Awesomeness. Lots of it.

The past few days have been crazy insane, but in such a good way.

I went to Oklahoma City and ran a (slightly more than) 5K leg of the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon on Sunday. It was an amazing experience. The marathon itself is a fundraiser for the Oklahoma City National Memorial & Museum that honors the victims of the bombing there 20 years ago. With over 25,000 runners, this was by far the biggest race that I've ever participated in, and it was incredible.

 I ran faster than I've ever run before, and amazed myself with what I accomplished that day. I ended my leg of the run with a smile on my face, and didn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

But more on that later....

I got a ton of stuff done outside today. I mowed the grass (always a huge job), finished weeding the huge front flower bed, got some more flowers planted, watered stuff, got some more seedlings transferred out to the garden (hopefully these actually, you know, survive), planted some more flowers, watered stuff....you get the idea.

Baseball season officially started tonight for Daniel. We rode our bikes up to the practice field and on our way back, we got to see some wildlife that we don't get to see very often - at least not sitting still.

But probably the best part of the last few days....

Remember that memorial quilt that I was working on? It was for my friend's mother-in-law, whose husband passed away in January. I was given a bunch of his work shirts and pants to use to make a quilt. My friend gave me a basic pattern idea, we talked about various details, but for the most part I designed it as I went along. I was terrified that the mother-in-law wasn't going to like it.

After we got done running the race in OKC, my team and I went out to eat. We were sitting in the rocking chairs in front of a Cracker Barrel, waiting for our table, and I scrolled through my facebook newsfeed. There I saw it - my friend's post with pictures of her mother-in-law seeing the quilt for the first time. It was all I could do not to burst into tears right then and there.

Right there. It just doesn't get any better than that.

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I know I've been nagging on my facebook page, but I'm going to do it here too just in case you missed it. This coming Saturday is the Great Strides Walk for Cystic Fibrosis. I am participating in that to raise money for research for a cure for this horrible disease that directly affects our family. If you would like to make a contribution, you can do that here.

But wait! There's more!

In order to encourage people to donate, I've agreed to do a couple of things.

For $1000, I will dye my hair purple (not the wash-out kind, either) AND I will get rid of my ugly rainbow-colored crocs that everyone loves to hate.

Seriously though - please help if you can. It would mean so much to me.

The past few days.

I feel like I have to play catch-up. I've kind of lost track of some things over the past few days.

I vaguely remember telling someone that I would post a picture showing what I mean when I say that I have to "mow the trees" in my yard, so here it is.

Sunrise from the parking lot at work.

Alex's procedures yesterday. They went very well. Visually, everything is fine so we just have to wait for biopsy results, which we also expect will be normal. They were just done as a routine part of the scopes. Again, I'm not going into details about what is going on with him, but generally speaking we are trying to rule some things out, which it appears that we did.

Gotta' love those post-op popsicles.

And we got some nifty pictures of his (healthy) innards.

After not eating for about 36 hours, we were hungry. He chose Spangles - and I didn't complain.

Later, we decided to go out for a bit. We grabbed something to eat for supper, stopped at the library, then headed to the pool.

Yup. Same kid who had a colonoscopy and
endoscopy 10 hours before...

He *wanted* his ears like that.

Today was a rougher day. I received news through facebook that Jared's buddy, who has been battling brain cancer since last fall, had passed away. Jared was already back at his father's house when I found out, so I let him tell him - because honestly, I couldn't. Then I found out later that he hadn't actually passed, but things were looking very bleak. Needless to say, he has been on my mind all day long.

Then The Dude and I went and met with Mortgage Lady, hoping to get some good news. My credit scores were where they needed to be to be pre-approved for a loan, and I had all of the documentation that I needed. When she pulled my official credit report, there were some issues. In the grand scheme of things, they're not major issues, but they're bad enough that it's going to be at least another month - or maybe two - until we can move on and get the pre-approval. I had gotten my hopes up, and when I left her office I felt totally deflated. Honestly, I still do.

Just some of the paperwork so far.

As horrible as today has been, I'm trying so hard to keep it all in perspective. I know that things in my own life could be so much worse than they really are but right now I'm going through one of those times when I really wish that the crap would stop piling up on top of me. Waiting on updates on Jared's friend is tearing my heart to shreds, and finding out that we're NOT as close to getting a house as I thought we were has made today one of the hardest days for me in recent history.

But, it could be worse.

One step at a time. That's all I can do.

Last minute change of plans...

...and sometimes those are the best.

We didn't really have plans to do much of anything today. Well, I was going to clean and do laundry and stuff, but that was about it. Then a friend of mine texted me to let me know that she and her son and her girlfriend were going to be at the lake near our house and we should come out and say hi.

I mentioned it to The Dude, and he said that we should go fishing while we were there.

The mad scramble ensued.

I got a quick shower (yes, before I went fishing) and dug the fishing poles out of the garage and tossed them into the van along with the chairs. The boys and I went and got The Dude, we ran a couple of errands, dropped Alex off with The Dude's mother (he, uh, had some issues and lost the chance to go fishing) and took off for the lake.

We stopped at the bait shop first, where Daniel swindled The Dude out of a quarter...and we got our fishing licenses for the rest of the year. Now, we are free to go fishing whenever we want to go - and I fully intend to do exactly that.

Then we cruised around for a while until we found our friends. The joy of that lake in particular is that there is virtually zero cell phone reception - and that's a good thing when we just want to unplug and get away.

A few random shots...

Getting situated.

Trying to figure it all out.

Giving a few more pointers.

There was the threat of severe weather.

Across the lake.

Travis's first catch - and yes, photobombed by some punk who
wouldn't leave us alone, even when the park rangers sent
him back over to his parents.

Love this view. Even with the crocs and
ugly pants.

Raven's foster puppy. She was so tired.

He got bored with fishing and decided to dig holes.

And he caught one...

First catch - for him.

It was actually clear for a while.

My big - and only - catch of the day.
I even sacrificed a worm by throwing him straight into the water
in an attempt to appease the fishing gods and allow me to catch
just one fish - but it didn't work.

Budweiser can - a quick google search placed it from 1996.

His second one.

Christine and Travis, giving each other a hard time like only
mothers and sons can do.

Like a little old man...

Raven wasn't thrilled about being this close to it.
But she was a good sport about it!

And his third catch. The big showoff.

 And of course we had to do the goofy couples pictures, just for the heck of it.

Me and The Dude (obviously)

Raven and Christine

So anyway, we had a blast but had to scoot out of there fairly quickly as the weather started to roll into the area. We got back into town, picked Alex back up, grabbed some pizza, came home, ate, did baths..... and now I have to do all of the cleaning that I didn't do today while I was out drowning worms. I get to work bright and early in the morning (yay - extra hours!) so The Dude is going to be hanging out here with the kids while I go and do that, and then maybe I'll get to take a nap in the afternoon. Ha.

A year of love...and bizarre connections

One year ago today I took a step that I swore that I would never take again.

I finally admitted that I was in love with The Dude - and I told him.

It was kind of funny how it came about. A dear friend of mine needed a ride to the airport in the wee hours of the morning. She came here and spent the night, and we got maybe an hour of sleep before we had to get up and hit the road for the 3 hour drive. The Dude spent the night as well so that he could take Alex to school for me that morning, and he was still (half)asleep when we were getting ready to leave. I was honestly worried about having an accident because I had gotten so little sleep and had 6 hours of driving ahead of me, and I figured that if I was going to die in a fiery crash, then by God he was going to know how I felt about him. (Yes, that is seriously the thought that went through my head at the time.)

Before she and I walked out the door, I walked back over to the bed, sat down on the edge of it, gave him a quick kiss and told him that I loved him. And yes, he said it back to me. :)

Needless to say, I made it back alive - and incredibly happy. We've made it through great times and bad, but somehow we always manage to do it together and we haven't strangled each other - yet. I'm still not sure how he puts up with my crap on a daily basis, but he does and I am forever grateful for that.

Dreaming of hot days out at the lake.....

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Now, here's where the story gets kind of funny. The friend who needed a ride to the airport - well, she has a facebook page and a blog and they can be found here. We have another friend who - surprise - has a page and a blog and they can be found here. The three of us have been friends for almost 9 years now, and we've also had our shares of ups and downs - but we'll always be friends no matter what. Plus we have this really bizarre connection - 1st Time Mama and I share our "non-anniversary" - we each married our first husbands on August 14, 1999 - long before we knew each other. August 14 also happens to be Ordinary Girl's birthday.

Plus, today is 1st Time Mama's birthday AND it's the anniversary of the day that I admitted that I love The Dude.

There are other eerie similarities and connections between the three of us, but I'll leave the rest of it up to your imaginations!

So, go and visit their pages and make sure that you wish 1st Time Mama a very happy birthday too - she's on a road trip at the moment so I'm not sure how often she's checking in, but it would be cool for her to find lots of birthday wishes on her page!

An open letter to a friend.

You know who you are.

You're my friend, and I love you. We have a bond, one created by common interests and kids and friends and lots of other little things. We've stuck by each other through a lot of crap.

You're now stuck in a place where I once was. It's not a pretty place. In fact, it's downright scary and dangerous. And I know that you know that.

Abuse is not an easy subject to talk about - especially when it's happening to you. I know that. I know that.

I've been there. And I learned a few things from it.

You think you have it under control because you got him out of the house, but you're wrong. He'll come back. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But he'll come back.

You say he can't get into your head, but guess what? He's already there. Otherwise, this letter wouldn't be necessary.

You can't control the situation. No matter how strong you think you are, he can and will be stronger. It might not happen immediately, but it will happen. You put him in a different situation than before, and he'll figure out a different way to use it against you and to make you think that you're in the wrong - and you're not.

You say that it's different this time - but until you take the next step, it's not.

It's not about him and what's best for him or protecting him.

This time, it's all about YOU.

You know what you need to do, but you don't want to do it. I get that. I really do. I swear to you, I GET IT. But you have to do it. You have to prove not only to him but to YOURSELF that you are in control of this. You have to protect YOU and YOUR KIDS. And if that means taking that next step, that's what you need to do.

I know it's hard. I know you love him. But you have to love yourself more. You have to love your kids more. You need to step back and take care of YOU and allow him to take care of himself for a while. You can't force him to do it. He has to want it for himself - and I hope and pray that he does because I know that he's a good man who is battling demons of his own.

I might get mad at you and yell at you as you go through this, but it's only because for once in my life, I do know what I'm talking about. You are in my old place, and I want you out of there more than anything because it's not fun. And I will do anything that I can possibly do to help you get out of there because YOU DESERVE BETTER. You hear that?

YOU DESERVE BETTER. 

I love you. And I'm here for you, no matter what.

Random stuff and a personal request

A little bit of crafty stuff....

I'm participating in this quilting swap thingee. I can't think of what it's actually called right off of the top of my head, but basically there are 5 people in a group. We each make a row. Then we send our row to the next person, who adds a row. Then it gets sent to the next person, etc etc etc. So when we get our first row back, it now has 4 more rows attached to it, all made by different people all over the country.

Anyway....this is the row that I got from one of the ladies in the group. She is going with a "rustic fall" theme.

I laid it out on my bed and stared at it for a while, trying to figure out what to do with it next. I had a couple of ideas but decided against them and decided to just make some more traditional squares.

Of course, I wasn't paying attention on the first square, and it came out way too small, so I had to start over. But as of right now, I have 2 squares done, and I'm hoping to get the other 3 done this week so that I can get them attached and mail her row on to the next person - and then wait for the next row to come to me.

It's a fun project, and something that I've never done before - so I'm really anxious to see what my quilt looks like by the time that I get it back - although that won't be for several months yet.

In other news, I've been on a quest for a new datebook for the past couple of weeks. I had bought my typical little cheapie from the dollar store, but they changed the format of the pages in it and it just wasn't going to work anymore. I looked online to try to find something, but I didn't really like (or couldn't afford) anything that I saw there. I had to take The Dude to the dentist today and when we got done there we had to go to WalHell to get his prescriptions filled and so I looked at the datebooks that they had there.

It's a little bigger than I wanted and it was a little more expensive than I wanted (I'm a cheapskate. I admit it.) but it has lots of room and I think that it'll work just fine. I already started transferring information into it while Emily was at basketball practice tonight - when I wasn't dealing with argumentative kids who wanted to do absolutely nothing but irritate the snot out of me for the entire time that we were there.

Now....for the request.....

Please forgive me for the vagueness of this, but I just can't go into specifics because of the situation.

I have a friend, a dear friend from high school. Our lives went in different directions after graduation, but we stayed in touch for years and then lost each other, and then found each other again through the miracle that is facebook, and got to see each other live and in person last summer for the first time since graduation (I think), and I got to meet her kids, and it was wonderful.

Anyway, she is now going through something that I believe is probably the worst nightmare that a parent can endure, short of the death of a child. I had heard about the situation before, but didn't realize that there was a connection between it and her until today, when we exchanged some brief messages. My heart is breaking for her and her family right now, and I can't even begin to imagine how she is feeling. She is devastated and heartbroken and there is nothing that I can do to help her except to be there for her and love and support her from afar, and it just doesn't feel like enough.

So I am asking you to please, say a prayer for her and her family. Or if that's not your thing, send a happy thought or a good vibe or something to her. Go out and do something to help someone else. Make a donation to a charity. Something. Anything. She's in the midst of hell right now, and something good has got to come out of it. Somehow. Some way. And I don't know how else to do it.

There's too much bad crap happening in the world. Go do something good.