Get a grip, people.

It's  getting to be that time of the year again.

Fall is coming and people are anticipating cooler weather, and for whatever reason it seems that people just have to equate that with one thing.

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin everything.

Pumpkin all the things.

Personally, I despise the stuff. I think that the taste and texture of pumpkin is nasty, and yes, I've tried to eat it numerous times, and no, I don't give a crap how YOU make it - I don't like it.

Pumpkins are good for 3 things: jack-o-lanterns, roasting the seeds after making said jack-o-lanterns, and then smashing the aforementioned pumpkin after Halloween is over. That's it. Nothing else.

But yet, there are people who worship the almighty pumpkin. As soon as there is a hint of fall weather (or even before), their eyes glaze over, drool runs down their chins, and all they can think about is adding pumpkin to everything edible and/or drinkable.

They act as though they can only get their beloved squash for a limited time each year - which for the most part is true - if they're going to wait for one to ripen on a vine in their garden. However, with the dozens of people I know who are afflicted with pumpkinitis every year, not a single one of them stands in their garden, guarding the plant, watering it, weeding it, talking to it, waiting patiently for it to ripen so that it can be harvested and cut open and gutted for its (supposedly) delicious flesh. Instead, they do what most people do.

They go to the store and they buy a can of it.

See that? I bought that can of pumpkin last year specifically to make a point. It's been sitting on the shelf in my pantry for close to a year so that on the off chance I decided that I wanted a pumpkin pie in June, I could make it.

Want a pumpkin roll in February? Well, by golly, whip that can of pumpkin off of the shelf and make it!

You want pumpkin cupcakes in May? Crack that can open.

Got a hankerin' for some pumpkin pancakes for a delicious brunch in December? Guess what? YOU CAN MAKE THEM ANY TIME YOU WANT THEM.

You don't know how to cook/bake, or you don't want to? I bet you can find another pumpkinitis victim who would gladly do it.

Oh, but then there are the people who think that their coffee needs to be laced with the crap too. Pumpkin spiced lattes and cappucinos and whatever - well guess what? Some of them DON'T EVEN CONTAIN PUMPKIN!!! They contain "pumpkin spice" which is usually a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, and allspice (all of which are available at any grocery store *GASP* year round). If you don't want to make your own "pumpkin spice" mixture - you can buy it already made and sprinkle it in your drinks until your little heart is content.

Now from what I understand, some of these places that sell these grossly overpriced fluffy coffee drinks are now adding 'real' pumpkin to them - but a quick google search brought up about eleventy bajillion recipes for drinks with pumpkin in them - so if I had the desire to ruin a perfectly good drink, I could do it myself for a lot less money. And you can too!

Of course it doesn't stop there. Corporations feed into the pumpkinitis epidemic by adding the crap (or some imitation of it) to everything that is prepackaged whether we want it or not - Oreos and M&Ms and peeps and salsa and candles and soap and pudding and bagels and marshmallows and air freshener and cookies and soda and toothpaste and ice cream and it just. keeps. going. on.

I even found an image for pumpkin spice flavored condoms - which I found are NOT a real product. But I wouldn't be surprised to see them on the shelf at the local drugstore any time now because people will somehow feel that they just can't live without them.

How long until we have pumpkin scented toilet paper?

Seriously people. You can buy pumpkin year round. If you love the food that much, make it whenever you want to make it. SEIZE THE FREAKING DAY and make a pumpkin pie in March if it will make you happy. If you love the candles so much and they're not available at your favorite candle store year round, then stock up on them in October when they are on the shelves. Burn them whenever you want to BECAUSE YOU CAN. All of this prepackaged food has the shelf life of Twinkies anyway, so if you love the Oreos that much, buy a case of them and stash them in the cupboard to enjoy year round.

Stop acting like you can only get the crap for 2.5 seconds out of the year.

Oh look - I still have over
15 months to use it.

What's really important?

Disclaimer: I've had a couple of glasses of wine. Forgive me if I turn the filter off for this one.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lately, I've witnessed a lot of people bitching about a lot of really stupid stuff. 

Seriously.

~ I've gained too much weight.

~ Someone cut me off on the way to work this morning.

~ My girlfriend broke up with me.

~ OMG look at what she's wearing.

~ He's a deadbeat.

~ I overslept and I didn't get to go to the gym.

~ I really want to buy this new bike, but I can't afford it right now.

And on and on and on it goes. I'm guilty of it just as much as the next person. I spent the day outside playing in the dirt and mud just trying to wrap my head around some recent events that hit entirely too close to home.

Our society has become one of total instant gratification, entitlement, and pettiness. 

We focus on the little stuff, and allow it to rule our lives. 

We judge. We criticize. We tease and bully and bitch and moan and whine and complain.

You know what we don't do? 

We don't pay attention. We don't focus. We don't listen.

We are so busy judging others that we forget to really see what is important. We are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that sometimes other people have problems that are bigger than our own. We forget that there is a whole world out there full of people who are struggling.

Hell, there are even people out there who are smarter than we are and who can actually help us - if we'd just stop focusing on ourselves and ask.

If there's anything that I've learned in my life, it's that someone always has it worse than I do. And no matter how awful I feel at the moment, I can always reach out and help someone - even if it's just a simple "hey man, I'm thinking of you" because I don't have anything else to offer. 

Why are we so self-centered? How did this happen? Why is it that in this day and age, we forget about everyone else out there and focus just on ourselves? When did we decide that it was ok to just forget about everyone else in the world?

Helping others has never been easier than it is right now. We can text someone with encouraging words and they'll get the message within seconds no matter where they are. We can send an email. We can make a phone call. 

We can go to the store and buy a greeting card and send it through the mail so that someone can get something cheerful instead of yet another bill in the mailbox. We can visit. And if we think that things might be getting really rough but we can't get there ourselves, we can get someone else to knock on the door and make sure that everything is ok.

So why in the hell are we not doing anything? Why are we allowing people who need help to go without? Why do we turn a blind eye to someone who needs help, and then act shocked when that person does something as horrible as taking others' lives along with his own?

We need to wake up. We need to focus. We need to reach out. 

We need each other.

We need each other now, more than we ever have.

On Sweatpants and Divorce

Sometimes, I really wish that those stupid "trending topics" on Facebook wouldn't catch my eye - but unfortunately they always do. Occasionally, there will actually be something interesting or informative or even amusing there, but most of the time I'm amazed at what people consider important enough to share so often that it starts to trend.

I'm not a reality show fan. I don't follow the lives of many celebrities. I'm not a very political person (much to The Dude's dismay). Gossip doesn't really impress me. You get the idea.

But today...... today, this one just won't go away.

The first time I saw it, I thought "what the......?" and ignored it. But it stayed there, taunting me.

So, I in my sweatpants-wearing glory, clicked on it and read the article. Honestly, I have no clue who Eva Mendes is, although I gathered from the article that she is the girlfriend of Ryan Gosling (and I do know who he is) and she has a baby who is apparently still rather young.

I read the article several times, and honestly, I can't tell if she was joking by what she said. “You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!”

I hope she was joking. I really do. And I really hope that she clarifies that she was joking.

I've been through two divorces, and I can guarantee you that my love for sweatpants had nothing to do with either one. Out of my friends and family members who have gone through divorces, none of them mentioned sweatpants as a cause.

Domestic violence is a cause of divorce. Infidelity. Financial stress. Not prioritizing what needs to be prioritized. Lack of communication.Addiction. You know, important stuff.

But a woman choosing to wear sweatpants as the sole reason for a divorce? Seriously?

Maybe she wears them because they're *gasp* comfortable. Or maybe because it's laundry day and they're the only thing clean. Maybe her jeans are a little tight because she's put on a few pounds (as most humans do at some point in their lives) or hasn't quite lost all of the baby weight yet. Maybe she doesn't have a ton of spare time to do laundry and is saving her cute jeans for when she plans to leave the house to run errands tomorrow. Maybe she just wants to wear sweats because they're comfortable and she doesn't have to worry about whether or not they get dirty when she's working around the house.

And maybe she's doesn't give a rat's ass about what other people think about what she wears.

I thought I could let it go....

....but I can't.

To put it mildly, I'm pissed. I mean it. Absolutely livid.

A couple of months ago, I went off on a little tirade about the Boy Scouts' ban on gay members. I got it out of my system, and life was good. I made the decision at that point to keep Alex in Scouts until after the vote on whether or not to lift the ban happened. Anyway, it was delayed, and from what I understand from our meeting tonight it will be held on Wednesday.

We didn't have a regular Scout meeting tonight. Instead, we had our committee meeting - the grown ups sit around and talk about boring stuff like finances and planning outings and stuff like that. The subject of the vote was brought up, as apparently there had been some question as to whether the church who charters our pack and troop would continue to charter it if the ban was to be lifted. We were informed that regardless of the vote, the church would continue to charter the Scouts. I was happy to hear this.

Now, at this committee meeting there were 5 or 6 other adults, plus me. Our leader was trying to plan things out for the next few months, and was informed by several of the other adults that they would be leaving the organization if the ban were to be lifted - which left the leader in a bit of a bind, because he can't plan any outings for the boys until he knows if he has any adults left or not.

Seriously?

(For the record, as if you didn't guess already, I informed the leader right then and there that if the ban is lifted, he can count on me to be more involved than ever before.)

OK. I understand that the Scouts is a Christian-based organization. I understand that it is a private organization and can make its own rules. I understand that when people joined, they knew about those rules (except for me, the clueless one) and they were ok with them.

Now the rules might be changing. So they want to leave. Keep in mind that BSA is not looking to change the rules for adult leaders - only for the kids.

So these adults, who are supposed to be role models for these young boys, are going to bolt straight out of the organization because they might have to be in the same room with a kid who is gay??? Really?

News flash: There are gay people everywhere. They're in the grocery stores and the libraries and the public pools and in schools and hospitals and banks and post offices and shopping malls and *gasp* maybe even working IN THE SAME OFFICE WITH YOU!!!! If they haven't turned you gay yet, what makes you think that they're out to do that to your kid too? If you are so worried about your kid being exposed to someone who is gay, then you'd better not ever allow that child out of your house. Really.

Look at these two images. Read them. These are pictures that I just took of Alex's Cub Scout Tiger Cub Handbook.

Where exactly does it say that the purpose of Cub Scouting is to shun someone who does something that you don't like? Where does it say that someone who is different than you doesn't belong in Scouts? Where does it say that a boy who is gay is not worthy of being a Scout?

It doesn't.

Character Development. Is there a better way to develop your child's character than to show him that it's ok if someone does something that you don't necessarily like? What is so wrong with teaching your son that it's ok to agree to disagree? Doesn't that build character?

Respectful relationships. A relationship doesn't only have to be between a man and a woman. It can be the relationship between a group of kids. There is a group of kids that I see playing together after school on a regular basis - just judging by appearances, there are girls, boys, blacks, whites, Hispanics, and even a little Muslim girl who all play together - and they are great friends. They are all so amazingly different from each other, but they respect each other's differences and have a great relationship with each other.

Values? They want to preach about values? Look at that list: Compassion. Courage. Honesty. Respect.

RESPECT.

Right there, in black and white. The eleventh Core Value in Cub Scouting.

Respect.

How in the hell can we teach our kids respect if we don't show that same respect to ALL other people?

Respect for kids shouldn't be selective. They're KIDS. Show them respect. Show adults respect (unless they give you a damned good reason not to do so).

Seriously people. Get over it. Yes, you have a right to your beliefs, just as I have a right to mine. You're not right and I'm not either. But as adults, we have the responsibility to be positive role models for all kids today. Do you want to teach them that it's ok to be close-minded and exclusionary, or do you want to teach them that it's ok to accept someone who is different from you? You can accept the person without accepting their beliefs.

Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum.

St. Augustine originally said that around the year 424, give or take. 

Know what that means?

Love the sinner, but hate the sin.

You don't have to agree with everything that everyone does. But learn to respect the fact that everyone is different.

Your rules say WHAT????

Anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time should know that I generally do not touch the "hot button" topics. I stay away from religion and politics and controversy unless it is something that really really grabs me personally.

I have debated writing this for several days because it's one of those topics. But I can't get it out of my head. I know that I'm going to anger and offend some people with my opinions, but that is what they are: my opinions. I am not writing this in order to stir up controversy or drama or fighting or anything else - I'm writing it because I need to get it out of my head.

All that I ask from you is that if you want to comment, please be respectful. Everyone has opinions. Everyone's opinion is right - to them. Just because you may not agree does not give you the right to be disrespectful to anyone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Which brings me to the subject matter at hand.....

I don't remember when the subject came up for me, but I believe it was last summer sometime. The opportunity to enroll Alex in Boy Scouts presented itself. I didn't think much about it - I mean, come on, it's Scouts. Teaching boys how to camp and be respectful and all sorts of good stuff. What could be bad about that, right?

I admit that I was pretty oblivious about some things - and now, I so wish that I had done some research.

But I didn't. I went by my own preconceived notions and beliefs and we got started in Scouts.

He has had a blast. I have had a blast. He's in with a great group of kids and adults. He's already gotten to do a lot of really fun stuff and he's learning. All in all it's been a very positive experience for him.

However, the controversy surrounding Scouts has me more than a little concerned. And upset.

In case you haven't heard, the BSA is talking about lifting its ban on homosexual members - boys and adults.

Wait, what..........?

Lifting a ban on homosexuals? Are you serious?!?!?! You can't be serious.....

Are you telling me that I enrolled my son into an organization that BANNED homosexuals?

I. am. mortified.

And I am angry.

For whatever reason, I didn't know that Scouts had this ban. I seriously didn't know. I should have known, but I didn't. Had I known, Alex wouldn't be in Scouts in the first place. I assumed that since it was 2012, discrimination against any group of people wouldn't be an issue. I just went back and read through the paperwork that I signed when he joined - nothing in the paperwork says "you must be straight". It says something about following the "Declaration of Religious Principles" which I didn't even know existed until tonight.

And without quoting and getting all sorts of technical about it, basically the Declaration says "Hey, we're a religious organization, but we don't dictate what religion you follow. If you don't belong to a church, we assume that your parents are teaching you about whatever religion you choose to follow. If you do belong to a church, we assume that you follow the rules of that church."

OK, so the Bible says homosexuality is a sin. So theoretically....if you're following any sort of Christian religion, you shouldn't be gay. I get that.

But the last time I checked, Christians weren't supposed to judge each other, either. 

I go to church almost every week. I was raised Methodist, and that's the kind of church that we go to simply because that's where I'm comfortable. I don't claim to be a Christian, because even at 42 years old I'm still not sure what to believe. I do believe that there is something way bigger than I am out there but whether it's "God" or "something else" - I haven't figured that part out yet. Regardless, I don't have a problem with religion in general.

(For the record - the older three kids also attend a Baptist church with their father, and Alex occasionally goes to his stepmother's church, but I'm not sure what denomination that is. If I felt that my religious views superseded all others, my kids would not be attending other churches.)

I do not believe that ANY religious views should overrule others. None.

What I do believe is that no person - regardless of religious affiliation - has the right to judge another person.

No one has the right to discriminate against another person.

My children will NOT be taught that it is ok to judge or discriminate against anyone for any reason. My children have always been and will always be taught love, acceptance, and tolerance. They will be taught that it is ok to stand up for what they believe in and that it's ok to stand up for others who are being discriminated against for any reason.

I do not want to pull Alex out of Scouts. I really don't. I think that the experience is a good one for him. But if this ban is not lifted at both the national and local levels, I don't feel that I have a choice. I can't teach my children that judging others is wrong if we are participating in an organization that does exactly that.

How can BSA teach these young boys about honor and respect for others when they aren't modelling the same behavior as an organization?

Found on Google Images

I don't care.

I'm tired of the fighting and the bickering and the finger pointing and the blaming. At this point, what's done is done. You can whine and moan and cry about it, but it's not going to change what happened. Pull up your big-kid panties and figure out what to do next - and that goes for people who are happy AND upset about last night's outcome. Regardless of who did or did not get elected last night, our country still has the same problems this morning that we did 24 hours ago. It is what it is, people. Let's move on and see what we can do to fix things instead of just sitting around blaming the other guy for everything that is wrong in the world today.

I posted this on my personal facebook profile last night. I've paraphrased and added a few things to it since then, but this is the same basic idea, and this is how I feel about people in general.

You know what? If you're reading this, then I consider you to be my friend. Plain and simple. I didn't care what your political views were a year ago, and I don't care what they are today. I don't care if you're a Democrat or a Republican or a Libertarian or if you're totally non-political. I don't care if you're a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or if you're an agnostic, an atheist, a witch, or if you worship the flying spaghetti monster. I don't care if you're pro-life or pro-choice. I don't care if you want fluoride in your water or not. I don't care who you want to have sex with or who you want to marry. I don't care if you're living in the lap of luxury or if you're living paycheck to paycheck or if times are so tough for you right now that you have to get food stamps in order to feed your family.

When I get asked "how will you explain *insert whatever controversial topic that people don't agree on* to your kids?" my response is simple: "I will explain it to them the same way that I explain all differences. Some people have black hair and some have blonde. Some are fat and some are thin. Some choose to pierce their ears and some choose not to. In the end, everyone is different, many people have different beliefs, and many people make different choices, but we're all human beings - and respecting those differences is the first step to being a good human being." 

Your opinions are just that - YOUR opinions. My opinions are MINE. All I need to know is that you're a good person and that you treat others with respect - and if that's the case, everything else will work out in the end. Arguing is such a waste of time and energy. Agree to disagree and move on with your lives and focus that energy on something positive.

Seriously people, let's get over it. I understand that not everyone is happy with the results. To be completely honest with you, I'm not thrilled with the results. But that's my opinion, and I'll stick with it until the end, and I won't defend my opinion to anyone - because in doing that, it means that my opinion is more "right" than someone else's - and no one is right or wrong in his/her beliefs.

The first step to fixing what's wrong in this country is to stop fighting. Fighting doesn't fix anything. Stop fighting, work together, and maybe we can actually get something accomplished - and not lose any friends in the process.

As if feral socks weren't bad enough...

....I'm now finding animals in the laundry.

Yep, you read that right. Not only do I have feral socks, but I also now have random animals showing up in the laundry.

I have spent literally the entire day doing laundry. It's mostly been sheets and bedding, but I've managed to get a few loads of clothes going too. For once, the girls had the majority of their dirty stuff in their basket, so I grabbed it a bit ago and took it into the laundry room and started chucking dirty stuff into the washer.

Now, I don't look at the dirty laundry. Truth be told, I don't want to look at it. I throw enough into the washer to fill it up, I toss in the detergent, and I turn it on and go - I don't check their pockets, I don't turn stuff right side out, nothing - they are old enough to do that themselves. If something is shoved into a pocket and gets washed because they didn't take it out - not my problem. If their laundry doesn't get clean because it's all bunched up and inside out - not my problem.

Yes, I know, I should make them do it themselves. Don't even go there. I have my reasons, ok?

Anyway, when the washer was done running, I went in to toss the stuff into the dryer. I got partway through the load of wet stuff, and when I reached back into the washer...I felt....something.

Something fuzzy. And wet.

And when I looked into the washer to see what it was, I saw eyes.

The practical part of me knew that it wasn't something that could be alive (anymore) but it still made me jump just a little bit - yes, I just admitted that.

I mean, come on, how often do you look into your washer and see eyes looking back at you?

After the split second of initial whatthewhat? I realized what it was and peeled myself back off of the ceiling.

Stupid freakin' stuffed animal.

*sigh*

Oh well. He's clean. And for scaring the crap out of me, he's now taking a nice hot dizzying ride in the dryer, where he will hopefully be smothered by underwear and feral socks. And just to get even, I think he will be posed somewhere in the girls' room so that they are greeted by his little beady eyes when they walk in there the next time.

Probably won't scare them, but it's kind of fun to think about it. At least it is for me.

Why do I do this?

I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've been asked why I blog, not to mention the number of times that I've asked myself the very same question.

It started out as something fun - a distraction, of sorts. And then it started to grow. I admit that in general, I don't write about anything profound or deep. Like the picture of my boots up there says, it's random ramblings. It's therapeutic for me. Having little "real" contact with other adults, it gives me a place to talk, whether or not anyone is listening.

With the exception of a few rants here and there about my exlaws or the trials of being a single parent, for the most part it's just fluff. This is where we went today and this is what we did and oh, look at what I fished out of the sink last night - that kind of stuff.

But now, suddenly, I have almost 900 people following what I write. Seriously? 900? That's between fans on the facebook page, twitter followers, GFC followers on the blog itself, and feedburner subscribers. I know some of those are duplicates so the number isn't really that high, but still....

It boggles my mind.

I've always made it a point to stay away from too much deep stuff. If I wanted to, I could go really deep at times. But I've avoided it for so many reasons. I don't like to create drama, believe it or not. I haven't wanted to open myself up for criticism. The past few years have been hard on me, and for the longest time I was so incredibly fragile that one wrong word, or even a dirty look, caused me to crumble.

I leaned on my friends a great deal during this time, and it strained some of our friendships - I know that. So why would I want to dump all of my crap on a bunch of people who don't even know me? That's the mindset that I've been in ever since I started this blog, except for the few occasions where I blew a gasket and went off on a good ol' Amy-esque rant.

But, I've become stronger. I've been through hell, and I'm still standing - stronger than I have ever stood before. My life is far from perfect, but right now it's going pretty darned good! The Dude has made me realize that there are still good guys out there, and that at least one of them isn't afraid of my life and everything that comes along with it. Yes, it's still early in the game, and he may still come to his senses and bail out at some point - I hope and pray that he doesn't - but if he does, I know that I'll survive it.

I figure that if I am finally to the point that I can put myself "out there" in the dating world, I can maybe start doing the same thing on this blog. I'm not saying that I'm suddenly going to start writing a "deep" post every day, or even every week - but don't be surprised if I start doing it a little more often.

It might blow up in my face and create drama. Or it might go unnoticed. Or, it might help someone else who is going or has gone through the same kind of crap.

If nothing else, it will continue to keep me amused for a period of time every day.

Feral Socks

It never fails. Every time I do laundry, I end up with stray socks. So at some point, I got the brilliant idea to turn an old laundry detergent container into the "Runaway Sock Bucket". Every time there's a stray, it goes in the bucket. And when it starts to overflow and irritate the crap out of me, I dump it and attempt to match all of the strays.

Today, after it overflowed on me YET AGAIN, I decided to go through it and get them all matched. And I was reminded once again about how much I loathe socks. More specifically, I loathe socks in the laundry. It doesn't matter how careful I am - there are always strays. And I am convinced that the stray socks become feral and reproduce, turning into these strange varieties of socks that I have never seen before, like the small white ankle sock with a blue sole - I know for a fact that no one in this house has ever owned a pair of socks like that, so where did it come from?

But, I got the ones that had matches matched back up into pairs...threw away the feral ones that have been residing in the bottom of the bucket for the last few times that I have gone through this process, and ended up with only a small pile that are still strays. Hopefully as I continue to do laundry every day for the rest of my life over the next few days, I can get them matched up too.

Seriously - if someone were to invent disposable socks that didn't cost a fortune, I would SO be in the market for them. Buy them, wear them once, throw them away. End of my feral sock issue. And if they were one-size-fits-all and I could buy them by the case, I would be thrilled beyond belief.

Someone get on that, please.