Randomness.

~~ I don't know how long it's been since I've been out for a run, but it's about to kill me. I need to get out and get moving again for so many reasons. However, I made the mistake of yanking on what I thought was a tiny little piece of dead skin on my big toe, and *ouch* - instant hangnail/swelling/pain. So I've been babying that thing like crazy trying to get it to heal because right now it hurts to even put a shoe on that foot. But, it's getting there. Another couple of days, maybe.

~~ I really need to remember to take the trash out tonight. And to dump all of the *ahem* leftovers-disguised-as-science-experiments out of the fridge first.

~~I can really make a mess when I cook. But my philosophy is that the bigger the mess, the better the food. And yes, the food was good last night. The mess was all that was left of it by the time we were done.

~~ Another reason to get out and start running again is because I am determined to do the half-marathon again this year - and to significantly reduce my time (not just by a few seconds again). I want to do it in under 3 hours this time, and I will do anything in my power to make that happen. I have until May 5 to get ready for it...but I need to get registered before the end of the month.

~~ That silly letter from the Tooth Fairy now has 3000 shares off of my page alone on facebook. 3000 shares. Really? Of course, I've also found about 10 different radio stations that have swiped it and posted it as their own and gotten hundreds (if not thousands) of shares on it as well. It just blows my mind.

~~ I find it kind of funny when people tell me that they admire me for "keeping it all together all the time". If they only knew how chaotic things really get around here.....they would change that opinion really quickly. My kids are far from being perfect kids, and I am far from being a perfect mother - but somehow we make it work, most of the time.

~~ I really hate this house. I hate it more and more every day.....as I pull on a second pair of socks to keep my toes warm. I can not wait to get us moved out of here and into a better place.

~~I wonder if the ghost will move with us when we do find a new place.

~~ I really wish that I would have wiped that gigantic glob of spilled toothpaste off of the front of the bathroom sink when I saw it earlier. But on the plus side, my dirty laundry now smells minty fresh and I have on a clean pair of sweatpants.

~~I just realized when I looked at the ticker on here that I have been smoke-free for 6 months. Woot!

~~I still have a million things that I need to get done tonight, and I'm not getting any of them done while I'm sitting here complaining about having to get them done.



Brain dump complete. Carry on.

Another project done....

Just a quickie update.

Remember the quilt row that I was working on? It came to me from a woman in Tennessee.

Well, I just finished my row. So now it will go out in the mail (probably on Monday) and head to Florida, where the next participant will add another row to it.

The next row (which is now actually 2 rows) has already been mailed to me, so once I get that, I will add the third row to it. I should be receiving that in the next day or two as well.

So now that I finished that, I'm going to clean up my mess and head to bed. I only have to deal with one basketball game tomorrow morning, and then we have absolutely no plans for the rest of the day. Hopefully we can actually keep it that way - but I'm not going to count on it.

Time to update the (not quite a) bucket list

A few months ago, I wrote a post with a sort of bucket list. I was having a crappy day week and needed to get some stuff off of my chest. In the process, I came up with a list of things that I wanted to do before my birthday, which is coming up in *cough* 3 days.

A reader asked me tonight if I had finished everything on the list and I went back and looked at it, and realized that I've hardly done anything on it. Oops.

I'm running out of time to finish my list, don't you think?

So, here's the original list - and what I have or have not accomplished:

1. Run a 5K. Not walk 3/4 of it. Run it. Or at least jog it. Nope. Not even close yet.

2. Get to the point that I can go out and at least walk 13.1 miles (a half-marathon) a couple of times a month. Ditto.

3. Go on a date with The Dude. Alone. With no kids. Just me and him - out somewhere, in public, together. We don't get to do that nearly enough. I think - technically - we've managed to do this once or twice. Maybe a few quiet lunches together. So yes, we've done it, but not quite what I had in mind yet, so I'm not crossing it off yet.

4. Get a manicure. Not a do-it-myselfer. A real one. Nope.

5. Read a book. From start to finish. Yes. I have done that. And you should too. Go and buy this book and read it. Because I said so, that's why.

6. Cook a meal - for me. Whatever I want with no complaints from anyone else. I actually do this on occasion. Not very often, but I have found myself actually making a real lunch for myself when the kids are at school.

7. Go bowling. I haven't gone in years, and I miss it. (Maybe combine with #3?) Nope. Not yet.

8. Actually finish one of the many quilts that I have started. I did do this. There's even a picture to prove it.

9. Volunteer at the homeless shelter. Not yet.

10. Actually take one of the quilt designs in my head, put it on paper, and then make it. And finish it. Gah! Why have I not done this yet???

11. Save enough money to get a new digital camera so that I don't have to use my crappy phone for all of my pictures. Thanks to a wonderful friend, I did not have to do this. They had an amazing spare camera that they sent to me. I love my friends!

12. Lose 25 more pounds. Yeah. We won't even go there.

13. Get new sneakers. That's going to have to happen within the next couple of weeks. No choice there. Done.

14. Make a charity quilt. That's actually started - but I need to finish it. *sigh* Still not finished.

15. Go hang out at the coffee shop once in a while, just to get out of the house. Done. Not very often, but done.

16. Get the bikes fixed, and go for a bike ride. That one will necessitate getting past some fear, but I want to do it. Ran into financial difficulties with this one.

17. Get my kitchen chairs fixed. I keep putting it off, but it needs to be done. I want it to be done. Two of them are actually getting fixed. Now that I think about it, I need to call them and see if they're done yet.

18. Go through all of my clothes and donate what I don't wear or need. An ongoing process, but one that I plan on working on tomorrow in conjunction with my own personal "pay it forward" mission.

19. Get out and walk/jog at least 3 times per week - regardless of the weather or how crappy I feel. Yeah, I've really slacked there.

20. Find and try at least one new recipe every week - whether the kids like it or not. Slacker.

21. Start cooking ahead and freezing meals - if for no other reason than to reduce my stress. Yes. I have done this. Not as often as I want to, but it's a matter of getting into a new habit.

22. Make the apron that I've designed and redesigned in my head at least a dozen times now. Oops.

23. Actually buy, fill out, and send Christmas cards this year. Did. Totally did. Honest.

24. Use the weights and exercise CDs that I have sitting around collecting dust. See #12.

25. Learn how to knit. Or crochet. Or maybe both. I'm really beginning to think that I suck at this particular list.

26. Start making my own laundry detergent again. I've gotten lazy. Lazy is as lazy does....

27. Organize the garage - because it really needs to be done. Hey, it's cold out there.

So. Yeah.

Not very impressive, and since I only have 3 days left, I don't forsee many more things being crossed off of the list. However, this gives me a good starting point to create my new list. And it's going to have 43 things to accomplish before I turn 43 - so that will give me a whole year to get everything done.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

We need to turn it around...

I went into the beginning of this new year full of hope and excitement. I really do think that there are going to be some wonderful things happening for me and my family this year. I was anxious to get this year started for so many positive reasons.

But then the new year started - and it didn't start well at all.

I found out on the second day of the year that one of my friends was going through a personal hell, and as a mother, it hit home for me.

On the third day, we got more devastating news that again, hit me so incredibly hard.

The Dude has been having problems with his truck. My "service engine" light was on. He has to get two teeth pulled tomorrow afternoon.

It just hasn't been a stellar start to the year. But at the same time I know that it could always be worse.

We spent part of the afternoon today working on his truck. Although we didn't get it fixed, we have now narrowed down the problem and are about 98% sure that we know what's wrong with it. He can drive it for now, for short distances, but it needs to be fixed. Of course that doesn't come for free, but we can get it taken care of in the next couple of weeks.

My "service engine" light? I had a sneaking suspicion desperate hope that it was something stupid - and it was. Turns out the gas cap wasn't on tight enough to make it happy. Stupid thing. But the light's off now, so it's good.

Tonight, however.....tonight was hard. As I mentioned the other day, a little boy who was the son of one of Sarah's mentors was killed in a horrible accident last week. As a mother, I can't even begin to imagine the impact of losing a child. I just can't wrap my head around it. After the kids got home from school and basketball practice tonight, Sarah announced that she wanted to go to the boy's viewing. I wasn't sure that it was a good idea, but she and I talked about it and she really wanted to go. I told her she would have to check with her father, since she was supposed to go to church with him tonight. He agreed that she could go, but only if I went with her. So plans quickly changed, Ex1 came and got Emily and Jared, I took Alex and Daniel over to The Dude's house, and Sarah and I went to the viewing.

It was so hard. So incredibly hard. Seeing the little boy's parents and sisters there, and the other mourners...looking at the pictures and the videos from his short little life....my heart shattered so many times tonight. Seeing the pain in his mother's eyes as she hugged me and thanked me for coming....I have tears running down my face as I'm typing this.

All I've been able to think for the past few days is "something's got to give" - there has been too much bad stuff to start off a new year. Way too much. It needs to change, and somehow we need to turn it around. So I started thinking - always dangerous for me to do.

Tomorrow, January 10, 2013 is my 2 year blogiversary. It's been 2 years since I started this crazy thing.  And Sunday, January 13, is both my 42nd birthday and the 2nd anniversary of the day that my 2nd divorce became final.

I need to celebrate. I want to celebrate. I want to be happy. While I can't forget about the bad stuff, I can't focus on it - and I don't want anyone else to focus on the bad stuff either.

So what do we do?

I know what I'm going to do. I've always been a huge fan of the "Pay it Forward" movement (as is my good friend over at Mom-troversial) and I'm going to start making a really conscious effort to pay it forward as much as I can and in as many ways as I can. I have a pile of stuff sitting by my front door already that needs to be donated - and it's going to go out this week. We have toys that the kids have outgrown or they don't like or whatever. Guess what? They're going out the door too.

I've made up my mind that I am going to do as much as I can for two of my favorite local organizations too - our homeless shelter and our women's safe house. I have my own personal reasons for choosing those two in particular, but they're going to be getting some of my time, my money, and any of my "stuff" that they can use.

So - for my blogiversary and for my birthday, this is the best gift that anyone could give to me (*cough* along with a pair of warm fuzzy slippers so that I don't have to keep wearing The Dude's that are 18 sizes too big for me *cough*). Go out and do something for someone. Donate something somewhere. Be nice to someone. Donate something that you don't need anymore instead of selling it. Volunteer your time. If you have the cash, make a donation to a local organization that needs it. There are so many ways that we can make someone else's life just a little bit easier, but we overlook those things so often in our hurry to deal with our own lives. Pay it forward, people. Please.

So go and do it, and tell me what you did. Leave it in a comment here, post it on my facebook wall, send me an email, whatever. Tell the world that you did it, and maybe you'll inspire someone else to do the same thing.

The now infamous Tooth Fairy letter.

Holy crap.

That's about all I can say right now. Had I known what would happen when I posted a picture of a letter that the Tooth Fairy wrote to Emily at about 1:00 this morning, I might have thought twice. Or not.

The letter.

I thought that a few people would get a chuckle out of it, and that would be it. Now, here I sit less than 24 hours later....and there are almost 1900 likes on it on facebook and it has been shared almost the same number of times. More than 300 new people have come to my facebook page and have 'liked' that as well.

Really? It was just a silly letter to try to get my kid to clean her room.

I would say that well over 99% of the comments that I received and/or saw on other pages were positive - something that shocks me. It seems like even the most innocent share can trigger the haters and trolls to come out of the woodwork - so I got really nervous when I saw the numbers exploding after I posted it.

There were a few questions raised, and rather than attempt to answer them through comments on facebook, I figured I'd just address them all here. It's easy. And I might have a lazy streak in me at times.

The most common question related to the "bodies" in the bed. Yes, Emily is 11 years old, so no, there are no boys in her bed (unless one of her brothers sneaks in there during the night). The only other live body was that of her 13 year old sister, who insists on sleeping in the bottom bunk with Emily more often than not. And it irritates me to no end - whenever they sleep in the same bed, they end up fighting over the covers or who kicked who in the face or whose breath stinks the worst or whatever. So I hate when they sleep in the same bed. Plus, there were several inanimate bodies in the bed as well as a bunch of extra pillows and covers and all sorts of crap that made it next to impossible to find the tooth pillow under her pillow.

Tooth pillow. What's a tooth pillow? I saw that comment somewhere. If you look at this post you can see a picture of the tooth pillow. I got it when I was little, and the kids have all used it. It makes it much easier for the Tooth Fairy to find the tooth under the pillow in the bed if it's in this, and then the money gets stuck in the pocket so that it doesn't get lost either.

One comment that really kind of ticked me off annoyed me caught my eye was on one of the shares, where someone said something to the effect of me being a horrible mother, and my kid was going to be scarred for life. Uh huh. Whatever. I'm pretty sure that not getting her buck for her tooth until her room is clean is going to put her in therapy. Get over it.

There was another that wanted to know why she had to ask THE MOTHER and not THE FATHER. Too bad that was on a share too, so I couldn't comment and tell that person that there is no father in this house. I'm a single mom. I have The Dude, but he doesn't live here, and he's not their father. That one kind of bugged me too, but I just chalked it up to someone not being familiar with the story.

Probably the most common question was "did it work?"

Before

The answer to that is yes. And no.

Let me start off by saying that I do take responsibility for some of the mess in this room. We rearranged a month or two ago, and I had to take some of their shelves off of the wall in order to do it, and things kept distracting me and I didn't get the shelves put back up. And well, it's hard to put things away when the shelves aren't there. However, that has nothing to do with the dirty laundry all over the floor, or the garbage in general that was spread out all over the place.

They definitely started out strong. They got in there and they really started working. I got the shelves put back up (busted out some power tools to do it too...hehehe) and got some other shelves anchored to the wall and they got a lot of stuff put away. We had to stop to take Sarah to the school for open gym, and then we came back and worked some more, and then we had to stop again to take Emily to the school for basketball practice, so we kept getting distracted.

During

I thought that things were going really well in there, and it was starting to look really good, but then they dug into a huge tub (the green one in the 'before' picture) that was full of old artwork. It had been stored in cardboard boxes before, but the boxes got broken down over time and so we tossed everything into this tub. And they dug it all out and started going through it, so more of a mess was created. But, we got rid of a bunch of it, so that will help in the long run.

So yes, it worked to a point. The room is not clean by any stretch of the imagination, but they put in a good effort. So I may go ahead and allow the Tooth Fairy to come back tonight - especially since they'll be at their father's house for the next couple of nights. However, considering that it's after 11:00 and I can still hear them, I may cancel it again tonight.


Now....for something really funny. While Sarah was at open gym, I took the other 4 kids to the convenience store to get drinks. I left Emily and the boys in the van and went in to get what we needed, and then realized that I didn't ask her what she wanted. So I went back out to the van with drinks for me and the boys, and sent her into the store to get something for herself. She came out with a bottle of Jones soda.

If you're not familiar with Jones soda, they have little sayings under their caps. Keep in mind that we got these in the middle of the cleaning spree - and this is what Emily got:

(*Edited to add: In case you're wondering about how Emily has handled the hubbub around the letter, read this post - especially if you're one of the people who has something negative to say about it.)

(*Edited again regarding the hateful comments and judgment that I've received about this thing.)

(**Edited again to add: Emily has written her own post about this thing. If you'd like to read that - and you should - you need to click here.)

Too much. Just too much.

If you hang around on my facebook page at all, you might have noticed that I decided to hide for a while yesterday. I feel like I owe you an explanation so that you know that we're all ok. Sort of.

Yesterday afternoon, Ex1 called me. He wanted to warn me that Sarah was probably going to have a bit of a rough evening. I could tell from the tone of his voice that it was bad, but I had no way of knowing just how bad it was until he said it.

Without going into too much detail, a woman who has been a mentor to Sarah was in a horrific accident, and her toddler son was killed. The woman and her infant daughter were both injured, with the baby sustaining more serious injuries.

Sarah, obviously, is devastated along with so many of her friends. As a mother, I am completely heartbroken. I don't know what I would do if something like this were to happen to one of my kids. I honestly don't think that I could handle it. I really don't.

As I was getting off of the phone with Ex1, trying to absorb the information that he had just handed me, my phone immediately rang again. This time it was Alex's father, who was calling to let me know that Alex's great-grandfather had passed away the night before. So he came over last evening to tell Alex.

And of course, it doesn't end there. We had to go pick Jared up from basketball practice after supper, and this lovely sight greeted me when I got in the van. So while The Dude's truck is still broken, I'm praying every time that we get into the van that it is just something stupid triggering that stupid light, but we all know how my luck with vehicles goes....needless to say, we need to get this checked out immediately, or we'll be down to no vehicles between the two of us, and that just won't work.

But I have to say this....and I know that I've said it once or twice before. I am so lucky and so grateful to have The Dude in our lives. He has been dealing with 2 broken teeth (when it rains it pours) and has been absolutely miserable and in horrible pain. He had planned to just stay home and crash last night so that he could get up for work this morning, but instead he came over and just hung out with us to keep us company since we were all having such a rough night. He was in no condition to do much of anything, but just having him here made such a big difference. He is definitely my rock.





~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
P.S. I intentionally left out the details of the accident, and the specific relationship that Sarah has with this woman for many reasons, not the least of which is because I don't reveal specifics about our location. Please respect that - and if you know more because you're local and/or you know us - please do not divulge those details here.

Random stuff and a personal request

A little bit of crafty stuff....

I'm participating in this quilting swap thingee. I can't think of what it's actually called right off of the top of my head, but basically there are 5 people in a group. We each make a row. Then we send our row to the next person, who adds a row. Then it gets sent to the next person, etc etc etc. So when we get our first row back, it now has 4 more rows attached to it, all made by different people all over the country.

Anyway....this is the row that I got from one of the ladies in the group. She is going with a "rustic fall" theme.

I laid it out on my bed and stared at it for a while, trying to figure out what to do with it next. I had a couple of ideas but decided against them and decided to just make some more traditional squares.

Of course, I wasn't paying attention on the first square, and it came out way too small, so I had to start over. But as of right now, I have 2 squares done, and I'm hoping to get the other 3 done this week so that I can get them attached and mail her row on to the next person - and then wait for the next row to come to me.

It's a fun project, and something that I've never done before - so I'm really anxious to see what my quilt looks like by the time that I get it back - although that won't be for several months yet.

In other news, I've been on a quest for a new datebook for the past couple of weeks. I had bought my typical little cheapie from the dollar store, but they changed the format of the pages in it and it just wasn't going to work anymore. I looked online to try to find something, but I didn't really like (or couldn't afford) anything that I saw there. I had to take The Dude to the dentist today and when we got done there we had to go to WalHell to get his prescriptions filled and so I looked at the datebooks that they had there.

It's a little bigger than I wanted and it was a little more expensive than I wanted (I'm a cheapskate. I admit it.) but it has lots of room and I think that it'll work just fine. I already started transferring information into it while Emily was at basketball practice tonight - when I wasn't dealing with argumentative kids who wanted to do absolutely nothing but irritate the snot out of me for the entire time that we were there.

Now....for the request.....

Please forgive me for the vagueness of this, but I just can't go into specifics because of the situation.

I have a friend, a dear friend from high school. Our lives went in different directions after graduation, but we stayed in touch for years and then lost each other, and then found each other again through the miracle that is facebook, and got to see each other live and in person last summer for the first time since graduation (I think), and I got to meet her kids, and it was wonderful.

Anyway, she is now going through something that I believe is probably the worst nightmare that a parent can endure, short of the death of a child. I had heard about the situation before, but didn't realize that there was a connection between it and her until today, when we exchanged some brief messages. My heart is breaking for her and her family right now, and I can't even begin to imagine how she is feeling. She is devastated and heartbroken and there is nothing that I can do to help her except to be there for her and love and support her from afar, and it just doesn't feel like enough.

So I am asking you to please, say a prayer for her and her family. Or if that's not your thing, send a happy thought or a good vibe or something to her. Go out and do something to help someone else. Make a donation to a charity. Something. Anything. She's in the midst of hell right now, and something good has got to come out of it. Somehow. Some way. And I don't know how else to do it.

There's too much bad crap happening in the world. Go do something good.