the Dude? (Think we all want to see if there's anyone even remotely as brilliant as he is!) Did he chat you up, or you him, and what was the first thing that was said? Where did you go on your first date? 

There's a whole blog post dedicated to exactly that.

Donna said: No questions...just this: between you and the crumb diaries, some days both your blogs either bring a huge smile of delight to my life OR a tear to my heart and a reminder that my dramas are not as bad as I think they are. SO PLEASE...Just keep blogging and THANKS for sharing your life.

Thank you! I love the crumb diaries so much, and to be paired with her is a huge honor for me. She is amazing, and has become a very good friend in this amazing world of blogging.

Andrea asked: What is your favorite thing to do for yourself? Get your nails done? Read a book? Watch a movie? What? 

I used to do my nails all of the time, but I can't even wear polish at work now so that's out of the question. I love to sew, but I haven't been able to touch my machine in months unless it was to fix something - I have so many projects started (and that I have to start) but I just haven't had the time. Boo.

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So, that's it for this round. Sorry it took me so long to get to it, but you know, things are always crazy around here. I hate not blogging as much, but it's been so hard to find the time - I've actually been considering doing a few video blogs - that way I can say what I want to say while I'm driving or walking or doing the dishes or folding laundry or whatever - but with my horrible internet connection that might be more of a hassle than it's worth. I might try a short one in the next few days just to see how it works. Or I might not. We'll see.

You asked.....

Just in case you don't follow me on facebook, every now and then I ask people on there to ask me questions, and then I answer them in a blog post. I did that tonight, and this is what they asked me:

Michael asked: why are you so damn awesome? 

Ha. I'm not. The people who read this blog - they are the awesome ones. I just blab and ramble about my normal life, which is totally NOT awesome, but the interactions with the people who read it are what make it all worth it. THEY are the awesome ones, not me.

Erica asked: How do you feel about the tooth fairy letters fame? (I love it btw and will totally use it with my kiddos) 

Honestly, I hate it. I seriously wrote that thing in about 30 seconds and never expected anything to come of it, but it did. And it keeps resurfacing. And I keep getting bashed for it, even though Emily thought that it was funny. But, it is what it is and I can't change it now. So when I see it posted somewhere, I link my blog posts about it in the comments and just let it go - I honestly try not to follow it because more times than not, I'm getting bashed for my parenting skills over one piece of paper floating around the internet.

Michelle asked: Are you freaking out about Monday? I have faith 

Yes and no. I honestly think that the thing that I'm the most worried about is that The Dude is taking on so much responsibility with my kids. The job scares me, yes. The hours scare me, yes. But I know that this is going to be such a huge change for my family, and that scares me more than anything. However, this has come at the most perfect time, and too many things are falling into place at the right time so I can't ignore them. I have to go for it.

Jennifer asked: What are some of the worst things you've seen at work? I want details! (well, not too many details.. but, ya know)

I honestly think that the bare crotch coming through the drive-thru was the worst. Seriously, I can't get that one out of my head. Cover yourselves, people!

Lavinia asked: why is life more complicated than it has to be?

That, my friend, is the million dollar question. But at the same time, I think that people tend to make things more difficult than they need to be. Life is life - whatever is going to happen is going to happen,  and most of the time there is nothing that we can do to change it. Roll with the punches, don't worry about what might happen and deal with it as it comes. One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one second at a time - do what needs to be done to get through the moment, and then deal with the rest as it happens.

Bianca asked: Favourite movies? Two categories: with the kids, just you (or you'n'The Dude). 

For me alone, I can watch just about anything except for sci-fi/fantasy types. I'm a sucker for a good horror flick (yes, even alone) but I also love the typical "chick flicks", dramas, comedies, whatever. When it's me and The Dude, we tend to watch more zombie movies (his choice, but I deal with it) or whatever looks good. He's awesome though, and will willingly sit through a chick flick if that's what I'm in the mood to watch.

Heather asked: How do you manage to do all that you do on so little sleep?!? Because I am cranky butthole without it!!!

At this point in my life, it's just become normal for me. Ever since I split from Ex1 almost 9 years ago, I've lived on very little sleep. Right after we separated, I was working full-time plus a part-time job, and I just got used to it. I run so much during the day and evening that the only time that I have time for myself is at night after the kids go to bed. I know that it's not the best situation for me, so when I finally crash and sleep for 12+ hours at a time, I don't fight it much. Caffeine is my friend.

Maria asked: With how long you an the dude have been together do you think marriage is a possability ever?

We have officially been together for just over 20 months (wait, how did THAT happen?) and while I can easily see spending the rest of my life with him, I just can't see myself getting married again. I did that twice, and I got burned - badly - both times. I know that he's different, but at this point, no, I can't see myself married again. For me, emotionally, it's too big of a risk, and yes, I'm a wuss when it comes to that - and I freely admit it. I love him with all my heart - no doubt about it - but I don't want to get married.

And actually, I had to go digging but there are posts here and here that go into way more detail about that. Check those out if you haven't before.

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So that's that for tonight. I haven't looked back at my page in the past few minutes, so if there are more questions, I will answer them on a different night.

Questions and answers

Every now and then, when I can't come up with anything to write about, I ask the people on my facebook page to ask me questions so that I can answer them in a blog post. We did that tonight, and here are the questions....and answers!

Wendi asked: Any advice for a mom and daughter who are going to do their first 5k?

Resting after a 5K is always important.
Just ask Emily.

Coming from someone who runs jogs occasionally gets out and walks as a hobby and not seriously, the best advice that I can give is to just get out there and do it. Don't worry about your speed or your pace or anything like that - get out there and have fun. Of course, you should train beforehand, but you have to do what works for you. There are lots of great websites and apps that can give you pointers, but for me, I found that the best thing to do was to get out and walk/jog as much as I could in the months/weeks leading up to a race. I tried to steadily increase my distance but haven't really worked on speed yet. Hopefully when life calms down a bit I can get out there and do it again.

Shannon asked: Do you watch any reality tv, like The Voice?

Honestly, I don't watch any TV. Shocking, huh? But, I don't have cable (another bill from my past life that needs to be paid off but it's not a priority) and although I have a converter box to get the local stations, it died. So I have a TV that is useless, other than for DVDs. I don't even watch anything online because my internet connection isn't good enough - and honestly, I don't miss it. Once The Dude and I get moved into our new place, we will have cable though - and really at that point the only shows that I plan to watch regularly again are Parenthood and The Biggest Loser.

I did watch the first(?) season of The Voice, and I really liked it!

Sherrie asked: What compelled you to blog? Do you regret it?

See that picture of my boots up there at the top of the page? A couple of years ago, I had posted that picture on my personal facebook with a caption that said something like "oh, my old ugly boots, how I missed you!" because it had just gotten cold and I had dug them out of the closet, and I love those boots. Anyway, my friend Kat over at High Heeled Country commented and said "you should start a blog!" Discussion ensued, and I was convinced to do it. I believe someone actually said "I bet you could get 30 followers in no time!"

As for regretting it, the only thing that I really regret is not staying totally anonymous. There are many more things in my life that I could write about, but without anonymity I won't do it. And because this has gotten so much bigger than I had ever planned, I do try very hard to keep some things private - like our last names and specific information about where we're located. I don't ever want my kids to be embarrassed by anything that I've ever written.

Brandon asked: If you were a woodchuck and were able to chuck wood, how much wood would you chuck? On average, of course...

Enough to build a dream house for me, The Dude, his mom, and all of the kids.

Bianca asked: You share so much already!! Ok. If you could go anywhere on vacation, with no worries about cashola or the logistics, where would you go and, if you don't mind sharing, why? 

Right now, that's an easy question to answer. I would without a doubt head back east to Pennsylvania to see family and friends, take the kids back to DC (for more than a few hours this time), and visit our friends in Virginia again. My parents can't really make the trip out here anymore due to their age and health so it's up to use to get out there to see them. We make an almost-annual trip to do that and had planned to do it this year for a family reunion and high school (not a) reunion, but finances won't allow it. We have to focus on moving instead. Sometimes being a grown-up stinks.

Pam asked:How awful or not as bad as one would think is working where you do?

It's both. Since it's fast food, when we're busy, we're busy. Today, I ran my butt off from 6:30am until 2:15pm without a moment to breathe. People are cranky, coworkers snap at each other, and there are times when I have to do so many dishes that I could be buried under the pile of them and no one would notice. But, at the same time, the vast majority of my coworkers are really cool (even if I have clothes older than some of them), most of the customers are decent, and when I'm on drive-thru first thing in the morning I get to see some amazing sunrises. And occasionally half-naked people. Or men in dresses.

Bruce asked: If they made a movie about your life...what actress would play you?

Oh, that's a good one. I think most of them are too glitzy for me.....but if I had to choose I'd have to say Sandra Bullock. She's one of my favorites and she just seems so down-to-earth and easy-going.

Gayle asked: What kind of work do you do?

In a nutshell, it's fast food. I can't say which one (not that I would anyway) but while I'm there I mainly run register, prep all of the food for the grill on the mornings when I open, clean the dining room, and do lots and lots of dishes. It started out as just a few hours here and there while the kids were in school, but it's kind of fun...... on the good days. So I work when I can, without taking too much time away from the kids.

Suni asked: How do you manage I stay sane, or semi sane with how you busy you are?

Ha! Sane?? You call this sane???? OK, seriously..... I don't know. This crazy life is just normal to me. I live by my datebook, which keeps me somewhat organized but for the most part it's just what I'm used to at this point. When I don't have anything to do, I go insane with boredom! Playing around online and blogging is a great stress reliever for me, as well as sewing and doing crafty stuff, so I have my outlets when things get to be too much.

Questions and Answers

Every now and then I like to ask the people on my facebook page to ask me questions, and then I answer them in a blog post. I haven't done that for a while, so I thought that I'd do it tonight. And in less than an hour I had a bunch of really great questions!

Heather asked: Do you have any facebook stalkers?
Well, that depends on your definition of "stalker". As far as I know, I don't have any of the weird creepy I Am Watching Your Every Move And I'm Going To Find You And Lock You In A Box And Keep You Forever stalkers. But I do have a few people on both my personal profile and on my page who I consider 'stalkerish' - you know the kind who comment on virtually everything, or 'like' everything, or better yet - they see that I've commented on a public post (maybe on another page) and then feel the need to comment after I do even if it's a page that to the best of my knowledge wouldn't normally interest them. Now if I see strange cars start driving past my house every day.....I might start to wonder.

Dana asked: When did you know The Dude was a keeper?
That one's pretty easy. We hadn't been dating very long, but we both knew that our relationship had the potential to get serious. We were having a pretty deep conversation about it, and Daniel was playing on the floor in front of us. The Dude is a few years younger than I am, and he's never been married and doesn't have any kids, and this concerned me - I felt like if he chose to stay with me, he'd be giving up his chances to do both of those things - especially having kids of his own. I told him that I was worried about that, and he looked at Daniel and then looked at me and said "I can leave a legacy for this world that doesn't involve my DNA." That's the moment that I fell, but I didn't admit it to him (or myself) for quite a few months after that.

Carolyn asked: How is your and your older kids relationship with their stepmother?
For the most part, it's good. I know without a doubt that she loves the kids and that is the most important thing in the big picture. We do have differing views on a lot of things, but honestly, it hasn't been that big of a deal. We disagree at times, but that's part of life.

Heather asked: Who is YOUR favorite blogger?
Totally not fair! Honestly, I don't have a favorite. I'm horrible at reading other people's blogs because I do get caught up in my own stuff and then I run out of time. But here's a hint: if you want me to read your blog, just send me a link. I always say that I'm going to get caught up on my reading list, but yeah, it hasn't happened yet.

Heather asked: What parenting 'no-no' are you guilty of doing, just to get a little 'you' time, or to get the kids to listen to you?
To get them to listen? Ha. Garbage bag rampage. The biggest thing that they don't listen to me about is picking up their toys. If they refuse, I get a garbage bag and start chucking stuff into it - then the fear of losing their stuff kicks in and they get moving. I've had some people tell me that it's a horrible thing to do, but I say "you gotta' do what you gotta' do".

Heather asked: Will you come clean my house?
It'll cost you.

Heather asked: With that many people, do you do some {laundry} every day? Or do you let it pile up and just have a laundry day when someone runs out of clean underwear? (Like I do.) 
For the most part, it gets done every day, otherwise I just can't keep up. I try to do the older three kids' laundry when they're not here so that all of their stuff is clean when they get back. Everyone else's stuff gets done when it needs to be done. Since there are still occasional toileting issues, the laundry is pretty much always going. And towels....ugh, don't get me started on towels.....

Debi asked: Cream, sugar, or black coffee? (How did I not know this one, anyway?!)
Depends on my mood and what kind of coffee it is. If I'm out running around and stop to get some, I usually get a vanilla cappucino. If I'm at home and I'm making my own, it's usually with sugar, sometimes with milk, sometimes with both, sometimes black..... or if I remember to get it at the store I'll get some kind of creamer (usually vanilla). And you didn't know this because back when we worked together, I didn't drink the stuff!

Honey asked: Where the hell do you get all your energy to keep going everyday? It seems as if you never get enough sleep. Up late, up early, I wish I had half your energy. 
Amanda asked: It seems you do so much through out the day...how do make a schedule and stick to it? I'm a fairly new SAHM of only 2 and sometimes feel I get nothing done.
(I'm combining both of these because ..... well, because.)

Honestly, it's a survival thing. Being the only adult in the house, I know that if I don't get it all done, no one else is going to do it for me. After my first divorce, I worked two jobs and I got maybe 2 hours of sleep per night - but I had no choice if I wanted to survive. That habit has continued, even though I know that it's not good for me. I try to get as much done as I can during the day while the kids aren't here so that I can actually spend some time with them in the evenings, but it doesn't always work that way. Then I'm up late playing around on the computer because that's my me-time (but I'm also usually folding laundry or doing paperwork at the same time). At this point, I think I probably average 4-5 hours of sleep per night. It's not easy - but it's how I get things done. And every now and then I take a day when the kids are in school and I sleep and recharge.

And of course, caffeine is my friend.

Who Am I?

One of these posts is going around the bloggy world again. A blogger gets tagged in a post and is supposed to answer all of these questions and then tag a bunch of other bloggers to do the same thing - kind of like a chain letter - but way more annoying. ;)

But, my friend Heather over at My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream did it, and she tagged me, so I'm going to do it. Just because.

1. Where were you born? Maryland

2. Were you named after someone? I don't know where my first name came from, but my middle name was my grandmother's. Although I loved Gramma dearly and miss her every day, I don't really care for it hate the name so I don't use it. I don't even use my middle initial if I can help it. That really irritated the people who drew up the paperwork when Ex1 and I closed on our house - they used my middle initial even though it wasn't on any of the application paperwork, and I refused to include it in my signature. I can be stubborn like that.

3. How many children do you have? 5

4. How many pets do you have? None. And it will stay that way for as long as possible.

5. Your worst injury? That's a toss-up. In college I wrecked my bike while trying to avoid a car that had pulled out in front of me on my way to class, and I put the lens of my glasses up through my eyebrow and got some pretty significant facial injuries. Got to ride in an ambulance and everything and came home with all sorts of stitches sticking out of my face.

There was also the hip replacement but that wasn't really an injury.

6. Do you have a special talent? I think that's pretty subjective. I do a lot of sewing. And I can cook and bake stuff.  And clean. Oh, and I can roll my tongue too.

7. Favorite thing to bake? Brownies. People say that they're pretty good. And they don't come out of a box.

8. Favorite Fast Food? Ugh. Too much of it. My favorite is probably Arby's though.

9. Would you bungee jump? You know, I probably would. I don't mind heights at all so that part doesn't bother me. But I don't think that I could handle the going-upside-down-thing (partially because I don't think that it would be good to be tethered by my ankles with the whole prosthetic-hip-thing). If I could do it where I jumped feet first and stayed upright-ish, I think it would be pretty cool.

10. What is the first thing you notice about people? If they are positive or negative people. Having been in such a dark place myself for so long, I try to make a conscious effort to be around as many positive people as I can.

11. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

12. Any current worries? So many that I can't even begin to name them. Most of them are pretty  mundane, but a few of them are pretty big.

13. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly. Diet Pepsi, coffee, and attempting to drink more water. Ick.

14. What’s your favorite book? Uhhhhhhhh.........

15. Would you like to be a pirate? Not really. I love the water, I love the beach....but the whole being-on-a-boat-thing? Not so much. Might have something to do with not being able to swim.

16. Favorite Smells? The combination of Murphy's Oil Soap, leather, and horse. Or vanilla.

17. Why do you blog? Because my friend over at High Heeled Country told me to a couple of years ago. So I did. And surprise - it turned out to be really fun.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral? Probably "Only the Good Die Young" and "My Life" by Billy Joel.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm a nail-biter, big time. I actually tend to be really disorganized most of the time. I have a hard time following through with plans that I make. But I'm getting better at all three of those.

20. Favorite hobby? Crafty stuff. Running.

21. Name something that you have done that you never thought you would do? Have 5 kids with 3 different fathers. Not quite the life that I had planned (there goes that follow through again). Oh, and I didn't really plan those pesky divorces either.

22. What do you look for in a friend? Someone who doesn't take life so seriously and can be as goofy as I can be.

23. Favorite fun things to do? Anything outside, especially the lake with the kids in the summer. Snuggling up with The Dude to watch movies either with the kids or after they're asleep.

24. Pet peeves? Any repetitive noise - ticking, water dripping, snoring, DVD stuck on the menu screen, etc. Stupid drivers. Vehicles with attitudes.

25. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? The boys messing around in the living room.

Now that I have that part out of the way, I'm supposed to list 8 more bloggers to torture with this. But I'm not going to do that. Instead, if you have a favorite blogger - ask him/her to do it. And if they do, post a link in the comments here and then everyone else can check them out too.

You asked for it....

So every now and then I like to have the people on my facebook page to ask me questions, and I answer them. I did that tonight and although they were being a bit goofy, I decided to go ahead and answer all of them anyway.

So there.

Bruce asked: Why is The Weather Channel reporting from VA about a minor snow storm? And...how will we survive the blizzard? 

To the first part, I can say it's because y'all are a bunch of flatlanders, much like the people in Kansas. That, or it's just a slow news night. I'm pretty sure that YOU will survive your impending blizzard with your guitar, maybe some alcohol, and your beautiful wife by your side!

Alice asked: Will you still love me tomorrow? 

Always, my dear. Always.

Melissa asked:  Why does Nicki Minaj look like a Muppet from outer space?...

Ummmmm......who? Honestly, I've heard her name, but I really have no clue who she is. Am I showing my age, or my total lack of disregard for current pop culture? Or both?

Brown, black.
Plastic, wood, paper.
Crooked, straight.
My wall, my rules. :)

Rebecca asked: Why can't brown and black frames (on a wall) coexist? Is there some sort of frame law against such tyranny?

Oh, now that's a simple one for me. They can coexist. Very nicely too. But then again, I've never been the type of person to stick to decorating (or fashion) rules. I say if you think it looks good, and you like it, then go for it. Create your own style. Do something different. Think outside of the proverbial box!!! And then show me pictures, because I want to see. Seriously.

Jenni asked: I'm loving the questions! Lol. I have 1! Are we there yet?!

You would. Brat. And the answer is no, because we haven't gotten together for our day-long Bizarre Places of Kansas Photography playdate yet. We need to do that.

Then Jennifer decided to hit me with questions......so here are all of hers:

Jennifer asked: Well, you have been smoke free for six months now. Congrats! Do you still crave them? Also, I thought you re giving up caffeine. What happened toto that.

Toto went back to Oz. ;)

Seriously though, yes, I still crave cigarettes every. single. day. Especially when I'm around people who still smoke *hint hint*. It's hard. Extremely hard. But I do feel better without them and I really want to never pick one up again. Never ever.

As for the caffeine....yeah, well, I did really well until we went on vacation, and then I had to have some to drive. And some led to more, which led to more, which led back into the full-fledged addiction again. It's next on the list of things to go. Again.

How early is too early to send your kids to bed for misbehaving?

Honestly, as far as I'm concerned, it's never too early. They get warned, sometimes too many times. And when they've reached that point, they go to bed. It's been as early as 6:00pm around here a few times - and usually that child is asleep within a few minutes. I try not to use the going-to-bed thing as punishment unless I have to do it and I know that they are truly tired. I don't want bedtime to be turned into a battle because they always look at it as punishment, so it's used very sparingly.

Would you ever consider getting your kids cell phones for emergencies?

Well.....the girls had one that they shared. Ex1 and his wife were able to get one added to their plan for nothing (or next to nothing) so they did carry it on the few times that they were alone, or to practices or other events when they would need to call for a ride home. They proved that they were responsible with that, so we actually went together and got Sarah one for her 13th birthday. Ex1 and I both pay for it, so she has to follow our rules with it at each house. She's gotten it taken away from her more than once here for having her nose glued to it, but for the most part she's been ok with it. She does have certain expectations with it, and so far it's been ok. I'm not crazy about the idea, but in this day and age I do feel a bit more comfortable knowing that she has it. Emily still uses the other one when she is at activities, but she does not carry it with her at all times.

What is the first thing you would do if you won a massive lottery?

There isn't ONE thing, but a few things that are all kind of lumped together. First off, pay off all of my bills and The Dude's bills. Get us in the clear as far as debt goes. Buy us both dependable vehicles so that we wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. Build our dream house in the town that we are trying to move to so that all of the kids could be in the same school district. At that point, we are set - we are debt-free, we have transportation, and the kids are all in the same school. Those are the major hurdles that we are facing right now and once we clear those, we can figure out the rest of it as we go.

If you weren't with Dude, what celeb would you date if the oppotunity arose?

Do I have to pick just one?

Sheesh.....there is always my first love - Jon Bon Jovi. First celebrity crush, and yeah, still crazy about the man. Have you seen the picture of him in the Versace ad? Oh, hello........

There's also Denzel Washington. I don't know what it is about that man..... The Dude actually humors me and occasionally brings over a movie with Denzel in it for us to watch. He's so good to me.

Dierks Bentley. Love his curly hair. And his voice.

I think those are my top 3. For today.

Would you ever consider getting lasik (spelling?) surgery?

In. a. heartbeat.

I've been asked a lot recently if I would consider getting ads or sponsors on my blog in order to make money and I keep telling people that I'm really not interested. I'm not looking to make money or get freebies from doing my blog. However, if a sponsor were to come to me and say "hey, we'll do lasik on your eyes for free if you'll let us advertise on your blog" I'd be all over that. No questions asked. My vision has gotten so much worse over the years, I hate wearing glasses with a passion, I don't want to deal with the hassle of contacts (been there done that) and I just want to be able to see. Not to mention that I want to wear really cute sunglasses. Not dorky clip-ons.

Have you ever thought about making a daily chore list for the kids?

All. the. time. But have I done it yet? Nope. Why? Too many distractions. Life keeps getting in the way. However, it's something that I've been thinking about more and more and it's something that I want to do, but I'm going to have to do it slowly because otherwise they're just going to rebel against it. I need to figure out a time that I can sit down with all of them - possibly individually - and talk to them about it and my expectations of them. Things have gotten out of hand around the house, and they need to do more to help me. I know that.

What some people don't realize though is that as a single parent, it's hard. I can't be in two places in the house at one time. I can't be making sure that the boys are doing one thing and making sure that the girls are doing their thing at the same time. I can be watching over the boys while they do their thing, and the girls are getting into a fistfight behind my back, or vice versa. It's hard and it's stressful. Lists need to be made, but at the same time the kids need to have some input into them or it's never going to work.

I have to choose hope.

Today.....today was truly a horrible day.

By now, we all know what happened. We all know about the 20 children who lost their lives at the hands of a gunman in Connecticut.

We don't know the whole story yet, and we probably never will. We know bits and pieces of what happened, but those bits and pieces are disjointed and scrambled and out of order - much like my own thoughts and feelings right now.

I sit here tonight, still in disbelief. I didn't know about it until well after it happened because I was busy living life. I was busy living a normal every day life, while so many innocent children lost theirs...while my children were safe in their own schools, just as oblivious as to what was happening as I was.

How do I as a mother wrap my head around this?

The answer is simple.

I don't.

There is no way for me to comprehend the enormity of what happened today. None. I can not imagine the fear, the terror, the anguish that those families are having to deal with right now. Instead of planning holiday parties and trips to see Santa at the local mall, they are now planning funerals.

How does that happen? Why does that happen?

I could drive myself insane trying to come up with the answers. All I can do at this point is hope.

I can hope that the families who have been affected can somehow come to grips with this.

I can hope that this will never happen to another child, another school, another family.

I can hope that this will never happen to my family.

I can hope.

But because there are no guarantees in life, I can change the things that I can control. I can tell my kids that I love them even more often than I already do. I can hug them tighter, kiss them more, and appreciate having them around even when they are annoying each other and picking fights. I can love the messy rooms and the temper tantrums and the chaotic schedules and the dirty laundry - because it means that I still have my family. 

At the same time, I realize once again that it can all be taken away in an instant. It doesn't have to be a crazed gunman. It can be a fire, or an accident, or an illness, or any number of things. I never know what is going to happen, or when it might happen. 

All I can do is hope - and be thankful for every single day that I get with my family.

Questions and Answers

For the new people who are just starting to read my ramblings, every now and then I ask people on my facebook page to ask me questions, and then I answer them. It's fun to do and sometimes sparks some really interesting conversation.

So these are the questions that were asked tonight (oh, and I copy and paste these, so if there are typos, they're not mine!)..... 

Brad asked:  When is The Dude going to do another guest blog? Nor that there is anything wrong with UR posts. I just really like hearing what he has to say. As much awesome craziness comes out of UR head, he's got U beat in random craziness dept. Also, I'd like to see another "deeply personal" blog. The last one U did was great & I'm ready for another peek inside the woman that is Non-Stop Mom!! 

As for The Dude doing a guest post, we've been tossing that idea around for a month or more. He's willing to do one - it's just a matter of forcing him to sit down and do it. Maybe if enough people started nagging at him.... *hint hint* Seriously though, he is an awesome writer, and I would love to have him do one soon too.

The "deeply personal" posts - yeah, I don't do those very often. They can really take a lot out of me, and it's usually when something has been brewing for a while. However....I know I keep hinting around about this, but Friday will be a much deeper post than usual. I'm collaborating with someone on it, and it's an important message. So watch for that one for sure.

Laney asked: As a Mom, what do you think your biggest success has been? Your biggest failure? 

Good questions!

Let me start with the biggest failure, because it's always easier to criticize ourselves than it is to say something positive. What's ironic is that I was just thinking about this today. I honestly think that my biggest failure is that I couldn't save not just one, but two marriages. My kids went through hell throughout both divorces, and it still makes life difficult at times. I wish that they didn't have to go through that - but they did and I can't change it. The only thing that we can do is to move forward.

Which brings me to the biggest success, and I truly think that would have to be that I finally allowed myself to fall in love again. Finally allowing those walls to come down and to show both my strength and my vulnerability has made me a better person, both for myself and for my kids. I can now show them what a real honest-to-goodness relationship is supposed to look like, and that's something that they haven't really ever seen from me.

Kristie asked: You already have the work of ten normal people every day - I don't know how you do it, but its awesome! Any tips on how (logistically) to work in time for the beautiful walks you take those pictures of? If you go in the mornings does it help keep your energy up? And thank you so much for everything you share. You've brought much laughter and inspiration to my husband and me! :) 

First of all, thank you so much for the kind words - I really really do appreciate them so much! As for the time for the walks, I seriously have to schedule it. I put them in my datebook and I work everything else around them. I've been slacking lately and haven't been out for a couple of weeks, but I'm going tomorrow no matter what happens. I do try to go first thing in the morning because if I don't (like today) I get distracted and then I don't go. I do feel so much better when I go (after I get over the initial pain from my joints) and when I go regularly.

Wendi asked: When you do your monthly grocery shopping, do you do a meal plan for the month first, or do you just wing it? And what is your monthly food budget for you and 5 hungry ones?

Perfect timing - I'm sitting here with my grocery list in front of me, because tomorrow is the day! I try to plan out meals for the month. I figure the days that I have to cook (when all 5 kids are here) and plan a meal for each of those. I don't usually plan a meal for the nights when it's just me and the younger two because we'll eat leftovers or sandwiches, or make something super-simple. Having the older 3 kids here only half of the time significantly cuts down on my grocery bill. Once I have the meals laid out on the calendar, I make my grocery list, and then go through my cupboards and cross stuff that I already have off of the list. So far it seems to work fairly well - as long as we stick to the menu. I also try to stock up on the staples - macaroni & cheese (*barf*), canned tomatoes/sauce, spaghetti sauce, tons of flour and sugar, etc.  I can usually do it for under $300 - but I buy very little prepared food and make *almost* everything from scratch, which is way cheaper.

Jenni asked: How do you handle the kids getting violent with each other? My girls have been doing this more and more lately and it's driving me crazy. 

Million dollar question right there. It seems to be getting worse with all of mine too, and sometimes seems totally unprovoked. About the only thing that has worked so far is physically separating them and distracting them with something. Make one go get something (make something up) out of another room and make the other one go pick up [insert random object] off of the floor. Anything to get their minds off of beating the crap out of each other.

Jennifer asked: What are some of your easiest go to recipes for a quick dinner? I struggle figuring out meals...... 

The kids love macaroni & cheese (*barf*) and fish sticks. It doesn't get much easier than that, but I think it's gross. The other easy ones *looking at my list in front of me*....sloppy joes, burgers, tacos. I've also started *trying* to make 2 meals at a time when I have the stuff available. If I'm making a chicken pot pie, for example, I'll try to make 2 and stick one in the freezer. Then sometime in the future when I know I'm going to have a crazy day, stick it in the fridge the night before then just pop it in the oven the next night and BAM. Supper. So much easier, but it does take planning.

Sandi asked: How do you maintain your friendships? I only have two kids and am frustrated that I've lost touch with many wonderful friends. 

Facebook is my lifeline. I hate to admit that, but it's the truth. It's the best way for me to keep in touch, but at the same time, I don't have a lot of local friends. Geographically, most of my closest friends are about 30 miles from here so it's hard to just "pop in" to visit. I'm also in a mom's group (of course it's on facebook) for local moms and the group organizes playdates and such - but again, I don't live in the city so it takes some planning for me to be able to attend those.

Greg N Jessica asked: Do you have any picky eaters? Tips on getting one to eat? I have one on the spectrum and he. eats. nothing. It's driving me insane. Do you an The Dude go out on "dates"? If so, where have some of your favorite "dates" taken you/led you to do? 

Ugh. They are all so picky. I hate it. I don't know what it is with kids these days because when I was growing up, we weren't allowed to be picky. We ate what was on the plate and we didn't get an option. To some extent, I'm the same way with my kids though. I make supper, and if they refuse to eat it - that's their problem. Keep in mind - that's only if they *refuse* to eat it. If they try it and legitimately don't like it (I can tell when they're faking) I will get them something else - usually leftovers. If they're just being stubborn, I don't bargain with them. They aren't going to starve to death if they refuse to eat one meal - and usually they end up eating at least part of it by the time the meal is done.

As for The Dude and me going on dates - it doesn't happen very often, but occasionally we do. Our dates are usually during the day when the kids are in school though. Sometimes they're as fun and exciting as going grocery shopping together! Seriously though, we try to at least go out to lunch about once a week or so. We're on a mission to try all of the local eateries in town (instead of the chain restaurants) and we have found some wonderful little places to go to. Sometimes, we get to go out at night by ourselves, but that's very rare - between his work schedule and my kid schedule, finding the time to go and do anything alone is hard. Most of the time, we end up on family dates with all of the kids - and we have a blast!

Amanda Diane asked: Any tips on potty training? I have an autistic 6 year old boy and a NT 4 year old boy. Neither are even slightly interested in the potty or anything to do with it. Yay me. lol 

That's a toughie. I have no idea what to tell you other than (and you probably know this already) try to find something that's going to "click" with each one of them. Let each one pick his own potty seat or chair or whatever he wants to use, and pick what kind of underwear he wants to wear - things like that. Make it as much their choice as you can. And I would also suggest talking to their pediatrician to see if he/she can give you any ideas. Good luck!

Jennifer asked: How badly did The Dude curse you for photoshopping his Cowgirls jacket? Also, If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would it be and why?

Haha! I hadn't posted that picture on here yet, so you just gave me the perfect excuse to do it! He's said some pretty mean stuff and has threatened to "get even" with me - but he hasn't made good on his threats yet. I'm sure he will at some point though. I can't help it that his team sucks....and got stomped trashed trampled beaten by the Redskins on Thanksgiving Day. I guess all of that trash talking finally caught up with him. Darn.

Now, one thing for me for Christmas. Honestly, you have me totally stumped there. I really don't want anything. But if money were no object, I would love to get back to Pennsylvania for a few days over Christmas break to spend some time with my parents. However, since that's not going to happen we just have to start saving our money for TMOART:13.

Kim asked: So do you have a quilting machine or a regular sewing machine.. The one you use for your quilting contraption..lol 

That is just a regular sewing machine. It sits on a platform that moves along the quilt in order to do free-form quilting. I have a video of me actually doing it....somewhere. I just need to find it and post it.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So that's it for this round of questions. Always remember, you can ask me just about anything. If you stray into "forbidden territory" I'll let you know. But honestly, that territory is pretty small.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, on a totally different note - I would like to ask that you keep Sam and his family in your thoughts and prayers. He is in Jared's third grade class, and he has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I just found out about this last night, and I don't know any other details other than the family sent out a request for extra prayers tonight. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for his family right now.....so please, say a prayer or send a happy thought or do whatever it is that you do for this little boy.

Questions and Answers

So every now and then, I get bored lazy inspired and I ask the people on my facebook page to ask me questions, and I'll answer them in the blog. It's a fun way for people to get to know me better and it gives me something to write about when I really can't think of anything interesting.

This is what was asked tonight:

Jennifer asked: If there were only two football teams in the entire world, The Cowboys and The Bears.. Which would you choose?
This one is totally a no-brainer for me. I will always choose whoever is playing against the Cryboys Cowgirls Cowboys. Always. Without a doubt. Well, unless it's Pissburgh Pittsburgh - then I have a really hard time deciding who I hate more, but at that point, I might not complain too much if the Cryboys Cowgirls Cowboys didn't lose.

And yes, I know that The Dude is a diehard fan of that team that I despise - but he has to have a fault. If rooting for the wrong team is the worst one that he has, I'm ok with it. Plus, it gives us something to bicker about from time to time.

Mike asked: I am a stay at home dad and I play dolls with my daughter is it wrong for me to see the cute little dolls naked. Lol
I wouldn't necessarily say that it's wrong, as long as you are not thinking inappropriate thoughts about said dolls. Then you could be considered a freak.

Next!!!

Kristine asked: what chores do your kids do? My two are 9 and almost 11, and I need some ideas!!
You know, this question actually got me to thinking (I hate when that happens). My kids don't really have 'chores'. They have things that I expect them to do, like picking up their toys and keeping their rooms cleaned and basic things like that. But they don't really have a chore list. I just expect them to do what I tell them to do - sometimes that works, and sometimes that doesn't. For instance, I will wash and dry and fold their laundry - but I refuse to put the girls' stuff away. I make them do that, and then when they can't find something, it's their fault and not mine. (I learned that one a long time ago!) Jared and Alex will put their laundry away as well, but I still have to help Daniel because he's too short to reach his top drawers.

It's a little harder for me because the older 3 are only here half of the time - and really less than that now with the sports schedule. So to be completely honest, I try to do as much as I can so that they can focus on family and homework while they're here. As they get older, I do have them do more around the house - when they're here.

Mike asked: I will let my dog or cat play with the naked Barbies on the floor if and only IF they are missing limbs. But if the have all four limbs they get in trouble. Should I let the Barbies become dog toys? I'm afraid dfs is gonna walk in and find a dead Barbie in the dogs mouth.
Oh, Mike, Mike, Mike....first of all, kudos for only allowing the pets to mangle the already-dismembered Barbies. I would hate to think of your kids' reactions should Fluffy get a hold of an intact one. Personally, I despise Barbies so I'm all for allowing them to be chewed up and digested by the 4-legged members of the family, and if any social service agency has a problem with that, then they need to go back and look at their job descriptions again.

Heather asked: What's your favorite thing about Kerry?
Oh boy....how much time do you have? Seriously, there is so much about this guy - but I'll try to keep it short. Probably the best thing about him is that he gets me. I don't know how he does it, but he just knows what makes me tick. He and I were just chatting back and forth on facebook and he said something that made me smile - and I told him that I thought that it was cool "that even after this long, you can send me a message like that, and I sit here with this dumbass smile on my face" - and it's true. No matter what is going on in our lives, he can always make me smile. Our relationship is special in that we don't have to do anything amazing and exciting and exhilarating and whatever in order to enjoy the time that we have together - we are content to hang out with the kids, watch movies, chat on facebook if we're not together, run errands - it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we are together. It sounds cliche, but it's true.

Heather asked: If, given the chance, you had ONE WHOLE WEEK kid free, what would you do?
Oh boy. A week? Really?

I'd probably sleep for the first day. And if I wasn't sleeping, I'd be wandering around the house, eating random junk food and watching movies in my raunchy slept-in clothes and unbrushed teeth - just because I could.

That would only last about a day, because I'd get bored. Then I'd probably start cleaning the house. Like, really cleaning. Tearing stuff apart and organizing because I could do it without being interrupted or without having to stop to feed kids or break up fights or whatever.

And then I would sew. I would pull out all of my unfinished projects, spread them out all over the house to figure out what needed to be done, and then I'd sew and sew and sew until I got them all done.

Of course, spending as much time as possible with The Dude would also be worked in there too. Maybe we could arrange for him to have a week off from work at the same time - and we could win the lottery - and then he and I could go away for a few days, alone. Or skip the lottery part and we could just go pitch the tent out at the lake and hide away from humanity for a few days.

Heather asked: Do you still wear those boots?
(3 questions in a row, Heather? Really?)
Yes. I do.

The story of my boots...... Picture it. Sicily Pennsylvania, December 1993. I was preparing to start my final semester at Penn State, which consisted of my student teaching outside of Philadelphia (Norristown, to be exact). I had gone Christmas/school shopping with my mother, and I needed some new winter boots and a winter coat. Now, we've already established many times throughout this blog that I am not a girly-girl by any stretch of the imagination, so finding winter boots became a challenge. We finally went over to the men's department in some store and I found this pair. Yes, they are men's boots. I don't remember how much we paid for them or anything, but it wasn't an outrageous amount - because you know, men don't have to pay as much for functional boots as women do. Anyway, we bought them and a full length winter coat (that's actually a women's one though) and we left.

I have worn these boots every winter since then - and if my math is right, that means that this winter will be my 19th one with them. I love my big old ugly boots, and when they finally die I will be very sad, and I will never find a pair that is as wonderful as they are.

You can't see it in this picture, but the profile picture on facebook and on the one at the top of the blog itself - if you look at the right boot, there's black goo on them. That is tar from when I wore them to help build a Habitat for Humanity house when I worked in Wichita. I've worn them to do yardwork and to garden. I've trudged through snow and mud and all sorts of crap in them. And they are worn, and they are ugly, but I love them.

And, they are actually what started this blog.

Jennifer came back and asked: What's your favorite scary Halloween movie?
First off, I don't really "do" Halloween. I mean, I take the kids trick or treating and stuff, but I don't really like the "holiday" or "season" or whatever you want to call it.

But, give me a good horror movie any day of the week and I am happy. Seriously. I love a good horror movie. And I am just weird enough that I will sit here alone and watch them late at night. I love them all. Horror, blood and guts, you name it - I'll watch it.

Funny story - right after I moved into this house, I was watching "Pet Sematary" late one night. I had gotten it from Redbox and had forgotten just how scary it was. So I was a little edgy (best part of watching a scary movie) and all of a sudden, the front door of the house blew open with a bang, complete with leaves blowing in and swirling around on the floor. After I peeled myself off of the ceiling, I closed the door, and remembered to deadbolt it against the powerful Kansas wind - apparently I had gone out to smoke earlier that evening and didn't close the door tightly. Oops.

Angela asked: What are your favorite and most disliked parts of blogging?
That's a good one!

My favorite would just be 'doing it'. Whether it's getting something off my mind, keeping track of what the kids and I do on a daily basis, venting about something idiotic, or working through some issue that I didn't really realize that I had, I love being able to just sit here and type it out. I have no idea where I want to go with it - I don't think that I'm the type of person to turn it into a book or anything, but maybe someday I'll get it all printed up and save it for the kids or something. What I put out here is really ME - I don't sugarcoat, I don't make things up, I don't lie - it's totally a snippet of my life. I'm just amazed that people actually read it.

Oh, and the people! I love the people who I have "met" by doing this - both online and in real life. It's an amazing community and I am thrilled to be a part of it.

My most disliked parts....... There have been times when I've taken some pretty harsh criticism of something that I've done or said - and that's never fun. But at the same time, it's what I get for putting myself out there for the world to see so I can't really complain about it too much. There will always be haters and there will always be people who don't approve of what I do - but I'm really ok with that.

Honestly, my least favorite part at this point is Blogger's "new and improved" interface. You readers don't see it, but those of us who use it for our blogs do, and quite frankly, it sucks. It's another example of a company thinking that they need to improve upon something that is perfectly fine to start with - and in the process of "improving" it, they screw it up instead.

Laura asked: Can you keep what happend. On American Horror Story a secret for another hour or so????? I just started it!
Sure, I can do that. Mainly because I have no idea what you're talking about..... LOL

Pam asked: Why did you decide to keep secret what happened a couple weeks ago?
Ah yes, the incident. There are a number of reasons why I won't go into specifics about that one.

I do put a lot of us out there for the world to see. Had I known when I started this blog that so many people were going to read it, I never would have used our names or our pictures - but I did and I can't take it back now. So all I can do is try to protect ourselves from the scariness that is the real world.

I won't use our specific location. I won't use our last names. I do my best to blur out identifying details in pictures that I post. I have filters in place on my facebook page so that comments that contain certain words are automatically hidden. I do what I can to protect myself and my family online.

However, what happened a couple of weeks ago was not something that I could control. I was not able to be the protector in that situation, and to put it bluntly it scared the hell out of me. It was not a "blog thing" - it was a "real world thing". Luckily, everyone is fine. Given the situation, it could have been ugly and horrible and awful. But it wasn't. It's ok.

At the same time, there is a police investigation that is still continuing - and that is a big factor as to why I won't say anything about it just yet. Once I know that everything is resolved and that all of the loose ends are tied, I may divulge some of it - but I might not. I just have to wait and see how it plays out in the end.


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So there you have it - the answers to your questions (for tonight). I always tell people - if you have a question for me, just ask. You can comment here or on facebook, or you can send me a message on facebook or an email. I'll answer it - or if it's something that I can't answer, I'll tell you that too.

You asked....I answered...

Every now and then, I like to get people on my facebook page to ask me questions, and then I answer them in a blog post. This is my easy way to get around the whole I have no idea what to write about tonight problem that happens every now and then....

Tonight's questions...

MissAmber asked: well i am a step mom and have been wit my husband for 3 yrs we jus had a baby what are some good bonding things to do as family

Family things - there are so many things that I can come up with here, but not knowing the ages of the stepchildren might make it harder. So I'm just going to toss out ideas.

I'm always on a tight budget, so I like to do things on the cheap. We try to get a zoo membership each year so that we can drop everything and go there at a moment's notice. (We haven't done it lately though.) We pack lunches and go and spend the day. We also go to parks and playgrounds, or to the library, or even just make a really super simple meal (sandwiches and chips, anyone?) and eat outside at the picnic table. Remember, you don't have to spend lots of money to bond - the key is to spend time together as a family.

Another thing to remember is that all kids need one-on-one time too. Make it a point to spend time with each of the kids doing something that he/she enjoys, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Kerry asked: What's the craziest thing you've heard one of your kids say?

That one's easy, babe. It would have to be any one of the kids asking "When are you and [The Dude] going to get married?"

They're insane, I tell you. Totally insane. I don't know where they come up with these crazy ideas - but I make sure to put them in their place whenever they ask.

I mean seriously, a zombie t-shirt with the tutu? I love you and all, but....I have to draw the line somewhere.

(Remember, I love you!)


Robin asked: Do you ever do ANYTHING that is JUST for you? Not the house, not the kids, not the Dude??? You work too hard, Mom.

Well.....I was thinking about this earlier this evening as I was sewing together a charity quilt, and I don't get a lot of time to myself yet, so there isn't much that I do just for me. Although my blog and my facebook page are my outlets at this point, because even the crafty stuff that I do is usually to sell in order to get money to support the kids and the house - but I enjoy doing the crafty stuff.

However, when the littlest munchkin starts going to school full-time and I have 7 1/2 hours to myself every day....I might start enjoying myself a bit more!

Amanda asked: My fiancé and I are getting married on the 22nd. He does everything around the house and loves my boys unconditionally. Can you suggest something nice I can do for him? He's a gamer nerd and never thinks of himself. What have you done for the Dude?

First of all, congratulations! I wish you nothing but the best! Sounds like you got a good guy there, and we all know that those are hard to find. As for something nice to do for him - I don't know much about the gamer stuff, but I would definitely suggest that you go and visit my good friend over at Life on Pause - he is the guru of all things game-related and he can definitely give you some ideas!

As for what I have done for The Dude - I love to cook, so making a meal for him is always a treat for both of us (especially since he helps to do the dishes). Or it'll just be the little things - grabbing something to drink and stopping by his house or his work to give it to him, sending him cute silly notes online, leaving him notes on his van. It's just goofy little stuff, but it makes him smile (I think - either that, or he thinks that I'm totally weird).

Juliet asked: Mum of 6 here, just wondering if u do get any spare time with nobody home and nothng 2do, do u sleep? Lol i know i do!

Six kids? Wow! You beat me by one!

As of right now, I get about 3 hours to myself each day while my youngest is in kindergarten. However, 3 hours just isn't enough to really do much of anything. I'm always afraid to take a nap because I'm worried that I won't wake up in time to pick him up, and I don't want to be THAT MOM who forgets to pick her kid up from school (no, I only forget to take them TO school). Instead, I usually go walking/jogging, or I come home and clean or play around online. However, once he starts school full-time (In 29 days. Yes, I'm counting.) I may start scheduling naps for myself!

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So there you have it - answers to tonight's questions. Don't forget, you can always ask me anything. Leave it in a comment here, post it on my facebook wall, email it to me, whatever. It's fun, and it gives me ideas when I can't think of anything to write about!

Questions and answers

It's another one of those nights where I can't focus on anything long enough to sit down and really write a "real" blog post....so I cheated again and asked on my facebook page if anyone had any questions that they wanted me to answer or anything in particular that they would like for me to write about tonight.

Here's what they've come up with so far....

Angela asked: Do you have fun crafts you do with your kids?
Funny you should ask that tonight. For whatever reason, when the older 3 kids came home from their father's house this morning, they brought waterpaints with them. Oh, yay. Anyway, we were out running around this afternoon and we had to stop at the store, and they decided that they were going to use their money and buy some posterboard. Next thing I knew, the five of them were sitting on the living room floor, painting and arguing and having a good time.

They all do like to do artsy stuff, but they like to do it on their terms. They usually don't like to sit down as a group and work on something with me leading them. They just want to do. The girls are into it more than the boys, although the boys are definitely into the coloring thing at this point. The girls have also attempted to sew some, and they are both working on some needlepoint coasters that they want to sell, but they don't have the stick-to-it-iveness to get them done, although what they have finished looks really good.

*Mental note: don't forget to scrub paint off of the hardwood floor before going to bed tonight.


Shannon asked: have you ever had or made tomato preserves?
I have had them, but I've never made them. When I was growing up, we had a huge garden in the backyard, and we grew just about everything and Mom did the canning. I've never had a big enough garden to do much in the way of canning (see the question after the next one....).

Stac asked: Do u sleep?
I do. Nowhere near as much as I should, but I do sleep. This summer, while the kids have been out of school, I've typically been going to bed around 2:00am. Depending on how many kids are here at the time, I can sometimes sleep until anytime between 7:00 and 9:00am. I don't get the chance to take a nap during the day because we're either out running around or I just have too much to do in order to get a nap. Once school starts, I have to force myself to go to bed at a more reasonable time because I have to be up by either 5:30am or 7:00am, depending on which kids I have that morning and which school district I have to get to first.

Angela asked: If you have not had tomato preserves, what do you anticipate most about our jam trade?.... Seriously though, you do a bunch of canning. I know you pick your own plums. Do you grow any of the rest yourself? Or purchase? And why?
Our jam trade - Hmmmm....I really just can't wait to see what you come up with! You mentioned several different things that you make that I would love to try, so when we get around to it I think I just want you to toss in some different stuff and surprise me with it! ;)

Right now, I don't grow any of the stuff myself. I do have a couple of jalapeno and tomato plants in buckets on my porch, but with the summer's brutal heat, I'm not getting much off of them. My house does not have any outside water source, so it would be impossible for me to plant a garden and keep it watered - plus my neighbor has walnut trees that puke their nuts all over my yard in the fall, and from what I understand they release something into the soil that makes it virtually impossible to grow anything. So, as much as I would love to have a huge garden, it's just not in the cards until I move out of this house.

The Dude and I have already talked about this at length - when I move out of this house (next summer at the latest) we will most likely be moving in together - and we plan on having a huge garden and doing tons of canning and trying to be as self-sufficient as possible.

When I do have to buy stuff for canning, I try as much as I can to buy the local stuff. I pick the majority of the stuff that I can though. In fact, we have to get out again in the next week or so to pick sand plums again (next time The Dude has a day off and we have a minimal number of kids) and hopefully by then the pears will be ready as well. The property where we pick is owned by friends and they have given us permission to pick as much as we want to, and so we happily oblige!

But for right now, I am going to head back into the kitchen and work on a batch of watermelon pickles - and yes, I will be posting the recipe that I use to make those in the next few days sometime!

Why is it.....

...that when I have ideas for blog posts rattling around in my head all day, I can't think of a word to write when I finally sit down at my desk?

...that cold pizza is not a food group?

...that no matter what I do to organize this house, it still looks like a tornado just went through it?

...that on the nights that I plan to go to bed "early", I'm still up at 2am?

...that no matter how much laundry I do on any given day, there is still so much more left to do?

...that when I'm running late, I get stopped by a train?

...that I can keep my checkbooks balanced to the penny on an almost-daily basis, but can't remember to take the coupons (or the list) to the grocery store with me?

...that I can't remember to call people until the middle of the night, when most normal people are sleeping?

...that everything seems to break at one time?

...that this squirrel was laying on my sidewalk in my backyard, completely sprawled out, gnawing on a walnut for over an hour today? Was he drunk? Too tired to sit up like a normal squirrel? Were his little paws too tired to hold the walnut?

...that after all this time, I am still hesitant to write the "really deep" posts that I sometimes want to write?

...that I have another 5K coming up on Saturday, and I haven't done a single thing to prepare for it?

...that I can run myself ragged all day long doing things around the house, and still feel like I didn't get anything done?

...that I have so many crafty ideas in my head, but can't seem to get any of them made?

...that I don't have any chocolate in the house?





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