I'm not all that.

Seriously. I'm not.

So many times, people have told me how much they admire me for being able to "keep it together" or whatever. They think that I'm so strong or so brave or so ...... whatever ..... because I'm a single mom with 5 kids and I'm not in an asylum (yet).

I've got news for you.

I put up a good front sometimes.

The past couple of days have - to put it bluntly - sucked. The kids have not been cooperating, I haven't felt good, and to be totally honest, I just have not been too terribly happy with much of anything around me.

I don't usually put that out here. Why? Am I afraid of being judged for how I feel at times? Yep. Darned right I am. Am I afraid of being criticized? Yep. That too. So I don't usually talk about the bad days.

But you know what? I'm human. And right now, I'm having a crappy time. And it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about or anything like that. It's normal.

I've talked about my depression before - so it's not like it's a big secret. For the most part, it's not a big deal. However, for whatever reason, my body has decided to do all sorts of wonky stuff to me, my hormones are in a rage, and I'm just really really moody.

Honestly, I have no real reason to be down. My life is good awesome right now. My kids are amazing, even if they have been at each others' throats lately. They are healthy and their grades are off of the charts at school and they are just plain amazing. I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me in spite of all of my quirks and weirdness and mood swings, and he loves my kids too.

And as much as I would like to just crawl into bed and hide under the covers or curl up on the couch with Ben & Jerry and the remote, I can't do it because I have 5 little humans that get crankier than normal if I don't pay enough attention to them and feed them and take them to school and stuff like that.

So I will deal with my moods as much as I can. I will more than likely stand here for half of the night cutting fabric for some projects in order to keep my hands busy. Sarah will be back here after a football game tonight so that I can take her to Ex1's church in the wee hours of the morning to go on a trip with the youth group there. And then the boys and I will be spending the day running errands all over the place. And hopefully by keeping myself busy, I can keep some of the blues away at the same time. If all goes according to plan, The Dude and I will get to spend some quality time together this weekend as well - which is always a good thing.

So yeah, I'm not perfect. I'm not WonderMom, I'm not a superhero, I'm not anything special. I'm just a mom who loves to talk about the good days, but doesn't always like to admit that there are bad ones too.

At the same time, I know that the bad days will pass and the good ones are waiting just around the corner - and admitting that there are bad days doesn't make me a bad person.