Unfortunately, although Jared earned the ticket, he couldn't go. Remember the other day when we all went plum picking? Somehow he apparently managed to find a patch of poison ivy. And apparently he lifted his shirt and rolled around in it. OK, maybe not, but that's what it looks like. He's miserable, and he's covered in the stuff, so he didn't get to go swimming.
And then of course, I had to start playing with the effects on my phone...
When we got done at the pool party, I had to take the girls back over to Ex1's house. On the way back, the sunset was gorgeous - so I couldn't resist taking pictures. And of course, I had to play with the effects on my phone again. Hey, it was a dirt road with no traffic - I wasn't being stupid.
Now, the other stuff.
I feel weird even talking about this. I've vented already about the situation with my van. I looked at a couple of other options today - the garage that I usually go to used to be able to do payment arrangements - but they don't anymore. And they used to have a credit card deal for big repairs - well, they still do, but again, my credit wasn't good enough to get it. So while I was using The Dude's van to take his mother to the doctor, he and a friend of ours went down to the dealership and towed my van back home. So it's sitting in my backyard again, just waiting for a new transmission.
I've had a bunch of people who have asked how they can help. And this is hard for me, because I don't like to ask for help. Not for me, anyway. I can ask for help for other people all day long, but I don't like to do it for myself. I look at it as "I got myself into this mess and I can get myself out of it".
But frankly, I'm kind of stuck right now. School starts in just over 2 weeks. I have to run kids back and forth every day. I can walk Alex and Daniel to school (especially since they'll be in the same building this year *happy dance*) but the older 3 go to school 13 miles from here. The Dude just started a new job, and he needs to get back and forth to work. It's going to be too much for both of us to handle with only one vehicle. Add to that the fact that my van isn't even paid off yet, and you'll see some of my frustration. I have no choice but to fix it.
The good news is this though...my garage gave me a better estimate than the dealership (go figure). And just to prove it....(Sorry, but I blocked out the identifying stuff. I might not be totally anonymous, but I'm not going to just hand out all of my personal info, you know?)
This is a local garage, who I trust. They've done 95% of the work on my vehicles over the past 8-ish years and I've never had a problem with them so I feel confident going there. Plus, they're local - so if there's an issue, it'll be easy to get it back there to get it fixed again.
Anyway, like I said, people have asked how they can help. If you want to throw a few bucks into the "Transmission Fund" you can send it via PayPal to non-stopmom(at)hotmail(dot)com.
And before anyone says that I'm looking for a handout - oh hell, if you're going to say it, just say it. I can't change your opinion of me. Just know that I am doing everything in my power to get the money myself. I have a few odd jobs lined up and I'll be selling anything that I can sell and taking orders for stuff and going through all of my junk to see what can be sold at a friend's garage sale in 2 weeks. I'm doing what I can, and honestly, if this had happened at the beginning of the summer, I wouldn't be so stressed - but with school starting, the pressure is mounting.
So if you want to help, great. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I honestly do, and I appreciate it.
If you can't help, that's ok. I understand. Honestly, I do.
And if you think that I'm a worthless piece of trash for even putting this out there, that's ok too. I've been called worse. Really.
Just know that I will continue to pay it forward, in any way that I possibly can.
Advice: NEVER go to the dealership for ANYTHING! They are always more expensive. Your best bet is always little mom and pop shops. Sometimes, they even let you make payments :)
ReplyDeleteI went there for a couple of reasons: (1) It's a small dealership, and it's a small town. They don't want negative publicity. (2) Since it was only 609 miles out of warranty, I was hoping that they would work with me. I was wrong. (3) I was also hoping that they would be able to refinance it for me and roll the cost of the repair into the van payment. But, they couldn't do that.
DeleteSo yes, I am going to the mom & pop place, as soon as I come up with the money. :)
Yay!! Count me in on payday! I want to mention though that you didn't say people need to go to PayPal to do this. I hope you raise a kajillion bucks on PayPal! :)
ReplyDeleteKatie
Thank you, Katie! I appreciate it so much! <3
DeleteAnd yeah, I went back and edited the PayPal part. Hopefully it makes sense. My mind isn't working very well tonight.
2 words REAL JOB
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! Why didn't I think of that??? *facepalm*
DeleteBeing a full-time mom to 5 is a "real job," you tool! The pay really sucks, however.
DeleteKeep trying maybe you find another husband. You make me sick. You post RIP like you could give a rats a$$.
DeleteBEG BEG BEG educated but worthless. YOU ARE PENN STATE ALRIGHT. A SCANDLE Good luck loser.
Enjoy spending Daniels $$ on you and 4 kids that do not deserve it. You will have to answer some day
Go ahead, throw every insult in the book at me whether they are relevant or not. I don't care.
DeleteYes, I will have to answer for my actions someday - and you know what? I'm ok with that. The question is: how will YOU answer for your hatefulness that you choose to spew from behind the curtain of anonymity?
TRUTH HURTS....even if you know me it wont make you any better. You worry about my hatefulness? Look in the mirror. The way you treated Jeff then feel so bad hes gone... but laughing to the bank.
DeleteWhy dont you just get a job. You ask everyone to help poor you but what are you doing to help yourself. Try putting effort into more than begging.
If it matters I am you ex-brother-in law
DeleteI have several ex-brothers-in-law.
DeleteAnd obviously, you never paid attention to anything that was going on between me and Jeff. You want to toss around how I treated him - how about how he treated me? How about the time he pulled knife on me and the kids? How about the time that he choked me when I was pregnant with Daniel? How about the time that he pushed me and knocked me down on the floor, again when I was pregnant with Daniel? How about when he got arrested for driving while he was drunk?
I stood by him until it was no longer safe for me and the children to do so anymore, and then I was done. I refused to continue to enable his behavior any longer. I knew that he was on a self-destructive path and I couldn't stop him, so the best thing that I could do was to remove myself and the children (including HIS son) from the path.
I'm not begging for anything. I asked for help. I'm not sitting back and waiting for the donations to roll in - I am doing everything that I can to contribute as well. Sure, I can get a job - and put 5 kids into daycare and bring home nothing for a paycheck except for a lot of frustration. If you must know, my plan is to get a job - after the kids start school in 2 weeks - however, it is also necessary for me to have transportation in order to make that happen.
So, get off your high horse, ASK ME about my side of the story instead of making assumptions, and maybe, just maybe you'll understand a little bit more. Or continue to live in the same state of denial and hatred for the rest of your life.
Your choice.
I have an idea, if you are willing to agree to it.
DeleteI can only assume at this point that you are a member of Jeff's family. Since I have opened the door for communication before with no response from anyone in the family, but you seem to be willing to at least talk - let's take it private. That way, no one else can jump in and fan the flames any higher than they already are.
It has been well over 3 years since I have had any meaningful communication from anyone in his family. I am willing to talk - calmly and rationally - if you are willing to do the same.
If you are, please email me. non-stopmom(at)hotmail(dot)com
I saw this unfold and i know it wasnt your idea to ask, it was others wanting to help. Im a single mom too and noone is immune from needing help once and awhile...dont pay attention to the negitive comments some will make, there will be sceptics which is understandable (not im usually very sceptical) but dont kick her while shes down^^ If raising 5 kids isnt a real job idk what is..like i said in a diff post if everyone could just send a few bucks you would have it in no time so im in as soon as i can
ReplyDeleteThe haters don't really get to me - I'm used to it. I hate to ask for help for myself, but it is what it is at this point. I know that not everyone is going to agree with me, and that's ok - life would be boring if everyone agreed with everyone else!
DeleteOh jeez. The 1st Anonymous, Really?
ReplyDeleteBack off.
I bet your life isn't a skip in the tulips.
NSM: I wish I could contribute... I really wish I could. My cars going too, and it really sucks. I will keep you in my prayers, something will come through.
You are a great mom and a strong woman... don't let idiots get you down.
Oh no! What's up with your car? That stinks!
DeleteI know that it's all going to work out in the end - I have complete faith in that. Sometimes it's just hard getting there, you know? Heck, I know you know!
My first cylinder and my throttle body, ignition coils... I heard a bunch of those words and thought... JESUS CHRIST?! WHY CAN"T I WIN THE LOTTO!
DeleteAMY, YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. I ADMIRE YOU NOW EVEN MORE. DID YOU EVER GO OVER TO CHURCH AND TALK TO YOUR MINISTER LIKE I SUGGESTED. SOMETIMES THEY'LL EVEN TAKE UP A COLLECTION FOR YOU. YOU DID ALL THE RIGHT STEPS SO DON'T WASTE TIME ON THE NAYERS.THEIR DAY MAY COME WAY TO SOON.AS A MOTHER YOUR DOING IT RIGHT BY BEING THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.YOU LEFT YOUR PAST IN THE PAST AND NOW YOU WORK LIKE A HORSE. I COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU. I PRAY GOD BLESSES YOU SO YOU CAN GET IT FIXED AND THEN YOU CAN PAY BACK THOSE WHO HELPED YOU I WISH YOU'D TURN THE ANONYMOUS OFF.WHO WANTS TO READ THAT JUNK. WE HAVE TO HAVE FAITH THAT GOD'S IN CONTROL AND HELP WILL BE ON IT'S WAY. LET THEM SIGN THEIR NAME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
ReplyDeleteGRANNY
I actually do have a meeting at church tomorrow night (not about this, but for something else) and I'm going to talk to the pastor then if she's there. I don't know if they can do anything or not but it's worth a shot at this point.
DeleteThe anonymous part doesn't really bother me - if they don't want to come clean and tell me who they are, it's ok with me. I know that not everyone likes me, and I'm ok with that.
As a mom, and a (relatively normal) human being, I completely understand how hard it is to ask, or even hint, for help. I am the exact same way, regardless of how much I may need it, I usually keep my mouth shut and know that one way or another, it'll all work out. Raising two kids is more than I can handle at times, so I admire you for making life work with 5.
ReplyDeleteTo the person who said "2 words REAL JOB", you obviously a)aren't a parent, or b)don't have to deal with the children if you do have them. Being a single parent, even with partial custody with the other parent here and there, is a REAL JOB. It may not pay in cash, but it pays in ways that you would never understand, so I'm going to waste my energy explaining them.
Raising kids is work - whether there are 2, 5, or a dozen of them! And no, we don't get paid for it, but I'm lucky in the respect that normally, I don't have to work. I can spend 100% of my time with my kids and not have to send them to daycare. But at the same time, there is not any extra for when things like this happen, and that's when we get stuck and need help.
DeleteIt can happen to anyone.
I Am GLAD you asked for help! I hate doing that too, but sometimes that is the only option. That's one reason why single moms are heroes. Not only do they do so much for their family 24 hours a day, but they have to be humble too (which is painful). I can't help right now but I want to. As soon as a check comes my way I want to pitch in. We have to look out for each other. Just ignore the selfish, arrogant, anonymous, losers.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debbie! It was definitely not what I wanted to do, but it is what it is.
DeleteAs for the haters - I expect them with every post that I write. I've learned to just let it roll off - it's not worth getting stressed about..
My husband is layed off and I just had to fix my car. I wish their was a way to help you. I will try to think up ideas. Also I agree about the church. Ask them for help. the worst they can do is say no!
ReplyDeleteI did talk to my pastor tonight, and she's going to see what she can do. So the feelers are out at this point!
DeleteI wish i could help. I have to get a new car too and i am try to save and move out my dad house into a new place with my daughter (more for my mental health then anything.) But my prayers are with you and I am going to favorite this site and when i do come to some extra money or something I'll donate it whenever I can just for the heck of it. I know what it is like to be broke and one car and everything. My ex is specially giving me a ruff time too with my the divorce and luckily i have a supportive bf.
ReplyDeleteIf everyone could help everyone the world would be in an awesome place. It really would be. *sigh* Maybe I'll get some extra cash for Christmas and i can donate it for YOU and be like buy yourself a nice bottle of wine and cheese, bc with five kids, mama needs it.^.^ <3
But you and your kids are def in my thoughts!!!!!!!
I appreciate the kind thoughts so much! I know what it's like to have the ex hassling you - I just wish that they would realize that it only hurts the kids when they do that.
DeleteBest wishes to you as well!
I hope this is not a scam, I sent all the $$ in my pay pal Acc. It's only $5.47, but I hope it helps - Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI can assure you that it is not a scam. I know that my word isn't good for much, considering that to most, I am just a stranger on the internet, but my word is all that I have.
DeleteWe got back from vacation on July 3, and the van died that night. If you go back through my blog, you'll see several posts about it, as we attempted to diagnose it ourselves and then towed it to 2 different garages to figure out what was happening.
I am planning to set up a ChipIn account - since I have never done this before, I didn't realize that using that would have been a better way to go, as you can see exactly how much has been donated. I plan to be very open about the amounts that I have received and will post as much documentation as possible to alleviate anyone's worries as to what is happening with the money.
I did get your donation today, and I appreciate it very much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Just wanted to shoot my heartfelt thanks out to everyone who has chosen to chip in. I'm doing my part, even hit the pawn shop, although that didn't go the way I wanted it to.
ReplyDeleteTo the poster above, thank you so much for your generosity and I can personally assure you it's no scam. If you look back at some of the past blog posts, you'll see my big behind underneath the van trying to figure out WTH happened...
Not able to help now, but wishing you THE BEST OF LUCK!
ReplyDeleteM :)
Thank you so much, Melinda!
DeleteYou don't have to answer to anybody but your kids. Your happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who have a MOM who takes excellent care of them. Everyone else can take a flying leap.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wendi! I tell myself the exact same thing, but then I find myself answering and defending myself to others. *sigh* Doesn't really matter though, because no matter what, someone will be unhappy! But that's their problem, not mine.
Delete