Yeah, you. I'm talking to you. The one who promised me that he'd never walk out on his son. The one who was always the "good dad" out of the three that my kids have.
It's now been two months since we've heard from you. Two full months.
You last saw him on May 1. It's now July 1. Still no visit, no phone call, not even a text.
If you thought that I was angry before, you don't want to see me now. You've seen bits and pieces of my temper before, but I've never really had to show you how angry I can get.
But apparently, you're just taking it for granted that I'm going to continue to be the easy-going mother-of-your-child that I've always been. I've always been understanding and willing to work with you when it came to you being able to spend time with him.
Guess what? I'm done.
Don't expect to be greeted nicely when and if you decide to show up again. He's been asking about you on an almost-daily basis now, and he's starting to get mad that you haven't been around. Even the other kids have been asking why you've disappeared, and all I can tell them is the same thing that I tell Alex: "I don't know."
Sarah even told me flat-out the other day that she thinks it's "pretty crappy" that you haven't been around. She's pretty smart for only being 11 years old.
What is so important in your life that you can blow off your son for 2 full months?
It's not like distance is a factor, unless you've moved again and haven't told me. I can only assume that you're still working here in town since the child support checks are still coming regularly. Does making that payment every 2 weeks make you feel better?
If you have no intentions of seeing him again, that's fine. I can deal with it. But I'm not going to contact you. You have my number - it hasn't changed in probably close to 10 years. You know where I live - you've been here numerous times. I'm not going to force you to see him again, so that you can disappear on him again. This is crap.
If an 11-year old can see it, why can't you?
It kills me to see dads like this, especially when I'm not that dad (but get called every name in the book from miss baby-mama).
ReplyDeleteI have distance as an excuse, but I still pick up the phone. I write letters. I visit when I can. I REFUSE TO BE A DEADBEAT DAD.
To this guy: Shame on you.
What a loser!
ReplyDeleteBruce
This makes me so angry and so sad for Alex. Hell, when Alex is asking me about his dad who I have never even met, that should tell the guy that his son is missing him badly!!! Hoping for Alex's sake that his dad comes around and becomes and MORE IMPORTANTLY STAYS in his life!! Hugs to all of ya!
ReplyDeleteLost - as far as I know, his father lives 10 miles from here. He's moved several times in the past year or so as he's gone through a separation from his wife, but still, he works a mile away from my house. ONE MILE. And he can't come by and say hi? Pick up the phone and call? Send a text message? It's driving me nuts.
ReplyDeleteBruce - you got that right. And I never thought that I would say that about him.
Lori - It kills me. He needs a good male role model in his life on a regular basis. His father was always just that - until this past year when it's dwindled away to nothing. I'm just so fed up right now.
Wonder if we'll see him before we leave for TMOART:2011?
I feel for you. As a single parent by choice, I know how difficult it is to discuss the "dad" issue when my kids bring it up. To have to explain this seems even harder.
ReplyDelete=(
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you and I have very similar "daddy-drama"
I'm sorry your children have to go through this, and I am sorry that you are the one to pick up the pieces, with limited answers (for the probably never ending questions).
It sucks, trust me, I know.
**HUGS**
Not having a dad around is really hard, even if the dad really sucks. Take my word for it. I was glad that my parents split when I was younger, but in retrospect, I never really saw my dad again after that (except on holidays) and now I wish I had more time to learn from him, even if he was pretty crappy at the whole dad thing.
ReplyDeleteAMY, I'M FEELING SO SAD FOR ALEX.
ReplyDeleteYOU HAD TWO KEYS THINGS YOUSAID IN THE ABOVE STATEMENT YOU WROTE.
1 HE'S DRIVING YOU CRAZY.
2 ALEX NEEDS A ROLE MODEL.
DO YOU REALLY NEED HIM AS A ROLE MODEL? UNLESS HE'S SICK AND NEEDS HELP HIMSELF. IF IT WAS ME I'D FIND A BIG BROTHER TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR HIM. ASK YOUR PASTOR FOR THAT HELP.
JUST MY THOUGHTS.
HUGS, GRANNY
How can someone not want to spend as much time as they can with their child? I simply do not understand it.
ReplyDeleteIf that's really your granny above giving you such sage advise, then I'm *swooning.*
ReplyDeleteYou are blessed, despite this Dickhead Dad.
Hang tight, and many Mwahs to Alex!
You guys are all wonderful...you really are. The situation is driving me crazy, and making me angry, and making me sad, and everything. Alex's father *was* always a good role model - and he probably still would be, *if* he were ever around. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteIt just breaks my heart to know that not just one, but now two of my boys have absent fathers. It's not fair to them.
And Sid - no, Granny is not *my* Granny. But she does have some very wonderful words of wisdom, and I am so happy that I'm getting the chance to know her! :)