Random thoughts

Well, I survived the trip to the dentist today. It was nowhere near as traumatic as the visit to the oral surgeon was, but it was still horrible. The Dude went with me, and the hygienist let him come into the room with me and stay for the whole thing. It took a little over an hour to get my teeth clean - I guess that happens when you wait about 10 years in between cleanings - but she was super nice and gentle and she really paid attention to my reaction. Whenever I flinched, she backed off a bit and just kept talking to me the whole time. The good thing was that even after waiting that long to get them done, I don't have any damage to my teeth at all, so no fillings or anything, and I don't have to go back for another 6 months - and yes, I scheduled the appointment.

Funny thing was that The Dude looked at me after it was over and said "hey, you didn't do bad at all this time" and THEN I pulled my hands out of the pocket of my hoodie and showed him the fingernail marks in my palms from having my hands balled up in such tight fists the whole time. I'm pretty sure that he rolled his eyes at me when he saw that. Butthead.

But I did it. And I lived. And I got a free toothbrush.

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This made me happy.

So if you're on facebook, I'm sure that you saw all of the new profile pictures that people used to show their support for marriage equality. I changed my personal one and also changed the cover photo on my page - because just in case you happened to miss it the other day, I fully support marriage equality.

I was amazed at the sheer number of people who changed their profile pictures or showed support in some way. There were people who questioned what good changing a profile picture would do - and I agree that it doesn't do anything to change the laws. No politician is going to change his mind simply because I changed my profile picture. But it did show support to my friends who are denied the opportunity to marry the person that they love.

And honestly, I was stunned (in a good way) that certain people showed their support. Some of my friends who I had always pegged as being against marriage equality changed their pictures or shared some of the memes that were floating around today, and it made me smile.  A lot.

Times are changing. And I like that.

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I am so looking forward to nicer weather. With the kids having a long weekend (again) this weekend, it'll be nice to actually be able to get outside and do something. Not to mention that I really have to buckle down and get ready for this half-marathon that is doing its best to sneak up on me in a little over a month. Crap.

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Easter is on Sunday??? How did THAT happen?

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I really need to redo my nails.

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Tomorrow is my payday. Which means that as soon as I'm done doing this, I need to figure out my menu and the grocery list for the next month, taking into account track meets, Scout meetings, and various other functions that will totally ruin any and all plans that I make. Tomorrow morning will be spent paying bills and then hopefully grocery shopping. So much excitement.

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Read THIS. Share it. Please.

Randomness

I dumped the pictures off of my phone tonight, so that's what you get. Random shots of the past couple of weeks or so.

Trip to the dentist.

Doesn't even bother him a bit.

Do you really need an explanation? 

Chocolate chocolate chip muffins - one of the kids' favorites
for breakfast.

Enjoying some froyo.

Compare their heights - does it really look like there's 3 years
between them?

Sunset tonight.

Waiting patiently for food.

Also waiting patiently.

1. Why I will never buy New Balance sneakers again, and
2. Why I splurged on a new pair of sneakers tonight.

So....we're supposedly getting something like 7-10" of snow tomorrow (according to just about everyone on facebook). I think we might get *some*, but I don't think it's going to be that much. And yes, I am well aware that I'm going to have to eat my words one of these days, but in 15 years in Kansas I don't think that I've seen one single winter storm live up to the hype before it hit. So for me, tomorrow is business as usual, although it will actually involve a trip to the grocery store - not for storm supplies, but because we are out of just about EVERYTHING that is necessary right now. And it's driving me insane.

Of course first, I have to meet a kid at the doctor's office for a potential toenail removal....

And I want to go through the boys' clothes to get rid of a ton of stuff.....

Wednesday night chaos....

Yep. Business as usual.

Too much. Just too much.

If you hang around on my facebook page at all, you might have noticed that I decided to hide for a while yesterday. I feel like I owe you an explanation so that you know that we're all ok. Sort of.

Yesterday afternoon, Ex1 called me. He wanted to warn me that Sarah was probably going to have a bit of a rough evening. I could tell from the tone of his voice that it was bad, but I had no way of knowing just how bad it was until he said it.

Without going into too much detail, a woman who has been a mentor to Sarah was in a horrific accident, and her toddler son was killed. The woman and her infant daughter were both injured, with the baby sustaining more serious injuries.

Sarah, obviously, is devastated along with so many of her friends. As a mother, I am completely heartbroken. I don't know what I would do if something like this were to happen to one of my kids. I honestly don't think that I could handle it. I really don't.

As I was getting off of the phone with Ex1, trying to absorb the information that he had just handed me, my phone immediately rang again. This time it was Alex's father, who was calling to let me know that Alex's great-grandfather had passed away the night before. So he came over last evening to tell Alex.

And of course, it doesn't end there. We had to go pick Jared up from basketball practice after supper, and this lovely sight greeted me when I got in the van. So while The Dude's truck is still broken, I'm praying every time that we get into the van that it is just something stupid triggering that stupid light, but we all know how my luck with vehicles goes....needless to say, we need to get this checked out immediately, or we'll be down to no vehicles between the two of us, and that just won't work.

But I have to say this....and I know that I've said it once or twice before. I am so lucky and so grateful to have The Dude in our lives. He has been dealing with 2 broken teeth (when it rains it pours) and has been absolutely miserable and in horrible pain. He had planned to just stay home and crash last night so that he could get up for work this morning, but instead he came over and just hung out with us to keep us company since we were all having such a rough night. He was in no condition to do much of anything, but just having him here made such a big difference. He is definitely my rock.





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P.S. I intentionally left out the details of the accident, and the specific relationship that Sarah has with this woman for many reasons, not the least of which is because I don't reveal specifics about our location. Please respect that - and if you know more because you're local and/or you know us - please do not divulge those details here.

I guess it's over.

Christmas, that is.

Usually I leave my tree up longer than this, but to be quite honest - it was annoying me. The boys all got remote control cars for Christmas *shoots dirty look toward The Dude* and they have been running them all. day. long. And of course, there's nothing more fun and exciting than to run them into the tree.

The dead tree, no less.

That has a lot of breakable ornaments on it.

And it's dead.

Needless to say, every time anything bumped into the tree, needles started falling everywhere. So it was time. I was going to wait until the kids went to bed to take it down, but once I get an idea in my head I tend to rush right into it (not always a good thing) and so I got to work. It took a few hours, as usual - mainly because I am extremely anal about how the ornaments get put away. But still, I got it done.

And then of course I had the joy of dragging it outside and tossing it to the curb. Literally. It's now sitting out there, waiting to be picked up and turned into mulch by the city. At least I don't have to deal with actually getting rid of it by myself.

Once I got the tree out of the house, I started cleaning up the living room and re-rearranging it to get the furniture back where it belonged. That was another reason why I really just wanted to get the tree out of here - with the "holiday arrangement" of the furniture, we had no choice but to sit on the loveseat to watch movies - and I *hate* the loveseat. OK, maybe not hate - but it's really not comfortable for both me and The Dude to sit on at the same time, because I usually end up stretched out with my feet in his lap while we watch movies. And the loveseat just didn't work for that. So now, we can watch movies comfortably again. It's the little things in life.

So I still have a few more things to put away in the living room, but for the most part it's clean. Or it's clean enough. I do want to mop the floor, but that'll wait until tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. We'll see.

We won't even talk about what the kitchen looks like right now, thankyouverymuch. I'll deal with that tomorrow, without a doubt. I'm not even sure how I'm going to get in there to make breakfast yet - so I might end up cleaning up in there yet tonight. 

In other news, this is never a good sight. 

I knew that The Dude had left for work, because he had sent me a message on facebook telling me he was leaving. And then about 15 minutes later, his boss called here looking for him. He's been having issues with his truck, so I loaded up the kids and took off. We found him about a block from his house, where the truck had died (again). However, we think we figured out what's wrong with it, we were able to get it started and get it back to his house, and I got him to work (although he was late). So tomorrow we work on fixing that - but it looks like it's going to be a really cheap and easy fix *crosses fingers*. The last thing we need right now is more unexpected expenses, since he's now dealing with a broken tooth and is most likely going to be making a trip to the oral surgeon, just like I did. Hopefully his visit goes smoother than mine did though.

Speaking of which, I need to balance the checkbooks and consult with the notebook to make sure that I'm still on track. I am bound and determined to stick with my plan.

Where's the Tooth Fairy?

So here's the story....

Last week, when I went to the dentist, they called the oral surgeon and scheduled the appointment for me. I was standing right there. I heard her schedule it. And confirm it. And she wrote it down on the surgeon's card and handed it to me. She even asked them how much it was going to cost while I was standing there.

So the appointment was for 10:15 this morning. It was about a 30 mile drive, so The Dude and I left here around 9:30 just to be safe. We got there, I panicked a bit, and he got me in the door. I gave the lady my name, and she looked confused. Then she asked for my birthdate. And then for which doctor I was seeing. And then I handed her the appointment card.

I wasn't on the schedule. They didn't have me on their schedule. How does that happen???

She handed me the paperwork anyway, and we sat down and filled it all out and I handed it back to her, but she still said nothing about whether or not they were actually going to see me today. After a short wait, I was called back to the exam room. I grabbed The Dude and made him go with me, because there was no way that I was going alone.

We got back there and she proceeded to tell me that they were going to squeeze me in - unless I wanted to be sedated. If I wanted to be sedated, then they'd have to reschedule me because they just didn't have time. I knew at that moment that I was going to go through complete and utter hell, but I told her to just do it because if I walked out of that office today, I wasn't coming back.

So the dentist/surgeon walked in, introduced himself, and *bam* got to work - after he figured out that he was about to pull the wrong tooth. Yeah, there was a typo somewhere and he asked if he was pulling one on the left and I about freaked and showed him which one it was. Things were not starting off well at all. The initial shots to numb it weren't bad, until he got to the one on the roof of my mouth, where I pretty much lost it and started crying. Cripes, I hate when I do that. But he left to give it time to work, and The Dude stood there and held my hand and talked to me until I calmed down, and then it was time.

The procedure itself was brutal. Absolutely brutal. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to sugarcoat it. He worked extremely quickly - almost too quick for my taste - and I white-knuckled my way through it. He warned me at one point that I was going to hear cracking....yeah, I'm sorry, that wasn't "cracking" - that was the most horrible sound that I've ever heard in my life, and it was coming from MY mouth. The pressure was incredible, the pain was intense (he did ask at one point if it hurt, but didn't even pause to hear my answer), and the sounds were unbelievable.

I'm not sure how long it took. Maybe 30 minutes? By that time I couldn't even think straight. I know he had to put a few stitches in on the side of my gum, but those are supposed to dissolve so I don't have to go back. He gave all of the instructions and the prescription (yes, I accepted a prescription for pain pills this time) to The Dude, and then looked at me and said something to the effect of "maybe you should consider being put under next time". I really wanted to snap back and say "maybe you should have put me on the schedule this time so that could have happened" but I couldn't form the words.

So I paid and we left. And I cried. It hurt so much and I was so upset by the whole scheduling debacle and this did absolutely nothing to help with the fear of dental work.

The Dude drove me home and then went and got my prescription filled and picked up some lunch for us - mashed potatoes for me! And I took a pain pill and we started to watch a movie...but when the couch started spinning I decided that it was time to lay down for a while. I napped while he watched the movie and then went and got the boys from school. He had to go into work for a few hours, so I'm going to make something for the boys to eat and get them into bed and then become one with the loveseat until he comes back from work. I'm still in an  unreal amount of pain, so I plan on drugging myself up really good tonight after he gets back since he can stay with me tonight - maybe if I drug up enough tonight, I can get ahead of the pain.

On the plus side, I'm not *too* swollen (right side) so he
must have done something right.

A little less nakedness.

Our poor Christmas tree has been naked far too long. I bought it almost 2 weeks ago, but we just haven't been able to get our acts together long enough to get it in the house, upright, and decorated.

Actually, that's not true. I got it in the house and fought with it and got it upright last week. And then it crashed.

No, it got pushed. Of course it was an "accident" but regardless I didn't have time to mess with it again and so I just leaned it up against the wall and left it there until I had time again.

Yesterday I started working on getting it back up straight. Things just didn't work out as well as I had hoped (at least partially because of 5 little attitudes) and I ended up sending a rather panicked message to The Dude to come over and help me. So we finally got it back up......but we won't talk about how much fishing line is being used to hold it in position.

"Upright" is all that counts, right? Right.

Anyway, we started decorating it tonight. We got an exceptionally late start on it and rushed through it, but I wanted all of the kids to be able to help. Of course there's always the one who refuses.....*smiles through gritted teeth*....but still.....

I like a lot of lights - and I start by wrapping the
first strand around the trunk.

Not as many lights as I wanted, but it'll do.

Hanging the first ornaments.

Very focused on the job.

I swear....I hate this worse than tangled lights.

Finished for now.....but not complete yet.

I still have to rearrange a lot of the ornaments, add a bunch more, and add the tinsel before it's done. But this is how far we got with it tonight before I sent the thundering herd to bed.

Yes, we have a lot of ornaments. Someone *cough* got this brilliant idea when the kids were babies - and the idea was to get each kid a couple of ornaments every year for Christmas. We use a Sharpie and write their names and the year on each ornament, and then they're wrapped and put in their stockings. It's a fairly inexpensive stocking stuffer, and they get to accumulate ornaments that they can take with them when they move out of the house. Well, some years - the ornaments went on sale before Christmas, and so they were really inexpensive, and *cough* someone *cough* might have gone a little crazy and bought maybe 4-5 ornaments for each kid, without doing the math and realizing that purchasing that many would add up to 20-25 new ornaments each year. *cough*

Yeah....so.....we have a lot of ornaments. And that's why we usually get a 9' tall tree - but we went smaller this year.

Along with the tree, I figured that I'd get the rest of the decorations up too - and that can be a pain when someone is vertically challenged.

Do as I say, not as I do. But take pictures of me while I'm doing it.

This is where the stockings get hung too - once I find them.

That's as far as we've gotten. But it's progress at this point. My tooth is still killing me (especially after I got desperate and ate solid food tonight and got a piece of chicken stuck in it) and I'm down to something like 35 hours before it gets pulled. Yes, the one with the phobia of dentists is counting down the hours until this thing is ripped out of my head - that's how bad it is.

It's been a crazy busy weekend. We had basketball yesterday of course, and Jared's Christmas program was Friday night, and it was super intense and emotional. One of his classmates is dealing with a brain tumor and they had him on Skype during the program, and they sang to him and waved to him and it was beautiful and touching and gut-wrenching and the tears were flowing. But, he got to come home on Saturday and was able to attend a chili feed that was held as a fundraiser for him and his family - so Jared got to see him and talk to him for a few minutes, which was wonderful. Seriously, for all of the whining that I've been doing about my tooth, seeing this little boy putting on his game face and fighting for his life just makes everything else seem so trivial. I got to visit with his mother for a little while, and she was amazing - I can't even being to imagine how I would feel if I were in her position.

Don't take it for granted. That's all I can say.

Follow-up, catch up, and staying up.

First, the follow-up:

You remember when I went for my first mammogram the other day, right? Well, I got this little gem in the mailbox today. I really didn't feel like I had to worry about anything, but getting the confirmation is always nice and crossing anything off of the "things I should potentially be worried about" list is good.

So ladies, if you're over 40 and you haven't gone yet, DO IT. It's easy. It doesn't hurt. Just do it and get it over with so that you can cross it off of your list too. Please.

As for what's been going on for the past few days (since I haven't blogged in what seems like forever)....

I have this phobia of dentists. We've talked about it a little here and there on my facebook page. Anyway, I had my wisdom teeth pulled back in 1993, and I've been to the dentist once since then. If you do the math, that's once in 19 years.

Smart thing to do, right? Wrong.....

Years ago....probably 6ish or so....I broke a tooth. It has a filling in it, and a chunk of the tooth broke off. I went to a dentist to see what could be done with it, and since he wanted something like $600 to do a root canal and a crown, I didn't get it fixed. It didn't hurt, so I just didn't bother with it. Recently, it started to feel uncomfortable, and I realized that there was a crack in the other side of the same tooth. I figured out that I was going to have to do something about it, so I called and made an appointment with the local clinic, and the earliest that they could fit me in for an extraction was January 12.

Then it started to hurt. Like, really really bad. So I called another dentist who was recommended by a friend and he got me in immediately (yesterday) - come to find out that the tooth is abscessed and needs to be pulled. Like, NOW. (I still can't afford a root canal and all of that jazz.) But, I have to go to an oral surgeon to do that because it's an upper tooth and the roots go up into (or too close to) my sinus, and the roots are curved too much for him to do it. So Tuesday morning, I get to go deal with that, and until then I am on antibiotics and miserable - but, I had totally forgotten that I would have to be on antibiotics anyway because of my prosthetic hip. I don't remember the reasoning for that though....

So that's why I haven't been around much for the past few days. Fun, huh?

Poor tree....

And now, because I haven't been able to function, and because I opted to sleep for a couple of extra hours this morning after I took the kids to school, and because I had to go to basketball games this evening for close to 4 hours, I have a ton of things to do. There is so much laundry piled up in my laundry room that I'm almost afraid to walk in there, lunches need to be packed for tomorrow, the Christmas tree needs to be righted after it took a nasty spill last night and is now just propped up in the corner of the living room......so I guess it's a good thing that I got that couple of extra hours of sleep this morning.

Too busy, and not accomplishing anything.

How does that happen? It seems like I've been running around like crazy for the past few days, but I haven't DONE anything. I hate that.

The kids have had Vacation Bible School this week, so there's been some extra running around for that. But I can't complain because they really enjoy it and they have a great time. Sarah and Emily are helpers this year, so they feel super important. :) One night while they were there...was it last night? I can't remember...anyway, I did some walking while they were all at the church, since I haven't really done much of that lately. I have another 5K coming up in a couple of weeks so I really need to start preparing for that.

Alex and Daniel both had dentist appointments on Monday, and both passed with flying colors!

Of course, I dealt with my usual anxiety while we were there - I swear that my fear of the dentist is just not getting any better. Every time the kids have an appointment, I tell myself that I'm going to schedule one for me - and every time I chicken out and don't do it. But one of these days, I'm going to do it....

Maybe next time. Yeah, that's it. Next time. That'll be in 6 months, and it'll take them a good 6 months to work me into the schedule. And maybe I can convince The Dude to go with me and keep me from freaking out while I'm there.

We all went to the library today, trying to get back into the swing of the summer reading programs. We haven't been in there since we got back from vacation so it was nice to do that again. The kids got treated to a puppet show while we were there and had a blast watching the dancing frogs, skeletons, ducks, and various other animals.

We have been dealing with what some people would call horrible weather - personally I like it, although we do need rain desperately. I like the heat, and I love to be outside in it, but I know that I can't take the kids out for long periods of time so we've been staying inside. However, tomorrow, we are going to the lake. We'll take lots of drinks with us, but we're going and we're going to enjoy it - and hopefully the water will be warm enough that I can actually bear to get in it this time!

Brain dump

I finally went out yesterday and did some walking - first time since I got sick a couple of weeks ago. I think I went about 2.5 miles, and I only walked (no running) but it felt good to get back out there, although I was pretty wiped out by the time that I got back.

While I was out there, I thought about a lot of stuff. A few of the things that I mentioned in this post came back to me. I realized that a couple of the things that I mentioned (namely the Diet Pepsi addiction and the getting finances under control) could be interconnected.

I have a weakness for soda - that's no secret. It's actually a die-hard addiction. I live for my Diet Pepsi. Yes, I smoke too - but not much. I can go for days without a cigarette and think nothing of it, but by God if I don't have my Diet Pepsi, heads will roll. In this town, we also have Sonic Drive-Ins - and if you're not familiar with them, they have "happy hour" every day from 2-4pm and their drinks are half-price. I can't drive past a Sonic without stopping and getting my usual Route-44-Diet-Vanilla-Coke-extra-vanilla-extremely-easy-on-the-ice-please (need the extra vanilla to cover up the Diet Coke taste). Anyway, I started thinking about how much money I've been spending lately by stopping to get a drink every time I go out somewhere - and when I started adding it up in my head, I was really pretty pissed at myself. Add to that my tendency to grab fast food any time I don't feel like cooking, and it started to dawn on me that I have been wasting a lot of money.

I made a pact with myself during that walk yesterday. For the next month - at least - no more fast food. No more stops for drinks while I'm out running around. Significantly reduce the amount of soda that I drink, period. Notice, I did not say NO soda - I know that's totally unrealistic. But I want to see if there's a difference in how much money I have left at the end of the month and see how much of a difference it makes.

It's already been a couple of days since I've had any soda - and I can tell the difference. I've been sleeping so much better already, which for me is never a bad thing. I've been sucking down iced tea and coffee, and have even been trying to do it without my usual sweetener - I figure if I'm going to go healthy, I might as well do it right, right?

So, we'll see if I make it the whole month. I seriously thought that I was going to cave today and get something to drink while I was running all over the countryside to get the older 3 kids to get them to the dentist, but I didn't do it - I resisted the urge. But it wasn't easy. The Dude and I went grocery shopping yesterday, and I got enough stuff that I shouldn't have any reason to stop for any fast food, as long as I stick with the meals that I have planned. The kids are going to complain, but they'll get over it - and it'll be good for them too.

I've also been digging up recipes to make some healthier versions of some of the food that I already make - I just have to be discreet so that the five picky little people in the house don't complain too much. I will admit that I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast this morning with whole wheat flour, and they inhaled them - so there might be hope for all of us yet!

I had also had the goal of doing one race per month every month this year, and I haven't even looked into February ones yet. I know that there was one coming up on February 4th or 5th, but I need to find the info on that and see if I can pull it off or not - if not, I need to find another one and get registered. I just have to get to the point that I can run without my lungs exploding again. I've also gotten myself into a challenge with The Dude and another friend with the 5K on New Years, but I'm going to hold off on releasing the details on that until we nail them down a little bit more. ;)

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In other news, the older 3 kids had dentist appointments today. I'm proud to say that all 3 of them had perfect checkups, and handled the appointments much better than I did.

The Dude picked Alex and Daniel up from school for me while I was at the dentist with the other kids...and given the gorgeous weather we had again today, they weren't home when we got home.

So for now, I'm tired of arguing with my computer, so I think I'm going to shut it down for the night and try to get some sleep - trashed kitchen and all. I'll deal with the mess in the morning.

Another trip to the dentist

Alex and Daniel had dentist appointments this morning.

Getting the kids to the dentist is always a challenge for me. Not that it's hard to get them there, since it's only about 7 or 8 blocks from my house - I mean really, I got out of the shower at 8:15 and still had them there by 8:30 - but because I *hate* the dentist. Not this particular dentist - he's great. I just hate dentists. Period.

I swear, if I could get a prescription for valium before I had to take the kids in there, it would be much better - for everyone involved. I haven't been to the dentist personally in about 10 years - and I'm ok with that, even with my molar that's been broken for that long. I know I should go, but I just can't do it. Little pieces of that tooth keep breaking off, but I'm ok with it. I'd rather have a huge hole in my mouth and deal with excruciating pain than take myself to the dentist and have it fixed.

I know, I know - I need to get over it. I need to go. I know I need to go. I just haven't worked up the nerve to do it yet. I actually talked to the receptionist a couple of years ago, and it would take a minimum of 6 months to schedule an appointment to get me in - and of course I'd have to have the cash in hand to go since I don't have insurance - so yeah, I'll schedule the appointment as soon as I win the lottery and get a prescription for really good happy drugs.

But, I take the kids every time that they have an appointment. And I have to sit on the floor of the exam room while the dentist is doing his thing. The kids love to go there, and they do great. I, on the other hand, would be curled up in the fetal position on the floor if there was enough room to do it. Instead, today I distracted myself by messaging back and forth with The Dude the whole time that we were there. I'm sure that it irritated the dentist, but I think that it was better than me sitting there, hyperventilating and drooling on myself.

The boys did great. Two perfect checkups.

So now we're good to go...for about another 3 weeks, when I have to take the older 3 kids in - all of them, at the same time. So that I can sit on the floor and freak out through 3 appointments.

Please pass the drugs.