It still seems surreal at times. People ask me questions, and I answer like it happened to someone else. I tell them the details if they want to know them, and I share some very happy - but also very painful - memories.
I was never sure about that whole "time heals all wounds" concept. When he first died, I never imagined being able to talk about it without breaking down into tears. For months after it happened, I felt like I was in a fog.
But slowly, the fog began to lift. The pain did subside. And while I'm not going to lie and say that it never bothers me, it has gotten easier. I can look back at things that happened, and I can do so with the understanding and clarity that comes with the passage of time. The anger that was directed at him for the choices that he made is gone.
I don't know how it happened. I never thought that I would be able to let go of the anger - but I did. It took time and a lot of introspection to get to this point. And I can honestly say that right now, I am happier than I ever thought that I could be. Things did not turn out the way that I had planned 6 years ago - and I'm ok with that.
I couldn't be happier with where my life is taking me, and I can't wait to see where it leads.
Hard to believe that the little baby is Alex!
I know that there are times that you think of this time period and it bothers you.
ReplyDeleteAll I can do is be there for you, support you when you need it, give you my shoulder when it makes you cry and share in the laughter when you remember a funny story.
Here's to you and me, making a whole lot of new memories, full of smiles, laughter, fun and cadbury cupcakes!!
Gee, thanks for making me cry! LOL
DeleteThank you - for everything - but especially for being my rock.
I remember that day all too well....I was MAD at you, because we were both in MA at the same time, and I didn't get any kind of notification.... :P I am sure that I have an easier time remembering the good, because I wasn't smack dab in the middle of the bad. I remember the smiles and the laughs that we shared, and I couldn't be more thankful to have such an amazing friend in you.
ReplyDeleteHappy Non-Anniversary babe. <3
That was a fun weekend though, wasn't it? And you didn't get any notification because even when we went out to lunch that day, we didn't know that we were going to do it. We didn't know until Sunday night, and then we did it on Monday. LOL
DeleteThere were good times, and I find myself remembering them more often now. Life is good. :)
Love you!
KERRY IS A GEM. PERIOD!
ReplyDeleteGRANNY
Yes, yes he is!
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