A bit of a rant….

So, I know I’ve been MIA for a few days as far as this blog goes. Things have been chaotic as usual, but that’s nothing new as anyone who knows me knows.

Since I don’t have internet access at home (other than my phone), this blog has been a joint effort. I type up the posts on my home computer, save them, transfer them to my phone, email them to my trusty assistant, and she logs in and posts them for me. I had heard that there was a way that I could tether my phone to my computer and use it as a modem, but my computer was too out of date for that stuff. A friend offered to update it for me, and so I delivered my computer to him yesterday for him to work his magic. He did his thing, and let me know today that he was done with it.


Because we are getting more oh-so-lovely winter weather, my son’s bus was not running for preschool today. I had to drop him off and pick him up. No big deal, as it’s only a few blocks away from the house. When I dropped him off, I noticed that the She-Beast was doing her characteristic whine that she does when she is hungry for power steering fluid. Keep in mind that I replaced both power steering hoses last summer, and I have not had an issue with it since then. I went to pick him up after school and then we ran a couple of errands. I had to stop at the post office, and when I pulled in to parallel park, the power steering went out. Completely. Great. Yay me. I backed up a bit to get into my parking spot, and saw all of my power steering fluid in a puddle on the ground. I popped the hood and looked and from what I could see, both hoses were still attached at the base of the steering column. I can’t see the other ends without getting underneath her, and I just wasn’t in the mood for that. So I drove to my friend’s house and got the computer and came home, struggling to make every turn.

When I got home, I hooked up my computer and started playing around with it to figure out how I could do the tethering thing. Now, I am not a computer geek by any stretch of the imagination – like mechanical work, I know just enough to be dangerous. But I got the phone connected and told it to tether and then tried to open up the browser. It opened, and defaulted to a page from my cell phone provider informing me that in order to do this, I have to pay an additional $20 per month on top of the exorbitant amount that I already pay in order to have unlimited service. Another $20? Really? Seriously? Is it worth it? For convenience, yes. For my wallet, not so much. So here I sit, still trying to decide if I want to do it or not. I like having the internet on my phone so that I can use it anywhere, but it would be nice to be able to view pages on a normal sized monitor rather than the tiny little screen on the phone. And with my chubby fingers, it would be so much easier to do all of my typing on a regular keyboard. But is it really worth ANOTHER $20???

Then I realized that in addition to getting my son to preschool tomorrow (because I’m sure that the busses won’t be running again) I also have to get the two youngest to their playschool in the morning. With no power steering. Ugh. It never ends. The good news is that I can take the She-Beast to my friend’s house (the same one who fixed my computer) and use their garage, and at least work on her out of the elements. The trick will be navigating the alley and the entrance to their garage without hitting anything on the way in.

I am so sick and tired of this stuff. I am sick and tired of having to fix things that break, especially on the She-Beast. I am sick and tired of having to deal with all of the BS that happens in my life on an almost-daily basis. I am tired of doing all of the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and the chauffeuring and the mechanical work and everything else that comes along with being a single parent. I am tired of not having the money to just pay a real mechanic to fix the She-Beast when she breaks, and I’m tired of not having the money to do ANYTHING. I know that this is all temporary – I am getting back on my feet, and at least I have a vehicle (most of the time) and I have a roof over our heads. The daycare licensing is almost done, and then I can advertise and get the kids that I need to get to get some steady income coming in. I know that we are going to get through this, but damn if it isn’t frustrating as hell sometimes. I keep thinking of the old saying “what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger” – well I know this isn’t going to kill me, but I’m about as strong as I really want to be right now.

And now that I see that my 5 year old has wet his pants, I now have to go deal with that. And then finish cleaning and get both of the boys ready for bed and clean up the living room and the kitchen and do some paperwork and finish about 4 loads of laundry that are in various stages of being done and run the dishwasher and make a grocery list and get prepared to go spend the afternoon underneath the She-Beast tomorrow.

Good thing I just made another pot of coffee. I think it’s going to be an all-nighter.