You don't like me. You don't approve of my choices. You like to judge me.
Guess what? I don't really care.
I've been thinking about this since the other night when someone left a rather rude comment on my post about setting up the Transmission Fund for my van.
I've talked about this a couple of times before...
I don't have a "REAL JOB". I don't have employment outside of the home or whatever you want to call it. I'm not self-employed, and right now I do absolutely nothing to earn any money.
See that, haters? I freely admit it. I don't earn any money.
I take that back. I do sell some things that I make - but it's not "regular" income.
Instead, the kids and I live off of Social Security. Daniel and I get survivor benefits because his father - my second ex-husband - passed away. I also get a little bit of child support for Alex.
Without getting into specific dollar amounts, suffice it to say that enough money comes into this household on a monthly basis that I do not have to work. We are not living in the lap of luxury by any stretch of the imagination, but the bills are paid and we usually have a little bit left over each month.
Some people don't think I deserve it. Some don't think that I should get it at all, but it is what it is. I'm eligible for it, and I get it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: it's a crappy way to get the bills paid, and it's not what I wanted or expected when I married Jeff.
But, whether I wanted it or not, I get it. And what does that mean for me and for my kids?
It means that all of our bills are paid - including some bills that aren't my sole responsibility, but rather than suing an estate to get them paid, I'll just deal with them.
It means that I get to focus on my kids - all of my kids.
It means that I get to occasionally save enough money to do something fun with my kids, like take them on vacation to see Washington D.C. and The Gateway Arch and family members who live half of the country away from us.
It means that when one of my kids is sick or injured, I can stay home and be a mom and not have to worry about whether or not I will get into trouble for taking a sick day.
It means that when one of my kids' classes needs a volunteer to help, I can do it.
It means that when one of my friends needs help, I can do it.
It means that I can take the time to do the things that I need to do for myself in order to be healthy - both physically and mentally - and to be the best mom that I can be.
It doesn't mean that I'm lazy. It doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. It doesn't mean that I'm a horrible mother or any of the other things that I've been called. It just means that I'm making the best out of a situation for which no one can ever truly be prepared.
It also means that we don't have a lot of spare money lying around the house. I wish that we did. Had the transmission gone out of the van before we went on TMOART:12, we would have used that money to fix it and skipped the vacation. But the fact of the matter is that right now, we don't have the money to fix it.
So that's why I asked for help.
I asked. I expect nothing.
I am beyond grateful for what has been given so far. $153.43 is the total currently in the fund. More than 90% of that has been given by strangers. I am shocked and amazed at the generosity of these people - people who know nothing of me other than what I've put out here on this blog.
I know that regardless of what I do in my life, I will have haters. And I'm ok with that - because I'm happy with who I am today. So, you can either keep your snarky comments to yourself, or grow a set and drop the anonymity and say what you want to say. I'm done being afraid to speak my mind and say what I want to say for fear that the haters will rear their ugly heads again.
This is MY life.