It still seems surreal at times. People ask me questions, and I answer like it happened to someone else. I tell them the details if they want to know them, and I share some very happy - but also very painful - memories.
I was never sure about that whole "time heals all wounds" concept. When he first died, I never imagined being able to talk about it without breaking down into tears. For months after it happened, I felt like I was in a fog.
But slowly, the fog began to lift. The pain did subside. And while I'm not going to lie and say that it never bothers me, it has gotten easier. I can look back at things that happened, and I can do so with the understanding and clarity that comes with the passage of time. The anger that was directed at him for the choices that he made is gone.
I don't know how it happened. I never thought that I would be able to let go of the anger - but I did. It took time and a lot of introspection to get to this point. And I can honestly say that right now, I am happier than I ever thought that I could be. Things did not turn out the way that I had planned 6 years ago - and I'm ok with that.
I couldn't be happier with where my life is taking me, and I can't wait to see where it leads.
Hard to believe that the little baby is Alex!