"Ruin is the road to transformation."

First of all, I can't take credit for the title. If you've ever seen the movie "Eat Pray Love" you might recognize it. I love the movie, and if you haven't seen it, you should - especially if you've ever gone through the healing process from broken relationships.

Anyway, as I was driving the kids to school this morning, I saw a few wheat fields that had already been burned off by the farmers.

The farmers do this after the wheat is harvested, and although I don't understand all of the ins and outs of it, I know that it helps to nourish the soil for the next planting.

While the fields are burning, the smoke that comes off of them is incredible. It is impossible to drive through it, as it is thick and dark and smells awful. I've driven next to a field as it was burning (only because the wind was blowing the opposite way) and even though I was more than 100 feet from the flames, the heat was incredible.

What is left - is nothing. The flames are extinguished when they reach the edge of the fields, and that's it.

But the next crop that is planted there flourishes. The charred and blackened field turns green once again, and the field's original beauty returns.

This scenario has been bouncing around in my head all day. For the past few days, I've been noticing that on the side of my page on facebook, these posts have been showing up - I don't remember what they're called, but they're sort of a "This Day In History" type thing, and I realized that at this time last year, we were preparing to move. We hadn't officially gotten this house yet, and things were up in the air. We were bordering on homelessness. We were broke. We were desperate.

I felt as though my life was in ruins.

But we found this place. It's not the best, but it works. We've made it our home. I am in such a better place emotionally now. There have definitely been ups and downs, but for the most part, life is good. We have reliable transportation. The bills are getting paid. We were able to go on vacation. We have plans to get a better place to live in a couple of years, if all goes well. The kids are all going to school and they are all healthy.

We have been through a major transformation over the past year. For the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to the future.

It's definitely a good feeling. And I think I might have to watch that movie again tonight.

Strawberries, anyone?

Facebook can be such a dangerous thing.

I got on there this morning, and in my news feed I saw this from a produce place in Wichita:

Unbelievable! Fresh, delicious strawberries 49 CENTS A 1lb. BOX! $3.49 a flat!

At first, I dismissed it, thinking that there was no way that there would be any left by the time that I got there. But, I made the mistake of calling them to see just how many they had...and I was assured that they had lots...

When I asked how much was in a "flat" I was told that it contained 8 pounds.

Really? 8 pounds of strawberries for $3.49?

They had a limit of 10 flats per customer. OK, I can deal with that. In the meantime, I talked to a friend of mine who was wondering if I could get some for him too. I took off to Wichita, and he called the place and was told that they would allow me to get 20 since he called and made the arrangements.

What does 20 flats of strawberries look like in a minivan? Something like this:

And then once they're brought into the house, they look something like this:

Not knowing exactly what we were getting ourselves into, we started doing the math. And after I made one batch tonight, I've determined that if we make all of these strawberries into jam, we will have 320 pints.

Oops.

At this point, I believe I'll be preparing the berries and getting them into the freezer to keep them from spoiling, then I can tackle them a little bit at a time. There's no way I can come up with 320 empty jars. Not to mention the pectin and the sugar.

Oops.

:)

Strawberry jam, anyone?

Alex's first day

Today was Alex's first day of kindergarten. We walked to school since it's less than a mile from here - he had a blast and thought that it was cool that we could walk there.

Daniel rode. Alex walked. :)

Stopping to check out what's left of Sand Creek.

The summer has been brutal.

Love this picture....

Anxious to get inside!

Waiting in line to get to his class.

At his desk. :)

I tried to restrain myself from doing the happy dance on my way out of the building, but I was spotted by another mother who was almost in tears after dropping off her daughter. I admit, it was a little harder than I thought it would be, but I'm so happy to finally get into a routine and have some time to myself for a little bit each day!

Daniel and I kept walking after we dropped him off and did a little bit of shopping. I walked about 3 miles that time, and then a little less than a mile and a half to go back and pick him up. Hopefully we can keep up the walking part, as long as the weather allows.

Daniel suckered me into buying him a pair of shades.

Alex had a great first day, as did the older 3 kids. They have been fighting going to bed, but since we have to be up at 5:30 I have to be Mean Mommy and force them to go. Tomorrow we get to get up early, do breakfast, load up and be ready to go by 7:15 to get the older 3 to school by 7:30. Then Alex goes back to school at noon, and it just goes on and on and on....it's going to take a while to get into the routine, but I'm looking forward to it.

And as of Monday, when Daniel goes to preschool, I will officially be kid-free for a few hours each day! Woot! I love my kids dearly, but boy have I been looking forward to this!

The final countdown!

So as of tomorrow, 4 out of the 5 kids will be in school. :)

I won't get to see the older 3 off on their first day - they'll be with their father. But, they'll be here afterwards, so it's all good.

I took Alex and Daniel to their open houses tonight, so they got to see their rooms and see what sort of fun is waiting for them. Alex goes tomorrow for half a day - he goes half days for 4 weeks before he transitions to full-day kindergarten. Daniel starts half-day preschool on Monday.

I sat down with my calendar today to try to make some semblance of order out of how to get the kids back and forth to school. It appears that Daniel will not get to ride the bus to preschool like Alex did last year, so that's adding to the confusion.

For the first 4 weeks, I have to take Alex to school at noon and pick him back up at 3pm. After that, it'll be 8am and 3pm. So that's 10 trips per week.

Once Daniel starts preschool, I have to drop him off at 12:30 and pick him up at 3:30. Another 10 trips per week.

Now that I know that Daniel is going to preschool in the afternoon, I was able to get him back into the other preschool that he went to 2 mornings per week last year. So that'll be dropoffs at 9am and pickups at 11am on Wednesdays and Fridays. 4 more trips per week.

Then I'll also have to get the older 3 kids to their school (in another town) on Thursday and Friday mornings by 7:30am. 2 more trips.

So that's a total of 26 trips per week, every week, to get 5 kids to 5 different schools in 2 different districts. Once Alex goes full-time, I can combine dropping the older 3 off and dropping him off, so it'll go down to 24 trips per week.

Luckily, I can do a lot of them on foot, weather permitting. But it's going to be crazy. And then of course the girls want to play basketball again, so that'll mean getting them back and forth to practices and games too.

I did manage to give the boys haircuts today, although they were not uber-cooperative with the picture-taking process. LOL However, Alex's expression here pretty much captures how I felt after attempting to decipher the transportation chaos....

But for now, I need to get Alex to bed (yes, he's still watching a movie - bad mommy) and clean up and mentally prepare myself for the whole back-to-school thing. Tomorrow, a whole new round of chaos begins.

Oh, and I did finally get my new glasses today...notice the prince sitting behind me....

Monday night ramblings...

It's just been one of those days.

Started out great with the boys letting me sleep in a bit, but that didn't last long.

Made breakfast for the boys. OK, so it was just toast, but it still involved a little bit of effort. Give me a break.

Just as I was getting ready to get in the shower, Alex started yelling that there was "some guy" here - so I got dressed again, and sure enough there was the maintenance guy standing in my living room. It's official - after all of the work that they did on my bathroom a few weeks ago, there is a leak somewhere behind the wall. I'm foreseeing my bathroom being destroyed and rebuilt again soon. Plus he took a look at my stove, which is apparently possessed by demons. He's going to try to convince the owner to just replace it, but we'll see if that happens or not.

Grabbed a quick shower and then made lunch for the boys - I swear they can live on PB&J, and I'm really not complaining. Much.

Did some sewing. Did some cleaning. Did some laundry.

Filed my insurance claim for the Great Flying Boulder Incident.

Called Daniel's preschool to once again attempt to find out if he's going in the morning or in the afternoon. Again, no response. Jerks.

Then it was time to get ready for parent/teacher conferences for the older three kids. Of course, the scheduling for those got all sorts of jacked up, so it went something like this....

Left here just before 4:00 to get to Sarah's at 4:40 (had to make a Sonic run on the way). Met the teacher, blah blah blah, left there just before 5:00.

Raced back to town to get to the quilt shop before it closed at 5:30 to get some needed fabric. Then we went across the street to Burger King to get supper and kill some time.

Went flying back to the school (keep in mind the older 3 go to school in a different town that is about 12 miles away) for Emily's conference at 6:20. Met the teacher, blah blah blah.

Yes, Alex, I know that the van needs to be washed. That's what happens when you do 60mph on 20 miles of dirt roads. Thank you for making it even more noticeable now.

Went another 10 miles to Jared's school for his conference at 7:20. Met with the teacher, blah blah blah.

Got back here a little after 8:00 and got Alex and Daniel into their pajamas and THEN realized that I had a couple of Redbox movies that had to be returned. So they put on their sneakers with their pajamas and we walked to the Redbox.

Got back from there, did a few things, sat down to check email and realized that Daniel was awfully quiet. Add this one to the "My Kids Can Sleep Anywhere" files.

Asleep on the loveseat/footstool, wrapped up in a Christmas tree skirt that came back from PA with us.

So the boys are in bed, I have a ton of laundry and straightening up to do, and then I really need to make a grocery list and get stuff together for when the kids start school this week. I sort of forgot about that whole I Have To Pack Lunches again thing. Darn it.

Tomorrow night I have open houses for both Alex and Daniel's schools - maybe I'll actually find out if Daniel is going in the morning or afternoon so that I can start making some plans.

Ha. Like my plans ever work out....

A "real" single parent

This is something that has been irritating me for a while. I see it all of the time and every time I do, it really ticks me off. For the most part, when people do things like this, I can just let it roll off my back and not get terribly irritated by it, but this has been happening more and more lately.

I see and hear parents making comments such as these:

"My husband/boyfriend is out of town for a week, so I get to be a single mom until he comes back."

"My wife/girlfriend has the flu, so I have to be a single dad until she's better."

"My boyfriend/husband has been working a lot of hours lately, so I feel like a single mom."

"My spouse is deployed, so I'm a single parent for the next 6 months."

OK, people - let's get something straight.

If you have a spouse/partner/significant other who is the biological/adoptive/stand-in mother/father to your child, you are NOT a single parent.

So the other parent is out of town for a few days....suck it up. You're not a single parent.

The other parent doesn't feel well? Not your ticket to single parenthood.

Other parent works a lot? Be thankful and deal with it.

Spouse is deployed? First off, thank you both for your sacrifices, but it still doesn't make you a single parent.

Why do I say these things? Because until you are truly a single parent, you will NEVER understand what it's like.

Just because your spouse (or partner or significant other or whatever) is out of town, you are not a single parent. Your spouse is still supporting you emotionally even if he/she isn't just in the next room. Assuming that your spouse works, there is financial support. Most importantly, your spouse will eventually come home and step back into the role of the other parent.

A real single parent doesn't have this.

Yes, my older 3 kids spend half of their time with their father. I have help with them in that respect.

Alex and Daniel are with me 24/7. Alex's father walked out of his life several months ago, and Daniel's father passed away. Yes, I get child support for Alex and yes, I get Social Security for Daniel. So there is financial support. But there is no one there to help with decision-making. No one to help decide which school to get them into. No one to help pick out a new bike for them. No one to help get them to and from appointments or school or playdates. No one to stay with the kids for a few minutes while I run to the store to get the milk that I forgot to get earlier. If I'm sick, guess what? I don't get to lay around and take naps until I feel better - I have to suck it up and continue being a parent because there is no one else to do it.

There is no one to put down as an emergency contact if I can't be reached.

Think about that - I am their one and only emergency contact. I'm it. No one else.

If something happens to me, what happens to them?

That, my friends, is a single parent.

I think the one that irks me the most is when people say "I get to be a single parent until...." like it's an honor or something. Trust me, it's not. Being a single parent sucks most of the time.

Yes, there are perks. I can load up my kids and take a road trip and not worry about asking permission or making different visitation arrangements. I know that they get consistent discipline because I am the only one dishing it out. I have 'the power' when it comes to decision-making. But guess what? I don't always want 'the power'. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to say "ask your father" instead of being the bad guy and having to say no. It would be nice to be able to run out to the grocery store and not have to drag all of the kids with me because there's no one to watch them while I go.

Don't get me wrong - I have friends who do help me out when I need it. I can generally find someone to watch the kids if I have to go do something and they can't (or shouldn't) go with me. But to go to the grocery store? They go with me. To run errands? They go with me.

School starts this week, and soon I will have a few hours each day when all of my kids are in school. I've been asked what I'm going to do with all of that "spare time"....

I'm going to go to the grocery store. Alone.
I'm going to go to the library. Alone.
I'm going to take showers and shave my legs without refereeing fistfights on the other side of the shower curtain.
I'm going to make appointments for things that need to be done that I've been putting off for months so that I can get them done. Alone.
I'm going to start taking better care of myself and get back into my walking/jogging routine because I will finally have time to do it.

I'm going to do all of the things that many non-single parents get to do on a regular basis and often take for granted. I might even *gasp* get to go out to lunch with a friend occasionally and be able to have an uninterrupted conversation.

Being a parent is hard. Being a single parent is just as hard, if not harder. Not all single parents are single by choice - some are single due to the death of their spouse, or infidelity, or a multitude of other reasons. To just flippantly say "I get to be a single parent for a few days/weeks/months..." is downright insulting to many real single parents.

So...parents WITH partners, wherever they may be - think twice before comparing yourself to a single parent. And the next time you are filling out paperwork for your child, be thankful that there is someone to put on that "Emergency Contact" line.

I found a naked lady in my yard!

And here I just thought that I would mow the yard and be done with it.

I did manage to total a car with the mower.

I got all of the trees mowed down out back...

But the best part of the whole day was discovering a naked lady in my yard!

Yes, it is true. I have a whole bunch of naked ladies in my yard. I've seen them all over town and have always wondered what they were. Then after we moved in here and I was talking to one of my neighbors, he told me that there were naked ladies in my backyard - at first I had no idea what he was talking about, but it suddenly dawned on me!

So now that I know where this one is, I have to keep my eyes out for the rest. Since they seemingly grow out of nowhere, they are hard to spot until they get taller. I remember more-or-less where the leaves came up this spring, but they're gone now so it's just a waiting game to see how many will grow.

I lead such an exciting life....