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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I don't even know what to say.

It's been a day. A day full of ups and downs.

The morning was crazy. Alex and Jared both woke up with wet beds, but luckily I at least got them stripped and the wet sheets into the washer before we all left for school. Annoying, but not so bad in the grand scheme of things.

After Daniel and I got back from dropping everyone else off, I at least got Jared's bed remade, but hadn't gotten as far as getting Alex's done.

The Dude has been fighting some pretty severe back and neck pain, and was finally able to get into the doctor yesterday. The doctor poked and prodded and ordered x-rays, which of course couldn't be done until today. So before I took Daniel to school, we took The Dude to the hospital for the x-rays. We don't know anything yet, but he's hurting. And he's miserable. And it sucks.

I took Daniel to school and then went back to The Dude's house and hung out with him for the afternoon. While I was there, Ex1 called me.

Rewind about 13 years, when Ex1 and I moved in together. We lived on the same property as our landlords, an older couple with children about our age. They were our landlords, but they were our neighbors and our friends. We did things together. We asked them for advice. They were guests at our wedding. They were there for the birth of my older 3 kids. Even after we bought our house 5 years later and moved out, we still kept in touch with them. After Ex1 and I divorced, he moved back out to the same little house on their property and lived there for about another 5 years before he and Wife3 bought their current house. So this couple has been an integral part of our lives for a very long time, and have been sort of surrogate grandparents to my older 3 kids. Several years ago, the wife was diagnosed with cancer. She fought a long, hard, brave fight...but she lost the battle this morning. Ex1 and I decided to wait to tell the kids until he brought them to my house after school today.

When he and Wife3 brought them home, we told them. And it was awful. I knew that they wouldn't take it well, but to see the heartbreak....I can't even begin to describe it.

I was supposed to go to a meeting tonight, but I called and cancelled. There was no way that I could leave the kids less than an hour after telling them the news. So instead, we went and picked up The Dude and went to Burger King for supper, just to get out of the house and distract them for a couple of hours. They ate, they played, and The Dude and I visited a bit with the couple who was sitting next to us.

At one point, one of my kids looked around at how we were all sitting and said "Look - (pointing to the girls) it's the sisters....(pointing to the boys) it's the brothers....(pointing to me and The Dude) and it's the parents!" Wow. The Dude and I just kind of looked at each other and let it go at that point.

Then later, the man who was sitting next to us said something to The Dude and referred to me as his "wife". I about choked and said nothing - The Dude and I have talked about everything and he knows that I have absolutely no intention of ever getting married again. EVER. And before anyone jumps to any conclusions whatsoever, no, we are not talking about it, we are not thinking about it, and like I said, it is not an option in my book. Even if it was an option, it is way too early in the game to even be thinking about it. So there. But after the couple left, we got a good laugh out of it.

We then took The Dude home, and I ran inside with him to get his mp3 player so that I could use it when I run tomorrow, and while we were inside, one of the girls came running in to tell me that Jared had a nosebleed. I went outside to check, and he was standing in the middle of the driveway in a puddle of blood, with blood covering his coat and his hands and his face. We grabbed some tissues to slow it down, got him into the house to get him cleaned up, put his coat in a garbage bag, and finally came home. Needless to say, his coat is now in the washer, so I'll be up for a few more hours to run it through the dryer several times to get it completely dried.

We finally got home and started the whole bath process, and then of course I realized that I still hadn't made Alex's bed. So I did that in a hurry and managed to chase the boys into bed at a reasonable time. It's now 10:00 and the girls are finally going themselves.

Sarah had a major meltdown earlier - just crying her heart out about the loss of our friend. Being the oldest, she has the most memories, but also the most questions. Why did she have to die? Who is going to feed the cats? What if her husband falls and no one is there to call for help? What about the dog that always followed her around the farm - what's she going to do without her? Why didn't I get to say goodbye? Luckily, my kids haven't had to experience much death. They've only been to a few funerals, and they were young enough that they don't remember them. They don't know if they want to go to her funeral or not, and Ex1 and I decided to leave it up to them - if they want to go, we'll make sure that they go - but if they don't want to, we aren't going to force them.

For now, the kids are in bed. I have to clean up some stuff in the kitchen and make sure that the coats that are in the washer get into the dryer so I'll be up for at least a couple more hours...but I am so looking forward to just going to bed and crashing and forgetting about this day for at least a few hours. I'm going to go run tomorrow and brain dump again - I think at this point I need to.


  1. Broke my heart to see the pain you were in when you got the news today... broke it all over again, to see how Sarah's taking it. I managed to get a few laughs out of her, talked to her some about just silly Irrelevant things outside of the burger king (where, incidentally, Amy and I had our first "date").
    The only thing I can do, from my position is to make myself available to Amy and the kids as much as possible.
    Yeah... I got lumped into the parents camp tonight. Interesting, for sure, but beyond that, I think, I got a kick out of it and that's as far as that should go for now... Wifey! Amy got called my wife! LOL, you guys should have seen her face, most priceless, boys and girls, I assure you.

    Oh... and my back hurts...

    Amy, you know that I'm here for you guys, should you need someone to vent to or maybe a suggestion on how to help the kiddo's handle this grief. I got your back, babes!

  2. *hug* and cookies! I am sorry for the loss of such a close friend.

  3. Ancora - thank you. They'll get through it...I just wish that I could take the pain away for them.

    Kerry - "Thank you" seems inadequate right now...I can't even form a coherent thought. Just know that I appreciate everything that you do for us on a daily basis. And just in case I ever forget to tell you, you are amazing.

  4. Im sorry I lost my grandma this morning too my heart goes out to you as well.. draylinn

  5. So sorry for your loss. Prayers coming your way.

  6. so sorry for your loss sweetheart! xoxo
    you and your children are in my thoughts & prayers!!
    you too dude, feel better soon!

  7. Amy, I'm so sorry you lost someone so close and so special. ((((Amy and kids)))). I know how hard that is. She will always live with each of you in a small hole in your hearts. My condolences also go out to her husband...

    Kerry, I hope the docs can get to the bottom of this and solve your pain problems. And fast!





  9. You have have had a day alright!
    Sorry to hear about your friend.
    Hope your day is better today.



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