What Makes a Hero?

Unless you've been living under a rock lately, I'm sure that you've seen the hoopla created by Caitlyn Jenner's magazine cover. I usually try to avoid commenting on controversial stuff just because I don't like the drama, but there's one aspect of this one that I just can't shove under the rug.

Let me start off by saying this - I fully support Ms. Jenner's right to do whatever she wants with her body. It's her choice. I may not "get" it and I may not understand it, but at the end of the day it's her body.

I fully support equal rights - for everyone.

I don't care what religion anyone is.

I don't care what color anyone is.

It all boils down to this - if you're a good person, you and I will get along just fine. But if you act like a dick, go and do it elsewhere. Period.

I'm also going to say this - my cousin is in the process of transitioning from female to male. So if you're going to bash anyone in the transgender community, you're screwing with my family. Trust me - you do not want to go there.

Now that all of that is out of the way.....

I've seen several memes floating around questioning whether or not Ms. Jenner is a "hero". Generally, it's a picture of her side-by-side with a picture of a war veteran who has obvious injuries.

Is that veteran a hero? Damned right he is - no question about it in my opinion. My father, my brothers, my nephews, and too many of my friends to count have served (or are still serving) in the military and every single one of them is a hero to me.

Does everyone agree with that? No. There are some people who are anti-war or anti-military for various reasons, and they don't believe that these people are heroes. Do I agree with them? No. Do they have the right to believe what they do? Yes.

What about a police officer? A man who had an officer rescue him from an armed robber might consider that officer to be his hero, while a man who was wrongfully arrested for a crime he didn't commit might not think that officers are heroes.

How about a teacher? She might never put herself in physical danger in her classroom, but the little girl who looked up to her and decided to be a teacher herself might consider that woman to be her hero.

What about the neighbor who called 911 when she saw smoke coming from a nearby home? Because of her call, the house was mostly saved from destruction. I wouldn't be surprised if the homeowner referred to her as a "hero" during an interview later that day.

What about the child who was climbing around on his brother's bed and got his leg caught between the mattress and the headboard and had to yell for his mother to come and "rescue" him? What if he brought this piece of artwork home from school a few weeks later and handed it to his mom, proudly saying to her "you're MY hero, Mom"?

Are you going to tell him anything different?

Caitlyn Jenner might not be a hero to everyone. She might not be a hero to the majority of people in the world. But I promise you this - somewhere, there is someone struggling with his/her sexual identity who is looking up to this woman and who is thankful that she has had the courage to take a very private journey and share it with the world. And that someone might just consider her a hero for it.

We don't have the right to tell other people what to do with their bodies.

We don't have the right to tell people that their belief system is wrong.

We don't have the right to dictate who can or can't be a hero to someone else.

What we do have the right to do is simple -

Stop judging. Be nice. 

Seriously. It's that easy.

One of those days....

Today has just not been fun. Seriously.


It took me a while to even get motivated, but once I did I finally started working on my shower some more. Luckily, the tile on this wall doesn't have to be cut to size at all, so it went fairly fast once I got started. But, getting all of the tile work done is going to take forever and at this point, I just want it to be done. I want my shower back. But of course, once I get the shower done, we have to redo the floor - it's a neverending battle at this point.

(And in case you're wondering about the crazy tile - the light blue tile is what was in there originally. I pulled that off, and I'm putting it back. However, some broke in the process and we couldn't find the same lovely shade of baby blue. So we bought a couple of boxes of white to mix in with the blue. Rather than try to make a perfect pattern, I just opted to go with a random one.)

Once I decided I was done working on the shower for the day (as in - once I ran out of the mortar I had mixed) it was time to run to the grocery store for a few things. Right about then my phone rang, and I had to run and pick up a "sick" kid from school. I say "sick" - I think I got snowed on that one. Live and learn. We went to the grocery store, got what we needed, ran through the carwash and came home.

Once the other kids got home, the chaos just escalated - and boy, did it escalate.

Crappy attitudes. Temper tantrums. Whining. Fighting. Arguing. Slamming doors. Neighbor kids coming over to play and doing stupid stuff so that I had to yell at them too. Constant yells of "Mom!! I need _____!!" or "Mom! He said _____!" or "Mom! She _______!" One kid flipping another kid the bird. One falling off of a bed (after jumping on it) and getting hurt. Vomit. Weird bug crawling across the dining room floor.

Nights like this get to me. I know that they happen, and I know that they're inevitable, but holy crap do they make me feel completely and totally inadequate. I count down the minutes until bedtime, and I feel guilty because I'm not all mushy-gushy and "oh I love my kids so much and every minute is precious and rainbows and unicorns and happy happy yay!!"

Instead, it's "holy hell it's only 30 minutes until bedtime and then it'll be quiet and then all I have to do is get through the morning and get them to school and then I can get stuff done".

A big part of it is stress. The next few days are absolutely jam-packed with stuff, from track meets to a field trip to choir concerts to baseball practice to The Great Strides Walk for Cystic Fibrosis to the half-marathon, and I have no adult backup at all because The Dude is going to be out of town. I'm worried about making it to everything and attempting to stay sane, and then worrying about whether or not the house is still going to be standing if I leave the kids on their own Sunday morning while I go to my race.

For now though, I'm just going to chill. It's been a crappy night, yes. But it's not the end of the world. It happens. Instead of freaking out, I'm going to enjoy a glass of wine and some "baby oranges" (in a very worn and nasty looking - but clean - bowl) and listen to some music and play around online, and then I'm going to go to bed knowing that tomorrow is another day. And with any luck, it'll go smoother than today did.

Electronic observations

I had to take Daniel to an ENT today because we found out last week that one of the tubes that was put in his ears in 2009 or 2010 is still in there. He hasn't been having any issues with it (obviously, or we would have known that it was there) but his pediatrician wanted to have it checked.

Because of the distance and timing of the appointment, I pulled both him and Alex out of school for the afternoon. The Dude went with us and we headed out for the appointment. When we got there, The Dude and Alex hung out in the main waiting room while Daniel and I went to various locations throughout the clinic - one place for the check in, one place for the hearing test, another place for the actual exam....

While we were in one of the waiting rooms, I watched a little girl who couldn't have been more than about 2 years old. She was there with her mother and as soon as they walked in, the mother handed her cell phone to her and the little girl proceeded to watch a video or something on it (I'm not sure what it was, but the accompanying music was ...... interesting). I didn't think too much of it until the phone dinged with what I assume was a notification, and the mother took the phone from her to check it. The little girl FREAKED OUT and started screaming, until the mother handed it back to her. A few seconds later - same thing.

Around that time, a boy walked in with his mother. He was older, maybe 4 or 5. He sat down and immediately started doing something on an electronic tablet gizmo. When they got called into an exam room, he pitched a fit about having to put the tablet away.

In the meantime, Daniel was sitting on a chair beside me, reading an old copy of Sports Illustrated. He occasionally pointed out a picture to me or asked me what certain words meant. When it was his turn, he put the magazine back on the table and walked into the exam room.

The exam went well. This is a new ENT to us because ours apparently left town at some point in the past few years, but this guy seems pretty cool. Daniel's hearing is perfectly normal, although the wayward tube does need to come out of his ear. It's not an emergency, so we're waiting until after he is done wrestling in a few weeks to do it. It's all good. No biggie.

When we were done, we got The Dude and Alex from the main waiting room where they had been reading an issue of Time together. I said something to The Dude about the kids in the other waiting room with their electronics, and he said that he had seen some of the same while he was waiting for us.

After that, we decided to take the boys and go see a movie and get something to eat. We had a blast just hanging out and goofing off and made total pigs of ourselves at the restaurant. While we waited for our food to arrive, the boys worked on the word searches on the kids menu, and then had more fun finding words that weren't even on the list. But while we were sitting there eating, I noticed it again. There was a little girl, maybe 7 years old, playing on an iPad-like gizmo. But she wasn't just sitting at her table - she was wandering around the restaurant with it, staring intently at it the entire time. She didn't look up and ran into several people, including waitstaff with trays full of food. The adults with her (I assume her parents) just let her go for the most part, although I did see the woman go and get her and bring her back to the table a time or two.

When we go on our family road trips, people always ask me what video games I take along to keep the kids amused. Or they want to know if we want to borrow their portable DVD players for the ride. They are always stunned when I say that we make these trips without the electronics. (The girls do have iPods that they bought with their own money, but without wifi all they can do is listen to music that they've downloaded - which they do because they don't like our music.) Instead of playing with the electronics that would inevitably get lost, broken, or tossed aside with dead batteries, we play those silly old travel games. Or we look out the window to see the scenery. Or we teach the kids how to read a map. Or we talk to each other.

Personally, I think it's pretty cool that we do the road trips the "old-fashioned way".

Seriously people - when did it become "normal" to shove an electronic gizmo into a kid's hands and count on that gizmo to keep the kid amused instead of doing it ourselves?

I see it more and more. Kids who are barely more than infants who pitch an absolute screaming fit if Mom takes away the phone or the iPod or whatever the gadget of the day is. Older kids who can't even go to the grocery store without their iPod. Teenagers who aren't able to find their way to the local grocery store because they are so busy playing handheld video games that they've never paid attention on the ride there. Kids who have crappy social skills because when they go to the neighborhood block party they are too busy looking at a screen to even figure out that there are other kids there and they could all be running around playing and having fun if they weren't trying to get the next high score.

Why is this becoming the norm? Why have we become so electronics-centered that we can't go anywhere without them?

I'm just as guilty as the next person when it comes to my phone. It goes everywhere with me for many reasons. Besides the fact that as a single parent I rely on it in emergencies, it's also the only way that the school can contact me if something happens with the kids. It's how my family reaches me if something happens with my parents, which sadly is happening more and more often these days. But I also play around with it in waiting rooms at doctors and while waiting for my food to arrive - but I can also put it away while I'm eating or while I'm at the movies or whatever. Other than the girls and their iPods, the kids don't have electronics. If we go somewhere that might involve waiting, they bring books to read or draw pictures or people watch.

We don't have video games at home. We don't even have cable. They watch DVDs or occasionally play on my laptop - or they read or color or play with Legos or ride their bikes or play ball in the backyard.

They aren't perfect. They can act spoiled or self-centered or entitled or downright nasty at times. But for the most part they are fairly well-behaved and can have awesome social interactions with people and are excelling in school and sports and almost everything else that they do. There is no way to know if it's because they have limited screen time, but I do think that it has something to do with it.

I do know that when they get bored, they can usually create a game to play with each other. Granted, sometimes it ends in a fist fight, but more often than not they can amuse themselves for several hours.

I know that they love to go to the library to get new books to read, and that even my very hyper and active boys can plop themselves down on the couch when the weather is bad and get lost in a pile of books for an entire day if I let them.

I know that they enjoy the road trips and love to talk about things that they've seen along the way, even if we didn't stop to play tourist at that particular spot. They've also asked me to find out more information on things that they spotted, so I know that they're paying attention to the world around them.

I also know that avoiding electronics is impossible in this day and age. I just wish that more parents would find a better balance in their use.

Care to bet on that, kids?

Today was not the best day in the world around here.

I haven't talked much about how I discipline my kids, mainly because I don't feel like being criticized by those who don't agree with me and because unless you know my specific situation I can promise you that you don't know the best way to deal with my kids. Being a single mother with this many kids and fathers with different levels of involvement in their lives makes it harder to use one form of discipline with all of the kids. There are times when I have to handle each kid differently, even within the same situation.

I am one person and I am not a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination. I know that, and I admit that. But at the same time, I do the best that I can at any moment in time. So if you want to trash me for my parenting skills, I'm opening myself up for it tonight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have not been in the best mood today, and that was made worse by the way that the kids acted for about 95% of the day. They would play nicely for about a minute, and then the next thing I knew they were screaming at each other or beating the crap out of each other or taking each others' toys or whatever. I mean, I know we all have bad days, but holy wow this one was ugly.

Just a small portion of the mess.

And when they get into moods like this, they do NOT listen to me. At all. The boys had gotten out a ton of toys and had them spread all over the living room. I told them numerous times to put them away and they literally just laughed at me. I tried a couple of different tactics, but none of them worked.

Finally I told them that if they didn't pick up the toys, I would do it for them, and the toys would be gone. They looked at me like "whatever!" and continued playing. So I just let it go....

After they were given a final chance to clean up before bedtime and refused, I made up my mind. I got a hold of The Dude to see if he had any big trash bags that he could bring over (plus it gave me an excuse to see him) - so he came over after they were asleep and helped me bag up every. single. toy. in the living room. All of them.

And then we stashed the bag deep in the garage.

Whenever I've gone on a garbage bag rampage before, I've always just left the bag somewhere around the house where they could see it, and then eventually when they straightened up they could get the stuff back. This time, it's not visible. As far as they're concerned, the crap is gone, never to be seen again.

They're going to be mad at me when they realize it in the morning. And at this point, after the way that they acted all day today - I don't really care.

Maybe it's a bit harsh. But then again maybe it's what they need to realize that I expect more of them. I expect them to pick their crap up when they're told to do it. I expect them to listen and to follow directions. I expect them to respect each other, their toys, and me. And if they can't do that, they lose their stuff. Period.

I'm quite sure that we can find any number of places to donate the toys to if they don't figure out how to behave.

You got a problem with my food stamps?

I can't contain myself on this one anymore.

There's a story behind it. A lot of us bloggers/facebook page admins become friends sort of "behind the scenes". We add each other to our personal facebook pages and get to know each other and we have a great time and whatnot.

Anyway, there's this awesome chick behind The Klonopin Chronicles that I have gotten to know better recently. She's really cool and you need to go check out her page and her blog when you get a chance. Because I said so, that's why.

Anyway, she posted an image on her personal page, and it really hit home from me.

Klonnie shared this from a page called Cheaper than Freaking Therapy - I don't know if the admin behind that page was the original creator of the image, but that's where it came from to the best of my knowledge (please, if you know that I'm wrong, correct me).

Anyway, I shared it on my personal profile as well, because it's no big secret that once upon a time in the not-so-distant past, I was on food stamps. And I took a lot of criticism, both from people I knew and from total strangers. When I posted this, it sparked some discussion about various perceptions of people who use food stamps, how they dress, what they drive, and what they purchase.

It's been bugging me. It really has.

Probably the main reason is because I was that person. I was the person buying food for my family with food stamps. I also used to be a case manager, and dealt with people who had to jump through hoops to get them - or worse yet, got them and abused them.

I am not so naive that I would believe that no one abuses the system. I know that it happens. I've seen it happen, and I've busted people for it in the past. But I've also seen so many people who have been so unfairly judged for whipping out that EBT card to pay for their food.

So, in order to get it off of my chest, here's some more food for thought in addition to what's listed in that image up there.

You see her buying junk food and you just can't believe that she would do that with food stamps.
Maybe, just maybe, her child's birthday is coming. She's been saving her food stamp money for the past couple of months in order to get some cake, ice cream, chips, candy, and soda so that finally, her pre-teen daughter can have a birthday party and invite her girlfriends over for a sleepover and they can pig out on junk food all night, just like any other kid their age does. Maybe her daughter will finally feel as though she fits in with her peers.

Ugh, she's buying so much processed food. Look at all of that frozen crap that she's buying - she should be cooking "good" food instead of buying that crap!
Yeah, in a perfect world - I agree. However, I also know that when I was working 2 jobs and trying to take care of my kids on my own, I didn't always have time to make those wonderful home-cooked meals from scratch. I did it as much as I could. But there were days when I was so exhausted that I couldn't see straight, and so I grabbed a frozen corn dog and a pop tart for my supper at 1am after I got home from my second job and inhaled them and went to bed. I hate to tell you this, but sometimes convenience and sanity wins over good solid nutrition - and everyone is guilty of it once in a while. While you see her purchasing "crap", you don't see that she actually has meals already prepared and in the freezer at home - but sometimes, she just needs something easy to nuke and eat so that she can take care of the kids' homework and laundry and spend quality time with them instead of cooking.

OMG - she has a smart phone! How can she afford that if she has food stamps???
Like the image up there suggests, maybe it was a gift, and the giver pays the bill for it so that she can stay safe from an abusive ex-partner. Or maybe she bought it used off of craigslist (like I did), and doesn't have cable or internet at home (like me), so the phone is her only connection to the outside world. She uses it for all of her internet access so that she doesn't have to pay a separate bill, yet she can take it with her and feel safe when she is traveling with her young children.

Her car is nicer than mine!
Maybe it belongs to a friend. Maybe her brother loaned it to her. Maybe she already owned it before her world fell apart and she lost everything that she had except for the car and what she could fit into it when she left. Sure, she could sell it and get something older - but this one is newer and dependable and she knows that she can count on it to get her to work and get her kids to the doctor when they need to go.

Her purse - is that a Coach bag? OhMyGodSheIsTrulyEvilForHavingThatBag!!!
Again, maybe it's a knock-off. Maybe she found it at a yard sale and the seller didn't know its true worth before tossing it in the "Everything's $1" box, but while she was trying to find some decent "new" clothes for her and her kids, she found it. Or, maybe it was a gift from her husband - yet another expensive gift that he bought her to try to make up for the fact that he beat the hell out of her a few days before.

I've seen her house before - it's bigger and nicer than mine is!
And your point is what? Do you know for a fact that she owns the house? Maybe she's renting it from a family member. Maybe it was left to her when her grandmother passed away. Maybe it was approved for low-income housing and she's paying rent based on the income that she gets off of her 2 jobs. Maybe she and her abusive husband owned it, but now it's in the midst of the foreclosure process and she is saving every penny that she has so that she can get a place of her own and move out of it and get to a place where he can't ever find her again.

And here's another explanation that I bet 95% of people don't even think about....

Maybe the food stamps aren't even hers.
Maybe she's shopping for her elderly aunt who is disabled and can't get out of the house easily. Her aunt gave her the list that she had made and her EBT card and sent her to the store to get what she needs - because if someone can just do the shopping for her, she can take care of herself. Or maybe she's a home healthcare provider and she's shopping for one of her clients who is terminally ill. Maybe she's shopping for her father who has slipped through the cracks of the system and isn't getting the pension that he has waited on for years.

My point is this: Unless you personally know the individual using the card, and you know for a fact that he/she is abusing the system, keep your judgments to yourself. Some people are lucky enough to never need assistance to get out of a tough situation in their lives - and some of us aren't that lucky. Sometimes we need help. It happens. Every person has a story, every person is different, and every person has a right to live his/her life without being judged by total strangers.

Because to put it quite bluntly, judgmental people suck.


(Note: To those people who commented on the above image on my personal profile, this is NOT aimed at you at all. I'm glad that conversation remained civil. Some of your comments just reminded me of things that were said to me in the past by strangers - and a few friends at the time - but I am seriously not aiming this at anyone in particular. Please don't be upset with me.)

Basketball, laundry, and .... ghosts?

So Sarah had her first basketball games last night. This is the first year that she's actually playing on the school team and not on the rec league, so it's a little bit different, but she is still having a great time. 

The biggest challenge for me is trying to keep the boys occupied for 3 full basketball games - they started out great, but of course that didn't last very long. They can only sit still and amuse themselves for a certain period of time, and 3 1/2 hours far exceeded that last night.

They really do like each other -
sometimes.

Sarah did kick some serious butt during the first game. The game was pretty fast-paced and intense, and she got at least 2 baskets, including this one - I just wish that the picture would have come out a little bit clearer.

Getting some pointers from one of the coaches.

I love this picture.

So they won the first game, which was the 7th grade team. The 8th grade team played next, and they lost. The third game is a combination of 7th and 8th graders, and Sarah got quite a bit of playing time in that game too until she got hurt. We aren't sure what happened because it was over in a split second, but she was airborne and then she was on the floor. She ended up hurting her thumb, but it appears to just be sprained at this point - although of course she thinks that she's dying. Anyway, they ended up losing that game too.

So we came home, dealt with attitudes, and the kids went to bed. The Dude came over to hang out and we watched a movie and then crashed.

Today started out like a fairly typical day. I got the kids up and off to school and then came back home and crawled back into bed because I really wasn't feeling too hot. The Dude took off for work, and I slept for a couple more hours. Then I decided that I was going to strip my bed and wash the sheets and the mattress pad.

First mistake.

I've washed that mattress pad a dozen times before, and I've never had an issue with it. This time, however, it somehow worked its way up and out of the washer tub and part of it apparently got jammed between the tub and the shell of the washer, and caused water to go all over the floor in the laundry room. I started to clean that up, and then the next thing I knew I was rearranging stuff.

I hate when that happens.

In the process of moving things around in there, I attempted to move the chest freezer about 8" from where it was so that it would be against the wall to save some room. It wouldn't move. So I shoved it. Hard. And something popped from inside it. And then I realized that the reason that it wouldn't move was because the cord wasn't long enough. And then it shut off and wouldn't come back on again.

Seriously? Did I just kill my freezer?

Actually, it appears that I did not kill it. It did eventually come back on. And I did get it moved to where I wanted it to be - I just plugged it into a power strip to give me a little extra leeway for positioning.

So I'm not completely done organizing in there, but it definitely looks better. I have some stuff that needs to go out into the garage, but that won't happen until daytime - so for now it'll just get piled up on the porch. Realistically it'll probably sit on the porch until it annoys me enough for me to put it in the garage.

Now, I've mentioned my ghost a few times. I don't talk about him a whole lot, because, well, people might think that I'm crazy. But there is definitely something in this house. I noticed a bunch of really weird stuff today, but I didn't say anything to anyone about it, other than some friends online.

I was trying to get all of the kids to go to bed, and thought that I had succeeded when the girls came back out and started complaining to me that their room is really spooky. They couldn't tell me what specifically was bothering them - just that it was "creeping them out". I assured them that everything was fine and told them to go back to bed. They turned around and started heading for the hallway when they both yelped in fear...

....and then busted up laughing.

Yes, he was asleep. In the hallway. On the hardwood floor.

No, I did not leave him there. I put him in bed.

An off kind of day...

So the other day I admitted that I've been having kind of a hard time. And it hasn't really let up much. But at the same time, it's manageable for the most part.

I started out today with the lovely chore of paying bills. I got that done fairly quickly, did some stuff around the house and made a grocery list before I took off to get the shopping done. I went to the first store (the one I refer to as my "scratch & dent" grocery store) and got a few things, and when I went to write out my check, I discovered that my driver's license is missing.

Oh joy. I have no idea when I had it out the last time, other than photocopying it (here at home) for some paperwork that I had to send out - and that's been well over a month ago. I just don't whip out my license very much any more. So I have to search for it - I already know that it's not in my wallet or my purse, but I haven't thoroughly checked my desk around my printer/copier yet. I'll find it eventually - or pay to get it replaced.

I'm seriously not going to stress about it right now.

Anyway, I left that store and was getting ready to head to the "real" store to do the bulk of my shopping, but I was hungry. I thought that I would play it safe and get something to eat first, but couldn't figure out where to go. Finally I decided to stop back in at the coffee shop that I had gone to way back before The Dude and I started dating.

Oh my wow. You see that sandwich? That is grilled chicken, bacon, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo on a (get this) soft pretzel roll. And then it's grilled just a bit.

A big chunk of heaven in a little red plastic basket. Right there. It was amazing.

I just sat there, and I ate my sandwich, and I drank my vanilla cappuccino, and I took in my surroundings, and just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


I have to admit that the salt and pepper shakers that were on my table almost came home with me. Not that I'm that crazy about pineapples (ok, I'm crazy about real pineapples, but not so much as home decor) but they were just so stinkin' cute. Every table had a different set of salt and pepper shakers. Just one of those silly observations that I made while I was enjoying my alone time.


Anyway,  I hung out there too long to do my "real" shopping, so I just buzzed into the store long enough to get the stuff that I absolutely needed and then got the boys and came home. I tossed supper in the oven so that it was ready for when the older 3 got home from school (2 hours late because of basketball practice) but of course there was drama.

Between the tween-hormone-ridden angst, the tired and cranky attitudes, and my own body and hormones being out of whack, the 30 minutes that the older 3 were home between basketball and church were not pretty. There was fighting and stomping and crying and tantrums - some from the kids, and some from me.

Luckily The Dude had come over for a little bit, and we were able to sit down and talk a bit - and once again, he amazed me with his understanding and his willingness to put up with so much crap. I seriously dumped a lot of stuff on him tonight, and for whatever reason he's still willing to stick around. There were some things that came up in our conversations tonight that would have sent most men running for the hills - but he swears he's not going anywhere.

Seriously. I don't know how I got so lucky. I really don't. And I know that I shouldn't question it, but I still do. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful and lucky and happy that he picked me.

One of those days...

You know it's not going to be a good day when you wake up 2 hours late...

That's right. I totally overslept this morning and didn't wake up until Ex1 called to find out why the kids weren't at school yet. I bolted out of bed, yelled for the kids to get up, and amazingly enough they actually did. They got ready while I made a bunch of toast and packed lunches at the speed of light. Within 20 minutes, they were all dressed, fed, and in the van - with only a minimal amount of arguing.

I got the older 3 to school - only 20 minutes late - and then Alex and Daniel and I came home (they didn't have school today).

On the plus side, it did start out as an absolutely gorgeous day.

Once we got home, we just hung around and I cleaned and did laundry and all of the usual fun stuff. The day ended up being horribly windy, and there were actually dust storms throughout the area. We weren't close enough to them to actually deal with the dust, but it did make for a dreary looking day.

The pictures don't really do it justice - but that's dust, not clouds or fog. It actually had this odd yellowish tint to it at times. It did finally start to clear out later in the evening hours.

I'm not quite sure what got into the kids today, but they certainly had their attitudes amped up for some reason. So, it was early to bed for the boys and a few extra things to do for the girls before they went to bed. Hopefully they all wake up in the morning in better moods. None of them have school tomorrow, but we still have to get up early because the older 3 are leaving with their stepmother in the morning to go shopping - and I'm watching a couple of extra kids for some friends in the morning too.

And as of right now, I don't really have anything planned for the weekend - and I'm going to do my best to keep it that way. I have some sewing that I want to do if I can get my machine to cooperate with me, and other than that, I'm going to attempt to do a whole lot of nothing.

We'll see how that actually works out.

Walking errands

We had an unseasonably warm day here today, with temperatures near 60 degrees. I had a few errands that needed to be run, so we decided to walk them.

We started out by heading over to the bank to get some cash, then strolled on down to the library.

Alex was all sorts of excited to get some movies to watch, until he threw a temper tantrum in the library - and I made him put his movies back on the shelf. He was not happy - but I'm tired of dealing with his attitude in public. No warning for him this time - he threw a tantrum, and he put the movies back. Period. He was the only one to walk out of the library empty-handed. Maybe one of these days he'll learn that I'm not playing around when he acts like that.

The sky was amazing when we left the library and headed to the grocery store...

We stopped at the store and picked up a few things and then came home. The kids hung out and watched movies while I made supper, then it was bath time and bed time and all of that fun stuff.

My computer decided to take a dump - more like my browser - so The Dude came over to try to fix it, but he couldn't. So now I've been demoted to using IE for facebook instead of Chrome. I'm sad. But hopefully Chrome will get over its issue and get back to working again soon.

Tomorrow was supposed to be a relaxing day, until Ex1 called to inform me that Sarah has basketball practice. In the morning. Ick. So we get to get up and stop for donuts (the kids don't know that part yet) and when we drop her off for practice the rest of us are going to go find a park to run around in since it's supposed to be nice again tomorrow. Then hopefully we can relax for the rest of the day.

But I'm sure those plans will get messed up too. I don't think that "relaxing" is in my vocabulary.

An afternoon at the park...

It might be the end of December, but it was nice outside - and the kids have been at each others' throats ever since the older 3 walked in this morning.

So we went to the park.

We did stop to get Sarah's new glasses on the way over - we had actually stopped to get her old ones fixed, not thinking that the new ones would be in yet, but it turned out they did come in today. So that was convenient!

This is probably one of my absolute favorite pictures of her too. She's turning into such a beautiful young lady.

I amused myself while the kids were playing - tried to work out a menu for the next month and then start a grocery list. Getting money once a month is nice in that I can knock out all of the bills at one time, but it makes it harder to keep groceries on hand sometimes. So, I'm planning ahead....we'll see how well that works out.

After we got done at the playground (more like after the sun went down and I decided that I was freezing) we ran and got some pizzas and came home. The Dude came over later and had some pizza with us and we all watched a movie. He brought some ice cream and we all had that, then Daniel decided that he was done. He crawled up onto my lap, put his head in The Dude's lap, and crashed - sticky face and all.

No big plans for the next few days. I have all of the kids until Saturday morning, when the older 3 go back to their father's house. Alex may or may not be going to his father's Saturday evening - that's still up in the air. Sunday is the 5K - The Dude is going along for that one so that he can keep Daniel (and Alex if we have him) while I run.

And now, I have to do something with the mountain of laundry on my futon so that I can maybe sleep tonight. I am so tired right now, and I know that I should really fold it, but it's really tempting to just chuck it all back into the laundry bucket, crawl under my awesome blanket, and crash.

Is Christmas Break over yet?

This might have been the kids' first full day of Christmas Break - but wow. The kids did nothing but fight all. day. long. From the time they got up until the time that they went to bed, they were at it.

I was at my wits' end more than once, and may not have displayed the most patient parenting skills available, but there does come a time when I just can't deal with it anymore. There may have been a garbage bag rampage in the girls' room, the boys might have gotten sent to their room more than once, there may have been some toys taken away on a semi-permanent (or permanent in one case) basis, and there may have been a few temper tantrums on my part.

I'm not perfect. I don't even pretend to be.

But, in between the chaos, I had to take Sarah to get her eyes examined. Luckily, The Dude came to my rescue (again) and kept the other 4 kids at home and I just took her downtown to get it done.

We were only gone an hour, but it was a peaceful hour...and in that hour he managed to help/encourage Emily to take care of her mess in the girls' room as well as straighten up the kitchen for me - all the while keeping all 3 of the boys in line. After Sarah and I got home, he got her to take care of her mess in their room too. I don't know how he does it - but he's good at it.

I had to try on a funky pair just for the heck of it.

Sarah's new frames - it'll be about a week before she gets them.

So tomorrow's plans involve having The Dude here all day so that we can clean and start prepping food for our feast on Saturday...we can tag team with the kids to keep them occupied and hopefully prevent them from killing each other and/or burning down the house. At some point, I do have to wrap presents - I was going to do that tonight, but a lack of sleep last night and a lot of emotional stress today (not just the kids, but some other stuff too) are acting together to make this an early night.

If I have to, I'll sneak presents into the bathroom tomorrow during the day to wrap them while The Dude distracts the kids. I really should go out and get more stocking stuffers and a few more small things for the boys....but we'll see what happens in that department.

Right now, the futon is calling my name....

You have reached Attitude Central.....

Ay yi yi.

Nobody told me there'd be days like these.

All I wanted to do today was go to the library to return the dozen or so movies that were due, maybe go to a park for a while, and then do some work in the yard. Easy right?

Ha.

They all woke up with attitudes. And I'm not talking just cranky or irritable or whatever. We're talking 5 full-blown selfish, picky, disrespectful, angry, antagonizing, vengeful, snotty attitudes.

I had told them what I wanted to do. They were excited about it for a few minutes. And then someone got cranky with someone else and it just went downhill from there. So I decided that they were going to do chores, and lots of them. And I told them that when they were done (to my satisfaction) then we would go to the library.

Both bedrooms got cleaned. Of course, there were a few temper tantrums involved. And maybe some yelling and stomping of feet. Those may or may not have come from me. But the bedrooms got cleaned. I straightened up the kitchen and bathroom at the same time. So at least things started to look better.

We did finally head off to the library - on foot. I thought that maybe getting them outside and into the nice fresh air would help.

Wrong.

They were still acting up at the library, so I grabbed a couple of movies for myself and we left - and the kids were empty-handed. They'll get over it.

We didn't go to a park, but instead went straight home, where I *thought* that I'd put them to work again.

My ghetto-riffic yard has been looking mighty, well, ghetto-riffic lately. I really wanted to get the area around and under the one front porch cleaned up today, so that was my main goal.

Those bushy things to the left are NOT supposed to be there. But they just keep coming back. I'm pretty sure that they'll survive any kind of apocalypse that may or may not eventually destroy the earth.

Make a mental note of that "gate" behind the downspout while you're looking at this picture.

When that gate was removed, this is what the area between the porch and the garage looked like.

Ew. Just, ew. I spent hours cleaning this out when we first moved in because it was just full of trash. But this is mainly stuff that I either didn't pick up the first time or stuff that the kids chucked down there, thinking that it would be funny.

Anyway, I got to work. It really wasn't as bad as I initially thought it was, but it was still a pain. I raked all of the crap out, tossed the garbage that I found into that box, and kept anything that was salvageable (basically the basketball and a birdhouse made out of a gourd). In the meantime, my neighbor came over and he helped me to get the leaves bagged up and out of there so it ended up looking pretty decent.

Oh and I decided I might as well clean out the gutters while I was out there getting filthy dirty anyway. It's not like it's a horrible job - jump up on the porch railing, over onto the garage, clean out maybe 10' of guttering, and hop back down. Although I do have to admit that I get some really funny looks from people as they're driving by the house and see me standing on the garage roof.

I just realized that I didn't get a good "after" picture from the front, but that's mainly because I was trying to escape from the conversation with the neighbor. He's a nice guy, but he can talk and talk and talk and talk.....and I really just wanted to get inside and get supper started because we still had a lot of stuff to get done.

In the meantime, Alex's father called and informed me that he was going to come get Alex for the night. Uh, hello? What happened to "I get my schedule on Thursday, so I can let you know then what my plans are for the weekend"? I not-so-politely reminded him that I need to know in advance when he wants to take him - I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to decide to show up, and it's too hard on Alex not to know what's going on, now that he's old enough to understand it.

Anyway, we finally got in and I got supper started and then Emily had to go to a costume birthday party - which I found out about LAST NIGHT. So she made the girl a present and we scrounged around for ideas for a costume and came up with something simple and cheap free. Would have been better with a football helmet, but it worked.

We took her to her party, and stopped at a little old cemetery that we drive past quite often. I knew that it was old, but I had no idea how old. So Sarah, Jared, Daniel, and I stopped and scoped it out. We want to go back with paper and crayons and do some rubbings because some of the stones were almost impossible to read.

Ex1 and I shifted some weekend time around so that he could take the kids on a camping trip in a couple of weeks, so I get the rare treat of taking the older three to my church tomorrow - they never get to go with me anymore, so I'm looking forward to it. I just hope that they all wake up in much better moods than they did today.



On a side (or bottom) note: it's 11:00pm, and I have a minimum of 3 loads of laundry left to do tonight. How does that happen?