Pumpkins and Persecution

We all know how I feel about pumpkin, right?

It's gross. It's icky. I hate it with every fiber of my being, and then some. I don't want to taste it, I don't want to smell it, I don't want it near me unless I'm hacking it to pieces in the process of making a jack-o-lantern....and even then I usually gag a time or two.

So a year or two ago when I was working at the fast food joint, pumpkin season rolled around like it always does. We started serving pumpkin spice coffees and pumpkin ice cream and other grotesque items made with that horrendous stuff.

Guess what? I had to deal with it.

I could have told my boss, CrankyPants, that I refused to serve anything related to pumpkin because I thought that it was gross and icky, and she would have shown me the door. I could have quit then and there and just kept going on with my life elsewhere. Or, as I chose to do, I just sucked it up and served the damned pumpkin crap. And life went on.

I bet you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

I am so sick and tired of seeing posts floating through my newsfeed saying that Kim Davis is being persecuted because she's a Christian and she's standing up for her rights. No, she's not being persecuted. She's being punished for not performing the job that she was elected to do, and that she most likely took an oath of office promising that she would do.

That's not persecution. That's the consequence of breaking the law.

She can believe whatever she wants to believe. She has that right. Whether or not I agree with her isn't the point. (For the record, just in case you're new here - THIS is how I feel about equal rights.) She's standing up for what she believes in, and that's ok. I don't agree with her, but in a way I almost (I said almost) admire her for sticking to her guns.

What's not ok is that she's not doing her job, and by not doing her job she's violating other peoples' rights.

She's a government employee. The law says that everyone has the right to get married, but she's using her religious views to prevent that from happening.

HER religious views. She is trying to impose HER religious views on everyone else in Rowan County, regardless of what religion they practice themselves.

This country was founded in part on the freedom of religion. But folks, it's not just freedom OF religion.

It's also freedom FROM religion. People are free to choose not to follow any religion at all.

If homosexuality, gay marriage, or singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" while driving violates your religious beliefs, then don't participate in those activities. IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

Don't like it? Don't do it. But the law says that you can't stop anyone else from doing it either.

What Makes a Hero?

Unless you've been living under a rock lately, I'm sure that you've seen the hoopla created by Caitlyn Jenner's magazine cover. I usually try to avoid commenting on controversial stuff just because I don't like the drama, but there's one aspect of this one that I just can't shove under the rug.

Let me start off by saying this - I fully support Ms. Jenner's right to do whatever she wants with her body. It's her choice. I may not "get" it and I may not understand it, but at the end of the day it's her body.

I fully support equal rights - for everyone.

I don't care what religion anyone is.

I don't care what color anyone is.

It all boils down to this - if you're a good person, you and I will get along just fine. But if you act like a dick, go and do it elsewhere. Period.

I'm also going to say this - my cousin is in the process of transitioning from female to male. So if you're going to bash anyone in the transgender community, you're screwing with my family. Trust me - you do not want to go there.

Now that all of that is out of the way.....

I've seen several memes floating around questioning whether or not Ms. Jenner is a "hero". Generally, it's a picture of her side-by-side with a picture of a war veteran who has obvious injuries.

Is that veteran a hero? Damned right he is - no question about it in my opinion. My father, my brothers, my nephews, and too many of my friends to count have served (or are still serving) in the military and every single one of them is a hero to me.

Does everyone agree with that? No. There are some people who are anti-war or anti-military for various reasons, and they don't believe that these people are heroes. Do I agree with them? No. Do they have the right to believe what they do? Yes.

What about a police officer? A man who had an officer rescue him from an armed robber might consider that officer to be his hero, while a man who was wrongfully arrested for a crime he didn't commit might not think that officers are heroes.

How about a teacher? She might never put herself in physical danger in her classroom, but the little girl who looked up to her and decided to be a teacher herself might consider that woman to be her hero.

What about the neighbor who called 911 when she saw smoke coming from a nearby home? Because of her call, the house was mostly saved from destruction. I wouldn't be surprised if the homeowner referred to her as a "hero" during an interview later that day.

What about the child who was climbing around on his brother's bed and got his leg caught between the mattress and the headboard and had to yell for his mother to come and "rescue" him? What if he brought this piece of artwork home from school a few weeks later and handed it to his mom, proudly saying to her "you're MY hero, Mom"?

Are you going to tell him anything different?

Caitlyn Jenner might not be a hero to everyone. She might not be a hero to the majority of people in the world. But I promise you this - somewhere, there is someone struggling with his/her sexual identity who is looking up to this woman and who is thankful that she has had the courage to take a very private journey and share it with the world. And that someone might just consider her a hero for it.

We don't have the right to tell other people what to do with their bodies.

We don't have the right to tell people that their belief system is wrong.

We don't have the right to dictate who can or can't be a hero to someone else.

What we do have the right to do is simple -

Stop judging. Be nice. 

Seriously. It's that easy.

Random thoughts

Well, I survived the trip to the dentist today. It was nowhere near as traumatic as the visit to the oral surgeon was, but it was still horrible. The Dude went with me, and the hygienist let him come into the room with me and stay for the whole thing. It took a little over an hour to get my teeth clean - I guess that happens when you wait about 10 years in between cleanings - but she was super nice and gentle and she really paid attention to my reaction. Whenever I flinched, she backed off a bit and just kept talking to me the whole time. The good thing was that even after waiting that long to get them done, I don't have any damage to my teeth at all, so no fillings or anything, and I don't have to go back for another 6 months - and yes, I scheduled the appointment.

Funny thing was that The Dude looked at me after it was over and said "hey, you didn't do bad at all this time" and THEN I pulled my hands out of the pocket of my hoodie and showed him the fingernail marks in my palms from having my hands balled up in such tight fists the whole time. I'm pretty sure that he rolled his eyes at me when he saw that. Butthead.

But I did it. And I lived. And I got a free toothbrush.

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This made me happy.

So if you're on facebook, I'm sure that you saw all of the new profile pictures that people used to show their support for marriage equality. I changed my personal one and also changed the cover photo on my page - because just in case you happened to miss it the other day, I fully support marriage equality.

I was amazed at the sheer number of people who changed their profile pictures or showed support in some way. There were people who questioned what good changing a profile picture would do - and I agree that it doesn't do anything to change the laws. No politician is going to change his mind simply because I changed my profile picture. But it did show support to my friends who are denied the opportunity to marry the person that they love.

And honestly, I was stunned (in a good way) that certain people showed their support. Some of my friends who I had always pegged as being against marriage equality changed their pictures or shared some of the memes that were floating around today, and it made me smile.  A lot.

Times are changing. And I like that.

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I am so looking forward to nicer weather. With the kids having a long weekend (again) this weekend, it'll be nice to actually be able to get outside and do something. Not to mention that I really have to buckle down and get ready for this half-marathon that is doing its best to sneak up on me in a little over a month. Crap.

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Easter is on Sunday??? How did THAT happen?

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I really need to redo my nails.

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Tomorrow is my payday. Which means that as soon as I'm done doing this, I need to figure out my menu and the grocery list for the next month, taking into account track meets, Scout meetings, and various other functions that will totally ruin any and all plans that I make. Tomorrow morning will be spent paying bills and then hopefully grocery shopping. So much excitement.

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Read THIS. Share it. Please.

On love and marriage...

I believe in God. I go to church almost weekly (hey, I'm human). I take my kids to church. We discuss religion at home. I attend a Methodist church. The kids also attend a Baptist church with their father and occasionally a Mennonite church with their aunt and uncle. We have friends and family who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, Pagan, agnostics and atheists.

All of those people are good people – regardless of their beliefs. I don’t have to agree with their religious beliefs, but I firmly believe in their right to have those beliefs and to celebrate them as they see fit. And the nice thing is that if I don’t understand something about their belief, rather than making assumptions, I can ask them about it or research it to find the answer and learn more about it. I don’t tell them that they are wrong because they don’t believe the same thing that I do, and I don’t believe that I am a better person than they are simply because of my own belief system.

This morning in my personal facebook newsfeed, there were two articles floating around that caught my eye. One was about the "Equality House" that is across the street from the WBC in Topeka and one was about a church in North Carolina that has stopped performing ANY marriage ceremonies until the right to marry is granted to ALL couples. You can go and read both of those articles for yourself if you would like - but as soon as I did, I immediately shared both of them from my personal profile because this is something that I fully support.

Wait, what’s that? I believe in God AND support equal rights for all people? How can that be?

Look at it this way.

I have friends who are vegans. They won’t eat anything that comes from an animal. Nothing. They eat fruits and veggies and tofu and weird stuff like that. I don’t totally understand it, and I’m not sure why they would want to give up the deliciousness that is bacon cheeseburgers, but they do. And you know what? It doesn’t affect me one single bit. Not one bit. What they choose to do at their dinner table does not affect me at all. 

If they come over for dinner, I can do a few things. I can ignore the fact that they’re vegan and cook up a wonderful meaty meal and make them feel uncomfortable (and hungry), or I can make a killer salad with no animal products in it that I might not like, or I can ask them what to make so that we can all enjoy a wonderful meal. One thing that I won’t do is force them to eat a burger – because even though I think it’s odd that they won’t, I understand that they do some things differently than I do.

Same goes for my gay friends and family. I can be selfish and ignore their ‘gayness’ and make them feel uncomfortable just so that I don’t have to face it, or I can love them and accept them for who they are – good people who happen to do things a little differently than I do. I don’t try to force my beliefs on them because my beliefs are no more right than theirs are.

If the kids ask me why our vegan friends don’t eat the same food that we do, I can simply tell them “because some people eat meat and some don’t, and that’s ok” and move on with it. No big deal, right? 

And *gasp* what if my kids ask why a guy is holding hands with another guy? For the record, they have asked – and my response was “because, kids, sometimes guys fall in love with guys, and sometimes girls fall in love with girls.” And you know what the kids’ reaction was? “Oh. OK. What’s for supper?” They are not scarred for life by seeing two men holding hands or even kissing any more than they are by witnessing heterosexual displays of affection. They understand that everyone is different, and they treat everyone with the love and respect that is deserved. They may not agree with it when they get older and fully understand everything about homosexuality, but at least they’ll be open-minded enough to understand that being gay does not equate to being a bad person.

Yes, I know that there is a big difference between being vegan and being gay. But you know what? It all boils down to the fact that people are different. Different people do and believe different things for different reasons – but it doesn't automatically mean that they are horrible people or deserve to be treated as though they are less than human.

People like to throw around the whole “but the Bible says it’s wrong” argument. But you know what? Not everyone believes in the same Bible. Not everyone has the same religious beliefs. All people have the right to believe in their own philosophies, whether you agree with them or not. My Bible might say that it’s wrong, but my Bible goes with my religion. Someone who follows a different religion has a different book of ‘rules’ and THAT book might say that it’s perfectly fine – but since that person has the right to believe in their religion just as I have the right to believe in mine, who is right?

No one. 

The first amendment says “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances”.

Let me repeat that first part: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” But laws have been passed banning gay marriage (or as I like to call it: "marriage") because it goes against some people's religious beliefs? How does that work? Doesn't banning anything based on religious beliefs go directly against the first amendment?

Your religious beliefs are not right. My religious beliefs are not right. The gay guy down the street? His aren’t right either. NO ONE’S RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ARE RIGHT. No person has the right to impose his/her religious beliefs on anyone. Period. Your religion is your own. Mine is mine. I may not agree with your religion, and you may not agree with mine, but it doesn't mean that either one of us is right or wrong.

Bottom line: You wouldn’t be free to have your religious beliefs without the first amendment protecting your right to do so – and at the same time, that same amendment gives everyone else in this country the freedom to have his/her own religious beliefs. I believe in God – or at least the idea that there is something out there that is way bigger than all of us – but I don’t necessarily believe in following every single thing that is in the Bible – and that is my right, just as others have the right to feel differently.

Human rights. Equal rights. Regardless of religion, everyone deserves to be treated equally and fairly.

People need to stop trying to shove their own beliefs down everyone else’s throats. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and live your own life the way that you choose. Be the best person that you can possibly be. If you live your life in the best way possible for you, then you have nothing to worry about in whatever version of the hereafter you choose to believe exists. And hey, the entire world might actually end up being a better place to be.