Trying to wrap my head around this...

Remember the other day when I talked about the house? I've been kind of trying not to think about it a whole lot because I just know that my credit isn't good enough to get the financing for it. But finally, last night, I shot a message to a friend of mine who is in the real estate business - just to pick his brain. We messaged back and forth a bit today, I showed him the listing for the house, and he told me that the first thing that I would have to do would be to get a hold of my credit reports.

Ugh. Really? Do I have to look at those numbers?

So, I sucked it up and I did it.

And I was stunned. In a good way.

Granted, my credit is not stellar. I went through a really rough patch during the separation and divorce from my second husband. I was barely working and wasn't making enough money to pay the bills. I paid my utilities and bought groceries, and there was nothing left over after that. A lot of bills didn't get paid. There just wasn't enough money to do it.

Honestly, I don't think that people realized at the time - and maybe not even now - but we were beyond broke. I didn't know where my next month's rent was going to come from, because I certainly didn't have it. I was in a dead panic, trying to come up with a solution after months of sticking my head in the sand and ignoring what was happening - and then I found out about the survivor benefits that we would receive after my second husband's death. We got the first checks just days before my rent was due, and I was able to pay everything that needed to be paid - plus some - and was finally able to breathe a little bit easier.

Don't get me wrong - getting those benefits still bothers me. The fact that I get money because my ex-husband passed away is something that I don't think that I'll ever get used to. I never wanted it to be like this, but it is what it is - and it allows me to focus on the kids and what they need, and it allows me to be with them rather than working.

Anyway....the credit reports.....

My credit isn't stellar. No doubt about it. There are several things on there that are going to be red flags to any lender - but most, if not all of those things, are from that period in my life. The current stuff is all good. And based on my credit scores, my friend thinks that I might actually be able to get financed to buy this house.

Wait...what????

Me? Buy a house? Seriously??

A year and a half ago, I was on food stamps and days from being homeless. And now, there is a very real possibility that I could buy a house. Even if it's not the house that we want - even if I have to take a few months to clear up a few things on my credit report - I might be able to buy a house.

This is all so surreal to me. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be in a position to do anything like this again. And it's really hard for me to even think about at this point - I mean, even after we looked at the house and talked about it, I didn't really think about it too much other than "yeah, that would be nice" because I didn't think it could happen. And now, I'm starting to realize that it can happen. Granted, it still might not work out, but there's a very real possibility that it will.

So, say some prayers, send some happy thoughts, cross your fingers, and maybe this will happen for us.

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On another note, I had mentioned the other day that I was going to auction off some quilts (or maybe that was last night?)....anyway, if you're interested, take a look HERE.... There you'll see photos and instructions on how to bid. Even if you don't have a facebook account, you should be able to see the pictures - and if you aren't on facebook but still want to place a bid, please contact me and we can work it out! Thanks!