Resolutions and stuff

Yeah, I'm one of those people this year.

I don't always make resolutions, but this year I am. And really, they're not new. But I have a renewed determination to follow them.

Lose weight. Get in shape. Those are the no-brainers in this case. And thanks to a 1000-Mile running challenge, I should be able to do that (and if you want to join, and you click on that link to do it, I get credit for free stuff...and free stuff is awesome) and train for the next few races at the same time.

And I've gotten some fun gizmos to help, like this awesome calendar from a friend, and an activity tracker thingambob from The Dude, and some hand weights to use while running. Plus, my "sole sis" is doing her evil best to keep me motivated (actually we torture each other, but that's ok). We've been slacking for the past couple of weeks because of the holidays and the craptastic weather, but we'll get back to it. We always do.

I totally bombed at the whole attempt to lose 25 pounds by my birthday thing, but I think I'm in a better head space to do it now.  New year, new start, right?

Then there's the whole business thing. I'm determined to actually turn Mom Cave Designs into a legitimate business, and not just a hobby that makes me a little bit of extra money. I have no idea how to do it, but I've been looking into taking some business classes and figuring out what I need to do in order to make this happen. The orders that I've been getting have been keeping me busy, and it's been awesome. I love being able to do this - especially getting the weighted blankets out to people who need them, and adding new items to my Etsy shop is always fun.

Write more. I constantly have things that I want to write about pop into my head. And then I get distracted and I don't do it. Or I lose my nerve and decide not to put whatever it is "out there". I've always been very selective about the things that I write about, and I plan to continue that. But at the same time I'm going to try to stop worrying about making someone mad with the things that I want to say.

Those are the main things that I am focusing on this  year. And hopefully, with the support of my friends and family and all of the people who are crazy enough to keep reading what I spew online, I'll be able to make it all happen. Only time will tell.

Happy New Year, people!

Putting it out there

This is my "running shelf".

The finisher medals that I've gotten are hanging on the left side. All of my bibs are hanging on the right. In the middle is my battered old Penn State hat and my belt that I use to hold my phone and keys when I run. The top has various other doodads, like my watch and mp3 player...and for some reason a little ceramic bowl that one of the kids made is there too.

This shelf is in my bedroom (note the festive - and very stained - wallpaper) directly between my closet and bathroom doors. I see it many times each and every day, which is part of the reason why I put it there.

Although I haven't been doing it as much lately, I do enjoy running (sort of). It's hard, and it makes me hurt (mostly in a good way), and I grumble about doing it - but it's something that I never expected to be able to do and it's something that many people over the years told me that I couldn't do.

But I can do it. I'm not fast, and I'm never going to break any records, but I can do it.

I can do it.

And I'm going to keep doing it. And I'm going to do it more.

I've fought with my weight a lot over the years, and it's gone up and down within about a 40 pound range over the past 10 years or so. Without disclosing the actual number, I'll just say that right now I'm about 25 pounds over where I want to be.

My birthday is in about 2 1/2 months (*cough*72 days*cough*). I'll be 45.

While running with a group of friends this morning, I voiced something that has been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks now. And now I'm going to put it in writing.

I am going to lose 25 pounds before my birthday.

I'm doing it because I want to. I know where my ideal weight is, and it's actually a little beyond that 25 pounds. But getting rid of that first 25 is a good, realistic start. And if I can when I get that done, it's going to mean something.

It's going to mean that I finally took control of my eating and exercise habits.

It's going to mean that I have proved to myself that there are better ways to deal with crappy days than eating myself stupid.

It's going to mean that I'm going to be healthier than I am now.

It's going to mean that I've forced myself to not hide in the house as soon as the weather turned cold.

It's going to mean that I was able to make a promise to myself and actually keep it.

And it's going to mean that I can tell myself I TOLD YOU SO.

If I was a hashtag person, I'd call it #25by45. But I'm not, so I won't.

But watch me, because I'm going to do this. And I'm going to rock it.

Blah.

That's how I feel today. Just...blah.

The day never starts out great when I step on this piece of crap and it laughs at me. OK, maybe not literally, but still...with all of the changes that I've made lately, it's frustrating to see a gain - and to realize that overall, in 4 weeks, I've only lost 0.4 pounds.

Along with that, I'm still tired from all of the driving yesterday and just haven't been motivated to do much of anything. I have a ton of laundry that I should have done - I started it - but now I have a ton and a half to do tomorrow. I did eventually load and run the dishwasher, and even unloaded it and started reloading it (losing battle, much like laundry) but the kitchen is still a mess. But other than doing that, I just haven't done squat today. My usual motivational tricks didn't even work.

So I've decided that instead of sitting here stressing about it, I'm just going to chalk it up to a bad day and make sure that tomorrow is better. I'm going to walk Alex to school in the morning, then I have to take Daniel to the doctor for his kindergarten physical, then take Daniel to school, go hang out with The Dude and his mother, and then I have a Policy Council meeting in the evening. In between all of that, I'll get the laundry and the dishes done, return the overdue stuff to the library, clean out the van (oh, I did get all of the trash out of it today), hopefully get some groceries, and get some other things done. We'll just see how well that actually works out.

And Spring Break is over.....

Finally. The kids go back to school tomorrow. As much as I love them, I am so ready for them to go back and for us to get back into a good routine again.

We've had a good break. It started out with fabulous weather for the first weekend, then rained for 4 days straight. But once the sun came back out, we spent lots of time outside playing, working in the yard, and going for walks. But, the boys are itching to go back to school. When I told them today that they were going back tomorrow, they both started jumping up and down with excitement.

We went to church this morning, and then this afternoon we went over to The Dude's house to help him work on a car. As it turned out, it didn't need as much work as we thought, but it started running again, so all is good in that department for now. After that we came back home and just hung out and relaxed for a while. Alex finished up some homework that he had forgotten to do before the break, so his backpack is ready to go by the front door.

While we were outside for a little bit earlier, I got some more pictures of the tulips that are blooming.

I can't get over the size of this one...that's my hand holding it.

Anyway, nothing very exciting going on around here. I'm hoping to be able to walk the boys to school tomorrow - Alex's training wheels got the better of him and I ended up having to take them off of his bike because they kept bending so badly, and he just can't get the hang of riding without them, so riding to school won't be an option until I can get him to ride on 2 wheels. So we'll see how it goes if we walk tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be decent all week, so hopefully we can pull it off with minimal whining.

Oh, and since I eliminated the caffeine last week? Down 2.2 pounds. Interesting....

I'm going to gloat. Deal with it.

I was looking back through some old pictures on my facebook page tonight in order to find some that I wanted to show to The Dude. I found this one of me and Daniel that was taken when we went to Oklahoma City in October, 2009.

And then this one was taken tonight of me and Alex.

Do you see the difference? Do you see it?

Holy crap. I mean, I know that I've lost weight, but it didn't seem like that much. People have told me that they've noticed a difference, but I didn't believe them. But looking at these two pictures tonight just totally stunned me.

I'm almost looking forward to wearing girl clothes on Saturday.

Stop laughing. I said almost.

And yes, we will be taking lots of pictures, and we will get someone to take pictures of us together. And yes, I will be posting them. There will be photographic evidence of me in girl clothes, I promise. I'll only be able to post from my phone while we're gone, but once we get back I'll get the good camera pictures posted too.