A bonding day

I mentioned the other day that things have been a little stressful around here lately. Today we had the opportunity to do something a little bit different, and so Sarah and I spent the day together. Just us. No one else.

And so we did. We "got rid of" the other kids and she and I took off on a little road trip. We didn't do anything crazy and exciting, but we just spent time together. And we had fun.

We were goofy and silly and did a few things that would have totally embarrassed the other kids if they were around - but they weren't, so we didn't care. And then we went out to lunch together, and then I took her back and dropped her off with her stepmother and got the boys from school (yes, they had school today) and did everything else that we needed to do.

Honestly though, I feel so much more relaxed now. Just taking a day off to go and have fun with ONE of my kids was wonderful. It was so nice to be able to have a real conversation with her without being interrupted or constantly having one eye watching everything else that goes on around us all of the time.

Now the trick will be to find the time to do this on a regular basis with all of the kids, one at a time. It's not so hard with the younger two just because of the way that the custody schedule works - but it's trickier with the older three. But I know how important it is for all of the kids to get their 'alone time' and I have to make more of an effort to make it happen.

However, I think it might just be the key to our sanity.

Camping, a supermoon, and a milestone

The Dude and I had an absolutely incredible time at the lake this weekend. I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it was to get away, have some quiet time, and just simply relax. When we scheduled this, it didn't even dawn on us that we might have to deal with Cinco de Mayo festivities, but then we were thrilled to find out that our night at the lake would coincide with the appearance of the supermoon.

My friend came up and took my 2 kids and her 2 kids out to the lake with us for a while yesterday afternoon, and then she brought them back in town and stayed here at my house for the night. Late this morning, I came back in and got the boys so that she could get back home and get to work.

The Dude and I got the tent set up relatively easily and then started fishing - we fished until it got dark and then started the fire around 10pm. We (ok, "he") cooked dinner over the fire, we ate, we talked, we laughed...we ate some more.... We took some pictures of the moon and then we went back out and fished some more in the moonlight before we crawled into the tent.

When we got up this morning, we fished some more (surprise) before I went to get the boys. The boys had a blast playing and trying to "help" us fish. At one point The Dude got a fish on his line and he let Alex reel it in - Alex was pretty sure that was the coolest thing EVER!

Anyway, here just just a *cough* few of the 200ish pictures that we took....

The massive tent

Yes, he's insane.

The view from our fishing spot

The first catch

This one was mine...

Mini-fish - also mine.

We actually caught a lot yesterday and last night.

I know it's hard to see, but you're looking at an owl's butt - he was in the tree directly above me last night.

FIRE!!!

Cooking dinner - this was around 10:30pm, and you can still see the trees that were probably 1/4-1/2 mile away because of the light of the moon.

Supermoon

Supermoon

Supermoon

First catch this morning

Another one from this morning

We were doing really well for a while...

And again, this morning...

Alex found a pet.

Kerry was really good at catching sticks - but on a good note, that fishing area is seriously in much better shape now than it was when we got there. We pulled a ton of branches out of the water - it just wasn't necessarily intentional.

Alex and The Dude reeling one in.

Alex's first catch!

So anyway....like I said - we had an amazing time. The weather was phenomenal, and other than some loud "neighbors" it was so peaceful. We got to talk about a lot of things (and a lot of nothing) and we just enjoyed each other's company. And even though the boys were not interested in sitting still and fishing, we had fun with them out there too. Now that we know how to set the tent up, we might even take all of the kids out there one of these weekends just for the heck of it!

While we were sitting by the water today, I did a lot of reflecting of my own. Today was the anniversary of a very important day in my life - the day that I finally took my life back. Three years ago today, I knew that my marriage was over. I remember every emotion from that day - I remember the fear, the anger, the sadness, the frustration, the devastation - I remember it all like it happened yesterday.

In the 3 years since that day, my life has changed dramatically. I have changed dramatically. I have gone through a lot of changes since then - and not just the outer changes that people see. As a person I have grown and matured in ways that I never felt possible.

Sitting out by that water with The Dude today, I felt so at peace. It was the kind of peace that came from within me. No longer do I feel scared, or sad, or hopeless, or helpless, or anything even remotely close to those. For the first time in many many years, I am happy. Things in my life have stabilized in such a way that I can actually say "life is good" and mean it. My kids (although frustrating at times) are wonderful, I have a fantastic man in my life who loves me for me in spite of the craziness that is my life, and for the first time in a long time - I am making plans for the future.

I don't know how I got to this point, when 3 years ago I could barely make it through each day without falling apart in some way. I have spent so much time soul searching and figuring out how I got to where I was - and then I was able to figure out what to do next. It was a long, slow, and often painful process, but honestly, at this point - I wouldn't change a thing. I am so happy with my life right now, and I know that I wouldn't be where I am today had I not gone through all of the other crap.

Life is good.

Planning to escape

After the craziness of the past few weeks (month?) and given the impending craziness of the next few weeks (month?) The Dude and I decided that we need to get away - somewhere - anywhere - even if it's just for a day. We started tossing around ideas, but most of them were too expensive. Tropical vacations to a deserted island just aren't feasible to plan at the last minute when living on a fixed income, sadly enough.

So we came up with the next best thing. Saturday afternoon, after we get done with the CF Walk, we are going to the lake. My friend that I took to Kansas City last week is going to bring her two kids up on Saturday, and we are all going to go out to the lake while we scope out our prime camping spot. Once she knows where it is (in case of emergency, because oh darn, there's no cell reception out there) she's going to bring all 4 kids (her two plus Alex and Daniel) back here to the house to spend the night.

It's a dinky little lake, but it's in a beautiful setting. We are planning on taking a tent, some chairs, some firewood, some food, and some fishing poles. And maybe a bottle of wine just for kicks. We are going to relax, enjoy the gorgeously hot weather, fish until we can't fish anymore, and just enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet, and head back home Sunday morning (or afternoon).

I honestly think that the best part of the whole thing is that my phone does not work out there. At all. We will be totally unreachable. We haven't really had any significant time to ourselves since our trip to Oklahoma City, but even on that trip we didn't have much time to ourselves, unless we were driving.

Next weekend, we have another trip to Oklahoma for my friend's wedding reception...and then the kids will be out of school in a few weeks, so things are just going to get crazier and crazier until we leave for our "real" vacation, otherwise known as TMOART:2012 (The Mother of All Road Trips). This is the 3rd time that we've done this - we're going back to my "home" in Pennsylvania with lots of other stops along the way. At least this time, I'll have The Dude with me to be my driving partner and I won't have to do the whole thing by myself.

I am so ready to get away...even if it's just for one night!