A girl with a vision. A mom with power tools.

It's a good combination.

It all started out a while ago when Emily decided that she wanted a bookshelf for her room. The three basement bedrooms are small, don't have closets, and all have at least one cement wall - which makes adding shelves more difficult. We've had to get creative with storage down there (remember the beds that we built?), but so far the kids have done well with improvising.

Emily decided that she wanted basically a bigger version of some cubbies that I had made for the girls many years ago. I told her to draw up what she wanted, and we'd figure it out from there. So she came up with this:

She drew it on her iPod. Whatever works, right?

We finally decided to do it yesterday, so we went out to the garage and poked around in the plethora of scrap plywood leftover from other projects. Once we found the wood we were going to use, we got started. She decided to change some of the measurements a bit, but that was the fun part - we created as we went.

She decided that she wanted a back on it, but rather than use plywood, we used a scrap piece of paneling that we found in the garage to give it a different look - and make it not be quite so heavy to move around.

Once we got it assembled, she went to work with the sander.

Then she dug around the cans of paint in the basement until she found the one that she wanted - light colored so that she can doodle on it and decorate it however she wants to.

It actually is square - but the picture
makes it look wonky.

I really can't complain about a kid wanting more room to keep her books - and I'm even more thankful that she was happy to design it and help build it rather than insist on something store bought. We had a fun few hours doing it, she's happy with the final product, and it didn't cost us a penny.

Pretty awesome in my opinion.

Strength

So for the past week or so, I've been busting my butt to replace the flooring in my laundry/bath and beyond. It's been a long, drawn-out job for so many reasons.

I've done the majority of the job myself. The kids have helped out here and there, and The Dude popped in and out when he could, but the vast majority of it has been me plugging away, usually late at night after the kids were in bed. It's been strenuous and draining and just overall not very easy.

The bulk of the job is done. The washer and dryer are back in place, but the toilet is still sitting on the side porch, waiting to be put back in its spot. Edging needs to be done between the tile and carpet, and there are 4 doors that have to be trimmed and rehung, among a host of other little piddly jobs.

I'm tired.

I got up and made breakfast this morning, but after I cleaned the kitchen I went out to the living room and curled up on the loveseat and I fell asleep. And I slept off and on for most of the day. I got up a couple of times to go to the bathroom or get something to drink, but that was it.

At one point I got up long enough to flip a load of laundry and cook some chicken - but only because I was starting to feel guilty for being so lazy.

The whole time I kept thinking to myself - people always tell me how they think I'm so strong. They admire what I'm able to do for myself.

Strong. Independent. Non-stop.

Today, I felt anything but strong. My body hurts. My hands ache so much that opening a new bottle of soda brought me to tears. Typing this is painful.

I felt anything but independent, because all I wanted was for someone - anyone - to come to the house and help. Someone to take the kids out to do something. Someone to do some laundry for me. Someone to hand me some food that I didn't have to make.

Non-stop was definitely not in my vocabulary today. I stopped. I crashed. I slept. I moped at how crappy I feel. I watched videos that made me cry and allowed myself to feel the relief of letting go.

I get so tired of always being strong. It's exhausting. It's overwhelming.

It's not always empowering. It's not always a good thing. And for so many people, it's not a choice - it's a way to survive life, one task at a time.

And sometimes, being strong means admitting that we are weak and we need help. Sometimes it's admitting that we're an emotional mess and we really don't have our act together. Sometimes it's just admitting that we need to recharge before we can do one more thing.

I'm tired. I can't do it all.

And that's ok.

The making of a clothesline

I posted this picture of my almost-completed clothesline on my facebook page and had at least one person ask me how I made them - so I figured that I'd just try to explain it here. I started to take pictures during the process, but then as time went on I kept forgetting to take more. But honestly, this was one of the simplest projects that I've done since we moved into this house. It's really easy. Honest.

I started off with three 4x4 pieces of lumber. They typically come in 8' lengths, so that's what I got. One thing you need to be aware of is that a 4x4 is not actually 4" by 4". It's 3 1/2" by 3 1/2".  Why? I'm not sure. I was told at one point that it's because when the lumber is cut, it's cut as a 4x4 but then in the processing and smoothing, it's trimmed and comes out smaller. Whether or not that's true? I don't know.

Anyway.....the first thing that I did was take one of the 4x4's and cut it in half, so it was now in 2 lengths that were each 4' long. Then I found the center of each one and made a small mark, then drew lines that were 1 3/4" out from each side of that mark. By doing that, I had marked the 3 1/2" wide spot that the vertical post would eventually fit into, and it would be centered on the horizontal crossbar.

Then I took my circular saw and set the blade to about 1/2" and cut grooves into the wood about 1/4" apart. I laid them side by side and cut through both of them at the same time just to make life easier.

Then I used a hammer and chisel and chiseled out the part that I had grooved, which left a 3 1/2" wide notch in the wood that was about 1/2" deep. The vertical pole will now fit in that notch, giving the whole thing a little more stability. You don't want to make the notch too deep, or else it will weaken the crossbar and it can split in the middle.

Make sure it fits.

I measured down 5" from the top of the vertical piece and made a line, and then lined the crossbar up just under that line. I had carriage bolts to hold the two pieces together, and used a long drill bit to drill through both pieces, inserted the bolt with washers and tightened them together with a nut.

I had purchased eye bolts to use to attach the ropes, and chose to get ones that were long enough to go the entire way through the crossbar, but you can always use shorter ones that just screw into the wood without going the whole way through. I measured about 4" in from each end of the crossbar and then spaced 4 eye bolts across it, drilled holes the entire way through, inserted them and tightened them with a nut and washer. 

At this point the poles were done.

The Dude and I had measured out where we wanted to put them earlier in the day and I marked the spots with spray paint. I dug holes about 18" deep and then stood the pole in it to see if I could reach the top or not. I wanted them to be fairly high so that when I hang sheets and comforters, they won't drag on the ground, but I also didn't want them to be so high that I couldn't reach them. So I made the crossbars as high as I could comfortably reach and used a quick concrete mix to anchor them in place. I used a level to make sure that they were standing straight(ish) and propped them so that they wouldn't fall before the concrete started to set.

I ran into some technical difficulties in the process - like I somehow managed to jam the first drill bit into the head of the drill and it wouldn't come out, no matter what I did. Finally after fighting with it for about 45 minutes I gave up and took it to the local hardware store, where the owner was able to get the bit out in about 2.5 seconds. Not counting that, from beginning to end the whole thing probably took less than 3 hours. I'll put the rope on tomorrow after I know that the concrete is good and set. I also plan to put some decorative bricks around the bottom of the poles, but that'll wait until tomorrow at least.

Like I said, super simple and quick to do. I need to dig out the receipts and figure out exactly how much I paid - I'd say that it was under $50. If you're looking to do something like this, there are about a gajillion plans for them online - I had scoped them out and just combined ideas that I liked and came up with this one and so far, it's worked. We'll just have to see what happens when I do my first load of laundry with them.

Vehicles and Beds...

This is just going to be a quickie to answer some specific questions that have been posed several times over the past few weeks. I figured it was easier to just do it here....

The girls' beds....this is basically what they turned out looking like.

The first one is Emily's. She wanted hers to be lower than Sarah did, so this is what she and I designed. It's all just 3/4" plywood and there's a piece on the back (against the wall) to keep anything that is shoved into the cubbies from going out the other side - and to make the whole thing sturdier.

We are going to do the zebra duct tape on all of the edges - it's easier than sanding them all down and it looks cool. I think she's eventually going to paint the inside of the cubbies too, but that's up to her to decide.

Sarah wanted taller, so she designed hers to be taller - although it would drive me insane. I did put a second piece of plywood across the top of hers to further reinforce it to support the weight of her and her mattress. So far she has opted not to paint hers - we'll see if she changes her mind or not.

Both of the beds just take a standard twin-sized mattress. They are heavy and they are not going anywhere. Literally. They won't fit through the doors of the rooms.

Now on to the bigger question.....

The vehicle.

I still don't know what to call it. It's not really a van, or a car, or an SUV. I think technically it's a crossover, whatever that means.

Anyway......

My minivan died a few months ago, shortly after I paid it off. So I had to get something different.  But, I was in the middle of financing the house, so I couldn't run out and finance something else and risk screwing up my credit, right?

Enter the GrandpaCar - the Grand Marquis - I bought it from a friend's grandfather because I needed something that the kids and I could all fit into, but not have to be financed. It worked for us, but it was very crowded and uncomfortable.

I kept putting money aside into what I was calling the "house/van" fund - money to be used for both. I also got a very sizable tax refund which went straight into that fund. Once the house was settled and we closed and we had gotten done with the initial "big" expenses, I did some figuring and decided that I could start looking for another minivan. So I called a couple of the local dealerships and basically said "I need something used, inexpensive, mechanically sound, and can seat 7 - find it for me" and turned them loose.

One of them called me back the next day and said "I know you said minivan, but what about a Traverse? It seats 8....." The Dude and I went and looked at it with no intentions of buying it at all - I really just wanted to see how something that was NOT a minivan could seat 8 people. Long story short, I liked it. We went back home and I researched it and liked what I could find on the safety stuff and whatnot, and the price that they had on it was a couple of thousand below the blue book value. So we started talking money and I said that I was thinking about just scrapping my dead van - instead the dealership sent a couple of guys out to the house to look at it and they ended up offering me an insane (to me) amount of money in trade.

Between what they were asking for the Traverse, what I could afford to put down, and what they gave me for the dead van, I was able to get the payments under where I wanted them to be AND get a really good warranty on it. At that point, I would be stupid to not get it.....so I got it. I kept the GrandpaCar  for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is that I have a kid who will be driving in a few months - and whether she likes it or not, she can drive that. And since The Dude's truck is iffy at times, he can drive it when he needs to go out of town or whatever.

Any other questions? :)