A glimpse inside my head.

...and it's kind of a messy place to be right now.

Ever have one of those days when you just have so much stuff on your mind that you can't even make any sense out of it whatsoever?

That's me today. This is the 4th attempt at writing this post.

I don't even know where to begin.

I'm tired. I'm cranky. Actually, I'm just downright exhausted, and everything keeps piling up on top of me higher and higher and I'm getting really tired of it.

Between not having my van, and dealing with the recent breakdown of The Dude's truck, and working more hours at work, and him not working because of his injured shoulder, and trying to handle the normal household stuff, and still trying to figure out how to get us and The Dude moved into one house, and our newest project of trying to get him into school in the fall (I'll be dating a college student - how weird is that?), and handling the kids' attitudes, and preparing for summer vacation, and trying to plan a weekend getaway for me and him - I'm pretty sure that I'm about to lose my mind.

Not that there's much of it left.

To be completely honest with you, I had a bit of a meltdown (or three or four) on him tonight. Sometimes the stress just gets to be too much and I lose it, and I take it out on him. And I hate when I do that and I feel horrible about it - yet he just takes it all in stride. I kind of freaked out on him because there was no way that I could plan anything for this evening, because anything that we wanted to do was contingent upon other people deciding what they were going to do - and I snapped. What was the subject of my snapping?

World peace? Global warming? The economy?

No. It was what to make for supper.

And how did he handle it? He got up and starting digging through the fridge and freezer, and he made supper for us and the kids.

What did I do? I let him have control. I walked out of the kitchen and went and stretched out on my bed and I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I napped, but I did it.

I still don't know why he puts up with me - and I told him that again tonight. Whatever the reason is, I'm thankful for it and I don't know what I would do without him. I know that we're going to get through all of this BS at some point in time.....but I really wish that it would happen sooner rather than later.

At some point, we need to catch a break. But at the same time, at least we know that we can handle the rough stuff - because we've sure been through a bunch of it already - and we still kinda' like each other.

Can't really complain about that.