Frustration

I've been having some issues with Alex. My darling little redhead. The only way that I can describe this kid is that he is what you would end up with if the Tazmanian Devil and the Energizer Bunny had a child - he never stops moving and he leaves a path of destruction everywhere he goes. He wakes up at 90mph and doesn't stop until he goes to bed at night. His mouth runs constantly as well as his body.

He is super smart and he has a memory that stuns me at times. We can go somewhere that we've never been before - like to a friend's house - and if we go back a year later, he remembers how to get there, can describe every room in the house, and will tell me what everyone was wearing during the first visit. He's amazing like that (and certainly doesn't get that trait from me).

Anyway, along with his energy comes a definite lack of impulse control. He does whatever he wants to whenever he wants to do it and doesn't think about the consequences. This is something that we have been working on for what seems like forever. Lately the big thing has been stealing food. Now, the kid is not starving by any stretch of the imagination. He's a big boy, yes, but he's built just like his father. He's active and his doctor has no concern about his weight - she feels that he'll grow into his body as he gets older. But I do make an effort to watch what he eats without making a big deal out of it. I try to limit all of the junk food that the kids eat but I'm far from being a health nut.

He has also been having toileting issues for as long as I can remember - something else that the doctor thought that he would eventually grow out of, but so far no luck. He's been having accidents both here and at school almost daily. I've talked to his teacher (who is wonderful) and we have both stressed to him that if he feels like he has to go, he doesn't even have to ask permission - he can just get up and go regardless of what the class is doing. He says that he understands, yet it still happens.

So, after a particularly trying couple of days with him, I decided that I was going to start with him writing sentences. Yesterday, he got to sit at the kitchen table with a spiral notebook and write a page full of "I will not steal food."....and a page full of "I will not touch other people's stuff."....and a page full of "I will not poop my pants."

And then he stole a container full of muffins that I had made yesterday - I found them under his bed this morning. Apparently, he didn't like them because he only ate half of one instead of all 6 this time. *sigh*

I talked to his teacher today when I picked him up from school and she has been noticing that he has been acting out a little more over the past few weeks. She can't really pinpoint anything "major", just little stuff that she has been having to warn him about more than she has before. So, she and I are going to put our heads together and try to come up with *something* that we can both do with him - some kind of a reward system - at home and at school to give him as much consistency as possible. And I am going to call his pediatrician tomorrow and see if we can come up with some explanation for the toileting problems.

I've had him in counseling before too. He went for a year or so, maybe more. The counselor couldn't come up with anything other than "he's just an active boy" and let it go at that. Not that I want him to be diagnosed with anything, but I need something to go on before I lose what's left of my mind. About the only thing that is saving me right now is knowing that even with the issues that he's having, he's still doing great in school - he's ahead of the class in just about every area (which I know, could be leading to some of the problems) and he loves to go to school.

So hopefully, in the next few weeks, after talking to his doctor and working out some kind of system with his teacher, I'll start to see some improvements in his behavior. Otherwise, I might need a vacation....in a padded room.