Lumps and bumps and bruises....oh my.

A week ago today, we had a scare. Kind of a big one.

I was working down in the Mom Cave, and the boys were upstairs. A friend had come over to play, and they were getting more than a bit rowdy. I listened to them getting louder and louder, and when it became more obvious that they weren't going to calm themselves down, I started to head upstairs.

Just as I put my foot on the bottom step, I heard a drastic change in the noise - now it was punctuated with screams of pain. I started running up the steps and the door opened, with Daniel yelling at me "MOM COME QUICK JARED'S HURT!"

Long story short, as he was racing through the house, he misjudged a turn and ran into a wall. Hard.

When I peeled his hands away from his forehead, I was relieved that there was no blood, but I watched in fear as the goose egg grew right in front of my eyes. We iced it immediately, with him still lying on the floor in the hallway. I talked to him, watched his eyes, listened to his responses - and decided within about 20 minutes that he needed to be checked. 

We got to the ER and he was taken right in to be seen (so thankful again for small towns). The doctor was awesome and decided almost immediately to do a CT scan to be safe, and because he had some concerns. Thankfully, the CT was clear, he was diagnosed with a concussion, and we were sent home.

He recovered quickly (almost too quickly) and was running around again later that day. The bruising started a couple of days later and other than being tender, he seemed fine. 

I took him to our pediatrician on Monday for a follow up, and she did an eye exam - which he failed miserably in the eye on the side of his head that got hit. Fearing that he might have done some damage to the eye, she referred him to an optometrist - where we went today.

After an extremely thorough exam, which included dilating his eyes for the first time ever, it was determined that he did not damage his eye. But, his vision sucks.

At the ripe old age of 11, he's getting bifocals.

There's a good chance that he'll grow out of his crappy vision. Or, since I've already cursed one kid with emotional scarring I guess he can blame me for being blind as a bat. Either way, I'm just so incredibly thankful that it's not damage to his eye.

Never a dull moment. Ever.

My office

Like most people, I'm in a few groups on facebook. There's one group in particular where it seems like we end up inadvertently having a "theme" day every now and then. Someone will post a ridiculous selfie, and then we all do it. Or video updates. Pictures of our kids. Whatever.

Today, I was too busy running around to really pay attention to how it started, but pictures of everyone's offices were being posted. When I saw it, I was actually on my way out the door to the grocery store, and so I posted a picture of my cart as my "office for the day".

When I got done at the store, I had to rush straight to the schools to get the kids, and then home to unload the groceries and start supper. At the same time, I was helping with homework and signing agendas and starting a new grocery list for everything that I forgot to get today.

I was making a mental meal plan for the rest of the week and occasionally pulling out my phone to look at my calendar to try to remember everything else that had to be done. Then I got the kids who were home started on supper while I ran out to pick Emily up from basketball practice, and then started cleaning the kitchen and baking some snacks for lunches and after school.

As it turned out, the kitchen was actually my main office for the day. Or at least for the afternoon and evening.

For whatever reason, I managed to actually be more organized than usual tonight. I got all of the dishes done (putting them in the dishwasher counts as "done" in my book) and made the pancake batter for morning. I put the griddle out so I literally just have to plug it in and start pouring batter for pancakes instead of fumbling around to mix it like I usually do. I packed the majority of the kids' lunches so that all I have to do is make their sandwiches and toss their string cheese into their respective bags and then chase them out into the van.

Theoretically speaking, as long as everyone gets up on time, the morning *should* be fairly easy....although I'm sure that it will fall apart somewhere.

Of course, in the middle of all of this, it was pointed out to me that the bathroom faucet was messed up again. I just replaced the stems in it a few weeks ago and was super proud that it wasn't dripping constantly anymore, and now it's jacked up again. I hope that it's just something that needs to be tightened, but I won't know that until I can shut the water off to the house (because no shut off under the sink) and pull it apart again, so depending on how that goes, my "office" tomorrow will definitely include the bathroom and possibly one or more hardware stores.

Until then......yes, there are bricks putting enough pressure on the handle to keep the water from running all night long.

Don't judge. It's working for now.

And yes, I know, the sink is filthy. Again, don't judge. I'll deal with that later.

I used to have an actual office job. I had to get up early and get dressed every day (luckily girl clothes weren't required, but I still had to look human) and drive 30 miles each way to sit in a cube and push papers and run around the state visiting people to make sure that they were getting the care that they needed. I got paid a decent amount of money and enjoyed what I did for the most part.

Sometimes, I miss that life. I miss getting out and seeing people (even if I didn't like ALL of the people I had to deal with on a regular basis) and having a regular routine.

But then again, I wouldn't trade my "offices" now for any of that. I love that I can be home with my kids at a moment's notice when they need me and that I can go to school functions during the day without having to rearrange an entire work day and get permission from the boss. I can do laundry and grocery shop and fix busted sinks while they're in school, and spend the evenings with them (even if I'm in the kitchen for most of the evening).

The money's not as good, but the value is incredible.

This...

...is my happy face.

So I was trying to watch the road too.
You get the idea.

That is how I looked as I drove my van home tonight.

My van. We have it back. And it runs like a charm. Actually, I think it runs better than it ever did, but I'm going to reserve final judgment on that until I drive it for a few days, just to make sure. But I drove it about 20-25 miles tonight and had no problems - so I think we might be good to go for now.

I am so incredibly thankful to have it back. It will make all of our lives so much easier and so much less stressful. And for everyone who helped out while I was wheel-less....THANK YOU. The last month or so has been so incredibly stressful, and just having it back is such a huge relief - not only on me, but on The Dude and the kids as well. It'll even help Ex1, since the majority of kid transportation has been falling on him lately.

One less stressful thing to have hanging over my head.

Life is good.

My rock

I don't know how he does it. I really don't.

The Dude has the patience of a saint. Really.

We have been going through a lot of stuff around here lately. Some really deep dark stuff. It's not fun, it's not pretty, and honestly it's not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. But, we have to deal with it.

No, let me rephrase that.

I have to deal with it.

It's my stuff to handle. My problems. My issues. My responsibilities. It's not something that he has to deal with at all.

But yet, he does. He is right there, in the midst of it, helping and supporting and loving. He's making supper for the kids and helping with homework and keeping an eye on them while I go take care of the dirty work. He's giving me pep talks through online messages when he can't be here.

Most importantly, he is loving us. Not just me, but all of us.

And he's doing it all by choice.

It's not just the crappy stuff. He puts up with everything. He even puts up with this whole blogging thing and cheers me on with it just as much as he supports me through the crap.

There is absolutely no way that I can ever thank him enough for everything that he does for us. No way humanly possible.

About 15 seconds after I took this, he admitted that the
wasabi was a bit hotter than he expected.
I might have laughed at him.

I love you, babes. Thank you for everything.

I have to choose hope.

Today.....today was truly a horrible day.

By now, we all know what happened. We all know about the 20 children who lost their lives at the hands of a gunman in Connecticut.

We don't know the whole story yet, and we probably never will. We know bits and pieces of what happened, but those bits and pieces are disjointed and scrambled and out of order - much like my own thoughts and feelings right now.

I sit here tonight, still in disbelief. I didn't know about it until well after it happened because I was busy living life. I was busy living a normal every day life, while so many innocent children lost theirs...while my children were safe in their own schools, just as oblivious as to what was happening as I was.

How do I as a mother wrap my head around this?

The answer is simple.

I don't.

There is no way for me to comprehend the enormity of what happened today. None. I can not imagine the fear, the terror, the anguish that those families are having to deal with right now. Instead of planning holiday parties and trips to see Santa at the local mall, they are now planning funerals.

How does that happen? Why does that happen?

I could drive myself insane trying to come up with the answers. All I can do at this point is hope.

I can hope that the families who have been affected can somehow come to grips with this.

I can hope that this will never happen to another child, another school, another family.

I can hope that this will never happen to my family.

I can hope.

But because there are no guarantees in life, I can change the things that I can control. I can tell my kids that I love them even more often than I already do. I can hug them tighter, kiss them more, and appreciate having them around even when they are annoying each other and picking fights. I can love the messy rooms and the temper tantrums and the chaotic schedules and the dirty laundry - because it means that I still have my family. 

At the same time, I realize once again that it can all be taken away in an instant. It doesn't have to be a crazed gunman. It can be a fire, or an accident, or an illness, or any number of things. I never know what is going to happen, or when it might happen. 

All I can do is hope - and be thankful for every single day that I get with my family.

It was a feast...

It took lots of work, but we had ourselves an awesome feast yesterday! We ended up having 8 adults and 7 children here, and had to do some slight rearranging of furniture to make enough room for everyone, but it was so worth it.

Hey, wait! Where's my table?!?!?

Why, of course....it's in the living room.

I have to admit - probably one of the best turkeys that
I've ever made.

What's not to love about a guy willing to don a
Santa apron and get to work in the kitchen?

Let the feast begin!

Carnage in the kids' area.

Help doing the dishes.

Getting my 'baby fix'.

I got to relax a bit afterwards (notice the socks?) and watch the
Redskins beat the Cowgirlsboys.
Loved. that. game. LOVED.

We had a great time. It was pretty low-key - just lots of food and talking and playing with the kids. And lots of dishes. And - better yet -  lots of leftovers.

The Dude stayed here the night before and last night so that he could help me get everything ready and then help clean, and this morning he stayed here and hung out with the kids while Alex and I went downtown to help his Scout troop get their Christmas tree lot up and running.

The strangest part about the entire holiday so far? Yesterday - Thanksgiving Day - we had the windows open in the house all day long. We had the heat turned off - and it wasn't just because the oven was going non-stop, but it was because it was a warm and gorgeous day. Then I woke up at 7am today, and it was 60 degrees inside the house, and (I think) only in the high 30s or low 40s outside. We were freezing at the tree lot! Talk about a difference.....

As for being thankful? I can't even begin to list everything. I have an amazing life. I might not have money for a bunch of extra stuff, and I might not have a big fancy house or a new vehicle, but I have some pretty cool kids and an amazing man who loves me (in spite of me) and life is just good. Period. The Dude and I were talking about how this is our "last first holiday" together - but I'll go into that more in a few days.....

Right now - I think I *might* attempt to go to bed early. I do not have to get up for anything in the morning - so maybe, just maybe, I can actually get a little bit of sleep tonight.

Ha. Right.



(Oh, I hinted around on my facebook page about a lot of stuff coming up in the next few days. Some of it is goofy, some of it is sappy, and some of it is really important. And that's all that you're going to get for hints. You'll just have to wait and see. So there.)

Thankful.

Today, I am thankful. For so many things - and I don't know if I can even express all of them.

First and foremost, I am so incredibly thankful that I have my wheels back...

I couldn't have gotten it done without the kindness and generosity of so many of you - and for that, I will be eternally grateful. I am amazed still by all of it, and it still brings me to tears if I think about it too much.

I am thankful that the transmission waited to die until we were home safely after our road trip.

I am incredibly thankful that the axle didn't fall apart until it was in the garage being repaired already - for those of you who missed that story...

The garage guy called me yesterday (was it yesterday? I think it was yesterday...) to tell me that he had good news and bad news. The good news was that he was able to locate a remanufactured transmission and wanted to put that in the van instead of a used one, but for the same price. I was thrilled with that news. But then he told me that as he was under the van working on it, the drivers side axle literally fell apart in his hands. It broke. Snapped. Crumbled. So he had to replace that, which obviously cost extra. So, I scrounged and came up with the extra money, which is going to make the rest of the month tight, but the van is fixed.

And I am so thankful that the axle broke then, and not while we were doing 75mph on the highway. Had it happened then, chances are that we wouldn't have landed upright. Or in one piece. And that thought just makes my skin crawl.

I am thankful for The Dude, for so many reasons. For him allowing me to borrow his van for the past 2 months. For making me smile when I don't really want to do it. For taking care of the kids for me while I was so sick last night that I literally couldn't stand up straight. For taking care of me and making me go to bed instead of staying up trying to get things done. For just being him and for loving me in spite of my neurotic tendencies and for "signing up" to be a part of our lives.

I am thankful for my little ghetto-esque house. The kids and I moved in to this house 2 years ago today. September 1, 2010 was the start of my new life and had I known then what I know now - wow.

I lost virtually everything in my second divorce. I lost our home because the mortgage wasn't in my name and I couldn't talk to the mortgage people to do anything about the payments that had been missed. I lost our van because again, that wasn't in my name and I couldn't renew the tags on it because of that. I lost a lot of my valuable possessions because I had to sell them to make ends meet. When I felt like my world was completely caving in around me, I found this awful little house - but I knew that I could make it work. Thanks to my church family volunteering their time to help, we got everything moved from the old house to this one. It took months to get things situated, but we eventually did it and we turned it into our home.

It's not the best house in the world - but for now, it's ours. And I know that we can stay here as long as we need to in order to save up enough money for our next move, which will be to the town where the older three kids go to school so that all of my kids can go to school in the same district. Although the house is tiny, we make it work (most of the time) and for that I am thankful.

Even though at this particular moment in time I feel like crap and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep and not wake up until my allergy season is past, I am so incredibly thankful for my life.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Life is good.

Van progress and the loss of Monday nights

Today was another day of running around like crazy. Imagine that.

After I forgot to take the boys to school (yes, you read that right) I made a mad dash to get them there - luckily, they were only 18 minutes late, but still....it wasn't the best way to start the day.

Anyway, I took them to school and then took The Dude to work and then took his mom to the doctor and then got Daniel from school....and then came home and started trying to locate my kitchen - I have really slacked in there and it was a disaster. But, I got it cleaned up enough and then started crunching numbers.

As I started gathering money for the Transmission Fund, it went into 3 different accounts. Some of it went directly into my PayPal account, while some of it went into my savings and my checking accounts. Not a big deal, right?

Ha.

My plan, once I knew that I had enough money last week, was to transfer the money from my savings and checking into my PayPal account so that it would all be in the same place and I could just use my PayPal debit card to pay the garage. Easy, right?

Wrong.

I transferred the money from the checking to the PayPal account late last week, and on the same day went and talked to the guy at the garage and told him that I had the money and was ready to rock. As we were discussing it, he mentioned that due to the exorbitant fees charged by credit card companies, he doesn't take them. At all.

Oops.

Anyone who has used PayPal knows that it takes 3-5 days to complete a transfer. So I came back home and transferred the money that was already in my PayPal to my checking - he told me that if I handed him $800, he'd order the part and get started on it, and then I could pay for the rest when I picked up the van.

Anyway, as of today, the money that I transferred from PayPal to my checking was there. But the money that I had initially transferred from my checking to my PayPal is still in limbo until tomorrow. Regardless, I had enough to get started....

So Daniel and I walked up to the garage and handed him the check - he was going to order the transmission right then, and then get this - he is going to bring his trailer to my house, load up my van, and take it and fix it. I don't have to get it to him - he's coming to get it.

In the meantime, as soon as the money from my checking lands in my PayPal account tomorrow, I'm going to transfer it back to my checking, and then when he has the van done (possibly as early as this Friday) I can write him another check for the remaining $624.50 and be done with it.

And I will have my very own van back in my possession.

And I can give The Dude's van back to him.

We've been dealing with having only one van between the two houses for almost 2 months now, and it's been difficult. We've been lucky in that there haven't been many scheduling conflicts, but it's been stressful on all of us. Having two functional vehicles again will do wonders for our sanity - not that we really had any at the beginning!

I know that I've said it before, but I just can't thank everyone enough for their help in getting us to this point. Whether it was a donation, or spreading the word, or saying a prayer or saying a word or two of encouragement - it means so much to both of us. Knowing that there are still people out there who are willing to help a friend - or even a stranger - is amazing. I will continue to pay it forward in any way that I possibly can for as long as I possibly can!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
On to other fun and exciting news....

Alex is now a Cub Scout. Because you know, I didn't have enough on my plate already. Seriously though, I've been looking into getting him into something and had hoped to get him into flag football this year - but our schedules just will not allow that. But, I think we can handle one night a week. And of course I had to sign up to volunteer for a few things, but luckily those won't take much time (I hope).

So we'll see how this goes...

Water works and more laundry

So the city actually showed up here a little bit before 8am today and started working on the water leak in front of my house. Of course, Daniel had to go outside to watch - and he had a blast. As it turned out, the leak was in the fitting(?) between the main city line and the line coming into my meter. Once they got it dug up and figured out what it was, it didn't take them long to fix it at all, and I was only without water for about an hour or two. The water guys did what they had to do and then left the big gaping hole in the street for the street guys to fix - so far they've filled it with sand, tamped it down, and stuck some cones around it.

I did manage to at least weed my (pathetic excuses for) flower beds while we were outside watching the guys work.

Other than that excitement, I spent most of the day doing baby laundry and trying to organize the donations - more came in today, believe it or not! I'm still not quite sure how we're going to get all of this plus 5 kids and 2 adults in the van on Saturday, but we'll figure it out - that's on the agenda for tomorrow. Hopefully we can get it all packed tomorrow and then Saturday morning we can just get up, eat breakfast, and leave!

Here's most of it. Yes, most. Not all. Most.

Again, I can't thank everyone enough for their generosity. I already took one big bag of stuff that I knew she couldn't use (some adult clothes, some girl clothes, and tap shoes...yes, tap shoes) to the thrift store in town today to get it out of my way, and hopefully I can even start bagging up some of this stuff tonight. The generosity that has been shown has been amazing, not only to me and The Dude, but also to my friend - she's been watching these posts and although she isn't saying much publicly because of confidentiality issues, she has asked me to express how grateful and appreciative she is. I am so thankful that I can be a part of it.

What should I write about?

I've been sitting here all night, chatting with friends and trying to figure out what to write about. I get bored just saying "we did this and this and this blah blah blah today" and I know that it has to get boring to read. So I posted a question on my facebook page and asked what I should write about and got several suggestions. So, I'm going to attempt to combine all of them.....

This could be interesting....

The first suggestion was from One Tired Mama, who said that I should write about what I'm thankful for - and that's really an easy one, but it's something that we all take for granted.

I am so incredibly thankful for my kids. Of course, they aggravate and annoy me on a daily basis - poopy pants from kids who are old enough to know better, jumping on beds, refusing to eat supper, arguing, bickering, and the like all get old very quickly. But at the same time, the hugs and kisses and love that I get from them make it all worthwhile. They really are great kids, and they've all been through a lot in their short lives, but I think that they are all coming through it alright. We still have our issues, and we always will, but we are a family and we love each other regardless of the crappy days.

I am thankful for my friends and family who have supported me over the years. I know that I put some of them through hell with my whining and complaining when things were rough - but they stuck by me and showed me how much they love and care about me, and for that I can never thank them enough.

I am thankful that right now I am financially secure enough to be a stay-at-home mom and to keep a roof over our heads and dependable wheels under our butts to get us to where we need to go at a moment's notice. I know that we can make ends meet, even if it is tight at times. And because of that, I can focus on the kids and what they need.

But I think right now, I am most thankful for The Dude. He has put up with a lot of crap from me since we started dating. He has dealt with my mood swings and my stressed-out frazzled crazy self, he has held me while I've cried, he has celebrated the good times, and he has shown me so much love and support that I never even imagined was possible. He is truly an amazing guy, and I have learned so much about myself simply by being with him. I now know that no matter how much I might have tried to fight it, it is possible for me to love and be loved again. And yes, in case there was any doubt from anyone, I LOVE HIM.

There....see? I used the L-word!

Now, back to that status on my facebook page...

While my neighbor does have a dog, she's a good dog, and she doesn't bark much unless there's something to bark about (usually). She does alert me if there's something going on, but for the most part she's quiet. So I really can't complain about barking dogs....

And as for butt plugs....I have to say that I will leave that one up to the experts, as I have no experience in that department. However, I will admit that I have been tempted to jam a cork into a few butts around this house - it might cut down on the amount of laundry that I have to do, but at the same time, it could increase the amount of paperwork that I would need to do once the State found out about it and took my kids from me.

My favorite "go-to dinners" was another suggestion. That one's actually a tough one, because I can't get all of my kids to agree on ANYTHING for supper. However, the 2 youngest will always eat macaroni and cheese (barf) or peanut butter and jelly. Generally, anything kid-friendly will work in a pinch....pizza is always good. Or stromboli, but that takes some planning since the dough has to thaw out for a few hours before I can make it. They like hamburger helper (barf) too. And sometimes spaghetti. And there's always the good ol' standby - anything from any fast food restaurant (which I've been trying to avoid lately).

And last but not least....how am I feeling about my walk tomorrow and the half-marathon on Sunday. Well, I'm not worried about the walk tomorrow, since it's just a walk. The Dude is spending the night tonight at a friend's house so that he can watch the NFL draft stuff, so we are picking him up on the way to the walk and taking him with us. It's an easy, untimed walk around one of the parks in Wichita so it'll be fun and it's for a great cause. While I am relieved that I don't have to wear Cowboys crap for it, I am disappointed that I didn't meet my challenge of raising $250 for it. There's always next year though....

Now the half-marathon on Sunday - yeah, I'm worried about that one. I did it last year in 3:12:32 and I would love to beat that time this year. Actually, I would love to do it in under 3 hours. But, I feel totally unprepared, and I'm just not sure that I can do it. I'm going to give it my all though - I have The Dude's mp3 player to keep my mind occupied, and I found my watch that I can use to keep my pace, so as long as I can stay focused and I don't hurt too much, I can do it. I know that I can finish it - I'm just worried about my time. But just like life, I will get through it one step at a time.

So there you go - a blog post brought to you by the wonderful friendly folks who follow me on facebook!