A day in the dirt

After 4 days of pretty solid rain, we were ready to get outside when we saw that the sun was shining this morning. I love the rain - don't get me wrong - but having that much rain when the kids are off school for Spring Break is really kind of a downer - not to mention that getting that much at a time makes my body hurt.

Anyway, my number one priority today was to tackle the flowerbed - again. This time I actually worked on digging up the weeds instead of pulling them, because these suckers have deep roots. I still didn't do a stellar job, but I figure if I keep working on it little by little, eventually I'll get rid of the weeds.

All in all, by the end, it definitely looked better, although the pounding rain did take a toll on some of the tulip plants.

More tulips are starting to bloom, while the first batch of pale yellow ones are just about spent. The sedum is growing out quite nicely too.

While I worked, I tried to keep the boys occupied in the front yard, but they were bored. They tried riding their bikes for a while but got frustrated with that and got even more bored. Finally, I came up with the brilliant(?) idea to let them play in a big puddle in the driveway. I even moved the van back out of the way just to keep them occupied.

It worked.

After we were done outside, I stripped the boys naked on the front porch (literally) and then chased them inside and straight to the bathtub. That was easily one of the most disgusting baths that I've ever had the opportunity to give - but they eventually got clean and then ate supper, and I took a shower since they nonchalantly flung a handful of mud in my direction and got me right upside the face with it. Then we strolled down the street to the grocery store, and I caught a few shots on the way back.

Now they are playing and watching a movie, and will be heading to bed soon, and I am going to work on some sewing that I have been trying to do for weeks....we'll see how far I get on that one!

Another confession.

This is something that has been bothering me - literally - over the past few days. I have thought about writing about it, then chickened out several times. But I finally decided that I'm just going to do it. Maybe getting it out of my system will help me to deal with it. Maybe it'll help another woman who is going through the same thing. Maybe it'll help some guy to understand that a woman that he loves is not insane, even though she might act like it at times.

I'm talking about PMDD. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

The best description of it (in my opinion) that I've found so far can be found here, but if you want the shortened version, think "PMS on steroids"...that's about the only way that I can describe it. I mean seriously, look at the list of symptoms on that website - and imagine going through all of them in a matter of a couple of days (out of that entire list, the only ones that I have not experienced have been panic attacks and suicidal thoughts).

Sometimes, during this time, my moods change almost by the minute - sometimes not quite to that extreme. Sometimes it's gradual and I don't notice it right away. But usually it's pretty significant mood swings - and I've always had a temper, but it's definitely magnified by the PMDD. I find myself getting so incredibly angry, and I'm not a nice person to be around. If I'm lucky (not to mention the people around me) I recognize what is going on and I can make the conscious effort to walk away from the situation - but that doesn't always happen and someone or something takes the brunt of my anger and frustration. I eat everything in sight. I don't feel like doing anything. My body hurts. I cry - a lot.

I'm just plain miserable.

I was officially diagnosed with PMDD years ago - and at that time, my doctor put me on antidepressants. They helped - if you consider walking around like a zombie and falling asleep standing up "helping". I wasn't moody - but then again, I didn't have any moods at all, except for the one that was described as "blah".

Anyway, over the past few months, I've been noticing that it's been getting worse. This month especially. So I started doing some research - lots of it. And I found that there are all sorts of changes that I can make to my diet to help alleviate the symptoms.

Every website that I found said the same thing - eliminate caffeine, sugar, salt, and alcohol.

Salt and alcohol? Not really an issue. I don't use salt on anything, I generally don't cook with it, and I can do without it. Alcohol? I drink on occasion, but not enough to really worry about that.

Sugar? Yeah, that one could be hard. I have a sweet tooth - always have. But, I can work around that and I've been working on that as I've been trying to get in better shape anyway. This just gives me more initiative.

But caffeine? Really? Eliminate caffeine???? Do the PMDD experts want me to die? Or kill someone else? It's no secret that I'm a Diet Pepsi addict. I've tried to cut down numerous times and have always failed miserably. In fact, I just bought a case the other day - and it was gone the next day. That's right - 24 cans in 2 days. That one is going to be tough.

The rest of it is easy. Eat more whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Get more B6, calcium, and magnesium. No-brainer stuff. So I've been looking up recipes and making grocery lists and figuring out exactly how I'm going to do this. And smart idea or not, I'm going to go off of the caffeine cold turkey. I don't have the willpower to "cut down" - it's all or nothing with me. I've already gone one day without, and I haven't killed anyone......yet......

Oh and I have to get regular aerobic exercise - so more initiative to get out there and run as much as possible. I think I can handle that, since the half-marathon is in just over a month...

No doubt about it - it's going to be hard. I'm not going to be the most pleasant person in the world for the next few days weeks as my body adapts to these changes. But seriously, I can't handle feeling like I can't control my emotions anymore. My kids don't deserve to have a mother who loses her temper over stupid stuff. The Dude doesn't need to be dealing with my anger and frustration either. I need to do this for me, and for them. I need to do this before I lose what's left of my mind.

And realistically, even if it doesn't help with the symptoms (which it had better, or I'm going to be ticked) it'll help with my overall health - both mentally and physically.

So please bear with me as I go through this. If I'm crankier than usual or if I snap at someone, please understand that it's not intentional. Eliminating the caffeine is going to be the hardest part - but if it does help, it'll be worth it in the end.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This evening, Daniel was sitting on my lap at the computer as I was researching some more stuff. He was tired and irritable but didn't want to go to sleep, so we started watching some videos. Sure enough, he crashed....using my wallet as his pillow. Silly kid.

There are days...

...that start out good enough, with the kids playing quietly and actually enjoying each others' company.

...that the arguing doesn't start until after lunch.

...that the arguing escalates to fist fights that won't stop.

...that I get absolutely nothing done because I'm too busy playing referee.

...when I really hate being a single parent.

...when I finally just tell the next kid who runs to me "if you're here to whine, complain, or tattle, I don't want to hear it".

...when kids get banished to their bedrooms for extended periods of time in a desperate attempt to regain peace.

...when all I want to do is find someone to watch the kids for 2 hours so that I can go out and run to clear my head.

...when I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to hide in the bathroom and cry, but I can't because someone else always needs to use it.

And then finally, at the end of the night, after the kids are in bed and the house is quiet and I have 5 minutes to myself...I realize that no matter how horrible the day has been, we made it through it and we survived. Today might not be the best memory of their childhood, but luckily days like these don't come around very often. I like to think that the good days outnumber the bad ones, although I will freely admit that sometimes it doesn't seem that way.

And good or bad, we'll get through all of them one way or another.

Another day in the life...

We didn't do anything terribly exciting today. It was nice being able to sleep in for a change, since this was the first "official" day of Spring Break for the kids. They actually let me sleep in much later than I expected, but then demanded that I get up to make them breakfast. But I fed them yesterday....

Sarah was still gone visiting a friend, so the 4 kids and I hung out and I cleaned and puttered around the house. They spent most of the day bickering over what movies to watch and what games to play, since it was raining almost all day. I could have sent them outside to play in the mud, but that would just create more of a mess for me to clean up so yeah, that wasn't happening. I do enough laundry and sweeping and mopping as it is.

After Sarah got home, we decided to get out of the house for a bit. We ended up going to Burger King for supper so that the kids could blow off some steam in the playground for a while and I could just sit and think somewhat coherently and make a to-do list.

It wasn't really storming out at all today, although there were a few rumbles of thunder and I saw a few flashes of lightning. It just pretty much rained all day, but it had stopped by the time we went out to eat. When we left the restaurant though, the sky looked super cool.

After we got home and I was trying to put laundry away, I got irritated because I can never find enough hangars for my clothes. I thought about going out to buy more, and then really started to look at my clothes. I don't have a closet - my stuff hangs on a rack (that I found in the yard when we moved in to this house) in the laundry room. And it was crammed full.

So I started looking through clothes and realized that I didn't really need any more hangars - I needed to get rid of some crap. I started going through and pulled out a bunch of stuff that I haven't worn in years, and some stuff that had been given to me that I never wore, and some stuff that was just downright hideous. It didn't make a huge difference, but I probably have about 15 empty hangars that I didn't have before, and 2 bags of stuff to be donated somewhere.

And it's all organized. For now.

Oh, and an added bonus? I found a couple of pairs of jeans that fit me that I didn't know that I had!

I'm actually hoping to go through it again and get rid of a few more things - it usually takes me 2 or 3 runs through the stuff to really thin it out - but it's going to be done. I have way too much crap in this house and a lot of it just needs to go elsewhere so that the next time we move, I don't have to deal with so much extra useless stuff.

Little by little, we're getting there. One of these days I'm going to go through that shelf that's over top of the clothes and get rid of 90% of the games and toys that are stashed up there. The kids have never really played with them, so they just need to go too.

Hopefully the weather will be a little nicer tomorrow and we can get back outside again. But, it doesn't look terribly promising. We'll just have to see what happens.

Police standoff - in my front yard

It started out as a normal enough day. I had 4 kids (Sarah spent the night with a friend) and we all got up and went to church. After church, we came home and watched the race.

At some point during the race, the kids got bored and so they went outside to play. A little while later, they came running in yelling that there were dogs in the backyard. That is not something that we deal with here very often, so I was immediately concerned. I went outside, not knowing what to expect. Sure enough, there were 3 rather large dogs running loose - 2 big black ones and a slightly smaller white one. They didn't appear to be aggressive, but I didn't want to take any chances. A quick glance at all of them showed me that they did have collars on, and they appeared to be clean and well-fed, so I didn't think that they were strays. With that assumption made, I started calling to them. The black ones came to me after a few minutes, and I was able to see that they had tags too - one had a tag from Alabama along with a tag with some in-state (but not local) phone numbers and one had a local phone number. I told Emily to go grab my phone while I held the dogs. I tried calling all of the numbers and couldn't get through to anyone.

In the meantime, the white dog started getting a little agitated. I don't know if he was just ticked off that I had his buddies or what, but I wasn't happy. I called 911 and was told that they don't have animal control officers working on the weekend, so unless the dogs were posing a threat, they wouldn't do anything about it. I informed them that I wasn't comfortable with them running around the neighborhood and the dispatcher sent an officer over. I stayed on the porch steps with the two black ones until he got here.

As soon as he stepped into my yard, the white dog lunged after him and started growling and barking at him. The officer immediately pulled his tazer out and aimed and yelled at the dog. The dog backed up but kept growling and snapping. The officer called for the animal control truck to get here NOW and just held the tazer there, ready to fire if necessary. He stood there like that until his backup arrived. I told the kids to get inside just in case things got ugly, but of course they were all standing in the front window watching.

The second officer pulled up in the truck and the white dog did the same thing to him. The black dogs - I was still holding them by their collars - started getting a little feistier but they didn't get aggressive so I just kept a hold of them. The officers tried to coax the white dog with treats and tried to get him with the catch pole, and it just wasn't working. It was really kind of funny - at one point they looked at me, still sitting on the steps holding these other 2 dogs, and asked if I was ok to just stay there. I just said that I was fine but if attacks started, I was out of there and they could fend for themselves! The one officer admitted that dogs just don't like him, so he was letting the other guy do all of the work, rather than making the situation worse.

The white dog finally ran over to me, and somehow I managed to shift both of the black dogs' collars into one hand and I snatched the white dog's collar with my other hand - so I now had 3 dogs by their collars, and two police officers looking at me like I was insane. They came over and got the white dog, since he was the one being difficult and they got him coaxed into the truck with minimal snapping and growling. I walked over to the truck with a black dog on each hand. The officer tried to get the first one into the truck and he didn't want to go, so he ended up just picking him up in his arms and putting him inside. The third dog - the one with 3 legs - just couldn't make the jump up into the truck and looked at the officers like he was saying "dude, you want me to get up there?" so the officer sighed, leaned over, and picked him up and put him in the truck too.

You can tell from the pictures that the dogs really weren't terribly ferocious - but that white dog did make me nervous. He was too jumpy and edgy and I just had visions of one of the kids moving the wrong way and having him attack - I questioned myself pretty hard before calling them in, but when I saw the white one's aggression toward the officers, I knew that I made the right call. And yes, the black ones had tags, but they were expired - and the white one had no tags whatsoever. The officers felt that there was enough information on the black dogs to track down the owners so I am confident that they will be returned to their home soon.

The one Emily has is the one with 3 legs.

Trying to call the phone numbers on the tags.

Is it too much to ask for a drama-free day???

The rest of the day (post-race)

After the girls and I got back from the race, we sent The Dude back to his house to rest. The kids went outside to play and I made lunch. They came inside to eat, and then went back outside.

Sarah ended up going to a friend's house for the night, so she left mid-afternoon. The other kids came in for a snack, and went back outside.

Then someone (aka "me") got the brilliant idea to head up to the library. On foot. Because, you know, 3.1 miles at a run isn't enough in one day. Let's add another mile or so...

The boys got some movies, Emily got a book or two, I got some books and a couple of movies. For once, the boys actually semi-behaved while we were there.

When we got ready to leave, Daniel announced that he was tired. I knew that he wasn't going to be able to walk the whole thing, but I had hoped that he would walk at least part of the way home. Nope. Wrong answer, Mom.

We got home, the kids played outside, I made supper and they came inside to eat and then went back outside....needless to say they all needed baths tonight. We finally got that done around 8:30 and they all fell asleep in front of the television - I just can't imagine why they're so tired. *snicker*

And I've been trying desperately to tackle the laundry. I'm not making much progress.

I think I might just push it off to the side and go to bed...after I get a shower and wash the stink off of me. Blech.

Race Results

Everything actually went according to plan for a change. The girls and I made it to Wichita with plenty of time to spare - and considering the amount of traffic getting into this place, that was no small feat!

Here are a few highlights....

Some people wore costumes.

This was the extent of my costume.

So I guess you probably want results?

Sarah, being the speed demon that she is, finished in 29:06.7 and got 4th in her age group - just outside of the prize range. She's disappointed that she didn't get a prize, but I couldn't be prouder of her. This was her best time ever.

Emily also got her best time ever and finished in 35:00.6. She was 13th in the same age group as Sarah. I am so proud of her too!

Now for me....

My best time for a 5K up until now was 41:43. I had hoped to beat that on New Years, but only got a 42:29. I was tracking my progress on my phone as I ran, so I knew that I was keeping up a good pace. When I rounded the corner to the finish line and saw the timer, I literally sprinted like I have never sprinted before...

.......and I ended up with a 40:14.9 and couldn't be more stoked about it! I shaved almost a minute and a half off of my best time yet. Granted, I came in 53rd in my age group, but I know that I wasn't the last one!

I couldn't have done it without The Dude. He was able to stay here at the house with the boys so that the girls and I could go - otherwise, I would not have been able to run. He is still not feeling well and it took a lot out of him to do it for us. I can't thank him enough for his help and his support - he has been my biggest cheerleader for the past few months and it means the world to me.