I'm not doing this to create drama. I'm not doing it to hurt anyone. I'm doing it because I feel that I need to - for me - as another step in my own healing. And I need to remember that although our marriage was far from perfect and we had many, many issues, we still had some good times. We were still a family.
These pictures are from Jeff's 44th birthday. August 24, 2008. He wanted a Boston Cream Pie, so I made one for him. We had our own little family party that day.
Today would have been his 47th birthday.
But he's gone.
There are so many things that I want to say, but I just don't know how to put them into words.
I'm still mad at him. I'm mad that he continued to choose alcohol over his family - not just our family, but his family back in Massachusetts. I'm mad that he wasn't strong enough to make better choices. I'm mad that the only choice that I had was to ask him to leave our home for good. I'm mad that he didn't win the battle against alcohol.
But I'm also sad. I miss the man that I saw when he was sober. I miss the good times that we did have. I'm sad that Daniel will grow up without his father, and that my other kids lost a stepfather who they loved with all their hearts.
August 24, 1964 - February 2, 2011