It's been a little while.....

So yeah. It's been a while since I've blogged anything. I've been wanting to, trust me. But I just haven't had the time or the energy.

Here's a nutshell for you:

Things are still progressing with the house. Like......all we're waiting for at this point is a date to close. The file went from the underwriters to the Rural Development people a couple of days ago, and RD is taking an average of 10 days to do their thing right now. Once they do their thing, all that's left is the closing. So I have reason to believe that I'll be a homeowner within the next few weeks.

Then there's the job. I've talked about the stress before, and it's really only gotten worse. Although CrankyPants hasn't been as cranky lately, she still has her moments. Not to mention that the job in general just sucks. I'm still not a morning person, and add to that being on my feet for 8+ hours straight without a break, and I'm miserable. I come out of there hurting so much by the end of the day that I can barely walk, and I can't get anything done around the house because I hurt so much.

Then of course there was the whole issue with my van finally self-destructing. It's still sitting in my backyard, dead - and it needs to go away. But I need to find the time to get it cleaned out and list it for sale. Or scrap it. Or something. Add that to the list of things to do.

I borrowed a friend's itty bitty car for a couple of weeks until I could buy my GrandpaCar - literally, it belonged to a friend's grandfather. It's not the most ideal vehicle for us, but I was limited because I can't just go out and finance something while I'm waiting to get the approval for the house. But, it works and it gets us where we need to go. It has a few quirks and needs a little bit of work done to it, but that'll hopefully be taken care of in the next few weeks sometime.

Add all of that to the normal stress of our everyday life, running kids to and from everywhere they need to go, trying to spend as much time as possible with The Dude, dealing with random health issues, handling landlord/maintenance issues in my current house, and trying to maintain some semblance of sanity - and you can imagine how hectic it's been.

Seriously though....the biggest worry on my mind right now is my job. I keep making lists of pros and cons in my head, and I can't really come up with anything good about it except for my coworkers - and I don't have to have the job to keep in touch with them. The hours make it extremely difficult for me to do much of anything for myself - and I find myself getting less and less sleep just to try to get the basics done. The job is making it harder for me to take care of myself - and if I don't do that, I'm just not going to make it. I know that right now, I've about pushed myself to the limit, both physically and mentally. I just don't think that I can do it anymore. Being in the fortunate position of not needing the job to survive makes it harder for me to go in every day - because why would anyone put themselves through this if it wasn't needed?

So at this point, I know that I'm going to quit - I just don't know when. I want it to be sooner rather than later, but I also have to make sure that the drop in my income won't affect my chances of getting the final loan approval. I qualify for the house even without the job income - but I don't want to risk it. I sent an email to Mortgage Lady asking her opinion on it, and I'm waiting to hear back from her before I do anything.

That's where I am. One big stressed out and anxiety-ridden mess.

But it could be worse. It could always be worse.

Crazy busy thankful

Life is crazy.

And by that I mean absolutely positively unimaginably insane to the nth degree. And then some.

Popcorn sales for Scouts. As treasurer,
I've had my hands full.

Daniel and I helped unload a tractor trailer full of Christmas
trees. We'll be spending every spare moment at the Scout
tree lot until the last tree is sold.

Sarah celebrated her 14th birthday - and had
basketball games on the same day. The 3 oldest
are all playing now - so life revolves around
basketball AND Scouts.

The Dude and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary.
Still trying to wrap my head around that one.

I sat down during my break this morning at work and paid bills - and officially paid off the last of my debt. All of my old debts from my previous lives, all of our medical bills, all of my credit card bills, the van - those payments are all gone. GONE.

I am literally debt-free..... until.....

The biggest thing of all right now.... is the house situation. I haven't really said a whole lot about it since I posted those pictures - but I'll fill you in now.

I officially made an offer on it last week. The seller countered, I countered his counter, he countered my counter of his counter....and it went on for several days like that. He was being obstinate and pretty much refused to budge on anything. We finally reached an agreement and I did all of the loan paperwork on Monday. The inspection is scheduled for December 9, so as long as everything goes well and there isn't anything major wrong with it, I'll close on January 25.

Here's the catch. The seller - is stubborn. He doesn't want to do anything to the house. He doesn't want to allow room in the price for repairs. He just wants to get rid of it. So, if there's something wrong with it, we'll either have to fix it ourselves or give up on the house. I am trying desperately not to get my hopes up because I know that it'll just take one big bad thing on the inspection to lose this. I have the day of the inspection off from work, and I plan to follow the inspector around so that I can see first-hand what needs to be done - and then I can make a decision as to whether or not it's something that we're willing to do.

Needless to say, I'm an anxious nervous wreck right now. And I couldn't be happier about it.

Could this be THE ONE?

House hunting isn't for sissies.

Look at the natural light, and not the carpet.

The Dude and I have now looked at about 15-20 houses over the past 6 months or more. Some of them - we really liked. And some of them - not so much.

But we saw this one last week. And then we saw it again today. And we're in love.

It was built in 1967. At the time, it was *the* house in the town. It was *the* location for dinner parties and open houses. People actually paid money to walk through the house during the holidays to look at the decorations. The owners were very active in the community and were very well-loved and respected.

It will be worth getting a landline just to see if it works.

Time took its toll. He passed away in 2004. She passed away earlier this year. Judging from the appearance of the house, although it was well-maintained, it was never updated. Almost everything is original.

Counting rooms in the basement that can't be advertised as such, there are 6 bedrooms. Six. One for everyone.

There are 3 bathrooms. Three. As in, 3 toilets - so 3 people can use the bathroom at one time. That in and of itself is a major selling point.

I think the Bradys might live next door.

There are 2 fireplaces. There is a 2 car garage. There are 2 kitchens. There is a huge yard. There are a ton of closets and cubbies and places to store things.

It's hideous.

And we love it.

We love the gaudiness of it. We love the crazy wallpaper and the funky light fixtures and the unusual room dividers. We love the location and the yard and the amount of work that it's going to take.

The fixtures. Look at the fixtures.

We know that it won't be an easy job - but we also know what we want to see in this house, and we both feel that we can do it.

So....while nothing is official yet, we have let our realtor know that this is the house for us. She is going to get the ball rolling to see if we can get into it.

The price is right. The payments would be well within the affordable range.

All of the kids would finally be in the same school district.

All of the kids could finally have their own bedrooms.

I could finally own a home and stop paying rent.

For some reason, I love this gaudy wallpaper.

There are so many positives right now. But of course there are always negatives. There are inspections and other hurdles to jump before we can say that we're officially planning to buy it. At this point, it could all still very easily fall through and we could not get this house.

But, at the same time, things could very well fall into place.

Only time will tell.

Natural light. Built-in shelves. And that light.
What's not to love?

Love. Just...... love.

One of the fireplaces. And built-ins. And The Dude.

Second full kitchen - in the basement.

The basement definitely needs TLC.

Seriously. That's only part of the yard.

*** Just a reminder - if you know me (or even if you don't) and you know where this house is, please don't say it. We all know it's in Kansas, but just leave it at that, ok? Thanks!

I never thought it would happen. Never.

You know, it's kind of funny. When I was kid, I loved to draw. Whenever I drew a house, it always looked the same - kind of like this...

I never claimed to be an artist.

Anyway, as The Dude and I have been out shopping for houses, we found one that we both like. A lot. And the funny thing is that it really kind of looks like the house that I always drew as a kid. Except it's straighter. And prettier. And has a front porch. And a hot tub. But I digress.....

We were shopping for houses with the knowledge that my credit wasn't quite where it needed to be yet. I've been working on it, but as anyone who has shoddy credit knows, it's a process. I have been working with an agency that has been busting their butts to get negative stuff removed for the past few months. We thought that I was where I needed to be a couple of months ago when my scores suddenly tanked. I was heartbroken. As it turned out, an old debt (to the tune of $3000+) that has been in collections for years - and that I have been faithfully making payments on for years - was sold to a new collection agency, who in turn started reporting it as new debt. It killed my credit.

Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago when I got a letter in the mail. It was from one of the credit reporting agencies. Nervously, I opened it. 

According to the letter, that particular negative piece of information was deleted from my credit report. Deleted. Thinking back to how much of a negative impact it had when it appeared, I wondered what kind of a positive impact it would have when it disappeared.

As the battle against this particular creditor was happening, I paid off my credit cards. I also paid off a couple of smaller debts with the agreement that those creditors would remove the negative information from my report. I also got the raise at work, and the Social Security that Daniel and I receive increased at the same time.

So on Friday, I was able to check my new and improved credit scores through an online deal that was set up by the credit-report-cleaner-upper-people (my official name for them). I already know that the numbers that I see are slightly higher than the official numbers, so when I saw on Friday that they were high enough, I anxiously contacted Mortgage Lady (also her official name). She was excited to hear the news, and we agreed to meet this morning.

Fast forward to about 2am today, when Daniel's official name changed to Sir Pukesalot. He kept that up for the rest of the night, but seemed to level out a bit. The Dude had planned to go and meet with Mortgage Lady with me, but because Daniel was so sick I emailed her and asked her to just pull my credit report without me and to call me, rather than run the risk of Daniel hurling in her office. The Dude came over and we waited by the phone. Finally she called.

It's official. My credit score is now high enough to qualify for a mortgage.

I started shaking and pacing around the house while I talked to her. I'm not officially pre-qualified for anything yet because there is still one account on my credit report that is showing as "in dispute" - so I have to contact all 3 agencies and tell them to remove that because nothing can happen while there is an active dispute. Minor detail, really. But qualifying for "our" house will not be an issue - and we can actually look at houses in a higher price range than I would have even thought possible.

I contacted the realtor who has been helping us, and "our" house is still on the market.

I am completely and totally overwhelmed right now. Just over 3 years ago, I was on the verge of being homeless. People were sending me money to try to help me save my old house, but it wasn't enough and it went into foreclosure and we were forced to move. We moved into this house only because I qualified for assistance at the time - but I had no idea how I was going to pay the rent when that assistance ended, which was only 3 months. Then my ex passed away and the Social Security started and through the emotional turmoil that followed, the bills started getting paid regularly. It was a horrible way to get the bills paid, but I did what I had to do with what I had - and it's led me to where I am today. Between the Social Security and the job - I will be able to own a house, and soon. 

Me. The same person who was days away from being homeless just 3 years ago - will be buying a house within the next few months.

It's crazy and mind boggling and overwhelming and exciting and scary and surreal, all at the same time. 

Where I am...

You may or may not have noticed, but I haven’t been around as much lately. Some might think that’s a good thing (ha) and some might be wondering what is happening.

There is so much going on in life right now. This job is kicking my butt. I know, I know – people work every day and it’s not that big of a deal. But face it – I’m not used to it. I didn’t work outside of the home for years and I was still busy every day. Now, I’m gone for roughly 45 hours every week – yet I still have the same amount of stuff to get done around the house. There’s still the same amount of laundry (if not more, thanks to my greasy work clothes) and the same amount of housework and the same amount of yardwork….. except now that all has to get crammed into the time that I have left.

The Dude helps with the stuff around the house when he can, but as of this week he is now working full-time as well. So now we both have crazy schedules and somehow we have to try to fit in time for us to be able to spend time together along with everything else that has to be done around here.

Fall sports have started, which for me means volleyball games every Thursday night. Emily has a tournament tomorrow morning that is being played about an hour from here, and could last all day long. The girls have practice every day after school, so on the days that they come back here they don’t get here until after 6:00pm. By the time we eat and do homework, we’re all so tired that we crash – and then have to get up early the next day and do it again.

I finally got a new phone the other night – but now that I did that, I no longer have my unlimited data plan, which is what I use to access the internet. We added a phone to my plan for The Dude so we share the (now) limited data – he doesn’t use much, but we have to be really careful about how much we use, or it’ll get really expensive, really quickly. So I’m just not online as much, unless I go to his apartment to use his computer or go to the library to enjoy some peace and quiet. While I’m not online as much, I’m working (still) on freeing up some space on this ancient machine so that it’ll hopefully run a little smoother.

So needless to say, I just won’t be around as much for a while until things calm down a bit. I’m looking into options for cheap home internet so that I don’t have to worry about the data usage on my phone as much, but honestly that’s not a high priority right now. We are still working on getting a house of our own, and that is taking longer than we had hoped – but with each month that passes, we are one step closer. My credit is *thisclose* to where it needs to be, and hopefully it’ll be over the top before the end of the year – and then we can actually start the purchasing process.

So many things that are changing in our lives right now – at times I sit back and think about all of it, and it can be a little overwhelming and chaotic and stressful to say the least. But I know that we’re moving in the right direction, and we’re going to just keep on going until we get to where we want to be. I know that we're going to get there - it's just going to be a little crazier than usual along the way.

The past few days.

I feel like I have to play catch-up. I've kind of lost track of some things over the past few days.

I vaguely remember telling someone that I would post a picture showing what I mean when I say that I have to "mow the trees" in my yard, so here it is.

Sunrise from the parking lot at work.

Alex's procedures yesterday. They went very well. Visually, everything is fine so we just have to wait for biopsy results, which we also expect will be normal. They were just done as a routine part of the scopes. Again, I'm not going into details about what is going on with him, but generally speaking we are trying to rule some things out, which it appears that we did.

Gotta' love those post-op popsicles.

And we got some nifty pictures of his (healthy) innards.

After not eating for about 36 hours, we were hungry. He chose Spangles - and I didn't complain.

Later, we decided to go out for a bit. We grabbed something to eat for supper, stopped at the library, then headed to the pool.

Yup. Same kid who had a colonoscopy and
endoscopy 10 hours before...

He *wanted* his ears like that.

Today was a rougher day. I received news through facebook that Jared's buddy, who has been battling brain cancer since last fall, had passed away. Jared was already back at his father's house when I found out, so I let him tell him - because honestly, I couldn't. Then I found out later that he hadn't actually passed, but things were looking very bleak. Needless to say, he has been on my mind all day long.

Then The Dude and I went and met with Mortgage Lady, hoping to get some good news. My credit scores were where they needed to be to be pre-approved for a loan, and I had all of the documentation that I needed. When she pulled my official credit report, there were some issues. In the grand scheme of things, they're not major issues, but they're bad enough that it's going to be at least another month - or maybe two - until we can move on and get the pre-approval. I had gotten my hopes up, and when I left her office I felt totally deflated. Honestly, I still do.

Just some of the paperwork so far.

As horrible as today has been, I'm trying so hard to keep it all in perspective. I know that things in my own life could be so much worse than they really are but right now I'm going through one of those times when I really wish that the crap would stop piling up on top of me. Waiting on updates on Jared's friend is tearing my heart to shreds, and finding out that we're NOT as close to getting a house as I thought we were has made today one of the hardest days for me in recent history.

But, it could be worse.

One step at a time. That's all I can do.

On a mission...

I'm not sure what's gotten into me over the past few days, or even a week, but I've been getting so much more done around the house that it's kind of scary. I've actually been keeping up with the laundry (more or less) and keeping the kitchen clean and really just staying more on top of things than I usually do. I've been sitting here thinking about it tonight - because God forbid I should just take it at face value, and instead I have to sit here and over-analyze it to death.

I think a lot of it has to do with our impending move. I'm super excited about it, but there are so many stresses and so many questions and so many variables right now, and it's ....... I don't know ...... I think it's one of those things where right now, there are so many things that I can't control, so instead I have to go all control-freak-crazy on the house.

The Dude and I have looked at a handful of houses. Some have potential. Some..... not so much. But they are all within our price range if everything else falls into place.

My income is supposed to increase significantly around the end of August. I know about how much it's supposed to increase, but not exactly. And I can't find out the details yet, because well..... it's Social Security. And they don't like to answer questions. I just have to wait a couple more weeks to get the letter with the verification, assuming that what a worker told me several months ago was correct. A lot is riding on receiving that letter.

My credit score is so close. I bit the bullet and I'm paying to get my credit report cleaned up and looking respectable. We already went through Round One of their efforts, and it paid off big time with one of my credit scores going up just over 100 points! They think that by the end of this month when they complete Round Two, my other scores should be where they need to be in order to qualify for financing.

And of course, we have to find the right house.

At this point, even if we found the perfect house and were able to make an offer tomorrow, we still wouldn't be able to be moved before school starts. So that leads to more questions about what to do with the boys - do I enroll them in school here for the first month or two, and then transfer them when we move, or do I enroll them over there and drive them back and forth every day until we move? There are definitely pros and cons to both, but I'll figure that part out soon. I hope.

Walking home from the
grocery store with survival
food for the next couple of
days while I'm working.

So with all of these questions and random scenarios playing in my head, I've gone into uber-cleaning and organizing mode - which serves two purposes. It gives me control over at least part of my life AND it's getting the house ready to be packed up and moved. (I swear I will never be as unorganized as I was for the last move - I still apologize to this day to the people who were kind enough to help me with that disaster.)

In the meantime, I'm just trying to work as many hours as I can so that we can save up a little bit more money to put towards all of this mess. The Dude has been amazing with his willingness to watch the monsters kids while I work and I am forever grateful to him for it - especially when he has to be over here by 5am some mornings in order to make it all happen (like tomorrow). I'm just ready for us all to be in one house so that life will be just a tiny bit less chaotic.

Of course, I don't think he's going to complain too much tomorrow when he actually sees the 2 loaves of banana bread that I made for them tonight.

So we got a few things done today....

Every now and then, we have one of those days when we just don't stop moving and we get tons of stuff done. I'm sitting here trying to think about everything that we did...

I started out by getting up and making the kids pancakes for breakfast. They all ate and got ready to go and then we took off and picked The Dude up at his house, then I took the older kids to Ex1's house and The Dude (and Alex and Daniel) and I went and met with the realtor to look at a couple more houses. They both had potential, but were a bit smaller than what we really need. However, like the other ones, we haven't ruled them out yet.

Then we came back to town and went back to his house and parked the van and then walked back a couple of blocks to a local store that was having a sidewalk sale.

I threatened to buy a big goofy hat to wear while fishing...

But instead we opted for lunch from the hot dog truck that was there. Two naked dogs for the boys, a bacon-wrapped dog for me, and a fully loaded Mexi-dog for The Dude.

In typical Dude fashion, he had to pose with Sr. Weiner.

After that, we went back to his house again, and we loaded up a bunch of stuff that needed to be donated elsewhere. We took a bunch of books to a local used bookstore, and a bunch of clothes and other stuff to the local thrift store. Then we stopped at one of the city offices to get our landfill coupons for the next project.

Back at his house again, we started on the yard. It had gotten pretty overgrown along the fence and was making it difficult to mow, so I cut all of the branches down and we loaded them into his truck and took off for the landfill to get rid of them.

After we got done at the landfill, we went back to his house and I got the yard mowed - so much easier without having to battle branches the entire time! Then I gathered up the boys and we ran into my work to get my schedule for next week and to grab something to eat before we took off toward our house. Once we got home, we inhaled our food and then I mowed my yard and Nice Neighbor's yard. After I got done with that, we ran to the grocery store to get laundry detergent and then BACK to my work to get the milkshakes that we had forgotten to get with our food earlier. Then it was back home again and baths for all 3 of us.

After doing all of that yard work in 99-degree heat, a shower was mandatory for me.

And now that we got all of that done today, I can lay around all day tomorrow and do absolutely nothing - and not feel guilty about it at all.

And that is my plan.

Such a slacker

I haven't really posted anything for the last week or so, and most of it's because life has been so uber-chaotic again. So here are some random tidbits just to get everyone caught up....

Random sighting on the way to WalHell the other morning
to get a certain little boy his birthday present.

So Daniel turned 6 years old the other day. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years already, but it has. 

Yes, he still sucks his thumb. We're working on it.

Birthday donuts.

Irresistible.

All he wanted was that blasted blue
soccer ball.

Recovering from birthday spankings from
The (Very Scruffy) Dude.

Delayed cake and ice cream when I could finally get
all five of them in the house at the same time.

Killing time at a park in between girls' basketball games.

Love seeing them actually getting along and not
beating the hell out of each other.

I have no words.

The park was covered in honeysuckle. Such a heavenly
scent that took me right back to my childhood.

Killing time at another park this morning.

It's never going to go away. On my blog, I can see what people
type into search engines to get here. Over the past month, these are
the most popular searches. 

And just because The Dude is so awesome, I have to say this....

He hasn't been working lately, so I've been picking up some more hours. But in order for me to work, someone has to watch the kids. By default, it's him. Without him, I wouldn't be able to do this, and I am so incredibly grateful. He has leads on a couple of jobs, so we're just waiting to hear back at this point - and then once he starts working, I won't have to put in as many hours.

So the other day, he had the boys and my phone. So he took them out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant and caught this picture of them enjoying their chips and salsa.

And then today, while I was at work and he was keeping an eye on 4 of the kids instead of just 2, he managed to surprise me and put an end to my dish jenga days - and he fixed my broken dishwasher. I thoroughly enjoyed loading my toxic cancer-causing ugly plastic dishes into the energy-hogging inefficient water-wasting cancer-causing-dish-detergent-using dishwasher tonight instead of washing them in the sink. So sue me. I have better things to do than to wash dishes.

And we are officially on the prowl for a house. We looked at a couple today, and both of them had potential, although one had way more potential than the other. Of course, along with more potential comes more money, but.....we'll see. The realtor that we are working with seems really cool and she knows what we're looking for so we're actually going to meet her again tomorrow and look at a couple more that she thinks could possibly work. We really want to get moved before school starts in August, but I don't know if that's going to happen or not - but one way or another, we will get moved. Soon. All of my kids will be in one school district next year, or I will lose what little bit of my mind I have left.

So that's the past few days in a nutshell....hopefully things will calm down around here and I'll be able to keep up a little better.